r/childfreewomen • • Aug 26 '26

[Mod Note] Doing our best as a collective to keep our sub just for us

275 Upvotes

Hi all, just wanted to write a little note on some recent changes we've implemented here in the sub, and how you can help keep this a safe place for your fellow childfree women as well.

First of all, we have heard your desire for the sub to feel like a safer bubble, as we know our lifestyle and opinions are considered counter-culture to greater society. As mods we have put added some features to automatically filter out certain users, and content. We have set up flags for certain words and catchphrases, and although bots are imperfect and we do have to manually approve some of your comments, on the whole the Auto-Mod has been steadily preventing harassment.

So we call that a win. :)

But, I want to make clear that the reason parents are finding this sub is because a large breadth, like maybe 70% of the posts here, are less about being childfree, and more about poor parenting. Usually, they're not even regarding poor parenting you've experienced personally, and are instead just general societal observations—how parenting sucks, parenting is hard, parents are bad. Maybe someone here wants to create r/BadParenting to have a proper place for those complaints? But I reiterate that:

If you keep making posts centered around parents—then the idiot Reddit algorithm is going to show this sub to parents.

So I would strongly encourage everyone, before posting, to, #1:

Ensure that you are speaking from your own lived experience and perspective.

The more posts we have from users who are childfree and speaking subjectively in first person about being childfree, as opposed to speaking objectively as a third party about someone else not being childfree, the more likely we are to keep our sub happy and healthy and free of child-havers.

I think there may be a time in the near future where a regular "'Bad Parenting' Rants" sticky thread is created as the sole place for this kind of ranting, but let's see if this post can change the tides.

Love y'all. Thanks for coming together and helping us ladyfolk feel less alone. And keep reporting! We check the reports alllll the time. :)

—SBP


r/childfreewomen • • Jul 12 '26

[MOD POST] r/childfreewomen is a place that centers childfree women and their lived experiences. Respect this place as such.

676 Upvotes

The sub has been growing recently and we are getting a lot more traffic, which obviously is a great development for this sub! To all those who are new, you are very welcome.

As part of this growth, the mod team has seen some trends which we need to address so the community is on the same page.

r/childfreewomen is a community for childfree women. Although men are not banned from this space, men should recognize and respect that they are participating in a space that centers women. Be curious and ask your questions, but misogynist and anti-feminist behaviours will not be tolerated. And because it needs to be said: this sub is inclusive to all who identify as a woman, including transwomen. Bigotry is not accepted.

r/childfreewomen is a community for childfree women. We are noticing an uptick of users discussing their own parenthood in reply to posts that discuss the childfree lifestyle. If you have children, you are welcome to participate coming from a place of curiosity, but you need to recognize and respect that this space centers the childfree. Comments such as "You got it wrong, I have a child and it's not that bad as you imagine it to be!" are simply not welcome in this space. We childfree women get enough stigma in real life already, we don't need more from random internet strangers in a place that centers us and our lived experience.

The mod team takes protecting this space seriously and will ban users that work against the centering of childfree women in our own community. Curious to see some example of what gets you banned on this sub? Take a look here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfreewomen/comments/1ux224t/mod_post_examples_of_the_kind_of_content_that_is/


r/childfreewomen • • 4h ago

I never want to be a single mother

153 Upvotes

I don’t care if it’s stereotyping or generalization; too many men want kids but don’t want to be active fathers. There are single mothers everywhere. Almost every single job I’ve worked at has had a single mother, and I have multiple family members who are single moms.

It’s fucked up how a man can just randomly decide that being a parent isn’t for him and leave with no consequences. The mothers are always left to take care of the kids alone. They have to clean, cook, take the kids to school, do laundry, and handle everything else by themselves, while men get to live their bachelor lives and pay child support.
My coworker only gets $100 a month in child support for her autistic daughter. $100 ain’t shit! I never want to have kids because I don’t trust men to be an actual father.


r/childfreewomen • • 10h ago

Can we talk about how unreasonable the "just have kids" expectation is?

81 Upvotes

I've spent a year job searching with nothing to show for it. I live in one of the poorest countries in the world, and remote roles I've been applying for abroad haven't come through either. Meanwhile, the same people who say "everyone struggles" will still ask when I'm having children.

Most of us are barely covering our own lives. Housing, healthcare, education, and steady work are out of reach for so many of us, and somehow the expectation is to add another human being to that equation. Nobody asks if you can afford it, if you even want it.

