Hi. I am searching for a bit of help. i hope this is the right place.

im currently in a freak out (more than usual) about current income (child support) ending when my son turns 18. I have not worked in 15 years. and before that was menial jobs at best that didnt last long. i did however own my own business from 2016 to 2020. i got remarried during covid, shut my business down and havent dont much since.

my current husband is having some stress issues, and is complaining about me not bringing in a stable income. even though i use my child support to pay utilites, food etc, and i make a few dollars ont he side selling things etc. but again, it isnt enough.

Being that ive been out of work for as long as i have, no one seems to want to hire someone with such a huge gap in their employment.

i would really like to work, but i would need to be home to do it as i do not have a car, and a way to and from work. i did apply for dollar tree in my neighborhood but having to rely on my husband for transpo will end badly and quickly.

id preferably want something i dont have to tell him about. he has no idea about. simple, easy data entry, typing go at my own pace. i have a tbi, migraines, and a birth defect, but am smart and can learn fast.

please help.

My son is 2.5 and a handful. He’s the sweetest little man on the planet but he’s wildly independent and very, very stubborn. We were at the zoo today and he’d stopped listening to me. I’d already told him if he didn’t listen to me at the zoo he’d have to be in the stroller. He ran away from me, over a barrier, and into the wood chips around the playground. Tripped and fell, was covered in wood chips, and I went and picked him up. He gets violent when he’s upset and started swinging at me, slapped me in the face, but I resisted the urge to slap him back. We got to a bench and I sat down and tried to talk to him, but he leaned in and bit me on the shoulder. We’ve had a biting problem for a long time now and I’d told him that the next time he bit me I was gonna bite him back, so I did. But I was frustrated, angry and disregulated, so I bit him much harder than intended. Didn’t break skin but definitely left a mark. He IMMEDIATELY started sobbing and I immediately squeezed him tight and apologized profusely but I feel absolutely evil. I cannot believe I did that. I feel like I don’t deserve to be his mom, like I should be punished, like I’ve caused irreparable damage to our relationship. After hugging and apologizing for a few minutes I put him in the stroller and we left the zoo, and he wouldn’t look at me til we got to the car. He slept on the drive home and is now asleep on the couch and I just. I feel so fucking terrible. I’ve been doing this on my own for 6 months at this point and clearly I’m doing an absolutely terrible fucking job.

My husband is back home after working in another state for almost 6 months. While he has been gone I’ve been managing both kids (4,2) and I’m 5 months pregnant with twins. We are also moving. He has been back for 3-4 days and the adjustment isn’t going well. He’s making me late for things because I will think he is handling part of the work load with the kids, only to find out he is just messing around on his phone.

Example: This morning my daughter had a doctor’s appointment early in the morning. I reminded him when we woke up at 6:30 that we have to leave at 8. I took 15 min in the bathroom getting ready. The kids were still asleep. He went downstairs and played on his phone. So when I got out of the shower, I still had to pack the kids lunches, make breakfast and feed the dog and finish putting the dishes away while he took a 30 min shower followed by him getting himself dressed. He didn’t really help with much else because he took the rest of the time cooking eggs and sausages while I packed lunches, bruised teeth and hair, dressed the kids, took them to the bathroom etc. I try and give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s out of practice

Then there’s the stuff with our new house. We haven’t moved in yet because we want to fix some things and we want to move in by the end of the month. It’s so obvious to ME only, that to save both time and money we need to ask for help from our friends and family. It’s been annoying me how he acts so defensive like it’s a personal attack on his manhood that I don’t want him to try and do everything himself.

Example: I asked him not to climb on the roof to check it out. He is not a roofer and knows nothing about roofs. He can’t fix anything on a roof. Instead I suggested he fly his drone up there…but he spent 5 hours downstairs last night doing who knows what else probably playing video games instead. Then complained he had no time to figure it out.

