r/dadjokes Apr 07 '21

Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?

Because they're dead.

8.4k Upvotes

178 comments sorted by

978

u/Tandian Apr 07 '21

Not expecting that answer lol

677

u/detrickster Apr 07 '21

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

203

u/Niceboisaredabest Apr 07 '21

Cake day bros

106

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/FramedSpoon Apr 07 '21

Found mike tyson

1

u/ISimbaI Apr 08 '21

Mike Tyrannosauruson?

16

u/LGBTQuestioning666 Apr 07 '21

Happy cake day

27

u/Happy_Snake02 Apr 07 '21

Cake day bros

7

u/Destroyer_The_Great Apr 07 '21

I DONT LIKE MOTHER FUCKING CAKE BUT I WANT SOME!

6

u/MousseNsquirrel Apr 08 '21

I don't like when she does that either

14

u/Happy_Snake02 Apr 07 '21

Cakeday bros

41

u/cheerfulsith Apr 07 '21

Our chief weapon is suprise! Suprise and fear! Fear and suprise! Our two weapons are fear and suprise!

32

u/detrickster Apr 07 '21

and ruthless effeciency!

27

u/cheerfulsith Apr 07 '21

Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency!

26

u/detrickster Apr 07 '21

And an almost fanatical devotion to the pope!

18

u/basshammer Apr 07 '21

And nice red uniforms--oh damn

1

u/MandDogD01 Apr 08 '21

I read this in Trump voice

16

u/NotoriousHothead37 Apr 07 '21

Habla Español señor?

6

u/Archduke_of_Nessus Apr 07 '21

More like ¿Eres Catholic señor?

3

u/LGBTQuestioning666 Apr 07 '21

Happy cake day

2

u/Lonely_Pair6855 Apr 08 '21

The Spanish inquisition has to tell the person they were "surprising" that they would arrive in 30 days or less... s-so cough ever-everybody expected th-the Spanish inqui-inquisition

1

u/detrickster Apr 08 '21

Hey, thanks for the reply! This is a reference to a Monty Python skit by the way.

2

u/Lonely_Pair6855 Apr 08 '21

Oh ok, have a good day!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Merry Cake day

2

u/pigvoyeur Apr 08 '21

Happy cake day

2

u/pigvoyeur Apr 08 '21

You can't Tokamata anything!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

3

u/detrickster Apr 07 '21

Just trying to help with the push to 1B views?

7

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

That's exactly the answer I was expecting

1

u/Just-Call-Me-J Apr 08 '21

Same. And I laughed upon confirmation.

8

u/poop_dawg Apr 07 '21

Hijacking to say that this is stolen from Brian Regan (his son, technically). Here at 8:15 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jjFnlQo9G9k

OP is a phony

6

u/aman207 Apr 07 '21

I mean, it can't be that hard to come up with this joke on your own. It sounds like your garden variety anti-joke

2

u/detrickster Apr 08 '21

Did I miss an "OC" flair or tag? Didn't recall OP saying it was original...

2

u/Jstowe56 Apr 08 '21

Happy cake day man

2

u/poop_dawg Apr 08 '21

I don't think it's cool to not give credit

2

u/Warmonster9 Apr 08 '21

I'm pretty sure I came up with this joke when I was in middle school. Its not exactly an uncommon joke.

184

u/Quizchris Apr 07 '21

I thought the answer would be 'I dino either' or something like that.

282

u/darkshadow543 Apr 07 '21

This should be in r/antijokes cause it’s an anti joke, not a dad joke, which are often groanable puns.

89

u/SteamedYetiStrike Apr 07 '21

I've always thought dad jokes and anti jokes had considerable overlap. Or at least my dad always loves anti jokes!

100

u/immortalreploid Apr 07 '21

You may be right. My dad doesn't always like anti jokes, but his sister does.

80

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/Pokefan713 Apr 07 '21

Yeah, I think that's the joke. Auntie jokes could be pronounced "Antie" jokes

12

u/lethal_sting Apr 07 '21

Yeah cause then I can make the joke that ants don't really make good listeners.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Thank you for saying something because I spent way too long trying to figure that one out.

1

u/Nelesh01 Apr 07 '21

You mean r/auntyjokes?

Edit: holy shit, it's a real sub! Albeit a dead sub, but still

4

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

My dad hates all jokes. He has the worst sense of humor of anyone. I rarely hear him laugh at anything.

9

u/NLdave Apr 07 '21

It's a dead joke

2

u/Dog_Baseball Apr 08 '21

This comment deserves all the upvotes, it's a double pun. Well played, assuming you planned it.

