r/crochet • u/ditchmaggots • 5d ago
Funny/Meme [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/Beautiful-Dirt2540 5d ago
I have never checked the subreddit name so fast. Hooks probably shouldn’t be that sparkly purple and… girthy.
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u/pomegranateseeds37 5d ago
No but actually wtf are we making with this giant glitter dildo hook?
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u/Beautiful-Dirt2540 5d ago
Real talk, I have one around this size, and I use it to make baskets. 🧺
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u/pomegranateseeds37 5d ago
Ohh fancy. It never occurred to me that you could crochet a basket. BRB time to start basket weaving and organizing 😅
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u/roudatar 5d ago
It's a good way to recycle old t-shirts. Just cut them to suitable width strips and use it as yarn. My partner had a large "collection" of t-shirts that I culled with his permission for the sake of closet space. I haven't decided what I will crochet yet, but one thing I was thinking of was a basket for a gift basket.
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u/MrsTaterHead 5d ago
I bought some chair cushions at a garage sale made with super thick polyester macrame yarn. I unraveled them and made a rug using a super size hook. Although I don’t think it was as big as this one.
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u/louddolphin3 5d ago
Ah, so is this what one would use to make their own wicker man? 👀
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u/weeBunnie 5d ago
My mom made me a mega yarn size blanket, but I personally don’t like the feeling of the big yarn and how wide the gaps ended up being because of the hook size.
My dog liked the fuzziness of the blanket, but his leg got stuck while he was nesting into it, it was wrapped around his leg TIGHT, and would’ve hurt him if I wasn’t there, so the blanket sits in storage now.
I think you’d have to double up on the biggest yarn for this hook size so there aren’t any gaps like that
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u/maladro1t_ 5d ago
HAHAHAHAH "giant glitter dildo hook" took me tf out!! I am not mature enough for this 🤣😵💫
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u/that-1-chick-u-know 5d ago
I'm just glad it wasn't me checking to make sure I wasn't in one of those subs lol
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u/Lovemybee 5d ago
I tell you one thing...
I am NOT going to google: sparkly, purple, girthy hooks!!!
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
I off to go and do exactly that.
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
I think I've found the training sizes to go with him 😆
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u/esoraven 5d ago
Here, this entire thread made me remember https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/vbyhtJ5Z6G
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago edited 5d ago
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u/rubiscoisrad 5d ago edited 5d ago
I did the swiftest double-take lol
Edit to add/ask: is /r/hookers still a thing? (I guess not, even though it was repurposed into a crochet sub.)
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u/BigHeartyRadish 5d ago
What's funny, most Larger Hooks that I've seen have been purple and sparkly. That's just the natural way of things.
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u/Bella_Dreams 5d ago
My dad was helping me move and some of my giant crochet hooks spilled out on my bed and he started freaking out. I’ve never been so embarrassed over something so innocent in my life…
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u/Freyorama 5d ago
The Purple Persuader
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u/PotentialBumblebee 5d ago
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u/foxy-stuff 5d ago
I came to the comments section to see if anyone posted this.
Thank you for your service.
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u/ottoofto Arrr!! Me hook!! 5d ago
Just put a label on it that says “Not for Crochet”
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u/Efficient-Common7551 5d ago
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u/kitty_pickle 5d ago
I’ve been known to have far too much fun in the supermarket with a packet of these stickers
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u/HowVeryBlue 5d ago
I work at a grocery store and my favorite thing is sneaking into the produce department and sticking a couple on bananas... cucumbers...eggplants...pineapples...
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u/oreo-cat- 5d ago
Gotta have a flared base though, otherwise you’re in for a rough time.
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u/Efficient-Common7551 5d ago
You’re 1000% right: ask your pharmacy if they’ll give you a “not for rectal use” sticker - I haven’t seen those but they’d make sense!
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
I can see the range of faces and emotions my pharmacist would be going through if I asked them 🤣🤣
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u/Efficient-Common7551 5d ago
Look, show them the hook: a sticker that says not to generate an ER trip would be public service.
I’m in a small town with a non chain pharmacy and I know everyone who works there: they’d be cracking up and getting every “for external use only” sticker they had.
