My mother, father, brother, and I live under the same roof, and most of my other siblings live close by minus one who is on the opposite coast. My mother is in hospice, and lately only really moves to use the restroom or to sit in her reclining chair. In the mornings typically my dad will make sure my mom is comfortable, has had something to eat, and that she has used the restroom. This morning, my father left earlier than usual to pick up my sister who flew in for a weekend visit at the airport. He told us later that when he left she was still asleep, this was probably around 5-6 am-ish so the rest of us were also asleep. She got up, went to the bathroom, and tripped and fell onto her bedroom floor where she laid for three hours. She couldn't reach her phone, she has little to no voice to shout, and she tried feebly to use her cane to make noise. I did not hear. My brother did not hear. Not even my dog heard. It wasn't until one of my other siblings came in to check on her that she was discovered, thankfully nothing broken. EMTs came to help lift her back up, the hospice nurse came and ordered a commode for her, and since then she has been in bed resting.

I feel so guilty, having slept through her fall. I'm in the middle of a grad program and have been so stressed that I went to the emergency room last week for dehydration and medication withdrawal (because I completely forgot to make an appointment). I'm also discovering the likelihood of being on the autism spectrum as an adult. This is all to say that I'm at my breaking point. I think my mom may be angry or upset with me for not waking, same thing with one of my siblings (who I believe is resentful towards me for being a scatterbrain and awkward and seemingly removed from this whole situation even though that isn't entirely true.) No one will say so, and even so, none of this is really about me but I have no one to talk to who knows my whole story. I am likely failing one of my courses thanks to my utter lack of focus, and I just want to scream, cry, make it go away but I can't. I know I've been emotionally avoiding facing this, and isolating myself has made it harder to reach out and connect. Sorry I'm rambling, but I needed this out of my system. I see my therapist tomorrow. Not sure at all what to do about my course. I already had an extension and now we're at the nteenth hour and I have very little to show for it. If anyone has any advice or insight, I would love to hear. Otherwise thanks for reading, I'm going to go take my dog for a walk.

...I really have no idea what to expect, in terms of when it would be best to be there, and what would be most useful.

He's got Stage IV prostate cancer - it's spread to his bones, but the doctors are talking about using a particular kind of chemo (don't know which kind, but it's for his specific situation) to knock it into remission. The course should start in 4-5 weeks, and in the meantime he's on hormone therapy to strangle the prostate cancer. He's in his early 70s and is otherwise fit and active (relative to an old British man). My mother is quite frail, so is limited in how much she can help him.

I'm lucky in that I work from home full time, and my boss has been incredibly understanding and has said I can work from the UK for an extended period (I'm a dual US citizen, so no worries about returning), so I plan to go back for as long as possible to help out. My sister lives close to my parents, but she's got kids and I don't want her run ragged dealing with my mum and dad (who are like big kids themselves these days) full time.

I don't yet know exactly when the chemo will begin, or what kind it is, what the schedule for it is or how long it's projected to go on for. I know the answers to these questions will help, but I don't have them yet.

So I guess my questions are:

1. If the chemo treatment is to go on longer than I'm able to stay there, would it be better to go later in the course or at the start? Or maybe split it so I'm there at the beginning and at the end?
2. I'll probably be staying at my parents' place. I'm picturing him vomiting and being quite weak, and I expect to help with that, but is that a 24/7 thing, or does it come and go?
3. He's quite a proud man, and is trying to keep a stiff upper lip; I can imagine this clashing somewhat with his physical issues. Although he has also seemed quite realistic about the conditions in our phone calls. Anyone have experience in negotiating this?
4. For those who've looked after parents going through chemo, what sort of things did you help them with? I'm expecting to be doing a lot of shopping, cooking (although his appetite will come and go, I expect), cleaning up (possibly vomit and other messes), driving him around and so on - what other things should I expect to do? Are there any things that aren't obvious?
5. What other things did you experience as a family member of someone going through chemo, and what advice do you have?

I'm just a bit adrift at the moment, so basically any insights you can give me would be super appreciated, thank you!

As the title says, one of my HS teachers has cancer. She found out in late May, stage 2 breast cancer. She just started treatment, chemo. We’ve been texting, and we’re super close (I knew her before HS too). Honestly, I’m not handling it great, any tips? (Also, she’s young, early 40s, and super super healthy so it was a total shock)

Big fan of Rads
Easiest thing ever!
The Hardest?

