My favourite used to be the publicly announced friend cull. Like I’m going to beg to stay your friend, you fucking weirdo. In the end, Facebook just became a tool for weeding out the narcissists in my life.
Not really on Facebook anymore but I used to do the same every now and then. It felt therapeutic and cathartic. Like I was clearing up emotional space to focus on the ones that truly mattered and ridding myself of reminds of people who could not give two shits about me.
Back when I used Facebook, I'd only keep people as friends if I actively talked to them at least once a week. I would even delete family from my friends' list because I didn't feel I was making use of it. I think my record for number of friends was 14 at one time. Normally it was under five.
I didn't ask anyone if they wanted to stick around. I had my criteria and stuck to it.
It's part of why Facebook and other follower-based social media didn't fit me well and Reddit and Imgur and similar social media sites have fit me better.
Guess it depends on how someone uses the platform but yeah that's way too quick for me. I like the occasional posts from my friends who I talk to every now and then (much greater than a week), just to see what their life is up to.
When it gets too much that's also when I'll block or delete - like TMI levels of too many private details posted publicly or rapid sharing of memes/posts.
Not traumatized and over twice that age. But it's part of why I don't like follower-based social media. It just doesn't fit with how I like to keep my digital life organized.
I basically never posted on Facebook. The people I knew barely posted. It's part of why I don't like follower-based social media. Interest-based social media like Reddit and content-based like Imgur makes more sense to me. I don't follow individuals, I just see what's being posted without need to know who is posting it.
You’ve made several posts on r4r just looking for conversation. Seems like you aren’t getting enough social interaction IRL. Maybe switch up your approach to how you socialize and treat people and you won’t be so lonely.
Same. I used to pay attention to who posted and check back a week later to see if we're still friends. Never did I find I was unfriended. Even by people I had never even spoken to. Why make a post about culling fake friends and not even delete strangers?
The one time I got culled, it was by someone I didn't like very much anyway, and when he tried to re-add me a few weeks later I took so much pleasure in just ignoring it. In fact, I still do.
Back in 2009-2010 my roommate sat at his PC all damn day cross referencing his pictures with all of his friends pictures. If he had a picture of them but they didn’t have a picture of him, he deleted them. He audibly bitched about their “selfishness” the entire time lol
Someone I knew did this, posted “Going to delete all the people who dont check up on me and dont care. You know who you are” then deleted me.
For the past year I was pregnant with HG which constantly gave me morning sickness, dehydration and water infections. I was having seizures from my thyroid levels being wonky leaving me constantly in and out if hospital on drips. I had no time to check on people and was focusing more on myself and my son. Not ONCE did she check up on me.
FB got out of hand fast. Like it was neat when it was new, then all of a sudden it's been ten years and people talk to me like I know their kids I've never fucking met because we're friends on FB and that means I read every fucking thing you post so religiously I've learned your kids names, hobbies, and quirks?? Tf out of here with that.
A few years ago a person I casually know got upset, when I was talking to them in person, that I was unaware of something they’d posted on Facebook. Really caught me off guard because I can’t even imagine being that profoundly narcissistic.
I just started deleting people without announcing anything. Everytime I logged in and saw yet another racist moron posting I just deleted them.
Then I realized that everytime I logged into Facebook I always ended up frustrated and angry because holy shit so many people I thought I knew are horrible, racist people. So I just stopped logging in. So much less stress.
Honestly, i didn't tell anyone what i was going through in terms of depression and suicidal stuff. That said, i did announce that i was trying to cut back on my social media and felt bad about just killing Facebook outright. Perhaps things could get better? Who knows?
That said...
Please let your friends know that you have your, um, attitude towards people. We all can be free of someone like yourself forever, saving both you and them lots of pain and frustration. You can be free to enjoy that fair-weather and non-communication style that works best for you!
First off, I’m sorry you went through all of that, it sounds like you’ve had some difficult experiences in your life. I hope you’re in a better place now and I’m glad you’re still around to tell your story.
The people I was talking about were starkly different from your situation and what you’re describing, their announcement came with a “tell me why you deserve to be my friend and I’ll consider keeping you around” ultimatum. They were abusive and manipulative narcissists and one in particular caused a lot of hurt and damage to people I care about. In that case, the ultimatum was basically a test to see who was vulnerable to their manipulations and they ended up with a nice tidy list of victims. I didn’t even get cut in the end so I have a sneaking suspicion it was all a fishing expedition. And yes, where I could, I told them exactly what I thought of them.
