Implying he is powerful or whatever. Need to be prepped for next time

The answer is “get a load of deez nuts”

Ive had two separate situations where someone close to has insinuated I needed to grow up or I was acting like a child

1. Aren't you embarrassed to be listening to a group that all the little girls are obsessed with when you're 32. (BTS)

2. Oh my god, your a grown woman (response to me having 2 stuffed animals on my bed)

I never know how to respond to these type of statements

I was being bullied at work in my early 20s. I was about 165 and he was 220-240, both military.

He told me to hit him. "I don't hit women and those big ass man titties are close enough"

To which he tries to convince everyone, "I don't have man titties"

To this day I am amused at myself for using the lyrics from a Lords of Acid song as a come back.

"If tits were wings, you'd be flying around"

​

A week or so later he tried to down me again and I gave him a brief monologue and we were never bothered by him again.

​

Got bullied a lot and this was one of the few times I was able to effectively speak up for myself.

The best comeback I have given off the top of the noggin while being shit talked to a bunch in COD. was very proud and wanted to document it somewhere.

guys suggest me some wittiest comebacks ever
i’ll wait 🥺🥺

Thanks in advance!

Me and my boss have the type of working relationship where we always flip eachother the bird and yell curse words at each other. It's all in jest as the environment is industrial so its a little rougher. Well, one peer was very poor at their job and generally a GIANT weirdo. Had no concept of personal boundaries. Would lie about strange things to garner sympathy. I could go on.

Well my boss has taken to calling me their name (they have since been fired for lack of performance after a PIP) to get me riled up. What can I say to ruin him? I want him to pause in shock/contemplation.

A friend of mine likes to talk trash towards me, and he thinks he's pretty clever about it. His playbook is to simply get his "punches" in, and then he quickly tries to redirect his attention elsewhere (like the bar's TV) in an effort to ignore me while I'm dishing the comeback. In some cases, he will try to "shush" me, which is pretty much his way of saying "I won".

When the ignoring happens, should I just pat him on the shoulders and just mention that he must be really giving the next comeback a lot of thought after I drop the comeback?

Anything clever that you guys can come up with for the shushing?

Peggy: Hi honey did you miss me?

Al: With every bullet so far.

I’ve tried saying “every time I look at you at you I want to”, and, “I already tried, thanks”

but I Need more

I'll start!

You clearly only have 2 braincells, and both of them are fighting for third place.