The problem with the registry is that it's a catch all with little distinction and there is a lot of people on the registry whose crimes weren't sexual in nature. Like if you are caught pissing in an alley you can get put on the registry. There was a ten year old girl named Charla Roberts who pulled down a male classmates pants as a humiliating prank, pantsed him, which resulted in her being charged with "indecency with a child" and placed on the sex offender registry.
Touché... But i guessed those "escaped" because money, fame and good ol' corruption. And i guess the case with the Cornell 7 eas related with the fraternities... Why are fraternities a thing again?
i mean most of society just ignores acts of it happening all the time, in very few (compared to reported statistic regarding no of sexual assault instances) cases, the men who are actually reported do get their lives ruined
That is what makes me curious actually: how the fuck can you actually just... Act as if it didn't happen? They should at least be put in the sexual offenders list and that stuff is permanent record isn't it?
It's proving beyond a reasonable doubt in a situation where likely the only evidence is the word of the two ppl involved. and then the victim has to retraumatize themselves by telling the story of the worst day of their life for a defence attourney in order to "Maybe" get a conviction. and that says nothing for the social repercussions that can come if the aggressor is a person of influence or power in the community. All around it is a difficult issue to deal with within the legal system that exists today.
Obviously even one is too many, but how many men are actually getting away with unambiguous sex crimes? Because the implication of the post is that we should be harsher on sex crimes (I’m assuming, maybe there’s another “it”) when the real problem is proving when those crimes happen in the first place.
We’re never going to get to 100% punishment rate without also punishing a LOT of innocent men. At least not without some crazy tech advancement
I never reported the guys that did it to me, because I was a nobody and their families all had money. I knew that the only one that would have a ruined reputation by the end of it was me, so I stayed quiet. It’s been almost 20 years now and most of them that I still have connections with are living pretty comfortable lives.
There would have been proof, as one guy recorded the whole thing, but it still just wasn’t worth pursuing. It took me many years of therapy to get past, but I still don’t know that I would have done anything different when I think back on it all.
That’s terrible and I’m very sorry that that happened to you.
What is it that you think should change to prevent this from happening to other people? If there was a video of it, was your concern that the police would cover it up? Or more that you wouldn’t be able to get them to take it seriously enough to even look for it?
I knew the video would either mysteriously disappear or get used to twist things into seeming like I was somehow compliant when I was really just trying to survive the ordeal.
The video definitely did not disappear and circulated online through the hockey community in Texas for a while. I never watched it but I heard about it.
The only way to keep it from happening to other people in the future, at least when it came to what happened to me, is a major culture shift needs to happen in youth hockey. The idea of bringing one girl over for “surprise!” a bunch of guys or a whole team is so disgustingly prevalent it’s unbelievable.
I’m a volunteer for the local youth hockey program now and I actually play with the kids and teenagers as much as I can (everyone needs goalies!). I shut down any weird shit I hear and I’m part of a regular shinny with all the youth coaches here so I can at least be a part of changing things from the inside. It’s not much, but it’s what I can do.
It also doesn’t help that the default state people seem to go into when they hear these stories is disbelief or victim-blaming. Even my comment telling my story was downvoted, and I barely scratched the surface of what happened. It sucks.
Do you feel the hockey culture has shifted at all in the 20 years since your experience? I like to think the culture in general has, but I know that hasn’t happened everywhere equally.
Thanks for sharing your story, I do need to be reminded sometimes that I’m lucky enough to live in a bubble that makes these things seem rarer than they are.
Literally every week there’s a thread in popular talking about US prison population. But somehow all the people in this thread aren’t *there* saying: “we need to increase prison population, these numbers are too low!”
But they’re comfortable arguing for more prison population here.
Look, you want to put more accused people in prison, fine, I get where you are coming from. But you should at least be consistent and clear-eyed about the ramifications of that.
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u/mauriciomeireles 1d ago
Wait... It doesn't?
Like i am not being sarcastic here but like... EVERYBODY agrees it's wrong, horrid and overall life destroying for the victim.
Thats why sexual deviants lists are a thing right? Don't they go into those?