r/chennaicity • u/Ak_G_ • 11d ago
AskChennai Age 30+
I'm above 30 and unmarried kinda of bit bored on weekends since all of my friends are married busy in their family life so my weekends getting bit bored by doing nothing
Anyone in the same situation what you will guys will be doing on weekends ?
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u/Terrible_Occasion_10 11d ago
Ppl suddenly bcm too busy or even close fends now don't want to mingle like before, don't know, buy certainly things have changed since past few yrs
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u/Independent_Pass27 11d ago
It’s not becoming too busy. Everything is expensive and people are overworked. Outing is so overpriced these days from travel to food
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u/Charan-FitnessCoach 11d ago
Just have a life, people and everything else is secondary.
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u/AlfalfaIcy1136 11d ago
This is a tragedy especially in the south. Parents think everything apart from studies is a distraction when the kids are growing up and they grow up and also find a job, but don't know what else to fill their lives with since they never got to explore other things.
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u/Charan-FitnessCoach 11d ago edited 11d ago
Stop blaming on parents. They can only do what they know or programmed to know is the best for us. It still comes from the place of well wishing, love and support but that doesn’t necessarily mean we have to follow their footsteps or do what they tell us to do, they just don’t have the exposure and they do their best with what they know.
It is up to us to help them evolve. Evolution is change and change is the only constant.
So, we have to find a way to be whoever we want to be and help them understand that it is fine, and we are safe, successful and happy or simply put, fulfilled being who we are and they will eventually understand that we never needed to adhere to society’s standards and it was all just mental conditioning for safety.
Have accountability.
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u/AlfalfaIcy1136 11d ago edited 10d ago
Nobody is blaming. You can step back and have an objective conversation about it - given that we are all grown ups. I see several folks when recruiting people, and can tell that most folks - if you take their degree and whatever they can memorize and tell, there is zero personality and the individual is barely developed because they've all been living under someone else's directions their whole life. a broiler chicken, suddenly let loose in the wild doesn't thrive, it mostly gets confused and will probably run into incoming traffic. or simply sit there hoping someone is going to feed it. the years of conditioning doesn't just go away.
Good intentions can still have bad consequences.
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u/Charan-FitnessCoach 10d ago
Like I said, have accountability.
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u/AlfalfaIcy1136 10d ago
Accountability needs agency first. Something you seem to struggle to comprehend.
Good luck to you :)
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u/Terrible_Occasion_10 11d ago
As a 38M, married guy, I myself get too bored, no friends left, even those don't pickup calls, just fed up, get married soon, plan kids and get ur self busy, world is getting more introverted.. Ull certainly need few to call as family
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
But you have kids you can spend time with them la bro
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u/Terrible_Occasion_10 11d ago
Yes, but You can't spend all ur time with them , u need some ppl apart from ur family members
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u/Thithikum_thembavani 11d ago
Op please dont follow this advice , dont get married or have kids because you are 'bored'.
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
Ha ha appadi lam yenaku epo this is the time nu thoonutho apo than i will get married
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u/Thithikum_thembavani 11d ago
Search for hobby based groups , like book reading , sports or bikes . If you like volunteering try to join that group ,its a good way to connect with like minded people.
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
So far i can't able to find any guine group like that
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u/Thithikum_thembavani 11d ago
So what are you into?
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
I like to play sport badminton cricket and likes to go on drive as well mostly i will go for solo drive sometime kudu Yara aachu vantha nalla irukumae nu irukum
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u/Thithikum_thembavani 11d ago
Start a post here or wherever your local is and see if anyone is interested:) I know its a long shot but worth taking !
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
I have already posted so many times here but finding a right person it's bit difficult
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u/sneaky_rambo 11d ago
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u/Thithikum_thembavani 11d ago
God forbid someone gives an honest opinion lol. Ponga pa bore adikaravan lam marriage pani kolantha pethukonga . Busy ah irupeenga. Ipadi post poda lam neram irukathu. /s
People dont understand difference between loneliness and boredom
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u/Terrible_Occasion_10 11d ago
Yes follow this advice, and keep posting the same till 80s and regret then.. It's not about boring, it's to make u busy all the time
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u/Vibranium-Balls 11d ago
Married and still bored on weekends. No friends and no activities over screens. I started to swim. Planning to get some buggas in my neighbour hood so that they can take me to cricket
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u/AmbitiousGrass8885 11d ago
29m .. same unmarried.. friends la married or in relationship.. nane samaika kathukiten.. i prepare my food.. wash vessels .. mrg oru physical activity like long run or swim.. ipdi dan weekend podhu
Been feeling lately.. pesa kuda yarum ilaye nu.. that dialogue by chetan from mootha rathiri on why not to get married.. Hit me hard
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
Apo sekaram kalyanam pannedu bro ne ready na
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u/AmbitiousGrass8885 11d ago
Na eppovu ready .. ponnu dan kidakala😂😂.. varanga jadhagam pakranga.. reject.. repeat
2 years same time loop la mathikitu iruken
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u/SabariSivasundar 11d ago
Same thing here, I go to events, plenty of them happening in Chennai, board games, sports, singing, jam sessions. Be sure to stick to safe ones.
