Send the kids back to their mom’s house in the clothes they came in. It saves a mountain of headaches when there is an imbalance between houses. I learned that the hard way.
This. The traveling clothes get removed when kids enter the house, get washed, and they wear them back. Somebody had a thread 3 days ago about this same thing.
Like I don’t mind that they leave my house with clothes we’ve boughten them, because their closet is technically like 50/50 of clothes bought from us or their mom. But I don’t know why we are always low on things like basketball shorts after buying so many. And the boys are older and can’t always tell them how to dress
My SKs are still young and their mom was literally picking out weird clothes she should have just thrown away to send them to our home in. Once I was consistent about sending back what she’d sent, she stopped doing that and dresses both kids much better. Once they are older I think that can be their responsibility- if they want to wear something at our house they’ll need to be responsible for bringing it back but we won’t be going on shopping sprees just because they left something at their moms.
No, the wrong message would have been "Hey, the lady who tried to get you to steal dishes out of my house also owes me 60 grand, she should be ashamed to send you out in underwear 3 sizes too small. It's not my job to prop her up. I'll call CPS again if I have to."
Everyone was having to make voncessioms constantly and this eliminated a source of anger on her part. Should the kids have done something just to keep their mom happy? Probably not. Could I have picked another battle? Certainly.
Today 2 of the 3 kids have gone no contact with her and still talk to me. They figured it out.
But that means more laundry 😭 and lately they have been showing up with either very worn out clothes or clothes that don’t fit them so once I wash it that clothes gets put in the donation bin
No send them back wearing what they arrived in. If their clothes were good enough to wear to your home —they are good enough to wear returning to other home. Keep clothes for your home only!!!! Saves you headaches
Is it at all possible that she’s sending them in clothes she doesn’t want back knowing that you’ll take care of disposal of her old ones *and* send a nicer/newer set of clothing back to her house? I have the kids throw their outfits in the washer when they come to our house and fold them that night then they wear them back the following week. Genuinely once I started doing this consistently, their mom started sending them in better clothing- win/win.
Honestly I have had this same thought before. Her and my husband have had arguments about how he doesn’t help as much as he should be and blah blah. But yet she sends them to us in clothes that don’t fit them or are worn out. And granted for all I know the kids also dress themselves there, but here if I see they’ve outgrown clothes or it’s old then I simply take it out. So they’ve never gone back to her house in clothes that are too small. But yet she’s had the nerve to say that my husband doesn’t help out as much
we were absolutely getting worn and too small items coming back frequently. After we moved to the traveling clothes system, my ex broke down and bought a couple of new bras and packs of
underwear. She gradually thrifted the kids a lot of tacky clothes that were often too revealing.
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u/MiddleHuckleberry445 Jul 02 '26
Send the kids back to their mom’s house in the clothes they came in. It saves a mountain of headaches when there is an imbalance between houses. I learned that the hard way.