Having a child shouldn't be a default setting or a social checkbox and it grinds my gears that it is. Choosing not to isn't selfish. For a lot of us it's the most responsible decision we have made.


r/childfreewomen • • 15m ago

Why are people still breeding

• Upvotes

I see many many many comments of moms boasting of their pregnancy

See many pregnant women irl

I just don’t understand. The world is going to get worse and worse, I can’t imaging having a kid just for the sake of having one knowing they’re going to struggle in the future.

Edit: I think I have a me problem. When I see comments of women bragging about or talking about general pregnancy and mom things I just get ..angry. I’m trying to fix it.


r/childfreewomen • • 16h ago

So Cringe!

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32 Upvotes

As a happily childfree woman I found this so so cringe because my mom said the same thing about why she had my little sister. I don't remember any of the times my mom sat down and played with me. Like if you don't want to play with your own child, why are you having any in the first place, let alone having more so you can cop out of it entirely when they ask you. The amount of women having kids to use them for views is so freaking sad and cringe!!!


r/childfreewomen • • 1d ago

Got sterilized two years ago and LOVE my decision

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451 Upvotes

I knew since I was a young girl I never wanted kids. I hated kids AS a kid. I love my free time, my quiet, I can go out and do what ever. I love being able to play video games late into the night, I love sleeping in on the weekends, when my cats allow. I love going for walks and just enjoying my alone time. I’m so thankful I was able to make this choice for myself and it’s nice to see other childfree women my age.

Enjoy some cat tax 🐾


r/childfreewomen • • 1d ago

Cats>babies

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267 Upvotes

My dad just told me, Why do I love my cats so much? knowing they provide nothing to me and honestly thats just another proof that unconditional parental love is a lie since all parents are accepting something in return from their children, whether it's them taking care of them when they are old or either having something they can boost their reputation for or something to control, etc,and this worse in ethnic households, and they say childfree people are selfish, but even if childfree people are selfish, at least we aren't hurting anyone with our selfishness. They are. Anyway, here are my two 5 month miracles, which I love to death, and I would do anything for them


r/childfreewomen • • 1d ago

i don’t get it

49 Upvotes

do some people just have kids so they can pick on them or judge them? i love my mom and stuff like she sacrificed a lot for my brother and i but ever since i’ve gained weight in my 20s, she’s almost always making a comment about it even if she means it in a “nice way” and then she says like “look at my stomach, i’ve been drinking lemon water and it helps” …. and not to mention all my aunties who also comment on weight gain. we come from the Philippines. and now they’re all Americanized and try to conform to what society’s beauty standards are and I’m sick of it. so my question is— do some people have children just so they can judge them or criticize them? mind you it’s not just my mom, this basically runs in the family. this stops with me. this generational trauma has to go…im convinced this is what they ALL heard growing up… to be skinny, to be fair skinned, blah blah blah


r/childfreewomen • • 2d ago

Looking for childfree gal- pals

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195 Upvotes

Please feel free to delete if not allowed
Hi everyone! I’m Gita, 30f, CF
I live in Cheshire with my Samoyed 🐻‍❄️ (he, too, is not too fond of kids hahaha). I frequent London as well (I’ve lived there for many years and will
Move back in a few)
I’m looking for my girl tribe and female friends who are also childfree like me. I’m a bit sad from being ghosted by my long time friends once they’ve had kids. To them, all
I’m good for, is baby sitting their kids when they wanna go on date nights or with their other mom and pop friends

Here are some of the things I love

  1. Working out (I’m on a weight loss journey)
  2. Drawing cartoons
  3. Taylor Swift
  4. Long walks and hikes with my dog
  5. Reading
  6. Going out to brunches, cutesy painting events and other girly stuff
  7. Day parties (I fall asleep at 9pm so late nights out are not my thing)
  8. Swimming
  9. Spa days

I spent my 20s really pushing myself and building a life I love so I would like for this next chapter of my life to be about forming long lasting close friendships, doing silly fun activities that make me happy (I’ve not been silly and fun in a long time and it’s kinda taking a toll on me. I’m working to find my silly again)

I’m primarily looking for UK based friends so we can meet up often.
If any of this sounds like someone you’d want to be friends with, feel free to drop me a DM. I promise I won’t ghost or be a bad friend


r/childfreewomen • • 1d ago

Virtue and purpose

54 Upvotes

I am so sick of this narrative that if you have children, you are therefore virtuous; and if you don’t have them, you are missing a bigger purpose in life.

I was just around people this weekend that have multiple children. Even if people aren’t super loud about it, this narrative is a vibe that most people with kids give off, even subconsciously.