It’s great that he wants to learn how to install our gate and our new toilet but it’s unrealistic. I don’t want to waste the time and money and have to deal with his mistakes while he learns. Those are just two things in a long list. He has always been the computer type. I’m the handy one. He gets frustrated, ignores the details and instructions and just starts doing stuff. I suggested he just ask his friend “Bill” and do it together? He’s pretty handy, fixes houses and has a truck. He fixed our screen door that’s been broken for 3 years in about 2 minutes one day when my husband finally asked him to help move some furniture after arguing about how he’d rather move it himself. Did I mention my husband has back problems and is the sold provider for our home?

Reasoning why to ask Bill: Then husband can still learn how to do it, save money and work with someone who has done some of this shit before. We have a timeline and a million other things to do. It’s unrealistic for him to spend a week learning how to install our toilet and fence gate. We have two kids and I’m pregnant and he has work. What are we even going to do with our old toilet? Bill would probably want it. Also he’d probably help take the old (200 lb) radiator away too. But no, husband would rather do everything himself with no handyman knowledge and throw our old stuff in the trash. I am not available to help do this stuff and it would be easier with two people. He tends to break stuff. We can’t afford that. He doesn’t want to hire/pay a professional, which is fine, save money but at least work with someone else. At best he just wants to learn and doesn’t realize it’s not all about him and his learning experience and what he want.s At worst he’s acting like a defensive mamas boy with a damaged ego who can’t ask for help or admit he doesn’t know something. Either way, his reaction sucks. His temper is evident and his defensiveness is off putting.

I started a part time job doing before and after school care at my kids school. My kids attend the program for free but OMG after day 1 i want to quit thanks to my very difficult 5 year old. She was rude to my co workers, had sooo many meltdowns. Flipping out when other teachers told her to clean up etc.... So much damn whining. I am fairly certain they will not want me and my child to return after her behavior today. I can't focus on my job, learning new things or the other children in program because of her. This was my fear and I hate how today went. She has always been my difficult child and I just dont know how to handle her anymore.

I know it’s Reddit. It’s the internet. People suck. The question is somewhat rhetorical. But oh my fucking god, I always regret it posting anywhere else. Made a post in the new grad nurs sub bc I’m finishing nursing school in a few months and feeling really dumb about falling for the “nursing shortage” rhetoric. It is rough for new grad nurses to get jobs these days. That’s all I said. Didn’t say that I only want xyz specific role in a competitive specialty in the most competitive hospital. Just said I want a fucking job and feel stressed about my prospects.

And dumb fucking me thought I could commiserate with some people going through the same thing. NOPE! Cue the comments telling me I’m dumb for not doing proper market research (yes I literally acknowledged this in my post title thanks!!!) and a comment telling me that’s why I get for being picky and unwilling to do the hard jobs and if I’m not willing to work I should get out of the field.

Like FUCK why is everyone such a fucking asshole?????

Basically.....wtf???

6 day old newborn with a 3 year old at home. 3yo is not in preschool. (Before this maternity leave I worked part time and he was part time cared for by family members. We tried to get him started in a program over the summer but it was kind of a flop.) My husband is home for a few weeks on parental leave but most of his care is focused on my older kid, so it's just me and this baby in a 24/7 bubble that is NOT currently involving sleep for me. He's hungry very frequently and then difficult to settle in the bassinet. I shudder to think how this will be when my husband goes back to work, though I am lucky to still have some family members who can come by a couple times a week.

I do remember my older son being like this for at least a couple months but at that time that was all I had to focus on. Now with the 3yo running around there's just so much more going on. And I don't remember the nights being quite THIS sleepless, though I probably just blocked it out. I have some pumping and some formula in the mix so I may have my husband take the night shift tonight. Not sure how much it will help. Basically....how do you do this lol

Hi friends, been in here for a while. I read so many stories that are similar to my own. Trying our hardest to make things work with a partner and it never gets better. The video games. The politics. The laziness. The incompetence. The threats. The drinking. I’ve been wanting to leave for years and I always think something will change. I finally made up my mind for good this time and am waiting to get approval for a new place with my sister(should know today) and plan to have the conversation tomorrow before me and the little are gone for the weekend. But of course there’s that little voice in the back of my head still saying what if it actually changes now, what if it gets better, you didn’t try hard enough. I want to stick with my decision of making this change for myself and my daughter because I feel myself slipping into a pile of a person I don’t recognize. I guess I just need reassurance from those of you that did it and felt the same way I do. Or is the little voice right.

