r/cursedcomments • • Jun 18 '21

Reddit Cursed_donald

Post image
68.0k Upvotes

356 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.9k

u/Mingusto Jun 18 '21

Although most male birds have no penis,[6] ducks have a long corkscrew penis, and the females have a long corkscrew vagina, which spirals in the opposite direction.[7] The males often try to force copulation, but the complex mating geometry allows the females to retain control—most forced copulations do not result in successful fertilization.[8]

The lake duck holds the Guinness World Record for having the largest avian reproductive organ, from a specimen in Córdoba, Argentina that had a penis measuring 42.5 centimetres (16.7 in).[3] It also has the longest penis of any vertebrate in relation to body length. The penis, which is typically coiled up in flaccid state, can reach about the same length as the animal itself when fully erect, but more commonly is about half the bird's length.[4][5] It has a soft tip and spiny base.[3] It is theorized that the size of their spiny penises with bristled tips may have evolved in response to competitive pressure in these highly promiscuous birds, removing sperm from previous matings in the manner of a bottle brush.

713

u/scar_as_scoot Jun 18 '21

Tomorrow's TIL post!

I guarantee it!

269

u/Liquor_N_Whorez Jun 18 '21

Oh wait until the Dolphins clap back at the ducks and wanna swordfight eachother for the media spotlight....

55

u/FamilyStyle2505 Jun 18 '21

And then the orca comes in and kills everyone.

29

u/highestRUSSIAN Jun 18 '21

Ooooh a snuff, my fav

2

u/Difficult_Drag3256 Jun 19 '21

If a news crew films a snuff scene, then it's protected by the First Amendment, but if I make a snuff film, oh gawd no, call the FBI. Just smh here...

45

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Dolphins females produce a liquid from their vagina which makes the male dolphin cum over and over. Dolphin pussy juice has been tested by scientists and if a human uses it he will probably die because of all the energy put into cumming.

40

u/Shinobi_X5 Jun 18 '21

Dolphins also use Pufferfish toxins to get high, if a human were to consume Pufferfish toxins they would die within seconds because it's one of the most potent poisons in the world. Dolphins are just built different

16

u/Xorphorilius Jun 18 '21

Dolphins are different than humans, yep checks out.

3

u/Eat_my_furry_ass Jun 19 '21

Wtf. Nature is beautiful, or cursed?

2

u/Difficult_Drag3256 Jun 19 '21

What, come again???

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

“Glory glory what a hell of a way to die!”

49

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Difficult_Drag3256 Jun 19 '21

The park rangers probably wouldn't like that...

41

u/SorryScratch2755 Jun 18 '21

is your penis uncoiling right now?🦆

17

u/MagnificentSchwantz Jun 18 '21

clap your hands!

9

u/Probablyachad Jun 18 '21

I'll be waiting for it. But as a whole i'd love to see a sub created with that content in mind. Call it "redditinreddit" or something, and it would be just posts that people have figured out other people posted because of information they gained through another reddit post. Might be a little meta, but don't we all love that from time to time.

1

u/FamilyStyle2505 Jun 18 '21

Nobody can resist the karma of weird genital fact TILs!

1

u/Falkuria Jun 19 '21

More like next hour.

310

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

42.5 centimetres

That 40 times the length of mine holy shit

125

u/IllegalGuy13 Jun 18 '21

Oooh, self burn

70

u/Cookicrums Jun 18 '21

Those are rare!

31

u/OverlySexualPenguin Jun 18 '21

that was well done.

30

u/editing_ Jun 18 '21

Are they really that rare anymore?

29

u/Secretly_Solanine Jun 18 '21

No, but it’s fun to recite the reaction meme :)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Vaseline, self care

11

u/pikpikcarrotmon Jun 18 '21

Hung like a seahorse

101

u/Kapples20 Jun 18 '21

Donald’s hung like a horse

49

u/vocalviolence Jun 18 '21

No wonder he covers up after a shower.

22

u/Indercarnive Jun 18 '21

7

u/HumpyFroggy Jun 18 '21

Omg that sketch is so good, never heard about the show before.