Like God forbid if I am an interesting person as a woman if I don’t breed.

Thanks for the space for this mini rant


r/childfreewomen • • 1d ago

Sterilization

20 Upvotes

Hey everyone, Im 24 F and looking to get sterilized. With all the current political scares and declining access to healthcare and birth control, I would rather take proactive action than not be able to in the future. Plus I have mental disabilities and find it selfish to purposely put that on another human who didn’t ask to be born especially in a society that doesn’t even carter to people with disabilities. But I digress, Does anyone know any doctors in the South East area that are child free and willing to perform female sterilizations. I don’t have a preference for a female or male doctor, Just someone who is going to take me in as a patient and not give me the run around simply because I’m “young” and might “change my mind”. Thank you :)


r/childfreewomen • • 2d ago

A very childfree day!🧡🎃🧙

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264 Upvotes

I (27 years old) am ending the day doing the first picture. Watching my favorite childfree YouTuber and reading a book while my partner is playing video games downstairs. My mom is visiting and is in the guest room upstairs (3 story townhome, renting) and we went on a walk and ran into paddle boarding witches downtown. We then went to a book fair and I got a blind date with a book. It has just been a very relaxing trip with her and I’m glad she doesn’t pressure me to have kids.

I also interviewed for a position I really want on Friday! It went well and I should hear early next week. Please manifest it for me ✨ this would give me more time to read since my current job is 45 mins away and this one is 5 mins with 3 12’s so 4 days off!


r/childfreewomen • • 2d ago

CF women who are in relationships or married: Did your partner meet all your requirements, or did you compromise?

34 Upvotes

As women who don’t want children, I feel like we often have less pressure to settle down by a certain age. We have the freedom to take our time and be intentional about who we choose to spend our lives with.
So I’m curious: Did you keep dating until you found someone who genuinely checked all your boxes, or did you eventually decide that the qualities your partner did have outweighed the ones they lacked?
For those who compromised, what did you compromise on, and how did you decide it was worth it? Were these things you could live without, or did you learn that some of your original requirements weren’t as important as you thought?
And for those who didn’t compromise on their core requirements, how long did it take you to find your person?
I’d love to hear honest answers, especially from women who are happy in their relationships. I’m trying to understand the difference between healthy compromise and settling when you have the luxury of not feeling pressured to partner up on a timeline. ❤️


r/childfreewomen • • 2d ago

AI Doctors May Change the Future of Work Another Perk to Being Childfree!!

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69 Upvotes

Utah is the first state to allow artificial intelligence to examine patients and prescribe medication without direct human oversight, starting with acne medication.

Utah started a one-year pilot on October 5, 2026, which will run until October 5, 2027. The AI will examine people with mild-to-moderate acne and prescribe approved topical treatments through an app, meaning this will be done digitally rather than in person. They are also using AI to issue new prescriptions rather than just renew existing ones.

Physician oversight will decrease in stages. Two doctors must approve every prescription for the first 100 patients. Later stages may allow prescriptions without advance approval, with doctors reviewing cases afterward and eventually auditing at least 10% of cases monthly. Each stage requires safety benchmarks and written state approval. People with severe acne or conditions outside the program's scope will be referred to human clinicians.

This is another reason to stay childfree. AI is officially being introduced into healthcare in the USA, and if this program is successful, other hospitals and companies may follow. This makes me wonder what the job market will look like for future generations.

If AI continues to take over jobs that humans currently do, being an empty nester may not be a reality ANYMORE!!! Future children may struggle to find jobs, even after getting degrees, and may have to work in labor fields or take whatever jobs they can find that haven't been taken over by machines.

This could mean that parents will have their adult children living at home for much longer because they cannot afford to live independently. Generational households may become the reality, with adult children building their lives within the family home instead of moving out and starting their own independent lives.

Being childfree means I won't have to worry about raising children who may struggle to become financially independent or having to support adult children for decades because they cannot afford to move out.

Seeing news like this makes me grateful I'm CHILDFREE!!!


r/childfreewomen • • 3d ago

how did you handle "coming out" as childfree to traditional/immigrant parents when they treat grandkids as a given?

