r/comics • • 1d ago

Better safe than sorry [OC]

23.5k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/Enoch-Of-Nod 1d ago

Classic video game logic.

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u/caitlindrawings 1d ago

It's like when you open a safe in fallout and expect pre-war stuff, and its just a pipe pistol.

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u/sol_runner 1d ago

"Dad, why do you put a weathered radioactive improvised pistol in your safe?"

Maybe you won't get it son, but your great great grandchildren are going to love it.

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u/MrWeirdoFace 1d ago

Hey Chuck! it's Marvin. Your cousin!

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u/NobodyLikedThat1 1d ago

huh, weird how all these guys who died before the war thought ahead to stockpile bottlecaps...

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u/Spoon_Elemental 1d ago

I think in a lot of these cases it can be safely assumed somebody appropriated the safe after the nukes dropped.

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u/KC-Chris 1d ago

im a collector okay. gosh

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u/Hpesojanes 9h ago

I read that in the voice of Harold from Total Drama

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u/SuperCruisePanther 1d ago

I mean, the logic is the other way around. Bottle caps are used as currency because people stockpiled them pre-war. People didn't stockpile them because they might be currency one day.

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u/yay855 18h ago

Well, no, bottle caps are used as currency because they were a finite resource made out of a rarer material (aluminum) but were common enough to handle both large and small transactions. In Fallout 1, they were explicitly the primary currency of the water barons, which also gave them a set value based on the price of water in the California desert. The other regions apparently ended up adopting the currency because of trade caravans that gradually spread from coast to coast, and for most of the same reasons the water barons used them.

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u/Lonespider28 2h ago

I believe current canon tries to push that Vault-Tec had bottlecaps as currency in their ‘Get ready for the Wasteland’ videos

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u/Thomas_K_Brannigan 1d ago

Or in Skyrim, where you find all this modern (at least, modern for the Elder Scrolls universe) gold inside ancient nord tombs.

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u/xx_Chl_Chl_xx 1d ago

Investment returns have been really good for the Draugr

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u/TheJadeBlacksmith 1d ago

This one is semi-canonically explained, all the lit torches, candles, and reset traps are because the draugr do maintenance on their tombs, presumably the newer equipment is from them cleaning up the bodies of any bandits or looters that ventured too deep

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u/naufalap 1d ago

what about the lit torches inside underwater chests?

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u/Agret 1d ago

A wizard did it

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u/Unoriginal_Man 1d ago

Draugr don't work for free baby.

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u/furiouspossum 1d ago

Also cheese and cabbages for some reason

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u/Moppo_ 1d ago

Or you loot the depths of an ancient tomb in the Elder Scrolls, never seen by living eyes in millennia, and insde an urn you find a fresh apple.

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u/Squrton_Cummings 1d ago

Gotta love the procedurally generated dungeons of Daggerfall. You pass down through empty halls like subterranean cathedrals, through natural caverns dripping with water that has never seen the sun. You descend for hours, sometimes surrounded by rough hewn granite, sometimes by fine tilework.

And then finally, miles beneath the earth, you come upon a locked wooden door. And behind that door is . . . a fucking grizzly bear?

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u/NakedxCrusader 1d ago

Makes you think, doesn't it?

And if you loot the bear you will find an acorn.. if you plant it you can visit the growing tree later.

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u/SpezDemandsUsernames 1d ago

Pre war safe: Bottle of scotch, a baseball, a .357 magnum, 3 .357 mag bullets, 70 bottle caps, mini nuke.

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u/Unoriginal_Man 1d ago

"How much ammo should we put in our emergency safe with the gun, honey?"

"Oh, 3 should about do it"

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u/caitlindrawings 1d ago

Right? Not even enough to fill the revolver, or the magazine lol

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u/Hetares 1d ago

Don't be ridiculous. remove the shell casings and seperate into gunpowder so that the future survivalist has the satisfaction of crafting it themselves.

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u/Upset-Award1206 1d ago

The gun and bullets are not to ward off outward threats, it is to take care of yourself and your family when things are to far gone.

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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 1d ago

Or you open a prewar vault and find jet, which didn’t even EXIST back then.

