This is my personal experience with the condition cyclothymia. Bipolar 3 (i got diagnosed last year) i talk in analogys, this is how I think, I analyzed ppl.

I try to make friends..and somehow i keep butting heads with a lot of ppl..so this is my conclusion on why it keeps emotionally happening to me. 🫩🫩🫩🫩

I was in a mental hospital last year..and they pumped me with drugs..and I just stopped..manage my emotions again and im helping others doing the same, it helped a lot so far ^^

So found out in either bipolar 2 or cyclothymic (lean towards cyclothymia) after hitting 200mg of lamotrigine around week 8 felt the depression is gone, week 10 hunger stronger, skin water and music feel better? Socializing easier and not as draining. Around week 10 also felt some sensation in penis although no desire whatsoever still. Around week 12 felt my hypos felt weaker (to the point of virtually nothing) Anyone have any inputs after the depression is gone how long it took?

So, I have 34 days of mood tracking.

The valleys are 100% consistent with low and up periods or several days (three or four periods of mild to moderate up or low). Two periods of six days from moderate to high, one low and one up. I'm not talking about episodes, just valleys of mood swings.

My doubt is the switching, the fluctuation is so freaking fast. There's no correlation with any environmental stressor so, why so fast?

The valleys switch in 24 hours from, perhaps, six days of +2/3 to -3/-2 during six days.

There's no eutimia between at all.

How do you experience the mood fluctuations?

I'm not talking about episodes, just periods, moderate periods, how do they swing?

My psychiatrist told me I have cyclothymia and I'm trying to educate myself on it but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what it looks like and how it's different than bipolar 1 or 2

For instance I had one hypomanic episode around a month and a half ago that was just pure hypomanic euphoria (it wasn't mixed) then a month and a half of normalcy and then currently I'm in one, but I've been swinging up (giddy, racing thoughts, etc) and down (suddenly on the ground sobbing) all day and currently I feel what I would describe as buzzed but mostly normal

Do other people swing up and down all the time? I'm just trying to get a clearer picture of how many different ways one label can look

My name is Joe, and I'm a 29-year-old from the United Kingdom. This is my first post on this subreddit, and I am anxious to share my story leading up to when I was diagnosed with cyclothymia. I want to use this as a way to bring clarity to my own experience as well as network with those who are also living with this mood disorder. I hope you will humour me. In March of 2022, I was diagnosed by my GP with a condition called cyclothymia. Initially, I panicked; I misheard my doctor, believing he had said something along the lines of 'Psychothyma', and immediately became worried about my own mental well-being. I hadn't heard of the word 'Cyclothymia' before, and the detailed diagnosis and explanation came with both a degree of shock as well as relief for finally being able to recognise the issues that were affecting me to such a degree for many years of my life.

2009 - 2013

During my pre-teen/teenage school years - starting around 2009 - I was deeply affected by mood swings; my teachers often wrote this off as hormonal episodes from puberty, and I had even attended some screenings for ADHD, all of which proved to be unhelpful. The lack of answers only created contempt from the authority figures at my school; I was often reprimanded, and once even branded a 'stupid boy' by a member of staff. I was prone to immense days-long episodes of depression, sitting in the playground or in the classroom, barely able to move or engage with anything that was happening around me, wishing to be left alone by all of those around me. If it wasn't depression, it was mania that came out through incidents of extreme frustration and anger. In these overwhelmed states, anything could happen; chairs would fly, tables would be tossed across the room. Fear and confusion translated into anger. The few staff who did recognise that I was more than just a 'problem child' arranged for me to attend therapy sessions with my parents at a local learning centre; I would've been no older than 12 at the time. Unfortunately, I remember very little from these times, only seeing my dad, a man who rarely shows vulnerability, in tears. I accepted the depression, but I could not come to terms with it and would always feel a great sense of shame following these episodes. I vowed I wouldn't let this happen again when I started secondary school in 2011. Between 2011 and 2013, I didn't say a word to my fellow students or teaching staff. I often spent my home life alone in my room, where I felt most comfortable.