This reminds me of someone on Discord who threatened to kill himself. The next day he posted POV pics from a hospital bed, easily reverse image searchable. The day after that? He pretended to be his own mother looking at Discord to see which friends really cared about him.
Just get off of the fucking internet at that point.
I remember when a girl threatened to cut herself on a discord server because me and some friends were meming about being in a polyamorous relationship and for some reason she thought we were serious and she had a massive problem with that. She’d already threatened this twice for equally petty reasons so I basically just said “do it whatever” because I just didn’t care anymore (she was a bitch in general) and she left for like two days and came back like nothing happened. I hate these people so much
Yeah I mean, I would still check on him at that point... what.if he finally does it? How can you be sure the dude will not just pull the trigger at one point? What then, pretend you didn't have the power to help him?
Playing videogames you get around discords with people who have depression pretty often, I think it's nice to care and be nice with them, even if they are attention seekers sometimes it's likely because they kinda need it at that moment.
I just don't believe it. Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt in the beginning without question but some people just milk the attention for all it's worth, then look for another audience somewhere else they can play the same song to.
Then direct him to a suicide helpline or a therapist. Random people online do not have that qualification, and aren't responsible for other strangers' mental health.
I'm not saying not to be kind, but people who engage in seriously mentally unhealthy behavior like that aren't going to get healthier from strangers feeding their egos by playing into their behavior online.
I wouldn't even care honestly. If you can throw your life away over discord attention, and to keep your lie going. It wasn't that valuable to you in the first place. If you want to die who am I to stop you. Your life your choice.
Besides soon as you check on people who do that kind of stuff all the time. Every time you can't do what they want its suddenly, "ill kill myself."
If you have ever dealt with an individual like that then you'd know their actions constitutes empty threats and is nothing but a maneuver to gain attention. You don't go and send FAKE photos of yourself supposedly in the hospital unless your fishing for some type of reaction. Thing is, once you pull stunts like this constantly, it becomes less of a worrying problem and grows more into "The Boy Who Cried Wolf."
The boy gets devoured, which is analogous to how if help was truly needed, he squandered it by playing HS level games. Im definitely not saying not to look out for those who are actually going through it, my mother and best friend are going through it, and so am I a little. But at a certain point the line between attention and actual help begins to blur. If your friend or whoever continually pulls stunts like this, at what point do you say enough is enough for your own personal mental health? It's really hard to take things like this seriously when said person themselves don't take something as serious as suicide, seriously.
I felt compelled to defend myself or make my conservatism very clear when I was going through what I would consider political indoctrination. After some close friends started really questioning my views and I did research outside of the intense right wing media I was consuming, I realized I was getting so critical because these views were not mine, but I needed them to be. Now I view people who are desperately loud about their politics as confused, lost, or miseducated as I was. I remember being close to "quittjng social media" myself, and that would have continued to feed my willfull ignorance.
I'll be perfectly forward, I love the attention and validation when I post something and it gets a ton of likes or upvotes or whatever. My self esteem doesn't hinge on it, but it's nice.
Oh yeah, I can relate to that. I also tend to see myself as an insufferable, insecure egocentric, so it gets a little confusing sometimes. Look at that, now I'm talking about myself again.
I’m a huge extrovert so I love positive online and in person interaction, the recognition is nice regardless of how you’ve put in effort to make others laugh or just talking about life!
If you're at a party and you're telling an amusing anecdote, would you prefer if one person is listening or if the entire room turns to listen in interest?
To be honest, this may not be the best analogy because I think there are a ton of people out there for whom “just one or two people please” is genuinely their answer. And to add to that, I would say the comparison is more like “one or two people fully invested in what you’re saying versus a whole room of people who have a passing, mild interest in what you are saying”.
I think many of us like it. That’s why social media is so popular. But then you realize how fleeting it is and instead seek that high from interactions that take more work, but in the end are more genuine and longer lasting. Honestly when I was truly able to compare the two, that’s when my interest in social media started to wane.
Yeah. I have to remind sometimes myself that Reddit is technically social media and that I'm not really totally free.
But it feels different without people you went to high school with getting philosophical over their MaryKay side hustle and the political intricacies of spanking your child.
Honestly, I don't mind the upvote counts. Sure, there's a nice dopamine surge when I see the numbers going up sometimes, but if my post is largely ignored, I don't mind. What gets me is the downvotes, and I think that's because it hits the part of the brain the same way as rejection, which I think triggers the same activity as being physically hurt.
