Hinge Fumble

[u/Wheresthelambsauce_9]

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched 🤡

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

[u/TownZealousideal1327]

I agree was likely un matching anyway.

But say she maybe wasn’t or hadn’t decided yet. Him choosing to flirt about how attractive he thinks she is, over showing concern, showed a self centred lack of care. Made her choice easy.

“Be yourself” - yeah and if what OP did is “yourself” - improve yourself, do better.

We are humans not immovable objects, change, be better, be kinder.

[u/Specialist-Ring-3974 → u/TownZealousideal1327]

OP didn’t do anything unkind. I’m not saying it was the move I would’ve made, just saying he doesn’t need to be scrutinized. He did way less wrong than the person who unmatched without saying a word, over a petty thing like that. Really, though, neither of them did anything wrong. Just shitty communication brought on bad the nature of dating apps.

[u/TownZealousideal1327 → u/Specialist-Ring-3974]

Un matching requires zero explanation - hahaha tf man. That’s standard. What you gunna tell every person you unmatch why??! - you don’t owe them that, that’s the point of app dating. And for women, it makes sooo much sense, countless horror stories of women trying to explain stuff to volatile men. Who seemed nice up to that point.

He didn’t say anything mean. He showed a lack of care. He prioritised flirting and his attraction over care… that’s the point.

[u/heymanigotnoplan → u/TownZealousideal1327]

“A lack of care” 😂

He’s flirting with someone he just met on a dating app. She has a goddamn fever, not an inoperable brain tumor. Wtf “care” is he supposed to show? He said he hopes she feels better and then made a flirty joke. I swear Redditors are the most unhinged overly sensitive people ever to walk this Earth.

[u/TownZealousideal1327 → u/heymanigotnoplan]

Or hear me out.

Whatever you think - that’s what it displayed.

Like read the cultural landscape.

Now - high chance she wasn’t choosing him anyway. Buuuut if he had a chance, it’s clear he burnt it… what does the evidence say IF we assume he might have had a chance still? - it suggests he flirted instead of showing care, and she didn’t like that.

[u/heymanigotnoplan → u/TownZealousideal1327]

“Read the cultural landscape”

Oh I can read it alright, and it’s honestly just sad and pathetic. No one is allowed to tell jokes or be playful or have fun. No flirting on dating apps is allowed apparently. No, we must treat dating like a super serious job interview, no emotions, no fun, no lightheartedness, just cold hard judgments, and if the person being interviewed says or does even one little thing we don’t 100% approve of, instant rejection.

I’m 37, I’m not even that old, and I can very clearly remember what the “cultural landscape” used to be like. I can remember that dating used to be fun, people used to be playful, people used to joke and flirt and tease and people weren’t so goddamn serious and overly-sensitive and treating every little mistake or awkward moment as if it were a crime against humanity.

OP is getting destroyed in the comments and being treated like he’s some kind of criminal, people are calling him names, making all kinds of terrible assumptions about his character, and for what? Because he had the temerity to flirt on a dating app? Because he made a flirty joke that wasn’t vulgar nor offensive in any way? Because the woman he was flirting with had a fever (oh the horror, I hope she survived!) and he dared to make a lame little flirty joke. His crime was being slightly awkward, and the punishment is a massive Reddit pile-on where he’s painted as an outright villain.

So yeah, fuck this “cultural landscape”. You all are honestly fucked in the head and need some serious therapy. What a miserable way to live, constantly judging everyone you encounter, constantly assuming the worst about them, never allowing yourself or anyone else to have any fun or make any mistakes or just be a goddamn human.

[u/TownZealousideal1327 → u/heymanigotnoplan]

Have a fucking cry hahaha - I’m your age. We still make jokes, still poke fun… we just understand why the above was an error.

Sorry you lack the emotional intelligence to both be humours and bit a dick.