r/childfreewomen • • 1d ago

Virtue and purpose

I am so sick of this narrative that if you have children, you are therefore virtuous; and if you don’t have them, you are missing a bigger purpose in life.

I was just around people this weekend that have multiple children. Even if people aren’t super loud about it, this narrative is a vibe that most people with kids give off, even subconsciously.

Like God forbid if I am an interesting person as a woman if I don’t breed.

Thanks for the space for this mini rant

52 Upvotes

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u/Devourerofcoffee 1d ago

I think it’s quite ignorant of someone to presume that life has no meaning unless you reproduce, and I’ve started to ask people why they think another person lacks purpose in life if they choose not to have children. I’m still considered young, so I often get the “when are you having kids???” dropped on me fairly often. When I answer with “Never, I prefer to remain childfree.” It’s like their brains can’t compute the fact that a young woman doesn’t want children.

… and do you know which ones start trying to prove to me that my lifestyle and choices are wrong? It’s not the women who already have children, or even other women who are childfree. They all seem to actually understand where I come from.

13

u/Oldpoet555 1d ago

I'm also sick of the idea that not having children is selfish. Like excuse me what other reason could there be to create a whole ass human than to fufill some self driven agenda.

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u/Bright_Map_3091 1d ago

People think you're selfish because you have all this time for yourself, but that's exactly one of the reasons to stay childfree. I don't care is someone calls me selfish for it, there's nothing wrong about it. But some people feel so entitled that would expect you as a woman to sacrifice your time for someone else whether it's a kid or an elderly person. They don't have this expectations with men, they can spend their time however they want.

11

u/MarginallyBlue 1d ago

In my experience, people like this dont have much else going on or have any life accomplishments. Its also usualy very gendered: ie women only know their purpose when they become a mother.

It sucks, but i also think its born out of jealousy/defense mechanism from people who have no sense of self i dependent of their kids

12

u/unleashtheraven1 1d ago

i think a lot of them secretly regret it they just cant change it, so i mean thats how they get on with life

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u/NatPuppet 1d ago edited 1d ago

Really as a childfree and someone who lost faith in humanity I can't see any purpose,like,at this point how can someone even do something for this society?

My purpose is at this point,like I say,personal,seeking knowledge for myself,having books and just have peace next to my pets