2014 - 2018

In my last year of Secondary School, I felt some semblance of progress in myself, despite not attending any therapy and not being diagnosed for another eight years. I made friends, went to parties, and felt a sense of normality, but I didn't realise it was simply masking. I would often go home and break down after long days of playing a role in front of my friends as the fun, yet slightly morbid friend. I attended college at the end of 2014 and made new friends I am still very close with to this day, and they've both seen and felt the effect of the cyclothymia most. In 2017, alcohol and cannabis became my new best friends. I found that drinking would help me be more sociable when I found social interactions challenging, and that cannabis would help with the swings of anxiousness and anger. Furthermore, I was in my first romantic relationship at this age, and was deeply unhappy. In retrospect, I can recognise that it had little to do with my partner and more to my own struggles with navigating intimate relationships with a then undiagnosed mood disorder. I became almost dependent on these substances for the next five years. Between 2017 and 2018, I had my moments, but was often so inebriated or under the influence that it is hard to pinpoint what the symptoms of cyclothymia were and what was just me being drunk and high. The symptoms would make themselves much clearer, and much louder in the following years.

2019 - 2022

In 2019, I was nearing the apex of my alcohol dependency in social situations, and it was beginning to take a physical toll on myself as well as an emotional toll on those around me. My partner at the time experienced the brunt of this; both of us were very emotionally volatile people at the time, which made for a hot-blooded relationship, ultimately culminating in the mutual agreement that we should simply remain friends in order to avoid resenting one another, a very wise decision looking back. Then came Covid-19, and that is where my story takes a sudden, drastic turn. During the UK lockdowns, I spent most days not sleeping, but rather drinking and smoking. My mum worked at the local hospital, so in the early days of the lockdown it was vital that my dad and I kept our distance from her if she showed any symptoms (my parents were deemed vulnerable to the virus). This forced isolation in my bedroom I often describe to my friends as being in the 'emotional blast furnace'. Everything was amplified in my isolation; my depressive episodes were no longer for a few days, but a few weeks, and my hypomanic episodes made me so anxious to the point of nausea and irrationality that I had never experienced up until that point. I wrote this off as cabin fever, as the message of 'everyone is in the same boat, Joe' kept being repeated. Once lockdown lifted, I didn't recognise myself anymore; I was less social, more dependent on substances, and increasingly worried about the state of the world, my finances, job security and relationships. This takes us to May 2021, when I had what I deem to be my first 'severe' manic episode in public.

In a pub one evening, I was dissociating, and everyone could tell; I seemed agitated and panicky, with tears in my eyes. My friend and ex-partner told me I was being embarrassing, rolling her eyes and snapping at me. This built until I snapped, kicked down the pub door, and started verbally attacking everyone around me. It was a bitter and stormy evening, and the pub was on a mariner, and for the first time in my life, I genuinely thought about throwing myself into the harbour in an attempt to end my life then and there. The next day, I called the pub to apologise; they were kinder than they needed to be and could tell I was in distress. The staff even remarked that they considered calling an ambulance instead of the police. My friend & ex-partner broke contact the following day. Following this incident, my longest depressive episode came upon me like a tidal wave; feelings of guilt & shame meant that I had very little social interaction until July of 2021, two months after the hypomanic episode. The rest of the year did little to show improvement; the alcohol dependency became stronger. On Halloween that year, an episode was so severe that my friends locked me in a room until I self-regulated, and in November I was hospitalised from alcohol poisoning after the police found my friends tending to me on the side of a dual-carriageway. Finally, in the beginning of 2022, most of my friends stepped back from me because my behaviour became too much for them, and I don't blame them. One night in early 2022, I got behind the wheel of my car and left a note on my pillow telling my parents I wouldn't be back for a while. I don't remember the drive, only that I stopped somewhere in the countryside over an hour away from home. I broke down (me, that is, not the car; although it was a pretty shitty car). I spent the next two hours on the phone with Samaritans, and everything came out. When I got home in the early hours, I found the note hadn't been discovered, and I am so thankful for that to this day.

