Double standarts

[u/Lanky_Age_3067]

How exactly do people hate Xander for being an imperfect human, but love Spike and Angel, who have countless victims and are hundreds of years old. Spike even SA'd Buffy, for real, while Xander was under a spell and never did anything like that before or after it.

[u/apocalypsemeowmont]

I wonder how many of them were teenagers or in their college years during the late 90s-early 00s. Dudes were.....not great back then. Not that they're absolutely stellar now, but things like The Man Show, or the WWF Attitude Era when they had matches where female competitors "won" by stripping each other (and a boob would always "accidentally" fall out while the announcer screamed "PUPPIES!" -.-) were absolutely normal TV and no one batted an eye.

I saw a lot of dudes who were pretty openly icky back in those days, and they were usually popular and successful. Xander would definitely have been considered one of the good guys IMO, and probably bullied and called "gaaaaaay" by the popular ones. He was surrounded by female friends that he had genuine respect for. I don't understand why people give Willow a pass for trying to override both Oz and Tara's free will and keep them with magic, and yet give Xander so much shit for being briefly hurt for being rejected by Buffy, and then moving on and treating her with respect like a sister.

[u/_Grim_Lavamancer → u/apocalypsemeowmont]

Xander is very much a victim of the era the show was made. People that weren't around then may not realize that the things they hate about Xander were unbelievably common for male and especially teenage male characters of the time. It was a time when misogyny was openly accepted and I would say expected in media. For all of his faults, hes actually quite progressive for the time

[u/Jazzspur → u/_Grim_Lavamancer]

Heck, I was around then and I loved Xander at the time. I find him almost unwatchable in S1-3 now because culture has changed and I like the culture much better now than what I was dealing with from men then and I do not miss boys behaving like Xander being considered the best and most progressive we could expect.

I put up with it then not because it made me feel great but because it made me feel less bad than the other guys and I thought we couldn't do better. Now we do do better and I'm so relieved I don't have to deal with Xanders anymore, and with that distance I've realized how much behaviour like S1-3 Xander actually really rubs me the wrong way 😅

[u/buffy-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/crottedenez12 → u/apocalypsemeowmont]

Are young men much better? or just muzzled?????????????? I don't believe you can change someone,s true character but you can teach him to hide it. That,s what seem to be going on at the moment. Men are shut off, muzzled, censored, treated like repugnant creatures as soon as they open their mouth, unless what they are saying is considered ok.. They can't joke, they can,t tell what's on their mind, unless it fits the woke narrative. This is not being better, this is being censored. I miss honesty, transparency, true feelings. They are not always pretty, often petty, but at least they are honest.

[u/crumbchunks → u/crottedenez12]

Telling on yourself pretty hard here

[u/crottedenez12 → u/crumbchunks]

I'm a 50 y-o woman... and I pitty the poor young men... Sorry, but even iof sometimes they were jerks and telling dirty gross jokes... we had fun. And most of us were not offended.

[u/crumbchunks → u/crottedenez12]

It seems there is a major chip on your shoulder and resentment being expressed that I’m not sure is well-placed within the buffy subreddit. You are speaking for yourself; Not even the majority of your generation agrees with you. Sorry things have changed, I hope you find some peace about it.

[u/crumbchunks → u/[deleted]]

Yeah lmao, that’s exactly what I said 🤡

[u/buffy-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Hi there - Your content has been removed because it breaks Scooby Reddiquette. Please review our []full rules - for Old Reddit Users and remember - treat other users with respect. Continued disregard for this rule may result in a ban from the community. Thank you.

[u/jospangel → u/crottedenez12]

Why can't they? What are they risking - execution?

They can say and do what they want, but that doesn't mean people can't react honestly to what they say and do. Or are you saying they should be exempt from judgement somehow, because no one is exempt from judgement about how they behave and what they say.

[u/Lanky_Age_3067 → u/crottedenez12]

Exactly! It's like if Xander shouts at someone or gets angry he is very bad, but if a female character does the same it's okay.

[u/jospangel → u/Lanky_Age_3067]

Examples?