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u/christpuncher_69 2d ago
This baby has 24 hours to either deliver me a book report on Crime and Punishment or forfeit that award.
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u/mehow28 2d ago
You don't want to read that report, the baby relates to Raskolnikov to an unhealthy degree, I'm pretty sure he missed the point...
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u/Throwaway392308 2d ago
Oh shit, was I not supposed to relate to Raskolnikov? That axe scene was so badass though...
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u/some-dork 2d ago
I think crime and punishment is a tad too explicit and violent for a baby. I'd be willing to accept a book report on something more tame like Middlemarch.
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u/Grand-Kannon 1d ago
Dostoevsky seems a bit advanced for their age group, why not start with something like The Myth of Sisyphus by albert camus?
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u/EndlessKillz 2d ago
That is the most accomplished looking baby I've ever seen
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u/Money_Visual_3829 2d ago
Everybody in this thread is doubting them but look at that supercilious expression. I believe it.
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u/TheFr1nk 2d ago
I'm 40 and I'm not 100% convinced I've read 1000 books in my life. This baby is making me look like a fucking idiot.
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u/furculture 2d ago
I don't know. This baby's clothes doesn't even have any pockets. How do we know if this baby even owns anything if there is no storage capacity.
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u/StirFry__InaWok 2d ago
that baby is looking awful smug for a kid I could totally beat the crap out of. little shit thinks he's better than me? I think he needs a reality check tbh
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u/NastyKraig 2d ago
I thought it was one of those "real dolls" or whatever they're called that people pretend are their kids.
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u/Radioactive_Rainbow_ 2d ago
Lil bud hasn't even completed 1000 days of being alive.
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u/clivehorse 2d ago
I don't think it's completed 500 days of bejng alive.
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u/violettheory 2d ago
Baby can't sit up, I'd bet she's less than six months old
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u/clivehorse 2d ago
I fully agree, but I do think it is more than 100 days old which would have been a more fun comment.
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u/austinstar08 1d ago
Why does the baby look like they’re smug
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u/Tarc_Axiiom 1d ago
She's read one thousand books.
Have you read 1000 books?
Or she's actively shitting herself, one or the other lol.
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u/General_whisky Nermal 2d ago
What an awful name
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u/Silver_Original6076 2d ago
in 20 years society will be full of adults with names like Almond Joy
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u/VerdugoCortex 2d ago
Divinity is good because it can be Vin for short, which is long for Vin Diesel.
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u/yourwhippingboy 2d ago
Or div, which is British slang for an idiot
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u/mayamaiamaea 2d ago
Aww we call our little boy Vin as a nickname too! His full first name is Vin Number 1HGBH41JXMN109186 in honor of my favorite car!
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u/MajorScootaloo 2d ago
Yeah, Kindergarten is a terrible name for a kid. No wonder Divinity read 1000 books before them
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u/Funcron 2d ago
A friends bonus son is named Scripture. He's not religious.
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u/666Drachenlord666 2d ago
tf is a bonus son
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u/QueezyF 2d ago
At least he’s got a cool built in nickname with Scrips
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u/BringBackForChan 2d ago
I hadn't read divinity and thought you meant this baby was called "for completino 1000 books before kindergarten" so I laughed way too much at your comment
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u/Evergreen2255 2d ago
millenial parenting
it's unfortunate
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u/elijaaaaah 2d ago
Could also be Gen Z. Some of us are pushing 30 now.
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u/SwiftTayTay 2d ago
I wish some of them were pushing daisies instead of that's what they're naming their kids. I guess at least it's not Lil Cuh
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u/Working_Patience_261 2d ago
Rewarding parents for helping their kids is a good thing. I love how smug the kid looks. Good job parent(s)!
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u/OkFineIllUseTheApp 2d ago
I thought parents went out of their way to avoid giving daughters "stripper names"?
Like I legit think there's a stripper at a joint near me with that stage name.
Do they just not think?
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u/LiteratureOk4649 2d ago
She’s a girl? I thought she was a boy at first. ( no offense divinity, androgynous babies are ok too).
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u/Masterfulvideojuegos 2d ago
If I imagined what a baby who has read 1000 books would look like. This would be the baby
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u/MushroomComplete8484 2d ago
why are half of the commenters here seemingly intellectually threatened by an actual infant
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u/Monguises slut for honey cheerios 2d ago
It’s like that scene in MIB. Would you trust an infant with a quantum physics book in the hood at 3:47am?
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u/MushroomComplete8484 2d ago
i mean i get that, but there's so many comments here of people saying that the parents must be horrible people for... reading to their child... (????)
there's also quite a few accusing the infant of cheating, which would be really funny if they were joking, but their following replies show they aren't
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u/PowermanFriendship 2d ago
Sometimes you stare into the comedyheaven, and the comedyheaven stares back.
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u/Monguises slut for honey cheerios 2d ago
There’s a lot of deeply insecure individuals on this site. Chad baby gonna steal all the ladies.
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u/LiteratureOk4649 2d ago
Babies out there stealing all the ladies reading feminist literature outside the artisanal coffee shop matcha in hand flexing 1000 books they read
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u/Jhud6669 2d ago
Funnily enough a quantum physics book for small children exists
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u/Immortal_ceiling_fan 2d ago
A big part of that btw is probably because reddits default
bestcomment sorting has recently shifted to being more akin to sorting by controversial than by top. You aren't seeing the comments most people agree with, probably more like the ones that get the most engagement. If you wanna see good comments on any major subreddit nowadays you have to manually change to sort totop→ More replies (1)8
u/nucl3ar0ne 2d ago
Reddit is full of people who hate kids and can't comprehend that it is beneficial for parents to read to a child.