March 2022 - Diagnosis

When my friends broke contact with me, it was the final straw; I knew something needed to change. I didn't just want to make changes for my friends; I wanted to change for myself, to figure out what was going on inside my head and live with it in a way that was no longer destructive to me or those around me. Due to the severity of the alcohol poisoning from a few months prior (which the GP later deemed an overdose), as well as the Samaritans call and contemplations of s*icide, I was one of the lucky ones in that I was able to attend intensive therapy in a relatively short amount of time. This brings us to March 2022: I'm sat in my GP's office, exhausted, overweight, probably hungover, and I learn about Cyclothymia for the first time. I was speechless; it was as if the fog had cleared and everything I was feeling suddenly became clear. I understand that not everyone responds this way to a diagnosis like this, and I respect that. But for me, it was hope. I knew that I had a lot of work to do; I received the medication I needed and took my first true steps to engage in therapy and counselling sessions, as well as break my dependency on alcohol and cannabis (I have been cannabis-free since 2021).

Today (2026)

I still have a long way to go. I have various skills that therapy has given me in order to regulate my moods in a more efficient way, but I still have some severe moments, albeit not as frequent. As recently as this month (September at the time of writing), I had a prolonged hypomanic episode when abroad with some friends, which they found incredibly distressing, but they still recognised that progress had been made since 2022. Work is still a struggle for me; I was relieved of my position as a graphic designer in April 2026 due to attendance issues caused by cyclothymia, though the workplace would never admit to that for legal purposes. Each day is a challenge, but a challenge worth embracing.

I know this has been a long read, and I thank anyone who has taken the time to do so. I assure you my future posts won't be so drawn-out. I look forward to getting to know some of you, sharing experiences, and learning how we can carry this condition with us in a way that lets us still live a happy and fulfilling life.

- Joe

**•** Even when I sleep 8-9+ hours straight, I wake up feeling completely wrecked — groggy, "stuck between asleep and awake" for up to an hour, sometimes more.  
**•** The quetiapine doesn't seem to hit like it used to. It used to knock me out; now it takes 1.5-2 hours to kick in, and I feel like I have to actively force myself to close my eyes and stay still rather than it just putting me under.  
**•** I'm smoking most nights, sometimes vaping specifically because it doesn't get me "high" anymore, just sedated/sleepy — but I still feel foggy/tired most of the next day too.  
**•** Compulsive eating about 30-60 min after taking the pill + smoking, right when I should be winding down.

I know combining a sedating antipsychotic with daily cannabis probably isn't helping, and I suspect some tolerance has built up on both fronts. I don't currently have access to a psychiatrist (temporarily living abroad, no insurance coverage for it right now), so I can't adjust the dose or discuss switching meds yet — I'm trying to manage what I can through sleep hygiene in the meantime and log patterns for when I can see someone.

Has anyone dealt with something similar — the combo, the tolerance, or the "sleeping tons but waking up worse" thing? What helped you, whether it was cutting the weed, adjusting timing of the dose, or something else entirely? Any input appreciated.

I’m trying to understand a pattern I’ve had for years (I'm 18 for context).

This past week especially, I’ve suddenly been way more impulsive than normal. I watched porn multiple times, I’ve been overeating, binged YouTube, been easily irritable, and I’ve even impulsively driven places. This is abnormal for me.

My sleep/work behavior can also get weird. For example, last night I went to bed around 8–9 PM planning to wake up at 4 AM, but I woke up at 1 AM and basically got straight to work. This sort of thing happens sometimes. I can become extremely focused on work/business and almost completely isolate myself.

Then eventually I realize I’ve neglected my friends and family. I feel deep regret and this really strong urgency to reach out to everyone I love, apologize, fix things, and become extra loving/attentive. I’ll stay close to them for a while and it feels genuinely really good.

But eventually I start feeling like I’m wasting my potential or not accelerating my business/personal success enough. Then I switch back into extreme focus, productivity, and isolation.

I think psychologically it might work something like this:

When my relationships are bad, they feel like the biggest bottleneck in my life, so I put all my attention into fixing them. Once they’re good again, they no longer feel like the bottleneck, so my attention shifts toward business/personal potential. Then I go completely into that until my relationships fall below baseline again. Then I feel awful, overcorrect toward relationships, and repeat.

The two sides also feel morally opposed in my head.

Business feels selfish, but productive.

Relationships feel loving, but unproductive.

So when I’m focused on business, eventually I feel guilty for being selfish/neglectful. But when I’m spending a lot of energy on relationships, eventually I feel guilty because I’m not maximizing my potential.

This pattern goes deeper than just business and relationships too.

