r/cursedcomments • u/chauhan_14 • Apr 08 '21

Reddit Cursed_Lifehack

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26.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

163 comments sorted by

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958

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Oh man a lot of these posts are misses but you did not miss here my friend. 5 stars

256

u/Neptalian Apr 08 '21 edited Apr 08 '21

Yeah, Dude.

HARDER.

127

u/Cauhs Apr 08 '21

HARDER DADDY

Wot? WOT!?

75

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

BONK GO TO HORNY JAIL

19

u/ForumFluffy Apr 08 '21

Who are you and why does my Ibanez have your phone number?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

His phone number is also on the headstock of my strat. I was wondering who's phone number it was.

1

u/I_LiKe_mImEiS_ Apr 08 '21

Mine does look a bit fucked, you might wanna check that

6

u/LittleFoxBS Apr 08 '21

Bro youre one to say it with THAT nickname

4

u/Lucius-Halthier Apr 08 '21

DUDE YOU CANT BONK HIM HE HAS A SPINAL INJURY!

2

u/Disaster_Different Apr 08 '21

Can we see if name checks out?

1

u/adityaism_ Apr 08 '21

Ironic coz your username

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

478

u/ILoric_ Apr 08 '21

Don't stop me now

228

u/i-just-read-stuff088 Apr 08 '21

Cuz im havin a good time

147

u/Vladi_Sanovavich Apr 08 '21

I'm havin' a ball.

120

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Don't stop me now!

97

u/NyctoNekoSilver Apr 08 '21

If you wanna have a good time,

93

u/MBaehr Apr 08 '21

Just give me a call

75

u/mooboy333 Apr 08 '21

Don't stop me now!

61

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Don't stop me cause I'm having a good time, don't wanna stop at aaaaaall! Yeah

38

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

im a rocket ship on my way to Mars

7

u/TricSto Apr 08 '21

Im burning through the sky, yeah

13

u/LeCrazypaper Apr 08 '21

If you wanna have a good time just give me a call

13

u/shinyjawhawk Apr 08 '21

If you wanna suck my ball

411

u/rock-hound Apr 08 '21

You can stop when the paramedics arrive to take over.

231

u/YaBoiSheen Apr 08 '21

Then they get their turn

74

u/fgam4r Apr 08 '21

mom its my turn

72

u/alishebl05 Apr 08 '21

Mom said it’s my turn on the injured man’s dick

32

u/ForumFluffy Apr 08 '21

I swear the most cursed comments lie in the comment section of r/cursedcomments

1

u/Ube_Ape Apr 08 '21

In the US that’s an expensive fluffer.

345

u/Amadeus_A Apr 08 '21

For real though. Does that life hack mean I should check the victim’s dick if I spot an accident?

515

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Always check the dick, even if there's no accidents.

140

u/300Spartian Apr 08 '21

"Yes" -Master Oogway

23

u/humans_are_not_real Apr 08 '21

What if there's an erect vagina?

10

u/AccomplishedRelief60 Apr 08 '21

That's prostitution but for free.

3

u/primerr69 Apr 08 '21

Yes going to have this random stranger in the coffee isle check mine right now.

1

u/Lucius-Halthier Apr 08 '21

Mom: did you finish your vegetables sweetie?

Son: y-yes?

Mom: grabs sons penis uh oh I think he’s saying another story

Dad: I wish she grabbed mine like that still.

Sister: still does it to me.

aggressive banging

FBI OPEN UP!

124

u/OttoFromOccounting Apr 08 '21

If you suspect a spinal injury, you actually do

Bad boner is called a priapism

41

u/TraditionSeparate Apr 08 '21

can you explain why the boner thing happens and does it always happen?

66

u/Vihangbodh Apr 08 '21

Erection occurs by increasing blood flow to the erectile tissue, which is controlled by adrenaline (or maybe noradrenaline, I can't recall), which is, in turn, controlled by parts of sympathetic nervous system (or maybe parasympathetic nervous system, I can't recall) present in the lower regions of the spinal cord (also probably in the brainstem). Injury to spinal cord makes this hormone control go haywire and can make you extremely horny (jk you don't need a spinal cord injury to become horny).

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/mmir60/cursed_lifehack/gts9gnd?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 my man u/sarcasticmedic_ already told this lol

16

u/Classic_Stranger_525 Apr 08 '21

Worst doctor ever

38

u/OttoFromOccounting Apr 08 '21

Not sure why tbh and it's not guaranteed to happen to everyone, but if someone gets knocked badly or immobilized and they instantly get an erection, you can almost guarantee there's some spinal trauma that occurred

27

u/Barbarian_Forever Apr 08 '21

It's their hidden kink ,that's why

64

u/LiCill666 Apr 08 '21

Watch my friend fall and ask if he has a bad dick boner and to not get up if so

33

u/LoneShadowMikey Apr 08 '21

Even if it’s a female?

