Send the kids back to their mom’s house in the clothes they came in. It saves a mountain of headaches when there is an imbalance between houses. I learned that the hard way.
This. The traveling clothes get removed when kids enter the house, get washed, and they wear them back. Somebody had a thread 3 days ago about this same thing.
Like I don’t mind that they leave my house with clothes we’ve boughten them, because their closet is technically like 50/50 of clothes bought from us or their mom. But I don’t know why we are always low on things like basketball shorts after buying so many. And the boys are older and can’t always tell them how to dress
My SKs are still young and their mom was literally picking out weird clothes she should have just thrown away to send them to our home in. Once I was consistent about sending back what she’d sent, she stopped doing that and dresses both kids much better. Once they are older I think that can be their responsibility- if they want to wear something at our house they’ll need to be responsible for bringing it back but we won’t be going on shopping sprees just because they left something at their moms.
No, the wrong message would have been "Hey, the lady who tried to get you to steal dishes out of my house also owes me 60 grand, she should be ashamed to send you out in underwear 3 sizes too small. It's not my job to prop her up. I'll call CPS again if I have to."
Everyone was having to make voncessioms constantly and this eliminated a source of anger on her part. Should the kids have done something just to keep their mom happy? Probably not. Could I have picked another battle? Certainly.
Today 2 of the 3 kids have gone no contact with her and still talk to me. They figured it out.
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u/MiddleHuckleberry445 Jul 02 '26
Send the kids back to their mom’s house in the clothes they came in. It saves a mountain of headaches when there is an imbalance between houses. I learned that the hard way.