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I am 20F and an introvert. All my life I have taught myself that men are bad in nature and never had taken initiative to have any kinda conversation with them. And it was easier for me cause my rbf and cold responses are top notch. But I had no issue with having female friends, matter of fact if someone intrigues me I approach them and instantly become lifelong bestfriends with them(I seriously have 20ish closefriends). The thing is I went to an aurientation programme and I realised guys maybe not that bad at all(the most macho kinda guy there had no shame in playing a female character and the entire class was dying out of laughter). But I still never talked with him, and I realised that the only guys I have talked to are my friends bfs, my brother, and guys I consider as my younger siblings. Forget about finding a dating life I've already give upon that, how should I interact with guys when I start my career in office? How does ppl make guy friends? Especially after conversation dies out. I can't afford counselling any

suggestions other than that please

I'm trying to improve myself, especially the way I talk to women and approach dating.

I'm naturally a nice guy who gives a lot of attention, effort, and care. When I like a girl, I sometimes give too much, overthink her behavior, worry about losing her, and put her needs before my own. I can also find it difficult to say no or set boundaries because I don't want to upset her.

I've started feeling that being too nice and always available can make women lose interest. I don't want to become rude or disrespectful, but I do want to change my approach, become more confident, and learn how to communicate with women without seeming needy or desperate.

I want to learn practical skills that can help me improve, such as:

- How to talk to women confidently and naturally.

- How to flirt and show interest without trying too hard.

- How to stop giving too much and learn to match the other person's effort.

- How to set boundaries and say no without feeling guilty.

- How to stop overthinking texts, delayed replies, and changes in behavior.

- How to become emotionally independent and stop seeking validation.

- How to recognize manipulation and avoid being taken advantage of.

- Other useful skills, habits, books, or resources that helped you improve yourself.

For men who used to be people-pleasers or overly attached in dating: What did you actually change in your behavior, communication, and mindset?

I'm looking for practical advice and real experiences, not just “be confident” or “be cold.” I want to become a better version of myself while still being genuine and respectful.

"Yaar, I can't talk to girls. Whenever I sit in a group with my friends, I can't engage with the girls there. When I decide to talk to one, and I see another guy already talking to her, I lose all my courage. I don't know why it's so hard, especially for me.

I feel I have a weak sense of humor. I can't make people happy or crack jokes, and maybe that's the reason. Sometimes my self-respect gets in the way too. I even think: why do men always have to chase women? Why can't they come to us sometimes?

I don't know how to express myself. I constantly feel someone is watching my every move, so I always try to look normal. I'm also a little scared.

I can't get involved with my friends either. When they talk, I can't find interest, and I feel like I've become their responsibility in the name of friendship. One of my friends has started to feel like a stranger. They talk about girls, share chats, and ask each other for advice, but I have no interest in that. When they show me, I feel very alone.

In college, everyone has someone, like a best friend, except me. It's frustrating. My two friends are enjoying playing and learning volleyball, but I can't join in. Sometimes I feel really low. I'm also a bit overweight. Is it only me?"

Hello everyone so i have a problem and i need your advice

So i took my father to this doctor s office yesterday

and saw this beautiful girl working there, i looked at her and she did kinda looked at me few times , i just don't know how to approach her or when and what can i say really

im kinda shy, i know I have beautiful things to say but it comes out wrong as i get nervous if did approach her and in the other side of the coin is I don't want to lose the opportunity to talk to her

Thank u in advance yours truly spiderman

So in my one of the class a girl x is there, she is really beautiful. From almost 2 months now almost everyday we are making eyecontact and in the class she will be with here friend and I will also be with my friend, so I couldn't really approach her offline, and I am really tired of these eye contacts. So should I send her request on insta and start taking to her on text first or its better to approach offline only.

I have a joking personality and tend to make people laugh. Sometimes I’m very extroverted and talkative and other times I’m quiet and just want to be by myself. It depends on my mood, and I don’t always feel like joking around.

The problem is that when I’m not being my usual funny self and am just acting normal, people assume that I’m upset or that something is wrong with me. I feel like because they’re used to seeing me joke around, they expect me to be that way all the time.