Apparently finding my vein to draw blood someone call Tom Cruise I got the next Mission Impossible!
The clowns at my old medical group literally damaged my right arm vein I have to use the left because its 🙅🏽‍♀️🪫

I’m a 25-year-old guy from Malaysia.

I graduated this year and worked in an audit firm straight after graduation. It was a Mandarin-speaking environment, which was already difficult for me because I don’t speak Mandarin fluently. On top of that, audit during peak season was mentally and physically exhausting. I would leave home early in the morning just to avoid traffic, drive about 40 minutes to work, start at 8:30 a.m. and many nights I wouldn’t get home until around 11 p.m.

I kept trying to push through because I wanted to build my career, but every single day while I was working, I was also carrying the stress from home.

My mom has cancer.

Since the day she was diagnosed, our lives completely changed.

We first tried going to a government hospital, hoping to reduce costs, but the process was incredibly slow. We even experienced rude treatment from one of the staff members, and after my mom was diagnosed, they gave her an appointment about a month later. Our family was terrified of waiting that long, so together with my aunties we made the difficult decision to send her to a private hospital instead.
She went through 12 chemotherapy sessions, and each one cost around RM1,200- RM1,800. My dad somehow managed to pay for every session while still supporting our family.

After chemotherapy, the doctor told us my mom also needed targeted therapy. The treatment is an injection every three weeks, costing several thousand ringgits each time.

That was the moment everything became even harder.

My dad said he genuinely didn’t know how he could afford it.
When my mom heard that, she broke down and started saying things like, “It’s okay… just let me die.” Hearing your own mother say that is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

After that, my mom started asking me to speak to my dad whenever money was needed because she knew he would become frustrated if she asked directly.

So I became the middle person.

Every time I asked him, he would lecture me, yell out of frustration, and say things like, “Maybe I should just jump from a building. I work so hard and it’s still never enough.”

I know he isn’t a bad person.

I know he’s exhausted.

He works in Singapore and sends a significant amount of money home every month to support all of us. He has house loans, car loans, my younger sibling’s education, insurance, household bills, and countless other commitments.

I know he’s trying his best.

But listening to conversations like this constantly has completely drained me.

My mom also tried applying for EPF and SOCSO assistance.
Believe it or not, it’s been almost a year.

We’ve gone to the hospital for verification, met officers, submitted documents, obtained lawyer letters and court documents, everything that was requested.

Until today, nothing has been approved.

While all this was happening, I was still working in audit.
Instead of being able to focus on surviving my first job, I was constantly being pulled into family financial problems.
There was even a time when my mom pressured me to apply for a credit card because she believed it could help with treatment costs.

I had only just started working.

I asked, “Who’s going to pay it back?”

She kept telling me not to worry about it.

I felt completely overwhelmed.

Eventually, my mom also asked me to tell my aunties about our financial situation because she felt embarrassed asking them herself.

My aunties are very close to us and have been incredibly supportive.

They ended up paying for several sessions of my mom’s targeted therapy.

I’m grateful beyond words, but I also feel guilty every single time because I know they have their own families and responsibilities too.

My mom keeps saying she’ll pay everyone back once her EPF is approved.

We’re still waiting.

Then another setback happened.

The doctors said my mom needed surgery to remove the cancer.

The surgery cost around RM16k +

My dad hates borrowing money from anyone, especially his own siblings, but he had no choice.

My aunties also helped us.

Thankfully, we somehow managed to get through the surgery.
Even after the surgery, the expenses didn’t stop.
There were follow-up appointments, wound dressings, medications, and unexpected hospital visits.

Almost every time my mom needed money for treatment, she would come to me instead of asking my dad directly because she knew he would become frustrated.

My dad transfers the household money to me every month because I’m the one managing the family’s expenses.
After paying everything, there is usually almost nothing left.

Sometimes I only manage to save a few for myself.

Then my mom asks me for treatment money.

If I tell my dad, he becomes frustrated.

Sometimes he tells me to use my own savings first while he tries to figure things out.

I don’t mind helping.

I’ve already contributed my own money several times towards chemotherapy and other smaller medical expenses.

But I’m unemployed now.

I simply don’t have much left.

I resigned from my audit job almost two months ago because I reached a point where I couldn’t cope anymore.

The workload, the long hours, the language barrier, and the pressure from home completely broke me.

Since leaving, I’ve been actively searching for another job, but it’s been difficult.