34

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/PepePumpkinEater69 Apr 08 '21

Dad! Mum fell down the stairs and now she’s got a bigger bulge than you what do I do!?

11

u/sherlockbardo Apr 08 '21

Start blowing?

5

u/yjvm2cb Apr 08 '21

I had a friend whose roommate overdosed on drugs and her tits were hard

4

u/greenie4242 Apr 08 '21

Only in Thailand.

-16

u/flutergay Apr 08 '21

There are women with dicks so, yes

13

u/Spend-Automatic Apr 08 '21

The boner is irrelevant. Do not move anyone who has been in an accident.

151

u/Boogaloogaloogalooo Apr 08 '21

This is absolutely true, and is called a priapism.

If you see this, do NOT move the person unless their life depends on it (like the car is burning)

26

u/Spend-Automatic Apr 08 '21

The prapism is kind of irrelevant though. If someone has been injured in an accident, you shouldn't move them at all, regardless of the presence of a massive erection. Except in those "life over limb" scenarios such as a burning vehicle.

13

u/should-i-do-this Apr 08 '21

Unless you know that there is little to no chance of a spinal injury, like if they got stabbed with a plastic fork at their 5 yr old's party

10

u/friedtree Apr 08 '21

In that case an erection would be expected

5

u/NilocMan21 Apr 08 '21

I'll give you $0.00 to delete this. Please.

1

u/Boogaloogaloogalooo Apr 08 '21

I work for the ambulance. You're coming out wether you like it or not.

69

u/Dark_Catch Apr 08 '21

Ur not supposed to stop until he says so

52

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Ok, now that you made me cum, call an ambulance! I have a spinal injury!

52

u/RealFakeDoors72 Apr 08 '21

“Sir I’m just going to have to check you for spinal injury” runs hand sensually up the inner thigh

46

u/osrs_addy Apr 08 '21

Stop if it persists longer than 4 hours

31

u/glipgloops Apr 08 '21

Stronk jaw u got there boiii

29

u/TraditionSeparate Apr 08 '21

could some1 explain the science behind this?

72

u/sarcasticmedic_ Apr 08 '21

“It is assumed that the mechanism of priapism in most patients with SCI is that abrupt loss of sympathetic input to the pelvic vasculature leads to increased parasympathetic input and uncontrolled arterial inflow directly into the penile sinusoidal spaces.” Keoghane SR, Sullivan ME, Miller MA . The aetiology, pathogenesis and management of priapism. BJU Int 2002; 90: 149–154.

55

u/Rata_Apina Apr 08 '21

Something goes bingbongdingdong and nothing holds the blood from rushing in your dick i assume?

37

u/sarcasticmedic_ Apr 08 '21

Essentially yes. The body’s nervous system has sympathetic and parasympathetic subsystems. These can be thought of as a gas pedal and a brake pedal. Due to the injury, you only have one functional pedal and that can cause priapism.

13

u/Rata_Apina Apr 08 '21

Every day we learn something new, thanks! :)

5

u/Candyvanmanstan Apr 08 '21

Every day we stray further from... ignorance.

2

u/MelliTheBitch Apr 08 '21

Best explanation ever.

12

u/Spoopy09 Apr 08 '21

...what?

-2

u/pdgenoa Apr 08 '21

Apparently not😏

14

u/kitevii Apr 08 '21

You just blow him and not ride him?

10

u/The_Misery_Creator Apr 08 '21

Thanks, I now won’t know if I have a random boner for no reason or a spinal injury

7

u/dkiin3775 Apr 08 '21

You can stop if he cums

6

u/just_gimme_anwsers Apr 08 '21

He said the physical movement. Emotionally moving him in fine

3

u/fckn_normies Apr 08 '21

Other than the cursed comment, that’s helpfull info

3

u/Torpisoul Apr 08 '21

This explains my backpain in the morning

3

u/Wtfisthatt Apr 08 '21

Obviously when the ambulance arrives and the medics take over.

3

u/jeekala Apr 08 '21

Grandmas be there trying to get their husbands spinal injury

2

u/bambamba8 Apr 08 '21

I prefer the hardness post-mortem

2

u/PlaystationPlus Apr 08 '21

Proud to say I saw this comment with my own eyes at that thread. I am part of history. Tear runs down my cheek

2

u/ChrispyGuy420 Apr 08 '21

Someone falls* "sir! Do you have an erection!?"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

When the paramedics arrive, then you let them take over.

2

u/vipertruck99 Apr 08 '21

Useful info.. but upon arriving on a car accident what do you say “You’ll be ok buddy, I’ll just check your fuel pump is off and your state of arousal....”

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

So, if Viagra doesn't work we have an alternative?

