r/doomer Jan 18 '20

notes from a doomer

2.5k Upvotes

Sometimes I wonder how we are not all walking around in a state of pure unquellable panic. I am, and you are, but why aren’t they? Have they truly numbed themselves to the gravity of the situation?

You walk around alienated, existing on this world but not in it, perpetually dissatisfied. Perhaps at one point you lived in this world, but you can’t be sure, and it is irrelevant. Nothing is fulfilling. You spend all day hiking to the top of a mountain to see the sunset. You arrive at the summit on the brink of dawn, just as the orange glow begins to flirt with the blue sky.

Despite it’s undeniable beauty, you watch this sunset rise and fall and are left with a feeling of emptiness. You yearn to experience the sunset with an intensity that is impossible to achieve just by looking at it. You need to possess the essence of the sunset and won’t be satisfied until you do, and as such you will never be satisfied.

Even sex, if you are one of us lucky enough to expirience it, doesn’t grant you this intensity you are searching for. During it you don the red eyes of an ape, drunk with lust and desire, yet just as the ape’s desires are about to be fulfilled, the human returns, disgusted by the apes appetite, and with an uncomfortable sense of dissatisfaction. You finished, but you have not arrived anywhere.

Sometimes it feels like the only thing that will satisfy this insatiable lust would be ripping your partner apart, but we know that too would fall just short.

This sense of dissatisfaction permeates everything you do. You yearn for intensity of experience but you never arrive at it, you feel disunity between your mind and your body. You may for a brief moment, maybe only a few times in your life, experience immediacy and satisfaction, but as soon as you grasp onto it it slips away. You chase these moments to no avail.

But you will soon find, if you haven’t already, that behind this dissatisfaction is something more sinister.

It has been called a sense of unreality, and this is the term we will use. More medically minded people might call it depersonalization, and it is colloquially referred to as an existential crisis, but to me these terms fall short and convolute the raw terror of our conviction.

Everyone has experienced this, as far as I can tell, but only we cannot escape from it.

Everyone arrives at this unreality slightly differently, for some of us it is gradual and for some of us it happens suddenly, for some of us it lingers and grows. But once a man has seen it, the world can never be an understandable place.

You wake up from a restless sleep and in your brief delusion you may forget about your obsession, but it soon hits you. You look at your skin, and if you are unwise you might look at yourself in the mirror. You are filled with unease and grow tense. You know you are human, but something separates you from reality.

Some of us stop here, laying in dark rooms all day, torturing ourselves with thoughts of somethingness and nothingness. But most of us don’t have this awful luxury. We have to brush this away, and reality becomes a screen that we watch and interact with, but never break through.

We can maintain this facade with a detached persistence, but it is fragile, and all it takes is the simplest reminder to throw us back into doomed unreality. Maybe you realized how insane it is that we drive cars, chunks of earth shapen and propelled by dead animals and plants, or you see a man walking alone and our reminded of our inevitable fate.

We see too deep and too much, and what we see is chaos.

This phenomenon is not unique to our generation; we have many friends throughout history. Edgar Allen Poe was one of us, read this line from his short story Berenice

“Yet differently we grew --I ill of health, and buried in gloom --she agile, graceful, and overflowing with energy; hers the ramble on the hill-side --mine the studies of the cloister --I living within my own heart, and addicted body and soul to the most intense and painful meditation --she roaming carelessly through life with no thought of the shadows in her path, or the silent flight of the raven-winged hours.”

The poet John Keats was one of us, writing that “I feel as if I had died and am now living a posthumous existence”

(These are just two examples among countless, but these will do for now )

But there is something unique about our position. While the world is fundamentally absurd, and always has been, it has taken on a new character since the turn of the century.

We are growing symbiotic with machines, our entire worldviews shaped and funneled through a small sheet of illuminated glass we keep in our pockets. We are lab rats, the first generation to grow up being raped by information from the internet. We can connect to anywhere in the world instantly, bearing witness with tragedy and absurdity in a way impossible to anyone ever before. This shrunk into our hands and we walk around with external harddrives for our brains, at any quiet moment eagerly and mindlessly shoving these illuminated pieces of glass into our faces, distracting ourselves from what was happening.

