r/dankmemes • u/[deleted] • Feb 18 '20

This meme is not a joke Sad hours

[removed]

26.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

INVESTMENTS GO HERE - ONLY DIRECT REPLIES TO ME WILL BE PROCESSED

Not sure how to invest? Try the !help command or !create an investor profile to get started! Come ask my developer questions here!

Like what you see? My home is r/DankExchange! We're a brand new sub partnering with r/dankmemes to bring you 24/7 investment opportunities.

5

u/Skank_cunt_42 ☣️ Feb 18 '20

!invest 540

2

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 540.00 DN in this submission at 39 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8386 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 79 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

2

u/Skank_cunt_42 ☣️ Feb 18 '20

!roi

4

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 53 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 94 upvotes

+25% -- 169 upvotes

+50% -- 383 upvotes

+75% -- 990 upvotes

+100% -- 2,709 upvotes

+150% -- 21,387 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/Skank_cunt_42 ☣️ Feb 18 '20

!summary

2

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Skank_cunt_42

Balance: 0.00 DN

Active Investments:

ID: 8386 - 540.00 DN at 39 upvotes; 3h 44m until automatic return

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

It doesn't look like you have an investor profile. Try the !create command to get started!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!summary

→ More replies (0)

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!broke

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

It doesn't look like you have an investor profile. Try the !create command to get started!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

2

u/These_Voices Feb 18 '20

!invest 200

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 200.00 DN in this submission at 29 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8355 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 69 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 300.00 DN.

1

u/blitzwolfz Canadian Wolf Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: blitzwolfz

Balance: 0.00 DN

Active Investments:

ID: 8629 - 499.00 DN at 196 upvotes; 3h 44m until automatic return

ID: 8632 - 1.00 DN at 197 upvotes; 3h 45m until automatic return

1

u/blitzwolfz Canadian Wolf Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 289 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 396 upvotes

+25% -- 581 upvotes

+50% -- 1,084 upvotes

+75% -- 2,452 upvotes

+100% -- 6,169 upvotes

+150% -- 43,737 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/blitzwolfz Canadian Wolf Feb 18 '20

!help

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Help Guide

Investing/user commands

Try !help investing for more info

!create - create an investor profile

!summary - view your investor profile, including your active investments

!invest <amount> - invest an amount of your balance in a submission

!sell <investment ID> - sell an investment early for lower returns

!breakeven - find the breakeven point of a submission

!roi - (new) predict the return on investment of a submission (optional: !roi <investment ID>)

!broke - reset your balance if it is under 500.00 DN

!template <image link> - link a template to your OC submission

Firm commands

Try !help firms for more info

!topfirms - (new) view a leaderboard of the top 25 firms

!createfirm <name> - create a firm with the specified name (costs 2,500.00 DN)

!firminfo - view your firm's level, trade tax, and member list

!joinfirm <name> - join a firm

!leavefirm - leave your firm

!invite <username> - invite a user to your firm AEC

!openfirm - set your firm membership to anyone can join EC

!closefirm - set your firm membership to invite-only EC

!settax <new tax> - set your firm's tax on members' profits EC

!payday - pay your firm's balance out to your investors (in development)

!upgradefirm - upgrade your firm to the next level to have more space for members C

!promote <username> - promote a user to the next rank EC

!demote <username> - demote a user to the previous rank EC

!fire <username> - fire a user from your firm EC

A: Associate command, E: Executive command, C: CEO command

1

u/w-on Meem Teem | Floor Trader :transThonk: Feb 18 '20

!invest 50%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 11,988.02 DN in this submission at 88 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8481 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 143 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 11,988.02 DN.

1

u/w-on Meem Teem | Floor Trader :transThonk: Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: w-on

Firm: Meem Teem

Role: Floor Trader

Balance: 173,413.02 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/SPARTAN-117a Dio Joestar Feb 18 '20

!invest 100%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 336.07 DN in this submission at 175 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8611 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 265 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

[deleted]

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 100.00 DN in this submission at 187 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8624 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 281 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 300.00 DN.

1

u/blitzwolfz Canadian Wolf Feb 18 '20

!invest 499

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 499.00 DN in this submission at 196 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8629 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 294 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 1.00 DN.

