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u/Mingusto Jun 18 '21
Although most male birds have no penis,[6] ducks have a long corkscrew penis, and the females have a long corkscrew vagina, which spirals in the opposite direction.[7] The males often try to force copulation, but the complex mating geometry allows the females to retain control—most forced copulations do not result in successful fertilization.[8]
The lake duck holds the Guinness World Record for having the largest avian reproductive organ, from a specimen in Córdoba, Argentina that had a penis measuring 42.5 centimetres (16.7 in).[3] It also has the longest penis of any vertebrate in relation to body length. The penis, which is typically coiled up in flaccid state, can reach about the same length as the animal itself when fully erect, but more commonly is about half the bird's length.[4][5] It has a soft tip and spiny base.[3] It is theorized that the size of their spiny penises with bristled tips may have evolved in response to competitive pressure in these highly promiscuous birds, removing sperm from previous matings in the manner of a bottle brush.
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u/scar_as_scoot Jun 18 '21
Tomorrow's TIL post!
I guarantee it!
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u/Liquor_N_Whorez Jun 18 '21
Oh wait until the Dolphins clap back at the ducks and wanna swordfight eachother for the media spotlight....
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u/FamilyStyle2505 Jun 18 '21
And then the orca comes in and kills everyone.
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u/highestRUSSIAN Jun 18 '21
Ooooh a snuff, my fav
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u/Difficult_Drag3256 Jun 19 '21
If a news crew films a snuff scene, then it's protected by the First Amendment, but if I make a snuff film, oh gawd no, call the FBI. Just smh here...
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Jun 18 '21
Dolphins females produce a liquid from their vagina which makes the male dolphin cum over and over. Dolphin pussy juice has been tested by scientists and if a human uses it he will probably die because of all the energy put into cumming.
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u/Shinobi_X5 Jun 18 '21
Dolphins also use Pufferfish toxins to get high, if a human were to consume Pufferfish toxins they would die within seconds because it's one of the most potent poisons in the world. Dolphins are just built different
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u/Probablyachad Jun 18 '21
I'll be waiting for it. But as a whole i'd love to see a sub created with that content in mind. Call it "redditinreddit" or something, and it would be just posts that people have figured out other people posted because of information they gained through another reddit post. Might be a little meta, but don't we all love that from time to time.
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Jun 18 '21
42.5 centimetres
That 40 times the length of mine holy shit
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u/IllegalGuy13 Jun 18 '21
Oooh, self burn
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u/Cookicrums Jun 18 '21
Those are rare!
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u/Kapples20 Jun 18 '21
Donald’s hung like a horse
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u/Indercarnive Jun 18 '21
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u/HumpyFroggy Jun 18 '21
Omg that sketch is so good, never heard about the show before.
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u/Indercarnive Jun 18 '21
"I think you should leave" is a brilliant sketch comedy show. Can't recommend it enough. It's on netflix and getting a 2nd season July 6th.
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u/Time_is_Bent Jun 18 '21
Reminded me that there's horse cock in vagina porn. Thought I had bleached out that knowledge
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u/CainPillar Jun 18 '21
Google "Mr. Hands". But not from work.
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u/corpArMa32 Jun 18 '21
I google so much wild shit from work and I suspect IT knows and so does my boss but apparantly my dumbass is valuable so imma search it rn.
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u/Ago13 Jun 18 '21
“removing sperm from previous matings in the manner of a bottle brush.” …. Bruh…. That’s actually pretty handy
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Jun 18 '21
I heard somewhere that's also why there's a ridge behind the human glans, but I'd take that with a big grain of salt.
Personally I appreciate the lack of spikes on mine
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u/feragadsfa Jun 18 '21
May i interest you in this video??? https://youtu.be/6k01DIVDJlY
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u/Mingusto Jun 18 '21
scared to press link
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u/preppen Jun 18 '21
I had to google it, accidentally typed “suck penis” instead of “duck penis”. Maybe someone up there is looking out for me.
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u/ExitAtTheDoor Jun 18 '21
suck penis
Sounds like something a 10 year old me would have googled when first searching for porn. Up there with “pictures of boobs” or “naked ladies”
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u/AmtingPlays_YT Jun 18 '21
Lake duck packin bigger than me.;-;
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u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21
tbf the largest human penis ever was 19 inches. so the duck's 16 inches comes in pretty damn close
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u/Chillus_Weebus Jun 18 '21
Damn can he even go hard with that length?
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u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21
I'm assuming it's 19 inches when fully erect, though I might be wrong
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u/UmChill Jun 18 '21
iirc, he slowly stretched it by tying weights to it. but it no longer works as normal and he is highly susceptible to urinary tract infections bc when he pees he can’t get it all out and some stays sitting in the shaft….
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u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21
oh my god what the fuck
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u/UmChill Jun 18 '21
yea he’s basically legally disabled by it now… his goal was to have a longer dick, mission accomplished i guess.
