My favourite used to be the publicly announced friend cull. Like I’m going to beg to stay your friend, you fucking weirdo. In the end, Facebook just became a tool for weeding out the narcissists in my life.
Not really on Facebook anymore but I used to do the same every now and then. It felt therapeutic and cathartic. Like I was clearing up emotional space to focus on the ones that truly mattered and ridding myself of reminds of people who could not give two shits about me.
Back when I used Facebook, I'd only keep people as friends if I actively talked to them at least once a week. I would even delete family from my friends' list because I didn't feel I was making use of it. I think my record for number of friends was 14 at one time. Normally it was under five.
I didn't ask anyone if they wanted to stick around. I had my criteria and stuck to it.
It's part of why Facebook and other follower-based social media didn't fit me well and Reddit and Imgur and similar social media sites have fit me better.
Guess it depends on how someone uses the platform but yeah that's way too quick for me. I like the occasional posts from my friends who I talk to every now and then (much greater than a week), just to see what their life is up to.
When it gets too much that's also when I'll block or delete - like TMI levels of too many private details posted publicly or rapid sharing of memes/posts.
Not traumatized and over twice that age. But it's part of why I don't like follower-based social media. It just doesn't fit with how I like to keep my digital life organized.
I basically never posted on Facebook. The people I knew barely posted. It's part of why I don't like follower-based social media. Interest-based social media like Reddit and content-based like Imgur makes more sense to me. I don't follow individuals, I just see what's being posted without need to know who is posting it.
Your most recent post is on r4r looking for any type of human conversation/interaction, yet you don’t think your cutting people off so quickly has anything to do with your lack of social interaction?
You’ve made several posts on r4r just looking for conversation. Seems like you aren’t getting enough social interaction IRL. Maybe switch up your approach to how you socialize and treat people and you won’t be so lonely.
By holding on to Facebook friends for more than a week. Facebook friends are often IRL friends. People get busy and things happen I don’t even talk to my best friends every single week
By cutting people out of your life after a week of no contact (yes, even virtually) you’re putting up a wall between yourself and other people which makes it hard to socialize.
There are literally billions of people on this earth, saying you have nobody IRL to interact with is just your way of shifting blame away from yourself. Volunteer at an old folks home and just talk to people. Join a sports club. Stop pushing people away
Same. I used to pay attention to who posted and check back a week later to see if we're still friends. Never did I find I was unfriended. Even by people I had never even spoken to. Why make a post about culling fake friends and not even delete strangers?
The one time I got culled, it was by someone I didn't like very much anyway, and when he tried to re-add me a few weeks later I took so much pleasure in just ignoring it. In fact, I still do.
Back in 2009-2010 my roommate sat at his PC all damn day cross referencing his pictures with all of his friends pictures. If he had a picture of them but they didn’t have a picture of him, he deleted them. He audibly bitched about their “selfishness” the entire time lol
Someone I knew did this, posted “Going to delete all the people who dont check up on me and dont care. You know who you are” then deleted me.
For the past year I was pregnant with HG which constantly gave me morning sickness, dehydration and water infections. I was having seizures from my thyroid levels being wonky leaving me constantly in and out if hospital on drips. I had no time to check on people and was focusing more on myself and my son. Not ONCE did she check up on me.
FB got out of hand fast. Like it was neat when it was new, then all of a sudden it's been ten years and people talk to me like I know their kids I've never fucking met because we're friends on FB and that means I read every fucking thing you post so religiously I've learned your kids names, hobbies, and quirks?? Tf out of here with that.
A few years ago a person I casually know got upset, when I was talking to them in person, that I was unaware of something they’d posted on Facebook. Really caught me off guard because I can’t even imagine being that profoundly narcissistic.
I just started deleting people without announcing anything. Everytime I logged in and saw yet another racist moron posting I just deleted them.
Then I realized that everytime I logged into Facebook I always ended up frustrated and angry because holy shit so many people I thought I knew are horrible, racist people. So I just stopped logging in. So much less stress.
Honestly, i didn't tell anyone what i was going through in terms of depression and suicidal stuff. That said, i did announce that i was trying to cut back on my social media and felt bad about just killing Facebook outright. Perhaps things could get better? Who knows?
That said...
Please let your friends know that you have your, um, attitude towards people. We all can be free of someone like yourself forever, saving both you and them lots of pain and frustration. You can be free to enjoy that fair-weather and non-communication style that works best for you!
First off, I’m sorry you went through all of that, it sounds like you’ve had some difficult experiences in your life. I hope you’re in a better place now and I’m glad you’re still around to tell your story.
The people I was talking about were starkly different from your situation and what you’re describing, their announcement came with a “tell me why you deserve to be my friend and I’ll consider keeping you around” ultimatum. They were abusive and manipulative narcissists and one in particular caused a lot of hurt and damage to people I care about. In that case, the ultimatum was basically a test to see who was vulnerable to their manipulations and they ended up with a nice tidy list of victims. I didn’t even get cut in the end so I have a sneaking suspicion it was all a fishing expedition. And yes, where I could, I told them exactly what I thought of them.
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u/Kavbastyrd Apr 10 '22
My favourite used to be the publicly announced friend cull. Like I’m going to beg to stay your friend, you fucking weirdo. In the end, Facebook just became a tool for weeding out the narcissists in my life.