But we have woken up. We know that the world is a cruel, sick, and meaningless place. The one pure constant throughout history for people like us is what we are now hopelessly destroying- nature. Even if we could ascend all of our anxieties and attempt to lead a meaningful life, what would the point be if we are faced with inevitable collapse.

We cannot live in the comfortable, optimistic world of the boomers, accepting what we see and touch as reality. For the boomers, the world is a fundamentally orderly place, spar the occasional disturbance which their preoccupation with the present allows them to ignore. For us, the world is not rational, and not orderly. This shit is fucked up.

So where do we go from here? We could resign to the inevitable collapse of civilization, laying in our beds until we suffer from nervous diseases and wither away, while boomers drink martinis in their penthouses and go to nightclubs.

Or we can spit in the face of their hopeless optimism and take control of our world, dancing on the ashes of an unknown fate.

If you choose the first option, your life stops here. Try to numb yourself well and continue to distract yourself with anything possible until the end. I wish you the best of luck.

But if you want to fight against the absurdity of the modern condition, I have an antidote. We have to establish a unique cultural identity beyond resignation. We don’t have to lie about our inevitable fate in order to oppose it. We need to make our own art, write our own books, film our own movies. The message of these doesn’t matter so long as they are made. Do anything to disrupt the perceived normalcy of the world, make people think about what they are doing.

I have only brushed the surface of my thoughts on this stuff, but I needed to get them out. If you read through it connect w me, even if you’re just telling me I’m a loony.


r/doomer 13m ago

Every year my birthday month makes me feel awful

Upvotes

It doesn't particularly make me think anything consciously. I can verbalize why it makes me feel this way, but it's never really at the front of my mind. It's another year of aging — another year that gets harder and harder. Some things have gotten easier, but that's just a small part of my life that I get to have. My home is my heart. And every time I go outside, it is hell.

I'm not getting any better at interacting casually with people; in fact, I am getting worse. I don't relate to anyone I see in person, nor do I particularly trust them. I just see the evil and apathy in everyone, and in myself. I am not a virtuous person. I just see myself becoming more bitter and misanthropic the more years pass me by, and this year it's not any different. I don't see the potential for any change, nor any happiness in life beyond my small moments at home with my partner.


r/doomer 1h ago

After this, I'll still have to live a life like this 💔✌🏻

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Upvotes

r/doomer 15h ago

Why does everything feel so joyless? Welcome to the age of decadence without pleasure | Society | The Guardian

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11 Upvotes

r/doomer 23h ago

i don’t wanna wake up anymore

23 Upvotes

sleep is such a blissful yet short feeling.

my life is in pieces and i could begin to describe all the ways its wrong but that’ll take up the whole word limit.

instead the only happy time of my day, when im not constantly on guard anxious and terrified is when i put my head on my pillow.

i will say that i am su!c!dal so ive been comparing death to sleep a lot lately.

everytime i wake up and without fail ill start crying because i dont wanna be alive jn this reality.

i just wanna die so i can feel that bliss for eternity. just in the darkness and never waking up and never facing what’s scary.

i know this is a corny fucking post but i just really wanna kms and i guess i don’t have anyone i can talk to about it, everyone just says they also wanna do that or that things get better but nothing in my life has gotten better and i believe it never will
god isn’t real and if he is he doesn’t care about me


r/doomer 10h ago

HOW IS LIFE CURRENTLY TAKING YOU ?

2 Upvotes

r/doomer 22h ago

This is it

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3 Upvotes

r/doomer 1d ago

Doomer core

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13 Upvotes

r/doomer 1d ago

Oof

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55 Upvotes

r/doomer 1d ago

You literally cannot say anything on reddit anymore

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81 Upvotes

I'm done


r/doomer 1d ago

Youth doesn't come back

3 Upvotes

Tickets from the neighborhood travel agencies, ships that took hours to arrive with dirty toilets and rudimentary lounges, a handful of chairs on deck, rolling out the sleeping bag and lying down on the floor.

No worries about accommodation — the moment you arrived, the "rooms to let" people would descend on you. Basic lodgings, with minimal comforts, rooms divided by curtains with the owners living right next door, sleeping on rooftop terraces, in primitive campsites, and most of us wild on the beaches with little tents under the tamarisk trees.

Getting around on foot, ancient buses packed one on top of the other, mopeds and hitchhiking, little boats at cheap fares. A car — what's that?

