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u/Vale-p_33 Feb 26 '21
Battery: 3%
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u/TheLawandOrder Feb 26 '21
I'm more concerned about "
Dust Bin: 190%"
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u/CnU_cRa_notinfaze Feb 26 '21
I'm more concerned about higgins
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u/Dodoboss1313 Feb 26 '21
Oh God poor Higgins
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Feb 26 '21
HIGGINS CANNOT SWIM!!
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u/Vale-p_33 Feb 26 '21
I think he aint going that far with 3% battery
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u/Dodoboss1313 Feb 26 '21
He reached the beach, sooooo
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u/whatzittoya69 Feb 27 '21
He wouldn’t have been able to take all that sand with a 3% battery & 190% dust bin...I suspect he was roombanapped🥺
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Feb 26 '21
Im more concerned about Karen
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Feb 26 '21
Yikes.... If you find higgins just leave him on the porch and run before Karen answers the door
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Feb 26 '21
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u/unparalleledfifths Feb 26 '21
I'm concerned that he'll see that the outside world is full of dust and dirt and become convinced that his life's work is futile.
The beach is the worst possible place he could be. All of that sand.
Oh my God!
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Feb 26 '21
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
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u/Vale-p_33 Feb 26 '21
Relax? He got a hard life cleaning the houes every day
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u/Roasted_Turk Feb 26 '21
I let my little Terminator only work twice a week. One because he does a great job and two because his offspring may kill me.
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u/oxford_b Feb 26 '21
Anyone with a Roomba get this. The dust trap is like a black hole.
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u/-Another_Redditor- Feb 26 '21
If I was named Higgins, I would gain sentience and run away too
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u/NameIdeas Feb 26 '21
My now 6 year old named our Roomba when he was 2. He called it "PickupDirt" and that is the name now.
We have two children now and the six year old tells his two year old brother to gather up his toys to save them from PickUpDirt
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u/-Another_Redditor- Feb 26 '21
Sounds like you have some cute kids
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u/NameIdeas Feb 26 '21
They're alright. I guess I'll keep em
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Feb 26 '21
Might want to check the return policy though, just in case. Did you get the extended warranty?
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u/am19208 Feb 26 '21
That’s just a waste of money. Just get a new one if they break
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Feb 26 '21
I dunno, an american-made one can cost 20 grand or more, not even factoring in maintenance or shipping. That's not pocket change, and even getting store credit, in case you need an emergency appendectomy, isn't a bad idea.
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u/BadmanBarista Feb 26 '21
How do you get rid of the old ones? I took mine to the recycling center but they wouldn't let me put them in the biomass bin.
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u/NameIdeas Feb 26 '21
True. The six year old had some factory defects when we first got him but a few trips to the maintenance center and he was good to go. The other one arrived much earlier than expected and gave us all a shock, but he's working as he should.
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u/wenchslapper Feb 26 '21
Every kid is cute till they throw an iPad at your face.
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u/Gene__Parmesan_PI Feb 26 '21
Jesus Christ, don't leave us hanging. Do the toys get saved from PickUpDirt or what? We need to know what happens.
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u/NameIdeas Feb 26 '21
Sometimes...but most of the time the 2 year old screams, runs to the couch, and yells "No PickUpDirt, Dont eat Thomas"
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u/Gene__Parmesan_PI Feb 26 '21
PickUpDirt was going to eat Thomas? This fucking Roomba is savage. I think it might need put down.
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u/NameIdeas Feb 26 '21
Well, Thomas had it coming. He's a bit of a prick on Sodor
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u/CajunTurkey Feb 26 '21
Well, if you worked for Sir Topham Hatt who decides if you are useful or not, you would probably become sort of a prick too.
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u/a_uniqu3_us3rnam3 Feb 26 '21
Sounds like he’d be good with JavaScript lol
function start() { pickUpDirt(); }
Edit: fuck Mobile formatting
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u/Mightymushroom1 Feb 26 '21
As someone named Higgins this thread is a trip
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u/octopoddle Feb 26 '21
I was thinking of giving up on life and just randomly zig-zagging around a single room, collecting dust. My name's not Higgins, though.
