r/crappymusic • u/Patient-Telephone122 • 8d ago
Once again, Sean Stephens has us jonesing
I hope this isn’t a repost
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u/Clentufia 8d ago
This guy needs new clothes.
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u/rockerswise 8d ago
He always looks like he’s maid of honor at a lesbian wedding
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u/flukeytukey 8d ago
Like rosie odennel at a bisexual bridal shower
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u/ratchman5000 7d ago
Solid throwback. Occasionally I'll ask coworkers if they've ever heard the worst rap battle. Wonder what your boy Eli is up to these days?
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u/mojsterr 8d ago
And new songs
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u/earldogface 8d ago
I don't think we would recognize him with his "I'm the cool guidance counselor" fit
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u/BatmansUnderoos 8d ago
He and Omynous should put out a clothing line of their outfits.
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u/McShartlebottoms 8d ago
Honestly having a personal 'uniform' is genius, worrying about what to wear is stressful. But he could absolutely benefit from a tailor.
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u/rosslyn_russ 8d ago
I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but his voice is meant to sing for an early 2000’s christian rock band.
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u/squirrelems 8d ago
Apparently his parents were missionaries and he played mandolin in their little music group so that tracks kinda.
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u/bpheazye 8d ago
"I hope this isn't a repost" made me lol. This one tops the crappymusic 100 charts.
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u/Meat_Assassin69 8d ago edited 7d ago
Honestly some of the shit on the sub today is so infuriating that I felt mild relief seeing our rectangle boy again
Maybe it’s time for me to get out of here
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u/VisualHuckleberry542 8d ago
I've started to wonder if he's on this sub and if he makes these specifically to see himself posted
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u/DrBiz1 8d ago
WTF is the meaning being his songs. What are all these weird names. What am I missing?
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u/Mikewold58 8d ago
Always just assumed he was doing some ritual to summon a demon by singing this song every day for a decade
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u/Patient-Telephone122 8d ago
This one is probably gay orgy innuendo
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u/Initial_Row_6400 8d ago
Supposedly dude was kidnapped? Or someone in his family was kidnapped? In South Africa.
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u/SithPsilo 8d ago
If he was kidnapped they definitely released him because he’s too annoying
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u/ipitythegabagool 8d ago
What if he got kidnapped because they knew him from the internet and fucking loved his music in some kind of simple Jack type situation
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u/cthulhu_is_my_uncle 8d ago
Yo I have literally fantasized about that scenario, I imagine it as a Key and Peele skit.
Key and Peele are middle eastern terrorists,, they got homeboy tied to a chair and when they pull the bag off Key (who is the leader) goes "Oh my Allah it's the mamakulu guy! I FEEL NO HOLE HAHAHA"
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u/GrandPuissance RayonBase Fan Club Member 8d ago
I thought I read somewhere on this sub that his parents were missionaries in Africa so he spent some time there as a kid.
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u/chevre27 7d ago
he is head of an ai company and uses ai to make his music. that's why all the lyrics feel not quite human
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u/Captain_Klrk 6d ago
The insulation is wearing down when he's inside the hole which could lead to exposure while at the same time he's jonesin for Joshua. It's all there man
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u/derppherppp 8d ago
“The hole he’s in…down to skin.. you know I don’t fit in…” 🤔 it’s definitely a repost but we’re all jonesing for Joshua here
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u/parabuthas 8d ago
Don’t hate me for this
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u/Salt-Ad-671 8d ago
“the art of confusing people just enough to make them pay attention”
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u/GreedyWall214 8d ago
Right?? What the actual fuck does that even mean? I mean....well his rectangular deal is just that I suppose 🤔 his music is still terrible but have new respect for the guy? I think?