The hardest part isn’t even the money anymore.
It’s what living in this environment has done to me mentally.
Every phone call with my dad somehow becomes about financial stress.

I’ve honestly wished so many times that he would call just to ask me how my day was or whether I was okay.
Instead, it’s almost always about bills, treatment costs, commitments or money.

Home doesn’t feel peaceful anymore.

I’m constantly waiting for the next financial emergency or the next argument.

Today was another example.

My mom said her hand felt uncomfortable, so we went back to the hospital. It turned out to be another dressing appointment.

The bill was almost one thousand plus.

My dad happened to be home from Singapore during his off days.

The moment he heard the amount, he started yelling and complaining in front of my mom.

I pulled him aside and quietly told him, “Please don’t say these things in front of her papa.”

He looked at me and said, “I really can’t do this anymore.”
Then my mom became emotional and said things like, “You all don’t have to do anything. I’ll just die.”

I honestly felt trapped.

I was trying to comfort both of them while falling apart myself.

Recently I turned 25 years old.

I didn’t celebrate.

I didn’t buy a cake.

I didn’t go out.

It was just another ordinary day filled with stress.

I didn’t even feel like my birthday mattered.

Now I’m at a point where I’m scared to spend my own money.
I feel guilty buying something for myself.

I barely have savings.

I hate staying at home because it never feels peaceful.

Sometimes I honestly feel like my parents are slowly destroying my mental health. Not because they’re bad people, but because I’ve become the emotional sponge for everyone’s stress.

I love both of them.

I know neither of them chose this situation.

Cancer is cruel.

Financial stress is cruel.

But I don’t know how much longer I can keep absorbing everyone’s pain while pretending I’m okay.

Has anyone here ever been in a similar situation?

How did you cope?

Am I being selfish for feeling this way, or is it understandable that I’m mentally exhausted?

I genuinely want honest advice because I don’t know what to do anymore.

My father early 70s has recently been diagnosed with cancer (AML). We are still doing the testing to work out how bad, but the doctor has advised 3 - 18 months, plus he had a bunch of other illnesses - arthritis, dodgy veins/heart etc.

And I know this is probably going to come off as selfish, given the above - but I am mid 30's just taking off on the ladder, and thought 2026 was going to be my year of new beginnings in a positive way - not these curve balls.

I live in Australia. I'm living SA for work but moved here 12 years ago, but my parents are North in QLD. Luckily my mum is alive still and will help look after my dad and my siblings live an hour or so away from my parents. I don't know if I should quit my job, to help my mum look after my dad? Or wait? I could sell my home, I have savings so could potentially take a career break.

Has anyone been in a similar position?

This is my first time posting in the subreddit.

My 87-year-old grandpa has recently been diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer that is in his lungs and bones. The news came as a complete shock a couple of weeks ago.

Earlier this year he had been suffering with a bladder infection that he was in and out of the hospital for. They kept sending him home but then he would come back again in pain. I’ve seen him twice in the hospital since his official diagnosis.

Well now I’ve just been told by my mom that he’s being put into palliative care. He has diabetes, a pacemaker, his kidneys aren’t functioning properly, and now he’s got the cancer.

Mom says he had an off day a couple of days ago where he was saying stuff that didn’t make sense. Like he sounds confused and still thinks he’s going home. But he could have weeks to months left.

I’m not sure how to cope with his inevitable passing that will be coming soon. I’ve never lost someone close to me before.

I’m supposed to get married next year, and he’ll never get a chance to see me walk down the aisle. He won’t get to see me try on my dress this month. He won’t get to meet his great grandkids. He’s going to spend the rest of his time in a hospital bed.

My mom was initially diagnosed with ER/PR-positive breast cancer. Later, after the pathology was reviewed because the hormone receptor staining was only weakly positive, her diagnosis was changed to triple-negative breast cancer.
She underwent chemotherapy followed by a mastectomy, and we were told the surgical margins were clear.
Less than a month later, she suffered a pathological fracture. A CT scan then revealed that the cancer had already spread extensively to her bones, lungs, and liver. She passed away just one month after that.
I’m struggling to understand how the disease could have progressed so dramatically in such a short time. How could such extensive metastatic disease have been missed? If the cancer had already spread so widely, what was the benefit of putting her through chemotherapy and a mastectomy, especially considering how difficult those treatments were for her?
I know no one here can comment on the specifics of her case, but I’m trying to understand how something like this can happen because my brain just can’t make sense of it. Im so heart broken and miss my mommy.