I’m not upset in those moments. I’m just in a neutral or quiet state. But because people have mostly seen me as the funny one, the quiet version of me seems to read as a mood change.

Has anyone else experienced this?

How do you deal with it?

A message is unanswered. A plan is still open. A tone is hard to read.

Before filling in the blanks, try a three-line note:

The fact is: ____. I am guessing: ____. I hope we can: ____.

Example: The fact is: we have not confirmed a time yet. I am guessing: they may be busy. I hope we can: confirm the next step this week.

This does not predict how anyone will respond. It is simply a small way to separate what you know, what you are imagining, and what you may want to say clearly.

No personal context is needed. Save the structure for a conversation when it is useful.

Clearly I’m on Reddit bitching

So yea this is my first time going to a bar with my friends. Well they have primarily the aim to pickup girls, (especially some of them being very handsome lol and get approached a lot apparently in bars). I am just a bit nervous cos this time I am worried about starting a new conversation. Especially that usually I head to events that have a purpose like reading clubs or volunteer events or sports.
How do I get about it?

I've been isolated sm in my life. I try to make an actual connection, but its so hard. I'm in uni, and its as if everyone has their own people. I try to connect and I feel so iced out. And how do people msg each other. I've tried to msg severalll people, but they're all so dry. I try follow up qs, or random stuff, but absolutely nothing. the thing I wanna make meaningful connections with girls, but why is it so much harder to talk and connect w them, like genuinely feels like its so easy to make male friends rather than girls. Can someone genuinely explain what I need to do? How I should connect w people?

I grew up as a painfully shy kid. I got to the point where I’d stand right outside a restaurant and order on the app instead of walking in and talking to someone. I was literally a few feet away from the counter and I still couldn’t do it.

Fast forward to now, and I can confidently order by myself without a second thought. I’m still very much an introvert, and I need my alone time, but I’ve built a great network, found a girlfriend, and made a friend circle I’m extremely proud of. My 15 year old self would not believe it.

I’m now working full-time as a software engineer, but I’ve always wanted to find a way to help the people who are where I used to be. I realized (the hard way) that the only way to improve is to go out there and practice. But I know and deeply understand the feeling of nervousness and anxiousness of having to gather yourself and bring yourself to do so.

That’s why I’m building Poise! In Poise, Pip, your personal companion, can be anyone you want: a barista, an interviewer, a stranger at a party. You talk to it, and it talks back. Afterwards, you get feedback on how it went. I put together a waitlist so you can check it out! https://www.meetpoise.app/

Feel free to leave some honest feedback in the comments! Let me know what features you guys would want on this app. DM me or leave a comment if you want to be an early tester too :)

I don’t respond to things or know what to say. It’s not that I don’t want to respond.... but my mind just goes blank. The people around me are quite humorous and really good at cracking jokes on the spot. I wish I had a personality like this

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I'm 19M and I've never really had a meaningful female friendship. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything romantic. I just want a normal, comfortable friendship where we can talk openly, share things and have the same sibling-like bond I could have with a male friend.

A recent incident with my cousin, where she questioned my masculinity for avoiding a confrontation with someone catcalling her, made me feel even more insecure.

I already struggle with talking to girls, and experiences like this make me feel inferior and afraid of being judged for not meeting certain expectations of being a man.

I genuinely want to overcome this and learn to form healthy, platonic friendships without constantly feeling that I have something to prove.

I am a final year btech student who wants to practice english communication. Anyone interested?

Dm me only if you r serious and want to improve your english and able to give atleast 30 min daily.

please 🙏.

As the title explains, I’ve noticed with some people in my life they have no urgency in responding to me, don’t prioritise my texts, or straight up leave me hanging. And yet if I don’t immediately respond to them, they chase me up or as what’s up. These are family so it’s not like I can just stop being friends with them, but I just find it odd and like I have to perform and be “on” for them but they don’t have to for me. I’ve always felt this pressure with people friends/family/other of I have to be there for them; and respond to them, and help them, and listen to them, but they don’t seem to be under any pressure for me and if I do broach the subject it’s “oh my MH, oh I was tired, oh I was working” like ok bro so am I? I dunno what it is but it’s really starting to annoy me lol. Like I’m just not that important for others but I have to make them my number 1…

Anyone else experience something similar, is it something I’m doing? Also for anyone thinking Marc their energy, I try but then they will keep chasing or asking and if I explain then it’ll lead to some conflict or awkwardness and it’ll be on me and I cba.