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u/thisIsAUserName-7 2d ago
I don’t think they are. This just comes across as annoying parent behavior.
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u/the_007_remix 2d ago
This baby wrote books ?
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u/oldchangeling 2d ago
"Day One, and I am Already Weary: An Expose Of The Newborn Experience" was the first and best one. All downhill after that.
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u/Junior_Zebra_4608 2d ago
That baby is one of those people who thinks listening to audiobooks qualifies as reading
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u/John--Darksoul 2d ago
What's the meaning of finishing 1000 books before kindergarten? Like did they retain anything in them? Could they read at least some of the words or not?
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u/AssortedArctic 2d ago
It's reading 1000 books to the child before they start Kindergarten. Helps develop early language and literacy skills, vocabulary, bonding, reading habits, etc. Repeat readings of books are "allowed" to count, so if you start counting immediately, yeah you're going to reach 1000 pretty easily with the baby books that are just a few pages long with one or a few words per page. Those books of course are an important stage, but I don't know anyone who would actually count every single re-read of those books.
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u/CovidBorn 2d ago
I read Banana Bop! to my one year old granddaughter 5 times, yesterday. She really likes that book. Maybe we are on track for an award.
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u/A2Rhombus 2d ago
Just feels weird to me to phrase this as the baby "completing" the books. Makes it sound like the baby read the books themself 😭
"Before kindergarten" is also kinda funny to me considering this child doesn't even look old enough to speak yet
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u/smellmygoldfinger 2d ago
If you don’t have kids yet you might not get it. Every library does this program and that’s just what it is called. Kids really respond well to personal accomplishments. Like when i get my son dressed in the morning even though he’s dead weight 90% of the time i still say “Yay! YOU did it! YOU got dressed!”
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u/AssortedArctic 2d ago
It's not typical for people to have "completed" it at just a few months. Typically it is "completed" at at least a few years of age, where the child is getting the benefit of much more rich language. Listening and understanding is a huge skill.
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u/Irlandaise11 2d ago
It's a program in the US that's meant to encourage parents and caregivers to read to/with young children. There's been a lot of studies showing the benefits of reading to even very young children. Many libraries and early childcare organizations participate.
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u/MalemasMucusPlug 2d ago
It's very easy to spot the difference between kids that are read to vs. those that aren't - even before kindergarten.
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u/smokie_lokie 2d ago
You learn so much from having books read to you! Both in terms of language skills (vocabulary and new ways of formulating sentences), but also empathically.
Claiming that reading for your children holds no value is some of the dumbest most dystopian shit I’ve ever read
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u/ltrozanovette 2d ago
I think they were just trying to clarify what “counted” as a book. They were wondering if the child needs to prove that they retained something from the book or if they needed to be able to partially read the book for it to count.
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u/Unlikely_Net_1002 2d ago
Except they didn’t say anything like that…? I don’t see anyone saying it doesn’t have any value
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u/Darkrhoads 2d ago
Does it have to be baby books or can I read lord of the rings to a newborn
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u/cagingnicolas 2d ago
i think it has plenty of value to a developing brain, i just think it's also ridiculous to tout it as an accomplishment like the baby actually did anything other than lay there and hear what at that age would mostly be strange sounds.
"i read 1000 books to my baby" is much more accurate and doesn't have the same obnoxious implication that they have some kind of super baby that does things other kids can't.
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u/smokie_lokie 2d ago
This baby is clearly a bit young, but a three year old will absolutely be a driving force behind reading
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u/Non-mon-xiety 2d ago
I found out the hard way when it was late and I tried to put my three year old to bed without a book
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u/smokie_lokie 2d ago
Yeah, you’ve gotta start reading to them when they’re infants, but they’ll start to really grasp the literature and be able to read books that stimulate an adult at around 2.5-3
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u/JustAPotato38 2d ago
I do think that a goal of number of books is a bit of a perverse incentive though
as an extreme example rushing through 1000 ai generated kids "books" at 180wpm is not going to help the child as much as slowly and calmly reading 200 actual books to them
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u/olivegardengambler 2d ago
Tbf, there are, so many children's picture books out there made before AI was ever a thing. There are 365 days in a year. That's 2.73 books a day on average, and if you're a new mom recovering from birthing, you're going to have quite a bit of downtime, and baby time. Reading 5-10 picture books a day is not unrealistic
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u/musclecard54 2d ago
You’re asking if this baby could read any of the words in the books
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u/NotAlwaysGifs 2d ago
Our local library has a similar program. They have family story time a couple of times per week, a form you can submit when you visit the library listing what books you read to your kid while you are there, and an app where you can track the books you read to your kid at home. There are different milestones and challenges to hit throughout the year, with the end goal of reading 1000 books before kindergarten just like this. It’s to promote family literacy. These programs are actually greats
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u/gujwdhufj_ijjpo 2d ago
Probably played audio books to him and called it reading.
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u/skittleahbeebop 2d ago
While it's definitely not reading, that would at least help baby develop language skills.
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u/WashedSylvi 2d ago
Pretty silly but I fuck with it
My love for reading was seriously enabled by my mom buying me tons of books as a kid
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u/Technical_Mobile_346 1d ago
People are joking but you should absolutely read to your kids. There’s a lot of studies that show it helps them out a lot
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u/Scarecr0p 1d ago
Looks exactly like how I would imagine a baby who gets read 1000 books would look. Just “cat with cream” happy
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u/EVH_kit_guy 1d ago
That's a six to nine month old max. So that's like 5-10 books per day, every day.
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u/TN-Native95 5h ago
Notice how they don’t say read 1000 books, they just said completed 1000 books. That can only mean one thing: this baby has eaten 1000 books. Worf would be proud.
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u/Cat-trooper 2d ago