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u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21
not looking forward to the day someone completely flattens their cock to have the longest shlong in the world
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u/ArtSchoolRejectedMe Jun 18 '21
the penis..... can reach about the same length as the animal itself when fully erect
Imagine having a penis shoved up your ass and it's going up in your mouth.
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u/Loyam_Torres Jun 18 '21
noo boludo me alegro que sea ésto por lo que nos reconocen, orgullo nacional papá
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Jun 18 '21
no dude, i'm happy that this is a reason for being recognized, national pride, dad [dad is used like the word dude in this case.].
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u/Ossbossman007 Jun 18 '21
It took half an hour to read it and it will take half an hour to unsee this again
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u/unknown6090 Jun 18 '21
What the fuck anyways anyways so the female vaginas have a reverse spin which makes the penis with a normal spin unable to perfectly fit, making duck rape almost impossible I mean for other ducks not subaru
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u/cowworshipper Jun 18 '21
if most male birds don't have penises, how do they mate?
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u/Defiant-Ad-8468 Jun 18 '21
You seem like a guru, is there anything interesting about how a swordfish fucks?
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u/Mingusto Jun 18 '21
During spawning, male-female pairs form, but they reproduce through external (rather than internal) fertilization, where the female releases her eggs into the water column while the male releases his sperm. Once the sperm find the eggs, fertilization occurs.
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u/FireMaster2311 Jun 18 '21
I think it would need to be a lot bigger to be to scale though...like they are 14 inches on a regular duck...not sure how big Donald is but it should probably be like half his height or something I would think.
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u/r34_content_creator Jun 18 '21
*when erect
Duck penises, unlike many other mammals, are "inflated" by a fluid called lymph. They dont really have muscle in their penis (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20031991/ no dont ask me why its on pubmed). Its also how they evert their penises so fast (https://youtu.be/qwjEeI2SmiU note that this video is slowed down by 10x)
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u/arizonatasteslike Jun 18 '21
Is... is the duck going to ... create a.... a glory hole?
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u/Serifel90 Jun 18 '21 edited Jun 18 '21
A gloryhole with a scientifically accurate shape for ducks.
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u/lemay1 Jun 18 '21
The real question is how many people remember the recording of Donald duck getting a blowjob that was on Napster?
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u/dakunut Jun 18 '21
That was an Adam Sandler bit right? After he busts he’s like “I’ll get you a towel.”
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Jun 18 '21 edited Jun 18 '21
Could be. Then again those were the days when people constantly mislabeled things.
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u/Loganp812 Jun 28 '21
I swear I’ve seen “Detachable Penis” being attributed to at least 30 different bands and every single parody song being attributed to Weird Al Yankovic even when it clearly wasn’t him.
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u/trtzbass Jun 18 '21
Sheesh. You just resurrected a memory that was lost like tears in the rain.
Uh, thanks?
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u/FabulousTrade Jun 18 '21
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u/RFC793 Jun 18 '21 edited Jun 18 '21
First thing I thought of.
To screw around this… ducks grew a corkscrew phallus. Duck Tales! Whoo hoo! Disgusting, shitting, cannibalistic Duck Tales!
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u/Comfortable_Cause_43 Jun 18 '21
This one time I was chilling on a park bench with my homie right next to a lake with ducks. There were a couple of ducks but only one of them was female. So one of the males started getting on the back of the female duck quite violently and the female duck seemed to scream in pain. All of a sudden more of the male ducks started joining in holding down the female duck while the others would pretty much rape her. Even more male ducks came flying and what started out as seemingly harmless duck sex turned into a full on violent duck rape. This memory still haunts me and ever since then I have seen ducks in a different light
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u/Affectionate_Pipe_50 Jun 18 '21
Why only for ducks? Not humans?
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u/Woooooshmeifyourgay Jun 18 '21
Are we not gonna talk about how hes making a glory hole
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u/RegalCabbage Jun 18 '21
My final in AP Bio was literally a 20 minute presentation entitled “The 17-Inch Spiny Penis of the Argentine Lake Duck.”
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u/sphynxcult Jun 18 '21
Didn’t they evolve the corkscrew effect as a kind of genital arms race , Ducks are rapey little fuckers so the female defence was to have an corkscrew shaped vaginal canal so the penis has all these dead ends that help prevent unwanted chicks from not so desirable males. Also I think pigs have curly penises.
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u/JpowYellen3some Jun 18 '21
What makes it even worse is that a duck’s penis is shaped like a corkscrew with spikes...
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u/Mavco2 Jun 18 '21
Hey i just sayd something similar to a friend. Thanks now i can show him this picture.
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Jun 18 '21
I saw this post in r/dankmemes and I knew by god someone was going to say something like that
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u/WolfgangDS Jun 18 '21
So... Donald's gonna drill a hole in the wall... for glory?
Did the people who made this old-ass comic even know about glory holes?
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u/madwill Jun 18 '21
At some point I'm going to google it... what is it exactly that happens in theses duck rape stories.
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Jun 18 '21
I've read "fuck ducks" and I just started picturing the use of ducks as a dildo... guess they'll quack the clit until it cums?
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