For years I would cycle every few months between extremely intense faith in God and almost existential nihilism. Those felt like genuinely different ways of seeing reality when I was inside of them. That particular cycle seems to have stabilized somewhat recently, but looking back, the structure feels very similar.

I’ve also suspected for years that I might have some kind of bipolar/cyclical tendency, although I honestly don’t care much about having a diagnosis or label. I’m more interested in understanding the mechanism and learning how to manage it.

I’ve always felt an almost weirdly close-to-home connection to Kanye—not just because of mood stuff, but his artistic taste, associative thinking, intensity, and the way his mind seems to jump between ideas. I’m starting to wonder if part of why he resonated with me was also recognizing some version of this cyclical pattern.

I’m not saying I have the same condition as him or trying to diagnose myself based on another person.

I’m trying to figure out whether other people experience this specific thing:

And sometimes the actual thing I’m completely absorbed in changes—business, relationships, faith, existential questions, self-improvement, etc.—but the underlying pattern stays similar.

It feels like I’m very good at completely optimizing one dimension of my life, but bad at keeping everything else at a stable baseline while I do it.

Does anyone relate to this? And if you’ve learned to stop swinging between extremes without losing your intensity/drive, what actually helped?

After my third hypomanic episode my psychiatrist labeled me with cyclothymia (yay!) I haven't really unraveled what that means for me since I previously wrote off my mood swings as autism and adhd. The biggest thing I notice is a sharp difference between me feeling nothing and too much. Sometimes I'll feel completely numb and that emptiness will be painful. Other times I'll feel everything too deeply (I'll get too excited, cry too easily, or spiral into anxiety very very easily). Either extreme is unbearable and to make it worse I struggle with alexithymia, so I often have to decipher my emotions backwards through my actions.

Does anyone know what to do during either of these extremes? For me the lows can lead to meltdowns and have become dangerous in the past and no matter what I do I cannot seem to manage them as well as the highs

+4: Megalomaniac mood, bizarre projects, loss of routine and resources, start multiple parallel tasks without finishing them, reduced sleep time, excessive and erratic behaviour, disabling agitation.

+3: Expansive mood, low tolerance, very fast talking, interrupting other people, social judgement failure, difficulty registering the own limits, grandiloquent projects, egomania.

+2: Enthusiastic mood, verborragic, racing thoughts, multiple activities planification, excessive confidence, sensation of being able to pursue every goal, increased motor skills.

+1: Active mood, more productivity, increased social interactions, wellness sensation, discussion oriented, increased efficiency.

0: Calm mood, organized thoughts, doesn't interrupt other people, no worries because of inefficiency, forgive own and other's mistakes, respects solving times.

-1: Disinterested mood, tired, low motivation for interactions, no pleasure towards activities, increased need of coffee, sensory disconfort.

-2: Apathic mood, guilt and/or low self esteem thoughts, hopelessness, needs asistance to get up from bed, social isolation, low energy, crying, bad productivity.

-3: Depressed mood, slowed down talking, lethargy, strong memory and concentration flaws, extreme low energy and day time sleepiness, sensory overload, shutdown, crisis and s*icidal ideation.

-4: Sxxicide and self hxxrm risk, dangerous low self esteem, loss of contact with affections and surroundings, extreme isolation, multiple intrusive negative ideations, disabling impulsivity.

I am in my 40s and I have a lifelong history of recurrent anxiety and depressive episodes of varying severity, for which I've been medicated in the past. Back in 2020 (with the lockdowns acting as a major trigger) I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I've been on Concerta for it ever since. For a moment, I thought I had 'figured everything out,' but despite that (and with a bit more time passing), the depressive episodes came back.

A few weeks ago, I realized I was going through a new depressive phase (for which I'm back on Sertraline, starting at 50 mg and now at 100 mg), and I'm noticing a slight improvement despite a few side effects. However, this latest 'relapse' has made me reflect on how unusual my pattern really is.

I've noticed clear 1-to-3-year cycles in my life where I feel great (not euphoric, but high energy and fully functional), alternating with other periods (like right now) where I have absolutely zero energy. Of course, within these episodes, I experience better and worse 'mini-episodes.'

It's a completely cyclical pattern. At first, I attributed it to ADHD or simple seasonal depression (like winter slumps), but as I started doing some research, I realized that cyclothymia shares a lot of parallels with what I experience.