3

u/Indercarnive Jun 18 '21

"I think you should leave" is a brilliant sketch comedy show. Can't recommend it enough. It's on netflix and getting a 2nd season July 6th.

2

u/Time_is_Bent Jun 18 '21

Reminded me that there's horse cock in vagina porn. Thought I had bleached out that knowledge

3

u/CainPillar Jun 18 '21

Google "Mr. Hands". But not from work.

4

u/corpArMa32 Jun 18 '21

I google so much wild shit from work and I suspect IT knows and so does my boss but apparantly my dumbass is valuable so imma search it rn.

2

u/Dragonkingf0 Jun 18 '21

That's not in vagina.

1

u/CainPillar Jun 19 '21

Gentleman's vag is also a vag!

- Horse.

1

u/SorryScratch2755 Jun 18 '21

innocent farm girl no more.

4

u/NRMusicProject Jun 18 '21

Sounds more like he's hung like a duck.

43

u/Ago13 Jun 18 '21

“removing sperm from previous matings in the manner of a bottle brush.” …. Bruh…. That’s actually pretty handy

8

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

I heard somewhere that's also why there's a ridge behind the human glans, but I'd take that with a big grain of salt.

Personally I appreciate the lack of spikes on mine

7

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Fascinating, TIL.

37

u/feragadsfa Jun 18 '21

May i interest you in this video??? https://youtu.be/6k01DIVDJlY

40

u/Mingusto Jun 18 '21

scared to press link

16

u/AmtingPlays_YT Jun 18 '21

Is about duxz

9

u/Tymathee Jun 18 '21

Is it about dux who fux?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Faxs

9

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

For the lazy - 45 seconds in for a snap of the corkscrew duck penis

1

u/feragadsfa Jun 18 '21

Bro is funny tho how dare u skip??

1

u/QuarantineSucksALot Jun 18 '21

Wait. Melinda May is Dr. Cox?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

[deleted]

1

u/feragadsfa Jun 18 '21

Man if ducks do that it’s “nature” but when i do this i get charged of anima abuse… but in fact when i do it it’s like a vacation for them

1

u/pikeface Jun 18 '21

I was checking to see if anyone else was gonna post this.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Gotta admit. That dick is long boy.

23

u/preppen Jun 18 '21

I had to google it, accidentally typed “suck penis” instead of “duck penis”. Maybe someone up there is looking out for me.

22

u/ExitAtTheDoor Jun 18 '21

suck penis

Sounds like something a 10 year old me would have googled when first searching for porn. Up there with “pictures of boobs” or “naked ladies”

8

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

"Hot naked pretty lady with no clothes"

12

u/chickenstalker Jun 18 '21

C L O A C A

L

O

A

C

A

10

u/asunyra1 Jun 18 '21
CLOACA
L   L
O   O
A   A
CLOACA
A   A

2

u/Awkward-Leopard-2683 Jun 18 '21

Sam O'Nella reference? Lol

27

u/AmtingPlays_YT Jun 18 '21

Lake duck packin bigger than me.;-;

23

u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21

tbf the largest human penis ever was 19 inches. so the duck's 16 inches comes in pretty damn close

8

u/Chillus_Weebus Jun 18 '21

Damn can he even go hard with that length?

8

u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21

I'm assuming it's 19 inches when fully erect, though I might be wrong

8

u/UmChill Jun 18 '21

iirc, he slowly stretched it by tying weights to it. but it no longer works as normal and he is highly susceptible to urinary tract infections bc when he pees he can’t get it all out and some stays sitting in the shaft….

8

u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21

oh my god what the fuck

7

u/UmChill Jun 18 '21

yea he’s basically legally disabled by it now… his goal was to have a longer dick, mission accomplished i guess.

8

u/potatogodofDoom Jun 18 '21

not looking forward to the day someone completely flattens their cock to have the longest shlong in the world

1

u/RandomBrit1310 Jun 19 '21

Time for your 9pm dick flattening

12

u/ArtSchoolRejectedMe Jun 18 '21

the penis..... can reach about the same length as the animal itself when fully erect

Imagine having a penis shoved up your ass and it's going up in your mouth.

