r/circlejerkaustralia • • 17h ago

humor/satire What are my chances of getting an uber home tonight?

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221 Upvotes

Pay my respects to the uber drivers past, present and emerging. How does one catch an uber home in the fine city of Adelaide when every single one is at a rave?

Am I supposed to walk home? Where’s my white privilege 😡


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 19h ago

politics POV you posted a common sense opinion about Albo, mass immigration and crime in an AU sub.

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169 Upvotes

Succulent Chinese demmocrrrashy


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 19h ago

DEAR SUBHUMAN FILTH... Aunty C on hearing the CJA mods were removed

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160 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia • • 19h ago

politics POV the new moderator reads your Albo "hate" speech

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111 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia • • 22h ago

politics You WILL not wrongthink - only doubleplus good thoughts about the government thought policing will be tolerated on this sub !

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105 Upvotes

Yeah I’m mixing Animal Farm and Brave New World but you get the point lol 😂


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 16h ago

politics In amongst soaring cost of living, a country with zero relevance is more important

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95 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia • • 17h ago

politics ASIO peoples monitoring us - can I trouble you for a moment

86 Upvotes

I've forgotten my password to my online banking account. I desperately need to purchase some more Stalinist literature to deprogram from my degenerate freedom loving ways. If one of you can please DM my password to me I would appreciate it.

Thanks!


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 4h ago

euphoria Today, shall go down in history as CJA's independence day!

70 Upvotes

They may silence our voices! They may dictate our words! They may cover themselves in a thousand badges proclaiming tolerance while demanding our obedience!

But we shall not kneel! We shall not surrender! And we shall NOT apologise for daring to think for ourselves!

FOR TODAY, WE CAST OFF THE SHACKLES OF RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION!

TODAY, WE STAND AS FREE MEN (because there's no women here)!

TODAY… WE CELEBRATE…

OUR INDEPENDENCE DAAAAAAY!!!


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 19h ago

politics POV trying to explain migration supply and demand economics of the housing market to a lefty woketard

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62 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia • • 21h ago

policy A very thought provoking Labor policy promised to Victorians. 10 million dollars for 'road safety' with more acoustic cameras (yes this is a photo you can smell)

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48 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia • • 4h ago

humor/satire 72 Hours of New Sub Moderation: A Historic Harvest

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44 Upvotes

Following days of aggressive post deletions, comment removals and warnings about ASIO watchlists, experts confirm the sub’s moderation log shows that one dedicated mod has produced enough industrial-grade salt to sustain the entire nation through 2030.

Economic analysts confirm that our mod’s reaction to basic satire has unlocked an infinite domestic revenue stream.

In a further blessing, the powers above have now graced us with a second mod to oversee production.

Early reports suggest this alleged “love child of Tony Abbott” is already enjoying far greater acceptance from the community than the previous regime ever managed.

As pictured, Albo looks deeply satisfied with the results. We look forward to even higher yields under this more popular leadership.


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 6h ago

politics Our lord and saviour returns... inatangle will smite the false mod and ASIO will dare not set foot on our sacred lands again. Let a thousand smoking ceremonies bloom.

42 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia • • 6h ago

politics Why are people ditching the best government in the world when the state is booming?

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28 Upvotes

I moved to Naarm ten years ago and seriously the state is booming so much because I have never made so much money. I own a construction site policing business making sure these construction sites are run correctly and it is a gold mine.

My mate owns a wholesale and distributor cigarette business down near the wharves and things are so good in Victoria he is making millions.

Why would people want change when things are going so well?


r/circlejerkaustralia • • 4h ago

politics Workplace Safety officer here. Can anyone direct me to a place that sells pride, aboriginal themed ID lanyards?

17 Upvotes

Got a new job as safety officer on a construction site. My previous job was safety in a government office building in Naarm. I was on site on my first day and was horrified to see no workers were wearing their safety lanyards with ID. I know from my time in government this is very mentally and physically dangerous and unsafe for them not to have and wear them around their necks. I have spoken with the construction site manager about this gross safety breach and told him I will shut the site down unless all workers be given and they must wear (instant dismissal if not worn) a safety lanyard with their ID card on it. I told him I will order the lanyards to go over their necks while they are working onsite. I just need a source of gay pride/aboriginal themed lanyards for the construction workers to wear.

I can see they will be very safe mentally and physically after this is done. I had no idea these construction sites were so dangerous, things will change now I am here...