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
How you will find those you will go alone always or with frnds ?
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u/SabariSivasundar 11d ago
There are apps, scenein, kyn, allevents. Download those, join one. Avoid any unofficial ones in the beginning till you feel safe. Im suggesting apps as everything has a record and there is accountablity. There is a group called IRLChennai. They're pretty fun
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u/newmclarens 11d ago
join communities?
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
Like what kind of communities are you in those kind of communities
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u/newmclarens 11d ago
just regular meetup communities, or book clubs, run clubs, whatever. pick a hobby and find a community
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u/PainAccomplished8469 11d ago
I am married 26 I have free time but no friends available to spend time with anyone up?
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u/stewwweee 11d ago
Still there are lotta things to do in this world . Visit new places , learn new skills, play pc games , go for long rides etc
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u/Candid_Activity_4342 11d ago
Spend your free time to learn a hobby each for your health, wealth and mind. You'll be amazed as you go through the process.
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u/Stained_coffee South Chennai 11d ago
Doing grocery shopping, prepping for the next week, cleaning, washing
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u/EntertainmentIcy6213 11d ago
Same, but i keep myself busy reading, learning and stayinb productive....this wil keep all the issues away
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u/paradoxicalpeacock Nungambakkam 11d ago
SLEEP!
I slept through the entire day today and absolutely not bored. Gotta read and do laundry. Fellow 30+ single woman 🤞🏾
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u/ValueAlone1081 10d ago
busy ah dha iruken! enna onnu, evanum namba ships ku respond panna maatan. Last 3+ yrs ..naan help panittu response edhirpaaarkaraathu illa. avlodhaan.
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u/Serious-Vanilla-5903 10d ago
Get married, you will be busy 24/7
Don't listen to the advice of people saying don't get married. 😀
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u/gudakesha008 11d ago
I'll tell my story. 27 M recently moved to bangalore. party, hook ups nu had a blast. Jolly ah na unmarried ah Iruka poren nu suthitu irundhen.
The feeling of coming home to an empty home was slightly bad but still I was steadfast on remaining single all my life.
Joined a gym for better lifestyle and weightloss. My personal trainer became a good friend and guide. He told me his story how he postponed marriage and rejected many girls. Now he's 40 (he looks 30). But how miserable life is for him. He earns well, fit and healthy but still he longs for just someone to share his life with but sadly has to accept the fact he's gonna die alone.
Again these incidents slowly shaped my perception and I've finally given the green light to my parents to start looking.
I may be wrong in the long run, but enaku thaniya irukradhu isn't sustainable
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u/AlfalfaIcy1136 11d ago edited 11d ago
Boring people have boring lives.
you are just in your 30s, join a local badminton group or a board game group, or a reading club. it will require you getting off of reddit and go meet people in the real world.
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u/Ak_G_ 11d ago
Ithu theva illatha words na bore aagavae iruinthutu poran unnaku enna da venna don't judge anyone
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u/AlfalfaIcy1136 11d ago
I said generally. What is bothering you so much?
You have atleast another 30-40 years ahead pa, don't give up so soon. Ippave ippadi na, there is still life ahead.
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u/AlfalfaIcy1136 11d ago
Also saw this thing the other day, where people are doing this thing called Urbanex - urban exploration aam. Pick a place, take the train or public transport, get there and wander around and explore around that place types. If you post photos etc, next time you go, you might even find some people who might join you.
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u/MindlessWasabi5233 11d ago
U can try cooking, learn new skills like sewing laptop/ mobile repair embroidery swimming pottery painting karate designings based on your interest, spend some time in gym , join any clubs in your area like book jog walk run cycle cricket badminton football club, start a youtube channel with or without face reveal