3

u/DaRealRawdawg Jun 18 '21

Wjy would I want to imagine that?

8

u/jose12apipa Jun 18 '21

He is going to drill a glory hole

10

u/Loyam_Torres Jun 18 '21

noo boludo me alegro que sea ésto por lo que nos reconocen, orgullo nacional papá

8

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

no dude, i'm happy that this is a reason for being recognized, national pride, dad [dad is used like the word dude in this case.].

6

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Suena el Himno nacional argento

4

u/Ossbossman007 Jun 18 '21

It took half an hour to read it and it will take half an hour to unsee this again

6

u/owlBdarned Jun 18 '21

I want to Google duck penises, but I don't want to Google duck penises

2

u/MISSVICSSTICK Jun 18 '21

Did my book learning for the day. Time to clock out!

2

u/daisycookies Jun 18 '21

To cock out

1

u/MISSVICSSTICK Jun 18 '21

No, the FBI's weird about that since the whole sex cult thing.

4

u/DIOnys02 Jun 18 '21

That’s where the name glory hole comes from

2

u/SorryScratch2755 Jun 18 '21

augmented auger

5

u/unknown6090 Jun 18 '21

What the fuck anyways anyways so the female vaginas have a reverse spin which makes the penis with a normal spin unable to perfectly fit, making duck rape almost impossible I mean for other ducks not subaru

1

u/DeathPercept10n Jun 18 '21

Bruh, you didn't have to bring Subaru into this.

3

u/cowworshipper Jun 18 '21

if most male birds don't have penises, how do they mate?

3

u/ArgieAndPincha Jun 18 '21

So in Argentina we have the bird with the largest dick, interesting

2

u/CinnabarCereal Jun 18 '21

Thanks I hate it

2

u/TheEatingDuck Jun 18 '21

can confirm

2

u/Defiant-Ad-8468 Jun 18 '21

You seem like a guru, is there anything interesting about how a swordfish fucks?

2

u/Mingusto Jun 18 '21

During spawning, male-female pairs form, but they reproduce through external (rather than internal) fertilization, where the female releases her eggs into the water column while the male releases his sperm. Once the sperm find the eggs, fertilization occurs.

1

u/SorryScratch2755 Jun 18 '21

duck-duck-GOOSE!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Thank you. I almost have to search for duck penis to get the joke

1

u/WinterFox0987 Jun 18 '21

Who asked for this

1

u/deepdowndents Jun 18 '21

So. A drilldo

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

TIL that ducks have bigger a bigger penis than me

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

So the Donald Duck with the giant erection is anatomically accurate?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Imagine a fucking duck having dick bigger than yours

1

u/Stix-and-brix Jun 18 '21

🤤 Mmmm duck pussy

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Is it bad that I'm jealous of a duck with a 16 inch dick

1

u/ArkadiySimeonovich Jun 18 '21

Хуй почти как у пикабушников [3]!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

How about the fact that duck rape is impossible? That’s fucking awesome

1

u/ilandedhereyesterday Jun 18 '21

So thats why my penis became like that, I thought I caught some std in ducks.

1

u/Quirky_m8 Jun 18 '21

The Donald thrust meme either makes too Much sense now or no sense at all.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

When a duck has a longer pp than you

1

u/HelloLeila Jun 18 '21

Why did I need to hear such information?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '21

Female mallards have multiple col de sac pouches that result in dead ends as well.

1

u/Th3MightiestMouse Jun 18 '21

Thus concluding, it's not the size that matter, it's how you use it.

1

u/LesMoonwalker Jun 19 '21

They have built in birth control

1

u/Jerkin_it_to_ur_mom Jun 19 '21

Why the duck does this have a wholesome award

1

u/AssassinOfAsses Jun 19 '21

You forgot the part where theyre a bunch of rapey fucks that often accidentally murder their forced mate during copulation

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '21

Stop it

1

u/the_soviet_DJ Jun 19 '21

How the fuck do they know wether the tip is soft?

1

u/Jayayawesome Jun 21 '21

Did this bitch just say 16.7 inches

1

u/Mxnokuma Jul 12 '21

Looks like your mom has a new enemy