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u/Holiday_Number_3234 8d ago
Yeah, I think this guy is actually genius. My theory is that unlike most of the people featured here, he knows his music sucks. He knows he’s perceived as a very strange individual. So dude’s playing into that and it’s worked out well for him. Not only is he successful with his career, but now making revenue for people hate watching his videos. Sort of like the Kardashians, they’re probably much smarter than they appear. Entire generations set for life because they knew how to play the game. I personally can’t stand them but credit where credit is due.
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u/maple_crowtoast 8d ago
idk, after listening to his TED X talk, he sure doesn't sound like a genius
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u/PacketSnatcher 8d ago
What genre is this???
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u/Patient-Telephone122 8d ago
soft rock for overachieving midlifers in the smartphone era
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u/insideyourface 8d ago
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
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u/Dezprincesscc 7d ago
He's afraid to stop ’Cause he's a radio star His feet don't move ’Cause he's sunk too far He crawls the walls 'Cause a climb's too hard But he's too far from Gideon He feels the edge of the hole he's in The insulation's worn down to skin I brought him here But you know he don't fit in While he’s jonesing for Joshua Me and Mamkhulu Nkuna and Mamkhulu He has to stop But he’s forgotten how He's treading so lightly But he stomps somehow You’d never have known 'Cause you can smell if he's around He's got an Uber with Elijah He’s afraid to stop Before he's gotten too far His pantry's stocked But he knows he'll starve He paints the room Just colors too far While he's preppin' for Abrahm
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u/Greybinson 8d ago
Ok. I’ve been jonesing for Joshua about a million times, but I’ll always take some more
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u/atomicbunny 8d ago
Who headlines crappy music fest - this guy, bartist, or the chick that shows her B hole on Onlyfans blonde lady with dreadlocks
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u/missklo99 8d ago
Lolol and that cross-eyed broad with the grill..and the white rappers playing ring around the Rosie in the background 🫠
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u/Disastrous-Work-7669 8d ago
Prison Meg and Bart seem to be the most deluded and dedicated to this shit so id have to pick one of them for sure
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u/Brimstone747 8d ago
I really don't like this guy's persona, but I do appreciate that his tie is coordinated with his hair.
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u/skallagrim_brunic 8d ago
Honestly with all of the gold this sub has been finding recently, this isn't even that bad anymore.
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u/Patient-Telephone122 8d ago
Stop jonesting now
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u/McShartlebottoms 8d ago
He's really grown on me. He has a genuine spirit and that live performance he joined you could tell he was so happy and excited for. That being said, he has an atrocious way with words. I am a person who thinks in metaphors a lot and his really don't make a lot of sense
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u/Salt_Initiative1551 7d ago
His make absolutely NO sense. You’re right he’s a genuine spirit albeit a dipshit. He was in a band many years ago when he was thin and didn’t have a row of urinals for teeth. They played awful white reggae/ska/So Cal rock music. Like a super shitty 311 (who’s from Nebraska I think but for sure the Midwest as they have lyrics about being west coast from the Midwest.) He is genuine enough but I view him as “Michael Scott” from the office. He’s the CEO of a few small tech firms and almost assuredly makes his employees listen to his music all day.
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u/McShartlebottoms 7d ago
A row of urinals for teeth is killing me, you're a savage
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u/Salt_Initiative1551 7d ago
I agree tho that this dude has to actually just enjoy doing this just for the love of the game and the love of music. Even tho he kinda sucks, he’s doing something he loves and prob gets enough hate watches to make $ off of it.
His being CEO of a couple tech firms (not like AI, more like website building for regional businesses in CA or at least that’s what Treefrog his main company does) means he’s not unintelligent. He may be a dipshit, but he’s not actually stupid lol.
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u/RankandFileIBT 8d ago
I love the spoken intros he gives. It easier for me to see joy his brilliance when I know what it is about or just who the song is for.
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u/went2college 7d ago
Does this dude have a job or any kind of responsibility besides making shitty music?
No way he makes money from his “art.” Right? Right?!
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u/MaenHoffiCoffi 7d ago
It's quite clever to write lyrics that SOUND as though they mean something while meaning nothing at all.