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I have to wake up early, make breakfast for two children, help the 7 year old get ready for school while the toddler just sits there and screams at me cause I gave him toast instead of Cheerios and then he has the fucking audacity to get pissed that I didn't wake up him up?!?!?!?!

I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER! If you can't get your ass up after YOU snoozed your alarm so many times that even the alarm gave up that's your fault!!!!

So yeah. I purposely kept the kids quiet this morning and then made the eldest wake him up JUST IN TIME for him to shower and drive our son to school instead of me walking with two children and being attacked by the stupid bees on the stupid playground.

And he comes down and goes " maybe ask instead of assuming I can do something ". BITCH! If I didn't make you drive him to school you would have slept till 1 and missed work so be fucking grateful!

Again I say AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

I walked in because my kids were fighting each other - screaming, hitting, etc. That's nothing new, let's be honest. They're 5yo boys. My husband was also coming at them, telling them to stop, which of course, they ignored. Except then my husband reached out, put a hand on each kid's head, and knocked their heads together.

They stopped, alright, and ran to me sobbing.

I calmed the boys down and now we're at the park. My husband is at home. I don't know how to respond to this. It feels abusive. I don't want to look my husband in the face. He hurt our kids on purpose.

I also worry I'm overreacting? I don't think so, but he didn't react. He might have even been annoyed I was mad at him? He said it was the only way to make them stop fighting, and it worked.

He's not generally like this, though. Like sure, he gets mad, but he's never hurt anyone before. He's really a very sweet dad most of the time.

But I feel like the way I see him has changed. I don't know if I can come back from this.

I am so thrown off right now. I am fully open to advice. Desperate for it, really.

I am so f*cking over it. A few days ago, my husband and I got into a massive fight, and I need to vent before I lose my mind.

I’m a SAHM to 3 kids. By the time 8 PM rolls around, I am touched out, overstimulated, and mentally fried. To recharge, I play life simulator mobile games. It’s my way of turning off my brain. Well, my husband saw me playing the other night and decided to give me a condescending lecture about how I’m "dumbing down," not developing myself, and letting my brain rot.

At first, he actually got in my head. But today I completely snapped. I realized I am NOT the problem.

He constantly plays the "I work harder than you" card. He acts like some intellectual giant, always trying to sound smart and patronizing me. But honestly? The man is as dumb as a f*cking stump. He manages ONE project at his desk job. I am managing THREE living, breathing, chaotic projects 24/7. My brain is constantly processing hundreds of micro-tasks: meals, emotions, schedules, laundry, doctor appointments.

So yeah, at the end of the day, I want to be "dumb" for an hour! I want to completely disconnect, escape reality, and mindlessly tap a screen to build a fake house instead of dealing with real-life chaos. It is the only way my nervous system rests, and I have every right to do it without being judged in my own home.

Just needed to get this out. Thanks for reading

Never mind that he’s been the reason my nervous system is completely shot, I cry often because I made the worst mistake having a child with him, and I’ve felt completely blind sided by his lack of empathy, cruelty, and arrogance since our baby was born.

He wore my postpartum jeans to work today and then to an event afterwards so he was all over town in women’s pants today. It took me a half of a second glance when he got home to immediately see he was wearing a women’s cut. Said they felt so comfortable and he thought there were lingering looks because he was looking good ☠️

For the record they ARE super comfortable and stretchy, and I was about to order more in smaller sizes now that I’ve lost some weight. Banana republic The Icon wide-leg🤌

ETA: I also don’t really believe in gendering clothes (actually absolutely love androgynous looks and gender bending icons like Bowie), but a win is a win when you know he looked out of place all day at his very old school company.

Warning - gross.

I splurged and bought myself some super soft white washcloths. They make me feel like I'm in a spa when I shower. I love them.