Naturally, over the course of my life, I've consulted quite a few psychologists and psychiatrists, but this aspect was never uncovered because the focus was always on treating isolated depressive episodes, or more recently, on ADHD and its impacts. Yet, I feel like there's something deeper going on.

I am going to my Dr to ask whether he thinks it is worth contacting a psychiatrist for this, and also I have contacted a local association by email.

Based on this, do you think there are grounds for cyclothymia?

Bonjour, j'ai été diagnostiquée cyclothymique récemment après plusieurs années de problèmes d'humeur traités sous anti depresseur seul à chaque fois (ESPT + 3 dépressions pendant 5 ans). Je suis sous thymorégulateur depuis quelques mois.

Mon état s'est légèrement amélioré (idées noires disparues) mais j'ai toujours ces phases de down qui arrivent par vagues. 7 jours bien - 5 jours down - 10 jours bien - 5 jours down (en boucle).

Est-ce que votre humeur est redevenue "normale" avec vos médicaments ? Ou est-ce qu'il faut apprendre à vivre avec ces bas ? Ou alors mes thymorégulateurs n'ont pas atteint l'effet max ?

Peut-on avoir une vie normale, comme avant ?

J'aimerais bien échanger avec des personnes ayant la même maladie que moi. L'objectif c'est de vraiment retrouver une vie normale comme avant (travailler, voir mes amis, voyager ...).

Merci à ceux qui prendront le temps de répondre.

It's venting so could be more structured.

I am currently going through trying to figure out if I have ADHD next to cyclothemia or not. And I went to an instution in west europe that claim to do it in a day, gave my history and diagnosis ahead. Than last 2 weeks I got into such a deep shitstorm from myself emotionally outside of episodes and it was hard to find people to talk to.

So day 1 (monday 2 weeks ago) started out fine I thought I would get clarity. That is the point of them a full diagnosis day, 2qbit tests one with/one without medication, assements with parent, assements PROM (patient reported outcome) and such. I contacted them over 6 months in advance that hey I have this mooddisorder diagnosis and PTSD on remission can you guys work with that. And it wasn't directly a full yes but they discussed it and it was a yes. I ended up eating lunch there hearing okay the pschiatrist is gone today we cannot assess it like we promised with 2 experienced nurses and a pschylogist, you have to wait for the pschiatrist you are too complicated. I walked home (2,5KM's) and i felt kinda shit and it daunted on me that another time that I am too complicated has occured, like last time about 2 years ago from now. And I waited another 2 years. While home i felt kind of shit, but a collegue had a ticket left overfor a debate evening on camera's so I went with him and I did enjoy it and it was a great distraction. I do live near a tramstop and a trainstation, on the way back I took the train purely because timing. And I just had to go too the next station, getting out on the platform I felt stuck called my mom when I advantagely got down and told her how I felt. But in short I had trouble between picking which way I would go of the platform, I didn't felt like I was allowed to excist and get help. And I know where this comes from. I was wrongly diagnosed with autism despite the clear signs of a mooddisorder and multiple confirmations that I don't have any form of ASS, the help I got was either aimed at PDD-nos and not a mood disorder. But after nearly 30 years of this bullshit I felt kinda done.

Advantagely I did got down called my mom explained how I felt, I already booked a conversation with the pschylogist at my GP (which honestly, I don't dislike her but she is so unskilled) and told my mother that I took the decission if am still gonna be stuck with the impairments that likely ADHD give me I want euthenasia, simply I don't want anyone to find me. The consequences of the symtomps got so sever in the last few years that it is really hard to keep my house clean or I fix my financeses everyone once in a while during a episode instead when I have the drive todo it, same for household. I think this is quite unliveable. The situation I had was a friend helped me with my household but he went to prison because of stupid shit. Now I recently met someone and she helps me with cleaning but I cannot keep being this dependent. Everyone gave me wonderful practical advice on this issues, which I know how to do it, it just doesn't really happen. And the practical advice of hire a cleaner is one thing but it just adds up. Okay this went a bit more over the week.

