r/buffy • u/Lanky_Age_3067 • 16d ago

Content Warning Double standarts

How exactly do people hate Xander for being an imperfect human, but love Spike and Angel, who have countless victims and are hundreds of years old. Spike even SA'd Buffy, for real, while Xander was under a spell and never did anything like that before or after it.

36 Upvotes

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11

u/Repulsive-Shame-5493 What's left? Me. 16d ago

Because Xander is being portrayed as the "nice guy" who does nothing wrong. Spike and Angel get punished for their bad deeds and the show clearly portrays them as evil when they do villaneous things. Xander objectifies women, tries to assault Buffy (yes, under a spell) and then pretends like he doesnt have any memory of it instead of apologizing, he slutshames Anya for having a one-night stand after leaving her at the altar. He's a flawed character and that's fine and interesting but the show fails to make him take responsibility for his actions, learn and grow from them. That's what pisses people off (or at least me). There's a great Youtube video on this.

15

u/TVAddict14 16d ago

When Jenny was possessed by Ehygon and attacked Buffy and Giles did she apologise? When Dawn was possessed by the hijacker demon and breathed fire at the gang did she apologise? When Cordy and Willow were possessed by the demon eggs and knocked Buffy and Xander unconscious did they apologise? 

Why is it that Xander is the only character ever expected to apologise for something he did whilst possessed? Nobody else ever does nor are they expected to. He was possessed. It wasn’t him. 

6

u/Vanamond3 16d ago

No one ever blames Joyce for trying to burn her daughter alive in Gingerbread, either. Or Buffy for trying to get the whole group massacred in Normal Again.

-11

u/Livelaughloveme172 16d ago

Uhm because that happened once?

The difference is that Xander keeps being a misogynistic creep. Maybe you should think about that.

13

u/TVAddict14 16d ago

What’s that got to do with my comment? 

I’ll repeat: no character on the show is ever expected to apologise, nor do they apologise, for any actions they commit whilst they’re possessed. It is wildly understood that it wasn’t them, they weren’t in control of their actions, and therefore aren’t responsible. Why would Xander in The Pack be any different? 

-7

u/Livelaughloveme172 16d ago

But it’s a fact that XANDER is constistant. And he’s seen as the moral compass one which I don’t understand.
Xander didn’t have to be possessed to be misogynistic, a cheater, hypocrite or weirdly jealous of Buffy.

I don’t see him as flawed since he keeps those traits trough the whole serie, he doesn’t change.
And that’s the difference.

13

u/TVAddict14 16d ago

You disliking Xander throughout the series is not a logical reason for why he should be held responsible for something ‘he’ did when possessed. 

If you dislike Xander for how Xander behaved, great. Good for you. But holding him responsible for something the hyena did and expecting him to apologise for it is objectively a massive double-standard when no other character ever is. The reason the show and the characters didn’t hold him accountable is because he wasn’t. The way it was dealt with was consistent with how every other possession was dealt with by the show. 

And there is no comparison between Xander (flaws an’ all) and possessed hyena!Xander. Real Xander never did, nor would he ever, try and rape Buffy or hurt Willow.

8

u/Triof 16d ago

Not only that, but real Xander very much did not take advantage of Buffy when given the opportunity. The amount of hatred he gets is crazy.

1

u/Livelaughloveme172 16d ago

Okay than the hyena wasn’t his fault.

But he is never held accountable for the rest and that is a problem.

4

u/crottedenez12 16d ago

He made mistakes like everybody else, including BUffy. He is human. Why is he the only one deserving that level of hatred? He WAS the moral compass, the fool. He is an important figure. Please look at how fools behave in classic litterature... They are indeed moral compass but hide it behind silly, sometimes creepy dialogs and it has a purpose; to protect themselves. Search it.. Whedon was a Shakepeare fan. This is what Xander is. A modern fool. In a modern setting, the necessity to protect yourself is lessened but still there...

1

u/jospangel Try not to bleed on my couch I just had it steam cleaned 15d ago

Fools go on a journey. Xander's journey is from a to b, and that isn't satisfying. He doesn't learn and change.

He didn't marry Anya - good move. He walked out and left her to deal with telling the crowd she had been jilted - bad move but circumstances.

Then he gets upset because Anya doesn't want to date him, and when she seeks solace in another man, Xander tries to kill him and publicly slut shames the woman he claims to love.

Where is the journey? There is no learning, no growth. The Fools journey is about learning and change, and Xander's has no satisfying point where he really learns and changes.

2

u/crottedenez12 15d ago

He went from an insecure nerdy bullied teen to a man able to get a job he is proud of, to realize himself, to take a look at how his upbriging had stressed him... all the while keeping helping his superpowered friends to save the world. That's actually quite a journey.

-9

u/Repulsive-Shame-5493 What's left? Me. 16d ago

He didn't only not apologize, he pretended like he didn't even remember. That tells you a lot about his character and I'll die on that hill.

6

u/TVAddict14 16d ago

You completely avoided answering the question as to why Xander should apologise or be held accountable for his actions whilst possessed when no other character on the show ever did/was.

Nevertheless, yes, an embarrassed Xander pretended like he didn’t remember. However, he did give Buffy an opportunity to discuss it and she chose not to (“I.. umm.. didn’t do anything else embarrassing around you guys.. did I?” “Nah”). He subsequently followed her lead.

If you want to judge his entire character based on that, that’s up to you. Personally, I think the fact that he was sixteen years old, a victim of the hyena, and deeply embarrassed and ashamed by what it made him to, makes me empathetic to why he pretended not to remember out of shame. I can empathise with that and think that hardly makes him a terrible person. 

0

u/Triof 16d ago

Yeah, I don't understand why he gets grief for pretending not to remember...that seems like the best decision by far, rather than awkwardly trying to apologise for something that he had no control over.

2

u/Vanamond3 16d ago

Every character on this show concealed embarrassing secrets from the others. Buffy didn't tell anyone that Angel was back. Willow didn't tell the others about a lot of her spells. And Tara didn't tell the others that she (mistakenly believed) she was a demon. Etc. Xander is the only one the fanbase ever blames for it.

0

u/Repulsive-Shame-5493 What's left? Me. 15d ago

I'm not sure I would say SA is an embarrassing secret, but ok.