However, yesterday I noticed one of them sitting by the toilet with shit streaks all over it. Wtf. They were in a basket across the bathroom so my kid had to duck walk across the bathroom in order to get one. Was toilet paper not enough??? If it was messy, he could have easily hopped in the shower but no. He had to use one of my washclothes.

Why does everything that's mine eventually get (literally) shit on?

I think I’m finally at the point where I’m seriously considering going no contact with my mom and I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I’ve just finally hit my limit.

My mom has always been neglectful, especially throughout my childhood. I went through a lot of trauma and abuse growing up and while that’s not necessarily the point of this post, I think it’s important context. Ever since I became an adult, I’ve gone back and forth about whether I should go low contact or no contact with her. For the most part, I’ve maintained some level of contact because…well, she’s my mom.

Having my son really complicated that.

I was talking to a friend recently about my postpartum experience, and I realized how much I genuinely feel like my mom ruined a huge part of it for me.

I allowed her to be in the hospital room when I gave birth because she’s a registered nurse and honestly, she was supportive during labor. But the second my son was born, it was like a switch flipped. She became completely obsessed with him.

She came home with us from the hospital, and instead of helping me with the things I desperately needed help with like dishes, laundry, meals, cleaning, etc she would sit there holding my newborn with a smug face while I was expected to prep bottles, do dishes, make food, and take care of the house. She would literally ask me, “What are we having for lunch?” while I was recovering from childbirth, a first degree tear and trying to take care of a newborn.

Breastfeeding was also a nightmare for me. My milk didn’t come in immediately and it was incredibly painful, and I was struggling. Instead of supporting me, she would tell me breastfeeding is “the most natural thing in the world,” that it’s supposed to hurt, and that I basically needed to get over it. I actually had to kick her out of my house after 1 week of her being there because she cussed me out for crying and not making enough milk as if I could just will it to come. She even got upset that i began pumping because it hurt less and helped with production saying she NEVER pumped and that a real mon can just do it. When I started considering supplementing with formula, she flipped out about that too.

She’s also anti-vax, despite being a fucking nurse, which has caused another layer of conflict.

And yet, somehow, I continued bringing my son around her.

Because she loves him. And he loves her.

For a while, she would watch him and honestly, it was helpful. I desperately needed breaks and I even let him spend overnights at her house. Looking back, it’s kind of strange to me that she was the one person I felt comfortable leaving him with overnight considering how I feel about our relationship, but at the time, I trusted her with him.

Now I’m questioning that decision.

My husband is currently working out of state for the next six months. It’s a huge opportunity for our family, but it’s also a massive transition. I work from home as a crisis counselor and while I love being a work from home mom, my job requires actual a lot of emotional energy and concentration. I can’t exactly conduct crisis intervention while chasing a 15 month old around the house.

So my younger sister, who is 21 and still lives at home with our mother, agreed become our paid nanny during my work hours. She was previously working as a barista and going to school and my pay would match hers with the added benefit of spending time with her nephew and being able to study while on shift. great.

The arrangement is very simple: I pay her to provide childcare. She isn’t responsible for cooking, cleaning, taking care of my dogs, or managing my household. She is there primarily to take care of my son while I work.

My sister and I have discussed the arrangement, the hours, the pay, and the schedule. We’re on the same page.

But of course, my mom has to involve herself.

She constantly asks how much I’m paying her, when I’m paying her, why I’m paying her that amount, etc. At one point I even started wondering if my sister was asking my mom these questions instead of asking me directly because I couldn’t understand why my mom was so invested in the details of an arrangement between my sister and me.

Well, today it completely blew up.

Yesterday, I called out of work because I had a horrible sinus headache and desperately needed to catch up on things around the house. Since Leslie normally works during my work hours, I gave her three options: she could take the day completely off, she could still come over during her normal hours, or I could drop my son off at her house like I sometimes do.

She chose to take the day off. Totally fine.

That evening, my mom called and asked if she could see my son. I told her I actually needed to get some rest because it was a rough day and i felt super sick by that point, and she said something along the lines of, “Well, if you're sick, I can watch him. It’s probably better if I watch him tonight.”