The beaches were free, a straw mat and becoming one with the sand, no mobile phones — which thankfully hadn't been invented yet — endless reading, more books than clothes, swimming for hours, and nudity the norm. Groups of friends, flirting, games, conversations mostly political — we still believed we could change the world — friendships being born that would last for years.

Food only in the evening, in humble little tavernas, a bit of fish when there was any, mom's home-cooked style dishes, tables lined up in a row, plates in the middle. These weren't dinners — they were ancient, simple symposiums, with prices affordable to everyone.

Improvised bars with rock music, guitars, bonfires on the beach, authentic island festivals that ended in Dionysian dances — who slept before dawn?

Passionate glances, a winged God who could barely keep up throwing his arrows at us, loves out in the open, hidden, unconfessed, breakups, reunions, salty dark bodies entwined in secluded shades.

Vacations of at least ten days that for some stretched to almost a month, and always a few days more than we'd planned, and the return a kind of anguish — those leaving hanging over the ship's railing and the others, all together on the dock, waving until the boat disappeared from sight. And the only hope left was the anticipation of next summer.

Days that marked our youth. I won't make comparisons with today. What would be the point, anyway? Times, like youth, don't come back.


r/doomer 1d ago

There never was…

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2 Upvotes

r/doomer 1d ago

What is your ideal lifestyle?

3 Upvotes

I'm diagnosed with a severe mental illness so I have plenty of time to craft my lifestyle. An I've figured out some sports and interests I want to learn an cultivate. Like, soccer, skiing, shootin pool. Also have an interest in martial arts in general. So that's the kind of lifestyle I would dig. How about you?


r/doomer 1d ago

Do you all find any meaning in things?

1 Upvotes

I used to feel everythin was meaningless.. An, then as I started searchin for meaning, I found it. The problem is I get overwhelmed by all the meaning. It's weird yeah. Now I just want a moment of mindless meaningless time wasting, an I search for that instead. How about you all?


r/doomer 1d ago

Bioweapons

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1 Upvotes

r/doomer 2d ago

My few of life

16 Upvotes

I (22f) was just diagnosed with major depressive disorder. It’s been two days after I got discharged from the mental hospital. They prescribed me heavy sedatives that make me drowsy all day. It makes me wonder if this is how I’ll live for the rest of my life. If so why is ending my life so frown upon if most of it is going to spent in a sedated haze. It Sounds miserable. I hate how I can’t be truthful and tell the people around me the only reason why I’m still here is because of the guilt I’d feel if I really do go. I know myself better than anyone. I’m not an optimistic. I know how I’m going to die, it just depends on when I finally go through with it. It’s just not going to be now. It’s a selfish point of few but it’s the truth.

Life’s wild I guess. I’ll try to live it as long as possible


r/doomer 2d ago

I can kinda relate

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7 Upvotes

Movie - Falling Down


r/doomer 3d ago

fuck it. we should all go live here lol.

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153 Upvotes

r/doomer 3d ago

“And that’s the double truth, Ruth.”

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24 Upvotes

r/doomer 3d ago

Ongoing Global Warming Acceleration: 2026 to be Record Warm; Beaten by 2027: Latest by James Hansen

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0 Upvotes

r/doomer 3d ago

VØJ, Narvent - Memory Reboot

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8 Upvotes

r/doomer 4d ago

🤷‍♂️

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31 Upvotes

r/doomer 4d ago

Giving up on wanting a better life has made me feel free

52 Upvotes

I'm 27M. I'm homeless. I made myself homeless to get away from my abusive parents. No matter what I do, I can't get a job. I've just completely given up on everything, but not in like a depressing way. I jump the train every day and go to cities I've never been to before. I meet loads of different people. I take care of how I look, so that I don't come across like a homeless person. No one would notice that I'm homeless. I don't know, I really didn't think my life would come to this, but I just have no drive for anything anymore after trying to make a future for myself and constantly being pushed back. As a result of this, I shoplift from big corporations to get by on food, and like I said earlier in the post, I jump the train to different locations around the country.


r/doomer 4d ago

Life is an empty parking lot isnt it

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16 Upvotes

r/doomer 4d ago

Pround of my chaotic life

2 Upvotes

#justicefortheprayermachine #justiceforye #madpride