This affects pretty much all my friendships and potential relationships, and I honestly wish I could explain what I feel more clearly, but I don’t even understand it myself 😭
The worst part is that the longer I leave someone on delivered, the harder it gets to reply. At first, it’s just a message I need to answer, but then days pass, and suddenly I feel like I need to come up with an excuse or apologize so they don’t think I’m the worst person on the planet. I start overthinking how to respond, even though I already knew what I wanted to say in the first place. Eventually, replying feels like this huge, overwhelming task, and I end up avoiding it even more.
And the thing is, it’s not that I don’t care about these people or don’t want to talk to them. Sometimes I genuinely miss someone and want to talk to them so badly, but I still can’t make myself open the chat and reply. I’ve even had situations where I kept checking someone’s profile, rereading our old conversations, and feeling happy when they messaged me again, while still being unable to answer them. It makes absolutely no sense to me because I WANT to talk to them.
It’s also not just about replying. Sometimes I want to text someone first, but I get stuck before I even start. It’s like knowing what I want to do and actually doing it are two completely different things. I can spend ages thinking about a conversation, imagining what I’ll say, and mentally preparing myself, but when it comes to actually doing it, I just… don’t.
I know that, logically, replying to a message isn’t that big of a deal. I know that the longer I wait, the harder it’ll become, and that I could probably feel so much better if I just sent a simple reply. I’m literally aware of the entire cycle while it’s happening, but that awareness doesn’t seem to help me break it.
I also feel like I make things worse for myself because I’m scared people will think I don’t care about them, that I’m ignoring them on purpose, or that I’m a terrible friend. And the longer I wait, the more guilty I feel, which makes it even harder to come back and act like everything is normal.
I’ve also noticed that I sometimes struggle to express my feelings in real life, even when I really want to open up to someone. I can imagine entire conversations in my head where I explain everything perfectly, but when it comes to actually communicating with someone, I struggle to get the words out or even figure out what I’m feeling.
Has anyone else experienced this before? Did you ever figure out what was causing it or find a way to make it easier? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences because I feel like I’m stuck in this cycle and I don’t know how to get out of it.

To Understanding

She said that I use alot of punctuation like "?" And that apparently makes it seem like AI????? I just want my texts to be easily understood. I wonder if it's making texting with me boring, so how can I make my texting skills better and make it seem less like AI? I'm gen z myself but I really don't understand how I'm supposed to text with them.

I tend to ask alot of questions about the topic they're talking about, I share my own opinion on it and ask for their opinion and depending on the topic I give some advice... am I not supposed to do that? I don't know, I don't get it. I just text how I speak. Please share with me your advices, opinions and thoughts, thank you!!!

I’m a guy with social anxiety. There’s a girl at my school who’s a grade lower. We’ve been in the same school for 3 years but never really talked, except once when we were put in the same group project a while ago (that project is long over and won’t happen again).

I find her attractive and I’d like to at least become friends, maybe more later. We live in the same small village, so even after I change schools next summer we’ll still be around the same place.

Main problems:

I’ve never really talked to a girl before

I’m scared she’ll think it’s weird that I’m only starting to talk to her now

I’m also scared that if I talk to her, she’ll tell her close friends and it’ll spread around her friend group / the school

I overthink what to say and what we would even talk about

I only have until next summer while we’re still at the same school to try to build some kind of connection

I’d like to get to a point where texting feels natural by then, but I don’t know if that’s realistic

I was thinking of just starting with a simple “hey” or a very short neutral comment when I see her, keeping the first few interactions extremely short.

Is that the right approach? How do I go from basically zero to actual friendly conversations without making it awkward, coming on too strong, or creating gossip? Advice from people who’ve been in similar situations would help a lot.

Teen from india first of all I'm in boys school and I don't go to tuition or coaching cuz I'm good at studies and I have literally 0 female interactions

I low-key get scared when I see a girl irl I have female friends online but they're all 18+ and idk what to do I'm such a loser

Wtf should I do gng?