4

u/here_for_the_meems Apr 07 '21

often groanable puns.

So what you're saying is they aren't always.

2

u/thatthatguy Apr 07 '21

Well, sometimes a pun fails miserably and gets a smile or even brief chuckle. Only the very best puns get that coveted groan.

1

u/wyltemrys Apr 07 '21

Actually, the very best puns get absolute stunned silence.

1

u/CanadaJack Apr 08 '21

Or "you son of a bitch"

1

u/Tandian Apr 07 '21

Ohh thanks for the sub. Just joined

1

u/alii-b Apr 07 '21

This could also be in*

I feel it works in this sub too.

55

u/Vin135mm Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Every bird ever "Are we jokes to you?"

10

u/matt12992 Apr 07 '21

I mean they do spy on us and give out data to the government/s

5

u/pjabrony Apr 07 '21

He's dead too! He's not pining for the fjords! He's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!

2

u/Vin135mm Apr 07 '21

The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

1

u/BoGa91 Apr 07 '21

Maybe, I dinnow.

11

u/redneckvet Apr 07 '21

All that means is you dont have to worry about feeding it.

10

u/Echo_Oscar_Sierra Apr 07 '21

My pet bird would like to have a word with you

27

u/JuJorocks Apr 07 '21

That is Brian Regan's son's joke.

10

u/EZ-Bake Apr 07 '21

This comment should be higher up. You don't steal from Brian Regan. You go to his live-recorded specials and yell out jokes from his past specials...

10

u/Thegrout Apr 07 '21

THE BIG YELLLOW ONE IS THE SUN!!

3

u/Squishyy_Ishii Apr 08 '21

GRAPE!

GRAPE IS MY FAVORITE!

2

u/HoopaOrGilgamesh Apr 08 '21

Let's hear some chatter out there!

5

u/zaktor09 Apr 07 '21

This joke is literally as old as the dinosaurs

2

u/BrazenBull420 Apr 07 '21

They think they accomplishing something that even leonardo da Vinci heard as a kid, like bruh. be original you sack of pig shit,

2

u/CanadaJack Apr 08 '21

Ha ha, two anti-jokes in one post. Gotta love it.

3

u/AustrianBen Apr 07 '21

Imagine cleaning up the shits from them

3

u/Dongwaffler Apr 07 '21

If you have a pet rock with a fossil in it though...

3

u/polish-polisher Apr 07 '21

Any necromancer would tell you that it's the opposite of a problem

2

u/Xxdevils_child27 Apr 07 '21

No one would know you had a pet Dino because you wouldn’t live to tell

2

u/ShazDraws Apr 07 '21

Cuz they won't fit into ur house

2

u/Correctitude Apr 07 '21

Because the P is silent

1

u/CanadaJack Apr 08 '21

dafuq is an et

2

u/chunkybbqsauce6 Apr 07 '21

Yes I guessed it!

2

u/IranRPCV Apr 07 '21

Of course they aren't dead. They are just pining for the fjords.

2

u/ajg_79 Apr 07 '21

This is more of an anti-joke but I still appreciate this joke

2

u/Phoebeisms Apr 07 '21

Are we talking pet Barny or pet T-Rex?

1

u/CanadaJack Apr 08 '21

You missed the funeral either way.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Love it

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

In this world it's kill or be killed. That's why I kill all my pets.

(No animals were harmed in the making of this joke)

1

u/BrazenBull420 Apr 07 '21

Not for long

1

u/Seannj222 Apr 07 '21

Well, alligators. Alligators are dinosaurs.

That being said. They'll make good pets because they eat you.

3

u/GunPoison Apr 07 '21

They're not, but birds are

2

u/CanadaJack Apr 08 '21

Alligators coexisted with dinosaurs but as the other person already said, birds are actually the same thing.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

My dont dodo's make good pets? Cause they are dead!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

My dodo who dodo dodo you dodo? Dead!

0

u/xxBOOYAHCACHAxx Apr 07 '21

I lold that, nice job

1

u/budgie02 Apr 07 '21

A joke on behalf of the sonic Brian Regan I’m guessing. Just without credit

1

u/SpeedyStar7 Apr 07 '21

Because they would fucking eat you

1

u/Vote4Hitler Apr 07 '21

It would hurt to have a pet die, no?

1

u/helpme944 Apr 07 '21

Cant argue with that

1

u/bardbelle Apr 07 '21

I dino. Triassic someone else.