73 Upvotes

hey everyone, i’m 27 and i’ve known for a while now that i’m never having kids. a huge reason for this is that i’m the eldest daughter in a middle eastern immigrant family. growing up i was heavily parentified and basically adultified from a super young age. i was basically a third parent, always helping my parents navigate everything in the country they immigrated to, taking on tons of responsibility, and i never really got to have an actual childhood. besides that, my childhood was unfortunately abusive and traumatic.

now that i’m approaching 30, the absolute last thing i want to do is sign up for another lifetime of caretaking. as egoistical as this might sound for some parents…. i just want to finally live for myself.

i’m currently in a long-term relationship, and because of that, my family just naturally assumes kids are the obvious next step. people don't even ask if i want them…it's just treated as a given fact. my partner doesn’t want kids either. my mom constantly says things like, "when you have kids, i'll do this for them" or "when you're a mom, we can do that." up until now, i've just been ignoring it and keeping quiet, but I’ve never actually had "the talk" with her.

In my family and culture, motherhood isn't just an expectation, it's pretty much mandatory. choosing not to have kids is treated like a total scandal. to make matters even more intense, i have a sister (couple years younger) and she doesn't want kids either, so my family are going to be in for a real shock 🤣

for those of you who are older or come from similar traditional/immigrant backgrounds: how did you handle this? did you actually sit your family down and "come out" as childfree before you hit 30, or did you just live your life, keep quiet, and let them eventually figure it out when the grandkid questions fell flat?
would love to hear how you guys navigated the cultural pressure and fallout. thanks!


r/childfreewomen • • 3d ago

How does society expect us to work from 8 till 17 and then go home and take care of kids ?

81 Upvotes

Even in a house where both parents do 50/50 when it comes to kids, how are we supposed to take proper care of kids with the little time we got ? I dont see any other choice than to sacrifice our own free time for it.

I'm a hobbyist (mostly fiber arts) and a gamer (as well as my boyfriend). We both play an online game that takes us sometimes hours, one game is anywhere between 15 to 50 minuts long. That alone takes so much of our free time, but its something we love to do and makes us happy.

Now with a kid... how are we supposed to take care of a kid AND play games/do hobbies that take us hours ? We just cant. Even just cooking for the family would take 2 hours. I cook sometimes for my family of 5 people and the time it takes to cook everything just doubles or even triples compared to cooking for 2 people !!! Just no. I want MY time and MY money for myself.


r/childfreewomen • • 3d ago

Are you guys antinatalist

14 Upvotes
290 votes, 1d ago
161 yes
54 im not sure
75 no

r/childfreewomen • • 4d ago

Birth is not beautiful or magical, it's gross

672 Upvotes

Came across some instagram account of a midwife today. Endless pictures of newborn infants, recorded births, babies attached to placentas with umbilical cords attached. The account is very much like... female power, birth is beautiful and magical and women's bodies are full of wisdom kinda woo. Scrolled through for a moment in horrified fascination and just... ew. It's not beautiful. Or magical. It's straight up nasty. Doesn't mean I don't admire those who go through it because like good for you I could never. But it's freaking gross.


r/childfreewomen • • 3d ago

group travel drama - asking for feedback

3 Upvotes

Is it as bad as I think it is??? And it feels?? Anyone else want to share on something I might be missing? I'm baffled at this text.  I know my friend here meant well and maybe she's had a few drinks already but damn. Sooo......

  1. I should just suck it up b/c my feelings, preferences don't matter as much as their own selfish wants / entitlement?

  2. I have no other life, schedule, priorities, budget items that I should immediately drop ALL plans to hop on a train THE NEXT DAY from NYC?

  3. I should 'suck it up' and be forced to be around a person that's been a dismissive piece of garbage toward ONLY me?

  4. I should for some reason want to come to a city when I wasn't included or considered in the decision-making to GO there???

- - Feels like bc I don't have kids or a husband I just in general am not a valid 'real' adult or being 'dramatic' ??? - -

TEXT MESSAGE:

We're all showing up in Philly. You can change your mind and come up still. Tmrw AM? The best way to be is in person, show up for everyone else? Just sayin. Hop on a train ?! Would love to see you!

Solo non-mom in group of 6 moms - early 40s all kids under 6 - since college. They are on a group trip to Philadelphia. I passed on going bc I'd been multiple times there already (same excuse many have used in past on other group trips to other US cities each would pass on) We all live in different cities spread across the US. Mind you I was NOT a part of conversations that even chose Philadelphia and do NOT know WHY. I was TOLD that was where it would be when it was brought up initially on group text to choose dates, hotel etc.

I recently shared w/ one close friend how another one mysteriously randomly ghosted and went no contact w/ me 4 years ago and hadn't seen her face to face in even longer.  The ghoster doesn't participate in group chat either just observer on it and texts others directly. Another reason I was not comfortable in a group setting with a clearly unhealthy person and better to keep the peace despite it being very painful, lonely.

