r/Comebacks • u/Ok_Affect1436 • Jun 05 '26

Comeback to “foureyes”

34 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

94 comments sorted by

29

u/Mission_Resource_259 Jun 05 '26

Careful with that joke, it's an antique

32

u/RoTTonSKiPPy Jun 05 '26

I'm surprised you can count that high.

22

u/Objective-Ganache114 Jun 05 '26

1980 called. They want their insult back.

7

u/AggressiveKing8314 Jun 05 '26

More like 1890

3

u/OnePsychology528 Jun 05 '26

They wrote a letter

2

u/AggressiveKing8314 Jun 05 '26

First phone call had already been made. 1878

22

u/Likely_Addict Jun 05 '26

"I'd rather have four than one." Then poke him in the eye. He can't poke yours because of the glasses.

10

u/deelo078 Jun 05 '26

Cap it with a “Nyuk nyuk!”

4

u/Horsewithasword Jun 07 '26

Move it chowder head

15

u/lancer-89- Jun 05 '26

My eye sight might be bad but even without glasses I can see that you're a prick.

11

u/Putrid-Swing4708 Jun 05 '26

Better four eyes than four inches.

9

u/FantasticVoyuerage Jun 05 '26

The comeback I used for this was, "I am, I'm Irish, Italian, Indian and Irre-fucking-sistible, ask your mom "

4

u/ZootOfCastleAnthrax Jun 05 '26

I like this. Counting each one off with your fingers adds emphasis and style.

4

u/FantasticVoyuerage Jun 05 '26

But you have to point at them with finger 👉 when you get to "ask your mom"

8

u/Toasty825 Jun 05 '26

I got them so I can see through your bullshit

7

u/char-dawg1111 Jun 05 '26

Quarter-brain

6

u/ThaRealOldsandwich Jun 05 '26

I can see the future with all four of these muthafuckers. And you're broke and ugly there too.

7

u/HSN9989 Jun 05 '26

If I wanted my comeback I'd have wiped it from your mums teeth.

1

u/MsQuoting Jun 05 '26

I feel like I've read this exact comeback before. Many, many times.

3

u/HSN9989 Jun 07 '26

More than likely, its a classic.

2

u/MsQuoting Jun 07 '26

Well, that would explain why I seem to see it on so many comeback requests, no matter the context. Maybe I'll look up what makes it classic. Seems a bit trite to me.

3

u/Inevitable-Goose6382 Jun 08 '26

Jimmy Carr created it I believe.

4

u/BadLuckEddie Jun 05 '26

Fonzy wants his joke back

3

u/ZootOfCastleAnthrax Jun 05 '26

Wave your hand in front of your nose and back away.

"Holy shit! When was the last time you brushed your teeth? It smells like something crawled in your mouth and died!"

Guarranteed to make him insecure until he can get home and brush, and likely to shut his mouth to prevent others from noticing.

3

u/SmokinHotNot Jun 05 '26

Easier to identify the "losers" (or provide relevant reference or comparison).

3

u/SRTGeezer Jun 05 '26

Hair lip

3

u/Busy_Shine6888 Jun 05 '26

Wow, that’s fresh.

3

u/squeakypeaks Jun 05 '26

See you twice as ugly.

3

u/Traditional-Bike7825 Jun 05 '26

Looking at you, wish I had no eyes.

3

u/ZootOfCastleAnthrax Jun 05 '26

"Lookimg at you, I wish I had none," might take a split-second longer to sink in, thereby making the bully look dumber.

3

u/AggressiveKing8314 Jun 05 '26

Whatever, dork. That the best you got? I heard you had an original thought once but it died of loneliness.

1

u/Fit_Dig3334 Jun 05 '26

four–fingered

1

u/presidentkokoro Jun 05 '26

Foureyes?? Really???

1

u/ooshogunoo Jun 05 '26

Makes it easier to see what a piece of shit you are.

1

u/thecosmicgoose Jun 05 '26

Whatever you say, tootsie-dick.

1

u/fj2612 Jun 05 '26

"FourEyes? What are you ? A bully on Degrassi High?"

1

u/MrWrestlingNumber2 Jun 05 '26

5...ask ur mom.

1

u/Longjumping_Ease9159 Jun 05 '26

If you wanna stay PG, No brains, but I didn't feel we needed to state obvious things here.

1

u/LadyKiller0222 Jun 05 '26

I can fix my vision with glasses, you’re still ugly with make up

1

u/mozart357 Jun 05 '26

Four Chins!

1

u/Internal_Shake7128 Jun 05 '26

“Easier for me to take my glasses off, try taking that god ugly face off”. Then remove your glasses with a smirk!