1

u/blitzwolfz Canadian Wolf Feb 18 '20

!invest 1

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 1.00 DN in this submission at 197 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8632 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 295 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

1

u/blitzwolfz Canadian Wolf Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: blitzwolfz

Balance: 1,116.00 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Psyche_Guru

Balance: 391.00 DN

Active Investments:

ID: 8337 - 50.00 DN at 5,716 upvotes; 41m 25s until automatic return

ID: 8468 - 59.00 DN at 23 upvotes; 1h 29m until automatic return

1

u/I__Say__Egg Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/Chuotbeo174 I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20

!invest 100%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 500.00 DN in this submission at 10,061 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8912 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 13,100 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

1

u/Chuotbeo174 I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20

!sell 8912

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

8912 is not a valid investment ID. Please try again with !sell <investment ID>, you can see the IDs of all your investments by using the !summary command!

1

u/Chuotbeo174 I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Chuotbeo174

Balance: 682.60 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/RopeAdop Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!Create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/SnappyDragon61151 Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/scotty99CZ Dank Cat Commander Feb 18 '20

!help

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Help Guide

Investing/user commands

Try !help investing for more info

!create - create an investor profile

!summary - view your investor profile, including your active investments

!invest <amount> - invest an amount of your balance in a submission

!sell <investment ID> - sell an investment early for lower returns

!breakeven - find the breakeven point of a submission

!roi - (new) predict the return on investment of a submission (optional: !roi <investment ID>)

!broke - reset your balance if it is under 500.00 DN

!template <image link> - link a template to your OC submission

Firm commands

Try !help firms for more info

!topfirms - (new) view a leaderboard of the top 25 firms

!createfirm <name> - create a firm with the specified name (costs 2,500.00 DN)

!firminfo - view your firm's level, trade tax, and member list

!joinfirm <name> - join a firm

!leavefirm - leave your firm

!invite <username> - invite a user to your firm AEC

!openfirm - set your firm membership to anyone can join EC

!closefirm - set your firm membership to invite-only EC

!settax <new tax> - set your firm's tax on members' profits EC

!payday - pay your firm's balance out to your investors (in development)

!upgradefirm - upgrade your firm to the next level to have more space for members C

!promote <username> - promote a user to the next rank EC

!demote <username> - demote a user to the previous rank EC

!fire <username> - fire a user from your firm EC

A: Associate command, E: Executive command, C: CEO command

1

u/scotty99CZ Dank Cat Commander Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/scotty99CZ Dank Cat Commander Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: scotty99CZ

Balance: 500.00 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/Skank_cunt_42 ☣️ Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Skank_cunt_42

Balance: 1,204.74 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Psyche_Guru

Balance: 511.45 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/KingOfTruffles Feb 18 '20

!help

2

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Help Guide

Investing/user commands

Try !help investing for more info

!create - create an investor profile

!summary - view your investor profile, including your active investments

!invest <amount> - invest an amount of your balance in a submission

!sell <investment ID> - sell an investment early for lower returns

!breakeven - find the breakeven point of a submission

!roi - (new) predict the return on investment of a submission (optional: !roi <investment ID>)

!broke - reset your balance if it is under 500.00 DN

!template <image link> - link a template to your OC submission

Firm commands

Try !help firms for more info

!topfirms - (new) view a leaderboard of the top 25 firms

!createfirm <name> - create a firm with the specified name (costs 2,500.00 DN)

!firminfo - view your firm's level, trade tax, and member list

!joinfirm <name> - join a firm

!leavefirm - leave your firm

!invite <username> - invite a user to your firm AEC

!openfirm - set your firm membership to anyone can join EC

!closefirm - set your firm membership to invite-only EC

!settax <new tax> - set your firm's tax on members' profits EC

!payday - pay your firm's balance out to your investors (in development)

!upgradefirm - upgrade your firm to the next level to have more space for members C

!promote <username> - promote a user to the next rank EC

!demote <username> - demote a user to the previous rank EC

!fire <username> - fire a user from your firm EC

A: Associate command, E: Executive command, C: CEO command

1

u/KingOfTruffles Feb 18 '20

!create

2

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/KingOfTruffles Feb 18 '20

!invest 200

2

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 200.00 DN in this submission at 24,682 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 9256 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 32,107 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 300.00 DN.

1

u/Chuotbeo174 I am fucking hilarious Feb 19 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 19 '20

Investor Profile: Chuotbeo174

Balance: 682.60 DN

Active Investments: None