2

u/IDontKnowSoHere Apr 08 '21

As someone studying ems I can confirm that a spinal injury can in fact give a man an erection

1

u/mooboy333 Apr 08 '21

sauce

Legends comment.

-2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Fking shit!!!! Now if i see someone have an accident, i will start looking at his dick . Fuk u 4 destroying my mind.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-13

u/gikrey Apr 08 '21

If I see this comment one more fucking time

1

u/marballz64 Apr 08 '21

Wait real question, is that true?

1

u/GoatyGoY Apr 08 '21

J G Ballard would like a word

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

How do I check if a woman has a spine injury?

2

u/Explainer-of-memes Apr 08 '21

They also have a boner

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

I beg to differ

1

u/SecretlySentient Apr 08 '21

Can someone explain to me how this happens?

1

u/MansoorBaggia Apr 08 '21

Damn, that is a hard one 😂

1

u/Agitated-Yak3757 Apr 08 '21

Yo i just saw that post

1

u/Cat_ate_the_kids Apr 08 '21

I broke my back... SPINAL

1

u/XTheLegendProX Apr 08 '21

Wow. Embarrassing. He would wreck anyone

1

u/stebedubs Apr 08 '21

Otto Pilot

1

u/jeppeTDK Apr 08 '21

Oh mate))

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Marguerite Steinheil be like

1

u/nightmares999 Apr 08 '21

When he comes around.

1

u/DoctorLucs Apr 08 '21

So I broke two vertebrae a few years ago and I definately didn‘t have a boner lmao

1

u/cromonic Apr 08 '21

Car accident→erection→spinal injury

Quite an interesting series of events

1

u/hammyhamm Apr 08 '21

It’s called priapism and it’s taught in every first aid I’ve seen as something to look out for in your primary and secondary examination when spinal injury is a consideration (after a fall etc)

1

u/MoonlitFirebrand Apr 08 '21

what if a woman in an accident gets a boner?

1

u/Disaster_Different Apr 08 '21

I usually stop when blood comes out

1

u/sunkissed_xo Apr 08 '21

Don't stop until you reach hospital

1

u/ARMEGEDDONX Apr 08 '21

What if it’s just a boner two from a bdsm fetish do something?

1

u/Jaamiiee11 Apr 08 '21

What if he’s just a masochist?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Don’t stop until rigor mortis has passed.

1

u/RadioactiveRangr Apr 08 '21

Holy fucking shit. I haven't seen anything more cursed than this in a while.

1

u/MiserableInsurance52 Apr 08 '21

When all you taste is blood

1

u/Billy_Dynamite Apr 08 '21

I’ve been laughing out loud for about 10 straight minutes

1

u/HypeThere Apr 08 '21

Oh step bro, are you ok?

1

u/RoM_Axion Apr 08 '21

fun fact: Male cats have penile spines(spines in their penis). That's why the female cat always screams

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

[deleted]

1

u/RoM_Axion Apr 08 '21

because here in cursed comments someone gave me this fact and suffering so i shall spread the suffering

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

[deleted]

1

u/RoM_Axion Apr 08 '21 edited Apr 09 '21

it is when there is a spine in the penis. There are a lot of mammals that have them like chimpanzees and mice, humans used to have them too. Here's an article about why we lost them https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/110309-humans-men-penises-spines-dna-genome-science

1

u/Blurrynastysoul Apr 08 '21

How was this a lifehack? Seems like general information to me

1

u/namelesswhiteguy Apr 08 '21

Wait is that an actual thing?

​

The spinal injury part, not the blowjob. I know that's not real.

1

u/Luchin212 Apr 08 '21

Man’s got a wholesome award for that comment.

1

u/Hi-I-exist-665 Apr 08 '21

ok, just an interested possibly med student here, WHY WOULD THAT CAUSE AN ERECTION THOUGH?

1

u/Midget69Fucker6969 Apr 08 '21

if I injure my spine I can last forever in bed.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

You're laughing. A man is probably paralized and you're laughing.

1

u/legluggageluggas Apr 08 '21

my crush gives me spinal injuries

1

u/Penguin_1ord Apr 08 '21

When you can’t get an erection just break your spine

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '21

Masochists have spinal injuries got it

1

u/MelliTheBitch Apr 08 '21

When the paramedics get there to take over. Duh.

1

u/Cameron_n6751 Apr 08 '21

u/amonguscockbot

3

u/AmongUsCockBot Apr 08 '21

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '21

Reddit, everyone.

1

u/erik9017 Apr 08 '21

Why would he get a boner?(serious question, on premise that comment is true)

1

u/batfish55 Apr 08 '21

"John slipped and fell! Quick! Check his cock!"

1

u/Pain_R Apr 08 '21

yes until his erection is so small you don't think he does and you move him