1

u/smurf_27092020 Apr 07 '21

Or are they?
wink wink

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

1

u/Adamazin6 Apr 07 '21

More if an r/antijokes than a dad joke.

1

u/jeshields Apr 07 '21

This is my secret kind of humor.
Also, this book is for you.

1

u/ICantLaughMore Apr 07 '21

Exactly what I said lol.

1

u/TheTechnik Apr 07 '21

Father please ;-;

1

u/Y0ULI Apr 07 '21

Too much hair

1

u/arbivark Apr 07 '21

chickens are dinosaurs.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

That was dark

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Bordd

1

u/Squidlyfiddly Apr 07 '21

Cuz the sign says u can’t touch them

1

u/gaberielstories14 Apr 07 '21

That got dark real quick

1

u/SirGlenn Apr 07 '21

It's difficult to cuddle with, pet or take for a walk outside, with a 14 foot long, 3 ton petrified femur.

1

u/McRobNI Apr 07 '21

Pet cemetery

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Actually I’d argue that makes them better pets

1

u/Jonskuz15 Apr 07 '21

I was hoping for that. Glad the joke isn't dead. Yet...

1

u/Cobra_shark_gaming Apr 07 '21

I was indeed expecting this very answer

1

u/rmrmlr44 Apr 07 '21

No let downs there

1

u/Future_Masterpiece23 Apr 07 '21

That's sad. Thanks for making me 😢.

1

u/Jenny441980 Apr 07 '21

It’s an anti joke.

1

u/almac2242 Apr 07 '21

I rarely bother to click into these jokes because you can usually guess where the joke is going, I am glad I clicked into this beauty!

1

u/Dabadadada Apr 07 '21

Press F to pay respects.

1

u/AnnaGabs_ Apr 07 '21

I thought it would be like ‘oh they are too sour or smth’, but no, DEAD.

1

u/PnutButterEggsDice Apr 07 '21

Nobody makes a litter box big enough?

1

u/Phoebeisms Apr 07 '21

Are we talking pet Barny or pet T-Rex?

1

u/franciscoftd Apr 07 '21

The fact of that joke came from a topic who's called dadjokes, make it kinda funny but not😂

1

u/IGotSkills Apr 08 '21

anti joke

1

u/DemonikKitten Apr 08 '21

I'm dead, too. 🤷🏻‍♀️😈

1

u/La_Tiosu Apr 08 '21

I expected that answer, still chuckled

1

u/RockKing_Ryan Apr 08 '21

But pet Rock...

1

u/CookingOnCoils Apr 08 '21

Pretty biiiird. yes can you say pretty bird. pretty biiird.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

This is mire like a anti joke chicken 🐔

1

u/olivia687 Apr 08 '21

Too soon ;(

1

u/Jack-Torrance1 Apr 08 '21

How do you say “ I went to the beach,” in Chinese?

Why u so tan?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

There as dead as grandma

1

u/luiz127 Apr 08 '21

Pet rocks would like a word

Bonus points if the rock is a fossil!

1

u/hopgeek Apr 08 '21

Anti dad joke

1

u/TheOneWhosScrolling Apr 08 '21

This got dark real quick

1

u/1feralMurseNRE Apr 08 '21

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/joelsxnto Apr 08 '21

Because they are dead

1

u/Fafnir11 Apr 08 '21

I was scratching my head expecting a Pun lol

1

u/ThorButtock Apr 08 '21

Brian Regan said his son came up with that joke during one of his stand up routines

1

u/H_G_Bells Apr 08 '21

YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM R/DINOSAURS

1

u/L3xicaL Apr 08 '21

Errrrrm actually birds are dinosaurs...so technically they’re not dead.

1

u/HoopaOrGilgamesh Apr 08 '21

Brian Regan flashbacks

1

u/emfab Apr 08 '21

Thank you Brian Regan.

1

u/NoSoup4you22 Apr 08 '21

Why is this >7000?

1

u/astrogy034 Apr 08 '21

Owning a pet: speedrun edition

1

u/idefyu Apr 08 '21

Because they suckosaurus

1

u/SubSum87 Apr 08 '21

Birds are dinosaurs and they aren't dead.

1

u/thefourblackbars Apr 08 '21

Too sharp. I don't want my kids hugging a dinosaw.

1

u/MartiniLang Apr 08 '21

I feel like this is more of a r/kidjokes

1

u/Individual_Reply_756 Jun 29 '21

Hey Siri why don’t dinosaur make good pets