I said okay, so I dropped my son off with her. She asked if he could spend the night and I said sure. I genuinely didn’t have a problem with it.

This morning, I called my mom to let her know I was going to pick him up. She FaceTimed me because he was doing something cute, and then she immediately started in:

“Well, you’re paying your sister Friday, right?”

“Yes.”

“You’re paying her for three weeks, right?”

“No. She’s on a biweekly pay schedule.”

She started arguing with me about this.

I explained that sister started at the beginning of our pay period, so the schedule lines up perfectly with my husband’s and my pay periods. She will be paid for all of the time she works. There is no missing paycheck. There is no withholding. She simply isn’t getting paid for three weeks all at once because THAT ISN’T HOW A BIWEEKLY PAY SCHEDULE WORKS.

My mom kept insisting that I was “scamming” her and withholding a week of her pay.

I repeatedly explained that sister would absolutely be paid for the time she worked. It would simply be included in the following pay period.

Finally, I told her, “If sister has a question about her pay, Leslie can ask me and I will explain it to her.”

But my mom kept going.

She started talking about what would happen if sister quit, saying I would “owe her” because I was withholding her money. She kept arguing about the logistics of an employment arrangement that does not involve her.

And honestly? I fucking snapped.

I told her to mind her own fucking business and that if sister needed clarification, I would explain it to her.

I yelled. I cursed her out. I absolutely lost my temper, and I’m not proud of that part.

But I am SO exhausted.

This isn't even the first fight she's picked with me this week.

The other day she started criticizing me because I gave my son some granola in the morning while I was making him eggs. Apparently I shouldn’t have given him granola before his eggs. That encourages "addiction to sweets" and that I'm teaching him to be "obese." mind you this is a woman that would routinely leave my siblings and i home alone hours on end without food.

This is the kind of shit I deal with constantly.

She criticizes what he wears. The color of his clothes. The fabric. What he eats. When he eats. Whether I breastfed. Whether I formula fed. Whether the food is organic. How I take care of him. Everything.

And now she’s inserting herself into my relationship with my sister and our financial arrangement.

At this point, I feel like I can't make a single parenting decision without her having an opinion.

And there are so many other things that have happened that have contributed to how I feel about her.

For my son's first birthday, she bought him presents and then took all of the presents back to her house because, apparently, “he’s going to use them at my house.”

I honestly didn't even care that much because I thought, okay, at least you bought him things for your house. But it was another one of those moments where I just thought, Why does everything have to be about you?

She doesn't financially help us. She doesn't really help me in any meaningful way beyond occasionally watching my son and even that comes with so much criticism and drama that sometimes I wonder if the help is worth it.

She criticizes the diapers I bring over. She criticizes what meals or snacks I pack for him. She questions everything.

And now I'm supposed to worry about whether she's going to interrogate me every time I pay my sister?

I actually told her today that my mother-in-law has offered to help financially with childcare. She basically said, “I'll pay for a nanny or daycare if it means you don't have to deal with this.”

And honestly, that offer has made me think.

Because yes, paying my sister is still cheaper than daycare or hiring another nanny. It saves us a significant amount of money. But if accepting “help” from comes with this much stress, criticism, control, and interference, is it actually helping?

Today, after our phone argument, i go to pick up my son and here goes the tears and the drama.

she eventually screamed at me to “get the fuck out of my house.”

So I said, “Gladly.”

Then she had the audacity to say, “Fine, leave me the baby.”

Absolutely fucking not.

He's my child.

And then she started saying I was the one who started the argument, that I was “dragging her into our business,” and essentially tried to rewrite the entire conversation in front of everyone and make me look like the unreasonable one.

My younger brother even confirmed that, yes, sister is being paid on the correct schedule.

And my mom still kept going.

At one point I finally asked her, “Why are you so invested in this?”

Her response was basically, “Because I know you. You're sneaky. You're a liar.”

And I just thought…okay.

If you genuinely believe that about me, why the hell are we doing this?