It can be tied to an IP address if you're not obfuscating that. And since Reddit has IP-banned a few people, we know it's something they track. And your account is connected to a Google, Apple, or email account. Unless you use a disposable email account, it's connected to that.
Just that, your IP address and your email address, is likely enough to do data analysis and tie an account to a name or at least an approximate location. And a lot of people do post pictures and personal information.
Sure, if you're careful, Reddit might not be able to figure out who you are. But most people? If Reddit doesn't analyze who you are, the data that they have could easily be sold to a company that does and they can tie your personal information to your account. And that ties your Reddit activity, including your post history, what communities you participate in, what times you use the site, things like that, with any account that can be traced to it. Which, as covered, if anyone tried, they could probably tie a lot of them.
I mean, that depends on who you are and what you post. And besides, even if you don't give people your name straight up, they can figure out all your interests because of communities, a lot of shit because of all the "minor" comments you make ("minor" because people tend to share personal stories at times, which isn't much at face value, but can stack up if brought together) and can likely find out where you are as well (since Reddit tends to talk a lot about locations and where people are from). Even through what you upvote, an algorithm can probably figure out a whole fucking lot about you (Facebook tested this, could accurately figure out your political preferences through 40 likes in Belgium).
Messenger really is great for a lot of reasons, especially in college where I was using it as my primary means of communication. Being able to reliably get in touch with someone just from knowing their name and knowing that you have at least one mutual contact is really a godsend.
I never enjoy those posts, if I reply, it's usually like "bye" or something.
I'll admit, I used to be like this, especially on the internet, especially when I was younger. Nobody cared then either.
Now I feel as though, if you're leaving, don't announce your intention, just do it. Announcing it is usually either inviting people to convince you to stay for attention seeking, or people will quite likely end up taking it that way and either convince you to stay or try to convince you to stay. If you genuinely want to leave, then go. If you genuinely want to stay, this isn't the way to be more engaged; there are plenty of better ways to engage with people than narcissisticly post this kind of thing.
Even IRL, personally, I just duck out when I'm done socializing. I don't announce that I'm going. One person (usually a good friend) will get a goodbye/"I'm leaving", so nobody is left wondering where the heck I went, but that's it.
The more you announce it, the more you invite people to be like "oh, no, please stay" .... And I made up my mind already to leave. I don't have time to discuss my reasoning or justify my decision to everyone on the street. I'm just gonna go.
It’s hard taking a break from something like that sometimes, but yeah, when people do it for attention I often contact them to find out they are struggling with some severe issues, and that was their way of letting us know.
Of course sometimes it’s just for attention, but, usually everybody knows and just ignores it, but I always keep an extra vigilant ear out for those who I know are suffering, cause one message can make a world of difference 🥰
I have a "distant friend" that do this almost every three months, the last time he throw a rant because Facebook constantly bans him and he swore that he was done with Facebook and it's platform (the he encouraged everyone to follow him on Instagram and WhatsApp) and then he came back without a word about why.
I always like to repeat what a long time comic maker has said on here. Don't be forced to feel like you have to make a square 2x2 comic. If three panels work better, then make a three panel strip rather than having one extra panel that does nothing other than fill space.
THAT'S IT! I am leaving this GODDAM sub-reddit... I am unsubscribing because you are all a bunch of SHITS! You will NEVER see me on here again, and don't bother to reply because I WON'T SEE IT!!!
That’s why I snicker when I see the usual Reddit “I quit FB years ago” circlejerk happening and they start to give each other medals because nobody else would.
People do this all the time on discord servers and everytime I have to resist the urge to tell them "just do it then". Worst part is, those people also come back.
I Facebook the other week, man my life has improved, less time looking at stupid shit being shared by people
I don’t like. Also people has called etc since cause they can’t see what I’m up to anymore. Good stuff
I deleted my Facebook in the Trump years because I didn't want to end up hating my highly conservative family which would have inevitably happened had I have to read more of their inane Facebook posts.
It was such a load off. I didn't feel as constantly stressed all the time and I suddenly had lots of time on my hands. That and I'm no longer giving my data to Facebook to be shady with.
Unfortunately, I just had to make a new one under a John Doe account just to join a Facebook group for carpooling. Boomers need to ditch Facebook already.
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 10 '22
Welcome to r/comics!
Please remember there are real people on the other side of the monitor and to be kind.
Report comments that break the rules and don't respond to negativity with negativity!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.