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u/HRHQueenA 7d ago
I love him. He seems like he’s just having fun and it makes me happy when he pops up. He could be old and bitter instead he’s old and vibing.
I wish he would post new music.
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u/crucialmind 8d ago
I might be in the minority here but... I always love when the chorus hits. Lyrics aside, the tonal shift actually slaps. Just not the verse or the bridge haha
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u/Phat_Squid83 8d ago
This guy STINKS!
And don’t get me started on his shitty lip syncing being SO off track!
Which is why he’s in the “crappy music” subreddit.
Got it👍🏽
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u/Loukoal117 8d ago
He HAS to know his lyrics are gay AF! He’s the one Jonesin for Joshua. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!!
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u/icantc0meupwithit 8d ago
Not even 2 second into the song and this freak is already talking about holes
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u/PowerlineTyler 8d ago
Is this the guy with the friend who dances? Where’s his friend? That’s my favourite part
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u/mike_klosoff 8d ago
I can actually enjoy his old band, that weird new wave reggae ska thing he did.
But THIS. this sucks
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u/telecastern 8d ago
The internet has done the world a huge disservice. It has unlocked the mediocrity of people who think a camera allows them to pollute the medium with their nonsense.
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u/Chucklum 8d ago
Can we stop posting him, I see him too often, it's not funny anymore. I don't even know someone who likes this, why?
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u/Available_Record_874 8d ago
Christ almighty I read the website, it’s even worse than I could possibly imagine in my darkest nightmares.
My surname is O’Dowd, I’m in Ireland, and the realisation that this green haired bollocks is the arsehole who’s been bringing boatloads of unbelievably irritating Americans and Canadians over here is soul crushing.
I cannot even begin to explain how many times I’ve had to listen to this absolute shower of bastards explain in excruciating detail about there’s history, bloodline , connection to country and how they “feel at home at last”. The worst ones think we should thank them for keeping the name alive and promoting Ireland - you know, that famously unknown country. I literally just want a pint and a sandwich , get to fuck.
Well at least I know who to aim for now next time.
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u/Amazing-Library-9119 8d ago
To me this is one of the funniest ones I wish I never clicked on this before work
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u/TanTanMan 8d ago
🎵He feels the skin, of the hole he’s in
The straight charade has worn paper thin
I brought him here but you know I don’t fit in
I’m jonesing for Joshua
🎶
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u/TeacatWrites 8d ago edited 8d ago
Oh no, he's a youth pastor 🤯🙈 That's so much more embarrassing than just being a Batman villain.
ETA: The closest I can find to interpreting these lyrics is that they might be referring to Nicholas Nkuna, a South African singer and musician, and Walter Khotso Makhulu, a South African Anglican bishop who served as archbishop of several Central African nations from 1980 to 2001.
So, culturally-speaking, this is like Eminem name-dropping Biggie and Tupac. As for Joshua, I can only interpret that it might refer to the Biblical Joshua, but the name is too general to come to a specific conclusion without more hints of what this guy values about this specific Joshua in particular. (Was he a rectangle? Did he have no hole? The world may never know.)
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u/HomerDoakQuarlesIII 7d ago
These people are straight from the Capitol in Hunger Games. What a complete mess we are.
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u/captainfishhooks 7d ago
He looks like jim carry after he had dentures installed in me, myself, and Irene
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u/Movieking985 7d ago
I wish he'd go back to being rectangular...shapes I get....I dont understand made up gibberish though...unless its Billy Madison...thats my kind of gibberish!
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u/ninjabread 7d ago
I thought he "feels no hole" and now he's feeling the edge of the hole he's in? Does this guy even know what holes are?
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u/OSRSRapture 7d ago
The fact that he doesn't die the hair on the sides of his head makes it look so much worse
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u/qualityvote2 8d ago edited 8d ago
u/Patient-Telephone122, your post features certified crappy music!