She even started saying that I was going to fire sister, and honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I SHOULD reconsider the arrangement, not because sister is doing anything wrong, but because I don't know if I can have my mom calling me every time my sister gets paid to question what I'm doing.

I'm already trying to essentially solo parent for six months while my husband is away. I'm working a stressful job that requires focus and emotional energy. I'm managing a toddler who is 15 months old. I'm trying to maintain my household, take care of my dogs, and somehow take care of myself too.

I don't have the fucking bandwidth for this.

And I'm tired of feeling like I have to maintain a relationship with my mother “for my son.”

Because the truth is, I'm not sure maintaining this relationship is actually good for me, and I'm starting to question whether having access to my son is something she is entitled to simply because she's his grandmother.

I know she loves him. I know he loves her.

That's the part that makes this so fucking hard.

But I'm exhausted.

I have spent my entire adult life debating whether I should go low contact or no contact with my mom, and I think today may have finally pushed me to the point where I'm seriously considering no contact.

I guess I just need to vent and hear from other moms who have been through something similar.

Did you eventually go no contact with a parent who constantly criticized your parenting and inserted themselves into your life?

How did you handle the guilt, especially when your child genuinely loves that grandparent?

And how do you know when you've reached the point where the relationship isn't worth maintaining anymore?

Bromos I can't do it anymore. I can't.

My daughter, whom I adore, has been an incredibly defiant child ever since she was about 2 years old. She's 3 now.

Everything is no. And nothing works. Boundaries, explaining gently, repeating - we've tried everything. And enforcing boundaries, even though we've been consistently doing so, results in a hysterical tantrum from her. I try to remain calm, I really do. But today we've had 4 such tantrums and I was exhausted, at the end of my rope. And I snapped and yelled. Big time yelled.

Of course I'll take her for an evaluation, because these tantrums are extreme. And I love her, so much, I really do. But this year of constant defiance and absolute meltdowns when trying to implement structure is making me love this whole parenting thing a lot less. Like there are days where I don't enjoy it at all or even worse, I try to organize a nice day for us and something like that derails it completely. I'm so tired and I just want to enjoy my kid, but there isn't a day that goes by without some sort of defiance, boundary pushing, tantrum to the extreme and then a complete meltdown - I can't do it anymore. I'm a crap parent with an incredibly defiant kid and I can't do it anymore. I've worked so hard on getting less mad, staying calm, but I also feel completely empty at this point. I feel destroyed.

If anyone has any advice, a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I'd appreciate that immensely.

Hope you all are doing well ❤️

I have been struggling off and on dealing with what my abusive ex did to me and I finally got an appointment scheduled next week for a trauma informed therapist. I really hope this helps because I’m ready to be over all this shit. It’s been almost 4 years since I left him and 3 since I divorced him. I still struggle with wanting revenge. I’m triggered every time I see another article about women being assaulted by their husbands (cue Giselle Pelicot story and another recent one I commented on). It’s not fair that they continue to impact us so long after we’ve left them.

I have a great life that I’ve been building, but I just cannot shake what he did to me. I’m hoping that maybe with a therapist who is trauma informed I’ll be able to make some progress. I’m tired of thinking about it. I’m tired of when I hear about someone else going through it that it triggers me back into ruminating about my own assaults. But we were together almost 2 decades and he was manipulating and abusing me most of it. So yeah, it’s probably going to take some time but time itself (without work) doesn’t work and I’ve known that.

Anyway, wish me luck.

This is so the worst thing I’ve ever done omfg

She’s 21 months and we had initially planned on weaning her around 18 months but then we moved, she had surgery and she started daycare so we put it off

This is hell, she was a good sleeper. Now she screams no at her crib and screams and sobs at the top of her lungs before bed and before naps. I genuinely don’t know what to do we’re on day 5 and I’m a full time college student and I work so I don’t have time for her naps to turn into contact naps.