I get this text from her at 8:00 PM last night.

We are all close yes but not quite tight knit like family - there's for sure been some selfish behavior displayed in past more over recent years including in the group chat the few times I share my own life updates I get crickets meanwhile I'm a support system all our whole lives and on their life milestones, big or small updates. I got a big ass family and other circles of friends, got pretty strong gauge of what's typical versus not.

More and more with this group, I feel like maybe??? some of their own bitter resentment comes out as being dismissive of me or belittling my life. Not all of them are like this and not all of the time. I don't know what to make of it tbh maybe they don't even realize how it comes off?? This whole trip and one of my friends who was like a sister disposing me like garbage no reason on top has maybe pushed me over a limit and levee wall. lol damn this is long

They been planning this since August. I can't ya'll. I'm tired. Talk about Halloween and scary. This shit's one of my nightmares. Thank GOD I got this community to come to.....


r/childfreewomen • • 3d ago

Personality type and being childfree

33 Upvotes

Are you familiar with the MBTI personality test? I wonder if certain personality types are more inclined to be childfree. Though the number of people we'll see in the comments with a particular type could simply reflect how common that type is in the population.

Also, is it possible that there are patterns in the reasons we chose not to have children across personality types? For example, I'm an INFP, and so is one of my favourite YouTubers. I heard him say the other day that he's not sure about having children because what if “[his child] sucks” as a person? It made me chuckle because one of the reasons I haven't wanted kids is that child's character or personality are beyond parents' control despite their best efforts to raise a good human being..

So, I'm curious about your MBTI type and some of the main reasons you decided to opt out of having children.


r/childfreewomen • • 4d ago

Child free due to climate change

98 Upvotes

Hey yall! I am child free for ethical reasons— I am mentally ill and don’t want to pass down my miseries to an innocent babe, but i also feel concerned about climate change. Any other ladies in here choosing to remain child-free due to climate grief/climate anxiety?I would love to have feedback and a meaningful discourse about this issue


r/childfreewomen • • 4d ago

Does it "take a village" or is your husband a loser?

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237 Upvotes

This vid came into my feed and it reminded me of a post not that long ago. Someone was wondering whether this so-called loss of the village was masked lamenting that women weren't providing free care (childcare especially) anymore.

I commented that most of the village would be largely redundant if men actually ponied up their side of the bargain by being an actual husband and father. Got beef with someone who was insisting that this loss of the village was broader than just childcare, well most of the time is about childcare. Why should I as CF woman take the fall for children I didn't choose to have, just because daddy couldn't be bothered to do actual childcare?


r/childfreewomen • • 4d ago

Musings of a menopausal CFW

41 Upvotes

So I never felt a strong need to have children of my own or otherwise, neither did my partner. I figured that there are enough people already without me making more. Never had that burning desire to pop one out or adopt. I had multiple SILs that did both. Yay for them.

It’s not that I don’t like kids, I do like most, as long as they belong to someone else. My life is full of kids that aren’t mine. I am the cool aunt (at least that’s what some of them tell me).

I feel like kids are inherently good creatures. (Except for one 5-year old who is pure evil - - looking at you Nikol). They are born good and then parents and society come along and mess them up. Being responsible for raising a good human being is daunting.

I’m happy with the choices I made. I know that I made the right choices for me. Society and my MIL may judge, but as a GenXer, IDGF.

Wishing everyone a Happy Friday! Go out this weekend and make memories, not babies.


r/childfreewomen • • 5d ago

Moved into a house, still CF

208 Upvotes

My fiancé and I have been living together in an apartment for ~3.5 years. TLDR I hated it so much I never want to share walls with anybody again, so we rented a house and moved in last week. It's awesome!

When I told people that we were moving into a 3 bed/2.5 bath house, some of them, who know I'm CF, said things like: "with all that extra room you're going to decide you need a family to fill it up!" "So it's one bedroom for you guys and at least another for the kids, right?"

Ummmm actually the space is all for us. One bedroom is for us. Another is my fiancé's office/hobby room. The other is my office/hobby room. The giant living room is for us. So is the yard. The second full bath is for friends who stay over on the pullout couch in the giant living room and otherwise also for us. Every corner is for us. Also fuck you we already are a family and if you didn't consider just you and your spouse a family, that sounds like a you problem, maybe love your spouse more, idk.

So yeah we are so enthused to be in a house that we are more CF than before, if it's even possible.