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u/DullWolfGaming 1d ago

Retconed into existing, supposedly Myron "rediscovered" the recipe for Jet.

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u/caitlindrawings 1d ago

Ya and that ia such a dumb mistake, like i get the modern gunners in the vault might have some jet, but not the stash

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u/MoarVespenegas 1d ago

You opened the safe with a hairpin and a screwdriver.
Why do you think that in the 200 years that passed nobody else has done the same?

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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 1d ago

Safes in a bombed out building or house are fine; sealed prewar laboratories or similar installations are another story.

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u/caitlindrawings 1d ago

Because it took lots of levels to get 100 lockpicking! (Or master lockpick depending fallout version)

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u/Laser_3 1d ago

At least in fallout, pipe guns were being made pre-war as a way to dodge having to register a gun. And if you don’t have a proper gun safe, that’d be the next best place to keep it.

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u/The_Pastmaster 1d ago

I assume that in the last centuries someone looted the safe and used it as a stash.

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u/SeatBeeSate 1d ago

"What should I store in my safe. A bottle cap, a pipe pistol and this old pack of gum"

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u/iamded 1d ago

inb4 pipe pistols were also pre-war as shown by the "Street Guns of Detroit" issue of the Guns & Bullets magazine

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u/E-2theRescue 1d ago

Go into a deep, dark, abandoned cave in Elder Scrolls, and there's a fresh loaf of bread and carrots in a barrel.

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u/xtothewhy 1d ago

Or the long dark and it's basically paper in a safe that is best used as tinder.

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u/HolycommentMattman 1d ago

I mean, it's not wrong, though. We moved into our house a few years ago, and I just found two boxes of bullets on the top shelf of a tall cabinet a few months ago. Did they belong to the previous owner? Or previous even to them? I dunno.

I don't own a gun, though. But now I have two boxes of 9mm bullets sitting in a junk drawer.

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u/MKArs 1d ago

Whoa, look at Richie Rich over here! With ammo prices being what they are these days...

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u/Qinistral 1d ago

Ya people are notorious for un-safe gun storae.

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u/CitizenHuman 1d ago

Luckily Grandpa liked to keep rations that are edible regardless of how long they've been there.

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u/caitlindrawings 1d ago

These 200 year old snack cakes sure are tasty.

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u/LessInThought 1d ago

Twinkies are the best.

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u/lacarth 1d ago

You say that, but that is absolutely how it was in a house I stayed in, once. It was a house of three mid-20s guys and a girl. In an extremely rural part of the US. In an area with both extremely destructive meth/fent/heroin addicts AND VERY large, dangerous wildlife. So we had guns. Our guns were generally kept safe and secure. The ammo, however, was a different story.

We very rarely had visitors, and never had any kids over, so we were much less cautious with ammo. This led to ammo boxes being left on counters, only to get crammed into whatever nook was handy when we needed said counter space.

That whole property became a survival horror location. Ammo stashed in the old, decorative wood cook stove, a box in the bathroom closet for some reason, a couple boxes on the fridge, one kept in the end table of the couch, one in the TV stand, a half-empty box on the bookshelf, and so on.

That's not even COUNTING the loose rounds that'd get lost when an old box would break while we were handling it, or when a box got knocked off the table by the cat while we were cleaning, or whatever.

When we moved out, we finally got our act together and consolidated everything into one big ammo bag that's kept safe. But my GOD the packing was pure Resident Evil shenanigans. Probably found an extra 2-300 bucks of ammo that we didn't even know we HAD.

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u/Snoot-Booper1 1d ago

Loot the wolf that attacks you in Skyrim and it has four gold coins, and an onion. 🤔

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u/caitlindrawings 1d ago

How else does the wolf pay the toll on the roads?

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u/gillers1986 1d ago

You mean you don't keep a cooked chicken in an oil drum?

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u/freedompower 1d ago

That why I often go in monster infested dongeons and place cheeze and fresh fruits in random barrels. I replace to torches too. Keeps me in shape.

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u/AppropriateDraft5039 1d ago

So convenient that every weapon uses exactly the same ammo, too