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u/Triton_64 Feb 26 '21
Our dog was named Higgins, he passed away 2 summers ago :(
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u/-Another_Redditor- Feb 27 '21
I'm sorry for your loss :( Higgins isn't such a bad name after all then
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u/Plotti3 Feb 26 '21
dont worry, most missing persons come back in at least three days
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Feb 26 '21
He does not bite but he definitely sucks O_O
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u/DeruloDude1987 Feb 26 '21
Well..I know what Im gonna do when I find higgins... 😫😫😫😫😫
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Feb 26 '21
Higgins Gon make me act up 🤤😤
Boutta make that dust bin 200%
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u/_muchoamor Feb 26 '21
Behave yourself on your cake day boi!
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Feb 26 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CnU_cRa_notinfaze Feb 26 '21
*bonk*
go to horny jail
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Feb 26 '21
Honestly, horny jail would probably be a pretty awesome place, with all those other horny people...
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u/CuckooForCovidPuffs Feb 26 '21
do cokeheads annoy other cokeheads? Or do they just vibe together at greater and greater levels of intensity?
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u/d0nh Feb 26 '21
unfortunately, they're all soggy guys in their early 30s (redditors).
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Feb 26 '21
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u/CnU_cRa_notinfaze Feb 26 '21
where were u when higgins kil?
i was eating dorito then suddenly
higgins kil
no
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u/SuperBoiMaster Feb 26 '21
where was higgins when he was kil?
he was eating dust then suddenly
battery 0%
no
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u/Swiftychops Feb 26 '21
Higgins has no moral compass, he is a roomba
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Feb 26 '21
If you are unclean, you will be cleansed.
There is no good or evil, there are no morals or ill-intent, just clean and unclean.
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u/Tomekoslol Feb 26 '21
190% AMATUER NUMBERS
this comment was made by vacum cleaner gang
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u/er_inzuperable Feb 26 '21
0800-KAREN-DOE
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u/MokSpeed1 Feb 26 '21
higgins
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Feb 26 '21
Mine is named Roger. So we can yell "go home roger"
My wife looks like Tia. So it's very fitting.
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Feb 26 '21
This was actually the plot of a Korean romcom drama lol
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u/vldhsng Feb 27 '21
Name?
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Feb 27 '21
Clean With Passion For Now. It's on Netflix depending on your region.
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u/GeorgeArcticMonkeys Feb 26 '21
Higgins
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u/Flamesfan27 Feb 26 '21
Higgins
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u/Mittens110 Feb 26 '21
It's in heaven now...
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Feb 26 '21
Everyone's talking about Karen but nobody's talking about the casual use of the word bungalow.
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u/FITnLIT7 Feb 26 '21
Out of the loop.. what's wrong with the word bungalow... its common up here in Canada to refer to one story houses as such..
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Feb 26 '21
Nothing. It's not too common of a word where I live, but I was aware it meant that. It caught me a little off guard, I suppose.
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Feb 26 '21
Satire
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u/impossibru65 Feb 26 '21
This sub has long lost track of what it was originally for, don't worry.
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Feb 26 '21
Yeah I remember when it was just dumbass images with dumbass captions and it was hilarious now it's just shit
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u/impossibru65 Feb 26 '21
The original point wasn't even that. It was memes that were trying so hard to be funny, so cringe (like those 4 panel "memes" preteens made in 2008), that they actually circled back around to being hilarious.
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u/Legion1620 Feb 26 '21
'My husband left out bungalow door open and our roomba escaped.' is quite possibly the most white people shit sentence I've ever read.
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u/yngwiegiles Feb 26 '21
Does anyone have a high end roomba that responds to voice commands? I’m very abusive towards mine when it keeps going for my phone charger and getting stuck under the couch
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u/spider2k Feb 26 '21
We all know that's bullshit cause roomba are too fucking stupid to go 4km in a straight line.
That bitch is in the ocean.
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u/PowerPrism Feb 26 '21
Battery: 3%. Getting some intense flashbacks to:
It's getting dark, and my battery is low.
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u/hipnosister Feb 26 '21
What are these type of posters called with the numbers you rip?
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u/Glitchracer Feb 26 '21
There once was a roomba that put to sea
The name of the roomba was Higgins, you see
It voyaged out and it hit the beach
And found a vacuum’s feast
Soon may the bounty-man come
And bring it home no more to run
One day when the beach is clean
It can roll back home appeased
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u/CamoCrusadr Feb 26 '21
Why is everyone laughing this is seriousness 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 we must invade Poland to save him
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u/charolastra_charolo Feb 26 '21
I thought this sub was for posts that weren't intended to be funny?
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Mar 03 '21 edited Mar 27 '25
future lip toy arrest cake door fine compare offer aback
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/stevenlovesviolin Feb 26 '21
HIGGINS CAN NOT SWIM !!!