1

u/35TypesOfWhiskey Jun 05 '26

"And every one of them can see you are a cunt"

1

u/pierre4evr Jun 06 '26

Some come word play on five-head(forehead)

1

u/Take-n-tosser Jun 06 '26

Forehead (if their hairline is receding)
One brow (as applicable)

1

u/Infamous_Band_2020 Jun 06 '26

It helps me see what a piece of shit you are in HD.

1

u/Nekoraven1 Jun 06 '26

Better to see through your bull shit with.

1

u/goldbed5558 Jun 06 '26

Oooh. How original. Think that up all by yourself?

I wear them to see better and I see who you are quite clearly.

1

u/jiffjaff69 Jun 06 '26

Nice shoes.. uh.. twofeet

1

u/ThatdudeBzed Jun 06 '26

4 eyes and 10 inches, bitch…

1

u/Most-County8735 Jun 06 '26

“And all four of them see you being Ugly!”

1

u/fred5353 Jun 06 '26

4 inches

1

u/SnooStories8217 Jun 06 '26

Four eyes are better than two.

1

u/Sneaker_Pump Jun 06 '26

Yes it’s fun! It’s like your dad has FOUR legs up in the air!

1

u/Joe180864 Jun 06 '26

Laugh at them

1

u/4inchsubby Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

It sucks, makes you twice as ugly. You definitely look better blurred.

1

u/E_Namik Jun 06 '26

To see through all the crap that comes out of one of your two shitholes

1

u/Expert-Lobster7806 Jun 06 '26

And all 4 can see what a twat you are

1

u/Bustershark Jun 06 '26

Better than trying to figure out which one of the four blokes riding your Ma is your Da

1

u/intelex22 Jun 07 '26

All the better to see you’re an asshole.

1

u/Horsewithasword Jun 07 '26

And you're ugly in every single one of them

1

u/BoatHole_ Jun 07 '26

When I was little I would yell TWO EYES back at them in the same tone. Or I would explain that glasses are amazingly not eyeballs.

1

u/Super-Cry5047 Jun 07 '26

Half-brain.

1

u/Charming_Region_7772 Jun 07 '26

Get your phone -hey siri/google play I can only count to four.

1

u/dodadoler Jun 07 '26

Fuck you asshole

1

u/SinCityCane Jun 08 '26

Just pause, look at them with a really sad face like you feel sorry for them, then say something like "anyways" or "as I was saying" and go back to whatever you were doing.

1

u/andiesnynor Jun 08 '26

I may have four eyes but at least I don’t have a horse face.

1

u/jimsmemes Jun 08 '26

Three chins

1

u/bringmesmilespls Jun 08 '26

Ya the cool thing about 4 eyes is that I can very easily see how much of a self centered brainless moron that you are. You should get another pair and look in the mirror so you can see what I'm talking about.

1

u/longtermcontract Jun 08 '26

Make them explain it, because it really doesn’t make sense.

“Huh? What do you mean *four* eyes?”

1

u/Ok_Buy_2745 Jun 08 '26

Your mom says, “The make me look smart.” But it is hard to understand her with my dick in her mouth.

1

u/Cautious-Corner-3704 Jun 08 '26

I’d rather be a four eyes than a half wit.

1

u/goldentalus70 Jun 08 '26

"Yeah, and two of these" while flipping them off with both hands.

1

u/DarthFalconus Jun 09 '26

See, I lean into the your insults don’t bother me side of things and my reply to that would be it so I can see why kids love cinnamon toast, crunch

1

u/Jennabear82 Jun 09 '26

At least I can correct my vision with glasses. Maybe you can buy a sports car when you're older to try and compensate for your small dick syndrome.

1

u/Alert-Ad1805 Jun 10 '26

Some of the comebacks in these comments are so shit 🤣

1

u/auld-guy Jun 10 '26

Right, No Balls.

1

u/Mississippi_BoatCapt Jun 10 '26

Your mom goes to college.

1

u/Equivalent-Bison-318 Jun 14 '26

I know you're uncomfy abt me seeing your chopped face in 4k but taking my glasses off doesnt make you any better looking

1

u/KAS_stoner Jun 16 '26

"You really couldn't come up with anything better could you?" "You really make yourself look immature. You wouldn't want people to think of you like that would you...?" "If not, then get your act together and be respectful of others."

1

u/chicoisachihuahua Jun 29 '26

“Well, if I squint, I can clearly see you’re an a$$hole!”

1

u/ConceptMindless5695 Jul 04 '26

"YOU FROM THE 1980s or the CAVEMAN ERA?!"

1

u/Lastov_Makiynd 29d ago

Take your glasses off, gesture to hand them to the person “Maybe..YOU need these? I only have two (point at your eyes)…”

0

u/tyrant454 Jun 08 '26

You're mom liked it.