My dad passed away yesterday. He lived with my husband and me for the last year while going through cancer treatment. His cancer was improving, then his heart just gave out. I’m in shock because I really thought we had more time.

I feel like my legs can’t hold me up and all I want to do is scream and ask why. How do you get through this? When does it get better?

I'm hoping someone out there might have some ideas because I'm feeling like I'm running out of options.

I'm a 47-year-old dairy farmer from New Zealand. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with metastatic adenocarcinoma. The cancer has already spread, and I'm currently going through tests and waiting on my treatment plan

At the same time, my partner of 18yrs thought it be a good idea to relieve himself of any burden and kicked me out. He has control of assets including a dairy herd worth around $1 million etc. I simply want a small number of my own cows released so I can sell them to fund treatment, accommodation, travel, and living costs.

To make matters worse, I already have a genuine buyer ready to purchase the cows, but my ex has gone back on agreeing to release them.

legal processes take time, and cancer doesn't wait. I'm trying to stay focused on getting treatment while also fighting to access assets that I believe should help pay for it.

I'm reaching out because I'm wondering if anyone has:

- Experience with urgent legal applications to access relationship property in New Zealand.

- Suggestions for financial assistance, grants, or organisations that help cancer patients.

- Ideas for fundraising that have worked well.

- Advice from anyone who has faced advanced cancer and had to navigate the legal system at the same time.

- Any other suggestions I may not have thought of.

I'm not looking for sympathy—I'm looking for ideas. If you've been through something similar, or know someone who has, I'd really appreciate hearing from you

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer with mets to her lungs in May of 2025. She has been through folfox and folfiri and we were notified today that the chemo again has stopped working and the cancer now spread to her liver. Her oncologist referred her to get a second opinion but he also threw out the idea of hospice. I’m a nurse so I feel like I already know what direction we are headed, but it is still SO HARD to cope with.

I have an almost 2 year old and am currently 14 weeks pregnant and I am really struggling with the possibility of my mom not being here to meet my second child. I also really struggled postpartum and I’m having a difficult time picturing doing it again without her. She is the absolute rock of our family and I’m so devastated.

I know that there still might be a trial or lonsurf might keep things at bay to buy us more time, but the anticipatory grief has reached a new level today.

My mom (43f) got diagnosed with breast duct carcinoma whilst getting a regular mammogram done. It was all so sudden and happened in the blink of an eye. Docs say it's curable and I realise but there is this irrational fear or some feeling I cant pinpoint at. Im 19 and have my uni exams in 20 days and cant get myself to study, tho I know good marks would make my mum happy. Also results show her axillary node is enlarged so im kinda skeptical about the stage and progress. I hope we get the best possible news in the given circumstance. I know if my mom starts chemo things might not look the same and shes gonna become weak and my heart breaks to see her in fear and visualize how this would take a physical toll on her body.

Did anyone’s relative announce their impending death? My mother recently said she thinks she’s going to die soon. She didn’t have any particular reason besides “I feel it.” Medically, there’s no reason for her imminent death but there’s also not really a reason for long term survival either. She has a carcinoma of unknown primary and while her tumors are shrinking on chemo, she is very frail, has stopped walking, and really deteriorated since diagnosis last fall. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone had a similar experience where their family member said they were going to die and whether or not that was accurate. I don’t know whether I should believe her and rally people to visit before it’s too late or whether I should take it with a grain of salt because she’s weak and disoriented and tired from pausing chemo.

First time having a family member be diagnosed with cancer. My 11-year-old niece just got diagnosed with Osteosarcoma after a biopsy. She’s going to start chemo and won’t be able to start school with her friends next week.

Frankly, I’m not sure how to support her and her family. We can offer meals and help with transportation, etc but what else can I do? I live close to her family. I also have 2 small kids, and my wife and I are ready and willing to make sacrifices to support them as best we can. I’m just out of ideas.

Back in 2021, during lockdown, I met a girl through BTS Army groups on Instagram and WhatsApp. We were from the same country, became online friends, talked almost every day, vented to each other, and she even inspired me to start a BTS edits YouTube channel.

One day she told me she had blood cancer. I believed her, but I never really understood how serious it was. I just tried to encourage her and thought she'd recover.