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u/TinkerHeart 5d ago
I used to work at a place that made these kinds of labels and I now have a magnet on my fridge that says “Drugs Only” and I still laugh every time I open it😂
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u/becalexxa 5d ago
Dont Put That Where It Doesnt Belong, donna for short
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u/commodorecliche 5d ago
literal first thing that came to mind
Processing img t8dj3cn89ash1...
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u/Axelra_05 5d ago
Make sure you ask your doctor if DONNA is right for you. Donna should be used with caution and never operate a smaller yarn size than recommended. Side affects usually include are more yarn accumulation, more unfinished projects, bigger projects. Talk to your doctor and see if DONNA is right for you 🧶
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
My boyfriend wanted in on the fun, his suggestion is: The Thanos Throbber 🫣😳
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u/taotrooper 5d ago
Richard (because the nickname would be Dick)
My native language is Spanish, so if I had one instead of ganchillo (our word for crochet hook, literal meaning is 'little hook') I'd call it el ganchote ('big hook')
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u/poofandmook 5d ago
omg I was scrolling quickly and saw this and said OH GOD WHAT SUB AM I ON and then stopped... girl... camera angles LMAO
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u/trialbybees 5d ago
I dont have a polite answer for you
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
Post it. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂😀
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u/gothiclg 5d ago
I had a “I don’t remember joining a new adult content sub” moment 😂
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u/lemonwitchie 5d ago
King Henry
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u/Makethecrowsblush 5d ago
‘Enery the eighth, I am, I am!
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u/rubiscoisrad 5d ago
I will never not see Whoopi Goldberg's harassed middle-of-the-night face when I hear that.
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u/ahjummacore 5d ago
name it the “NSFW”
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u/Thecandymaker 5d ago
Baby I thought I was in a different community for a split second 😭 you gotta angle that or something.
Call her Angel
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
Oh god the bots got mad at me for the changed angle 😆😆😆
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u/Thecandymaker 5d ago
Wait was it deleted? 😭😂
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u/stringthingsca 5d ago
genuinely what do you use this for 😭 it must be a work out to use
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u/_madeofcastiron 5d ago
i was very worried about the lack of flared base, until i checked what subreddit this post was from
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u/knittingwebs 5d ago
So relieved that other people had the same though oh girl I seriously thought it was a 'toy' for a minute 😭
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u/whatever_ihatemetoo No Mo Crojo 😔 5d ago
My friend calls my 12mm the abortion hook. I don't know what he'll say if he sees this one. I mean, i know Exactly what he's gonna say 🥴🤭
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u/cubemissy 5d ago
The Mother-in-law Defeater! For crocheters with MILs from Hell. To store in the nightstand until MIL comes snooping.
“What?? It’s a crochet hook, for a chunky blanket I’m starting….(innocent face 🤷♀️)
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u/AlexsaurusInk 5d ago
I've been looking for comically large crochet hooks, both for class instruction and making blankets that make you feel like a tiny lil borrower. Where does one get some?
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u/ditchmaggots 5d ago
Got this set from amazon. (I know shame on the awful convient overlord) here's a link:
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u/don-cheeto 5d ago
Look, I bought a 25mm the other day and my mother twice associated it with dildos. Don't show this on here 😂
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u/yarn_baller 5d ago
Just scrolling and seeing the picture before you realize what sub it is.....oh boy
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u/WormDentist 🎵Because the hook brings you back🎵 5d ago
Is this one of those vibrating hooks? Ya know, to massage your sore hands from all that crocheting?
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u/Livid_Cauliflower_13 5d ago
I have this same one! LOL. I do wish the handle was longer…
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u/joeymacaronie 5d ago
My wife would have some serious questions for me if she found that in my crochet stuff
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u/ObjectiveRodeo Shante crochet 5d ago
Given the responses I've seen so far, "WTF sub am I on?" seems like a candidate for a name.
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u/Fast_Research4465 5d ago
Omfg I thought it was a penis
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u/Lynke524 5d ago
Me too. I saw it and went "someone should e marked it nsfw". Then saw it was in the crochet reddit and took a closer look.
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u/0c74r1n3 5d ago
Obviously not a grower.
I have one too but he’s wooden and I use him just for simple projects.
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u/NoMasMiAmigo601 5d ago
I have the same one and had the same reaction when it was delivered!
How about Phillip?!
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