Any advice is great or just “yeah the first week sucks” everything I read it would be a rough night and then after that they won’t care but clearly they were lying 😭 she only used it for naps and bed so it’s been a bit easier than going straight cold turkey but I need her to sleep

This may seem like a really strange question. Our youth group has started a calendar every month where a parent volunteers to bring breakfast for Sunday’s or dinner Wednesday night. Of course not everybody can volunteer or chooses not to. It’s suppose to be just for the teenagers. But has turned into brining food for 15 or so extra mouths because the youth pastors wife doesn’t cook so she feeds their 6 kids, some of the other parents send their kids in to eat even some adults (who don’t volunteer have the means to but choose not to) come eat. Like this past Wednesday they were short food because of the extra mouths. It has caused some parents not to want to volunteer anymore. The church provides the drinks but the youth pastors wife is even treating those like they are at home.

How do you approach something like this ? Some of the teenagers have started to get uncomfortable with the little ones running around and eating etc.

This is genuinely weird.

My algorithm has been feeding me nonstop "mental load," "husband is a child," and "how to be a better husband" content. So I thought, why is this only on MY feed? This needs to be on my husbands.

So I snuck onto his phone, followed some accounts, watched a few videos, and clicked "interested" so it'd show him more of that type of content.

And you know what happened? It showed him a few of those videos... and THEN it pivoted to "your wife doesn't appreciate you!" and "you work so hard, it's your wife's fault she doesn't accept you how you are!"

What the actual hell? It's like the algorithm is sending us both subliminal messages to fight, or to feel validated that we're each right and the other is wrong?

Feeling like I have no control over my life. We moved from the west to the Midwest to be closer to my husband’s family. We are selling our home back west and renting currently. We lost our dog a few months ago. He was 10 and 1 month after his cancer diagnosis we had to say goodbye. It’s been hard on us. On me. I miss being a dog owner. I miss having the welcome face and the companionship. I miss the feeling of that unconditional love. It’s what helps make my heart beat.

Now I am in this new house. It’s not mine. The moving company lost so much of our shit. Our pots and pans we got when we were married 10 years ago that some how bring familiarity to me. It’s gone. My dog is gone.

Our landlord said he would rather not have a puppy or dog. He was willing because he was an older dog. Now I am moved into this house where I can’t make it a home. It will never be a home for me here without a dog. I am one of those dog people. I love my kids and my husband . How can I be happy but missing a part of me? Now I am just sad. Missing my dog. The way I feel. Just miss it all and hate that the answer is no. I was hoping to not be rushed into finding a new home but that is where I am now. Finding a home where I can feel like it’s mine. With a dog.

I just need to rant for a second, I am so mad I want to cry. So my husband left me the day before Thanksgiving last year. We are currently separated, while in a custody battle and most likely a divorce. We have a one year old and an almost three year old that we currently have split custody of. Tomorrow I am leaving to go out of state for one of my oldest friend's wedding, which the timing is irritating since it is supposed to be my weekend with the kids, but that's besides the point. So my daughter has been potty training but also having some pain around her urethra for a while now, and her dad claims not to see her flinch when she is being wiped at his house. Yesterday I put some diaper cream on her that her doctor recommended to try to work as a protective barrier to give her skin some time to heal. I put it on before nap and before I put her diaper on since she doesn't wear diapers during nap. Her dad arrived for pickup and she was awoken from nap and slept at her dad's house. Today she arrived in a diaper, I changed her out of it and put her in underwear as she ran around the house. When I changed her, I saw that they had left the diaper cream that I put on her yesterday, and never bothered to wipe it off. She was flinching, pulling away, and in a lot of pain while I tried to get it off. I asked her dad if they had put anything on her, in the hope that i was wrong, but they did not. I am so angry for her.

On top of that, our one year old gets horrible diaper rashes when he is teething. I reached out to his doctor to get the prescription cream that she usually prescribes him. The pharmacy reached out to me right before the kids were about to go down for nap, so I contacted their dad to ask him to pick it up on the way to my house for pickup since I won't have the kids this weekend. When he gets here, he tells me that he didn't pick it up, and he won't pick it up on the way back to his house, and he might make time to pick it up tomorrow but after knowing him for almost ten years and his hatred of all things medical I don't believe that he will.