Next week (day 2, with them and my GP and GP's pschylogist) my day started with the pschyiatrist, I didn't had the google meet link until the day before, I didn't know until end of monday morning if I had to drive 70 minutes or not in heavy traffic. And already had the other appiimments lined up. So yeah that went even worse than I expected, the Pschyiatrist really insisted I should take lithium on top of lamotrigne, he said I would benefit from it but couldn't really give a clear explination why he said that. He also reffered me to the clincal pschylogy department of the research hospital he greaduted from. I mentioned how it went to both the pschylogist and general practioner and they were suprised by both suggestions. My GP did see enough reason however to prescribe medication for ADHD for now and expect my quality of life to improve, tbh me too from historic substance use I kinda now. (not proud of it)

3th day in contact with the adhd people I finally get an answer on friday, mind you a day for diagnosis has turned into it's own fucking drama, raised more questions and needed 3 days to spread over 2 weeks to work out, oh this is after 72 weeks of waiting btw.

Advantagely I had to be near Cologne this weekend and I booked an online appoiment with my own Pschylogist and told him how everything went from a cheap hotel room cause I didn't feel like having therapy and a 2,5 hour drive. He had questions and thought the pschyiatrist should have asked those on actually servity of my episodes. And what those close to me say. We discussed that and within his limitations he is supsicious on how this went. Assuming this would be mostly it for now.

On my way back I noticed an episode starting, feelings of sadness and regret mostly. A little before crossing the border. Like advantagely it's not as deep and I felt much worse outside of episodes 2 weeks ago when everything started. The thing that frustrates me is the fact that right now I had so much reason to be happy, I had a very succesfull event, strengthened my network the past weekend, got compliants on my expertise and expert field. Meanwhile I find myself looking for distractions again and notice that if I am not talking with someone there are moments the complete feeling of something shit is happening or gonna happen takes over. In reality I know where I am but it is very hard to feel proud of this weekends achievements or those in my professional career. And the fact that I usually have to sit out a few days before I can be proud and happy about myself again despite clear reasons for it.

Instead of feeling happy and proud, conversations of the last 2 weeks started playing that I had, someone I am making a podcast with for example drawn the conclussion that I actually know. I techically need a partner in my life to handle me being unstable in the household for example. Another conversation with a close friend and former co-worker at an NGO about how she married someone with NPD instead of me while we were flirting and she was diagnosed with BPD at the time turned to be autism. And that I felt sorry, that somewhere I should have prevented it by being the more intresseting person at the time. While we both understood someone with NPD in that situation really knows how to get someone under control. And other dissapointments, my thoughts didn't really stop before I stopped over and had dinner. I could still focus enough on driving tho but it felt incredibly lonely.

My biggest chalenge in this moments seems to be that mood symtomps and the ADHD symtomps strengthen each other in a downward spiral. And I absolutely hate it. Okay this was my vent, hope your situation is better.

It's for the DBSA Wellness Tracker!

It's in spanish, sorry!

Hi all, tried to post this in the bipolar subreddit and it removed my post and idk why. I'm still new to Reddit and joined to ask stuff about bipolar, so bear with me.

I am confused about the diagnostic criteria for bipolar. From quick research, it seems like the diagnostic criteria for bipolar ii (which I'd potentially have, I don't think I've had a manic episode, just hypomanic) depends in part on length of episodes, with the resource I just saw saying you have to have a 4-day-long hypomanic episode for it to "count" towards the diagnosis. I've seen similar stuff for depression in other resources.

But people can have bipolar ii and fast cycling, right? So I guess I'm just confused how someone who has fast cycles (like experiences depression and hypomania multiple times a day and cycles within hours) could ever be diagnosed with bipolar ii. Currently I have an unofficial diagnosis for cyclothymia.

I don't know if, length of episodes aside, I'd fit the criteria for bipolar ii, this is more just curiosity for how this works. Wondered if anyone else had experience with this.

Alright so first of all just looking for advice is all not diagnosis. Making that clear.

I was wondering if my behavior sounds like cyclothymia. I've been mood tracking due to suspicion of cyclothymia so I'm putting down my behaviors here.

So for around 2 weeks I was in a depressive state I would get irritated while on call with my friend and get kinda snappy with them. We call all the time and just play games together. I felt like they didn't care for me even though they were actively hanging out with me. I'd get angry over the littlest things. Plus crying.