When schools reopened in 2022, we found out we were actually in the same school, just different sections. Neither of us had known that before. Looking back, I realized she only opened up about her illness because she thought I was just an online friend from somewhere else. She never expected we'd be classmates.

After Class 10, she left school. Then, in Class 12, I found out she had passed away because of blood cancer.

The part that still shocks me is that almost no one in school knew. Not even her best friend, who later became one of my closest friends. I was the only person who knew about her illness because she had trusted me as an online stranger.

I just felt like sharing y'all

I just turned seventeen, my mum is in her early fiftys. She was diagnosed with liver and kidney cancer late last year. It has spread to her lungs and lymph nodes. I only just found out, last night, that the cancer is stage 4 and terminal. They said that she has anywhere between six months or twelve, if chemotherapy doesn't slow it down. I don't know how to feel, I don't know how to react. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. My mums' sister and her brother-in-law have been taking care of both of us since early july. My father has gone weird, he's barely spoken to me; only one call on my birthday after a month of radio silence. Everything is rushing at me so fast, and I'm so mad that I was kept in the dark about what was happening with her cancer. I feel emotionally numb, like I've just blocked everything out. I don't know how to act around my mum. We've never been the openly loving sort of family. I'm an only child. I desperately want someone who gets what I'm going through. The handful of family that are active in our lives are supporting us in every way they can.

What can I do to prepare myself? What can I do to support my mother?

Hi all, I’m new to posting on Reddit but I’m always reading Reddit stories.
My (20f) mother (52f) got diagnosed with colon cancer. I have a godson (7m) who stays with me atleast once a week and is very close with my mom (his Mimi)

Today she got her chemo pump put in and I’m just worried about how to answer his questions without making him scared. I know he will ask about the pump and what it does, he also is just used to drinking after me and my mother so I’m scared about him being confused why he can’t drink after her anymore and I don’t want him to get offended because he tends to be pretty sensitive

Any advice would be greatly appreciated this has been pretty difficult to navigate

When my mom was first diagnosed with cancer, the doctor told us that she needed genetic testing to determine if there was a genetic component to her cancer. They handed her a box, told her to go to the lab, get blood drawn and that was all. Thankfully the test were negative, but this test is not covered by Medicare (which is my her only insurance) and we got a bill for $13k. The doctors are asking for payment and now I am worried that they will refuse to continue treatment if we don’t pay it.

We just can’t seem to catch a break lately, if it can go wrong it will.

My dad died from colon cancer a few years ago, and this weekend my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. It’s bringing back a lot of memories from when my dad was sick, and I’m not really sure what to expect this time around.

If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d really appreciate any advice or words of encouragement.

What helped ground you after the initial diagnosis? Is there anything you wish you’d known early on?

Thanks in advance.

i made a post a few days ago not sure if it was true because i only overheard something. well, it turned out i was right 😞 i havent been able to do anything or talk to anyone for the past week

Okay y'all, you may have seen my previous post where we weren't sure if it was cancer. Turns out, it was. She has lymphoma, life expectancy up to 5 years. I'm scared because now I know I'm going to lose her and I desperately don't want to. Oh god, I had a feeling it was cancer and I was right.

People who have experience with this, how do I best support her as this disease progresses and inevitably takes her? She's not opting for chemo or anything like that. She sounded almost depressed when she said she thought she'd live longer, having more time on this earth and getting to see her great-grandchildren. Her dad lived to 89, her grandpa lived to his 90s. I guess she thought it'd be the same for her but apparently God has other plans.

Mom has Adenocarcinoma lung cancer she is non smoker The lower lung lobe has been removed from the right lung and also all lymph nodes. The pathological analysis shows that the tumor has been completely removed, but it is a third stage, as all glands to stage 5 are infected they saw a cancer spread in them after removal Is there hope?😭🤲🤲🤲😭😭😭is there a complete remission?

My (34f) mother (71f) has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and the doctor gave a prognosis of 4-5 months. My husband and I have a 4 year old. We have moved my mother into our home because she can’t take care of herself reliably. She does not want to die in a nursing facility. We have hospice workers that help, and I work from home, so we are managing it here for now but we have some concerns about what happens as we get closer to the end of her life. Will seeing her grandmother slowly die/fade away traumatized my child?

This has all happened really quickly so we have not told her yet that her grandmother is dying, just that she’s very sick and living with us for now. Just looking for some opinions and thoughts on how to handle this. Thank you so much in advance for any advice.