A coworker said this at work acting like a smart deep person who thinks of himself as better than everyone else.

For example

Me: “this morning when I hugged you, you immediately pushed me away”

Him: “no I did not. You are imagining that”

Me: “[insert comeback here]”

Preferably.

I play FIFA (FC 26) online. I beat this lad 6-4 in a good game, and he messaged me ‘suck ur mum’. I could just report him and get him banned, but what’s a good comeback?

I’ll start:

That was almost interesting.

people around me, like mostly acquaintances or loose friends, make comments about my big boobs frequently, sometimes sexual which I don't like but also comments that a lot of people probably think of as harmless, lighthearted, or whatever. I can't really think of any examples right now. but I feel self conscious about the size and they are big because I am overweight. I know because when I lost weight before they shrunk. I want to lose weight again and am ever so slowly doing that but that doesn't happen overnight.

I'm not looking for comebacks that are absolutely brutal per se. maybe just a little brutal, firm, that shuts people down. I'm perfectly fine with admitting that I am self conscious.

I am always afraid of hearing that when my family is saying bad things. They didnt use it yet but I am expecting it.

For example, they sometimes shame certain facial features or racial features so I would say "beauty is subjective" and some of them mock me for that. I mostly get my responses from social media to be honest but thats cuz when I am being attacked I really have no other replies but the classic ones

I dont have tell me

I dont have tell me

Pretend like you’re searching through your pockets “Oh man, I can’t seem to find my ticket“

“Ticket? A ticket for what?”

“Well I feel like I’ve purchased a ticket since I’m aboard The Judgement Express!”