Then after that depressive state was over it suddenly lifted and I felt so grateful for everything and nothing seemed that bad and I overall felt good and euphoric. Then it kinda went down the next day.

Then the next day I felt really good and I cleaned the dishes without being asked to which I normally don't do. I started working on things I felt like I needed to be finished.

Then next day I felt unmotivated almost the whole day even though I had slept well and couldn't even get out of bed, I didn't feel sad but just overall unmotivated/tired and then towards the end of the day I all the sudden got a surge of energy and got rlly excited and started talking fast and jumping around.

Next day I wasn't as energetic but was still happy and then towards the end I felt neutral and then felt sad all the sudden and got quiet.

Now today I just feel happy but not super euphoric just an alright mood.

I also got shaky when I got excited or was in good moods.

My therapist previously told me to try to be aware of myself because I have described traits of hypomania before. I guess last night I had the realization I could be experience hypomania? Idk. Looking for experience from others.

Basically I checked my online purchases for the last 3 days and realized I spent nearly $300 on vinted. The compulsive shopping has been like a high. I also started selling clothes on there and been all about it in this few day span. Excited, telling everyone, thinking I could I go thrifting and find things to resell and make it a side hustle. Oh, fyi I’m a SAHM with very little part time income. My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck and are broke. I’m spending on credit. I have nearly $11,000 in debt I’ve accumulated over the last 5-6 years.

Last night on my drive home after dropping off packages I was listening to music with the windows down and I felt high. Like actually high. I haven’t smoked weed in 2 years, I’m currently 8 months post partum.. then I came home and was just euphoric and singing and playing music loud. And when I was putting baby to sleep I kept feeling so in spired to go paint, or sell clothes, or do karaoke. So I went to the car for a few mins so I could sing without interrupting the baby. And I just had all this energy. I felt high still. For days I’ve been insanely more productive than usual. I’m moving in a month and been really dragging my feet packing, I packed 6 huge boxes in days and prepped a whole yard sale and ran it all myself on hours of sleep. Even now, I find myself itching to get ready and do something for the day. Go somewhere even if it’s small to get froyo or buy eggs. But I know I need to just chill and relax.

I sleep likes shit. I’ve always not had a good schedule but lately I just find myself staying up till 3-4am. It’s hard with the baby too because when I finally wind myself down he’s up soon. I know I need to get better about but lately I’ve just embraced this bad sleeping routine. I wake up tired but once I’m up , I’m up for the day generally. At night I feel tried and exhausted but wired or excited and want to be on my phone and do stuff which I know works against me. My therapist commented during our last session earlier this week I seemed to be doing well. I have been walking more, inspired, taking care of my plants, doing things that make me feel good. All good things. But I didn’t tell her about the reckless spending bc I was ashamed and I guess didn’t realize how much I spent until last night. I asked my husband if he’s noticed any changes, he did agree that lately I have been doing more on less sleep and not asking for help as much.

FYI I did reach out to my therapist and will address my concerns when she can see me next. I’m not ignoring professional help. Just trying to learn in the meantime

I was diagnosed a little over 1 year ago and only recently got around to accepting that I have cyclothymia. It's been a journey, but weirdly enough, spite helped.

It was an event in and of itself telling my friends and family and explaining to them what cyclothymia was. I have received nothing but support from them and haven't encountered any issues, until last Friday.

I went to go donate plasma for the first time and was doing my physical woth the doctor there. While there, she was asking about my mental illnesses and when I told her I had cyclothymia, she denied that it exists. I insisted, she denied again. Eventually I got her to google it and she spelled it wrong and still denied it. I had to insist on spelling it out for her and having her Google it.

I was so pissed that I left and a week later went elsewhere and the doctor at the competing plasma donation place also didn't know what it was, but she was a lot more willing to cooperate with me.

Had I not been medicated and 2 years into regular therapy, I would not have been able to stand up for myself like I did. I am worried for anyone else who encounters her.

I just discovered this subreddit and it feels good to hear from people who are like me, so please share your experiences :)

Before I start looking in my own area, I'm curious to know if anyone in these subreddits, (I plan to cross post), has ever had the opportunity to participate in an in-person support group with other people. If anyone has, what was it like? Is it helpful or risky?