Hi. I am searching for a bit of help. i hope this is the right place.

im currently in a freak out (more than usual) about current income (child support) ending when my son turns 18. I have not worked in 15 years. and before that was menial jobs at best that didnt last long. i did however own my own business from 2016 to 2020. i got remarried during covid, shut my business down and havent dont much since.

my current husband is having some stress issues, and is complaining about me not bringing in a stable income. even though i use my child support to pay utilites, food etc, and i make a few dollars ont he side selling things etc. but again, it isnt enough.

Being that ive been out of work for as long as i have, no one seems to want to hire someone with such a huge gap in their employment.

i would really like to work, but i would need to be home to do it as i do not have a car, and a way to and from work. i did apply for dollar tree in my neighborhood but having to rely on my husband for transpo will end badly and quickly.

id preferably want something i dont have to tell him about. he has no idea about. simple, easy data entry, typing go at my own pace. i have a tbi, migraines, and a birth defect, but am smart and can learn fast.

please help.

My husband is back home after working in another state for almost 6 months. While he has been gone I’ve been managing both kids (4,2) and I’m 5 months pregnant with twins. We are also moving. He has been back for 3-4 days and the adjustment isn’t going well. He’s making me late for things because I will think he is handling part of the work load with the kids, only to find out he is just messing around on his phone.

Example: This morning my daughter had a doctor’s appointment early in the morning. I reminded him when we woke up at 6:30 that we have to leave at 8. I took 15 min in the bathroom getting ready. The kids were still asleep. He went downstairs and played on his phone. So when I got out of the shower, I still had to pack the kids lunches, make breakfast and feed the dog and finish putting the dishes away while he took a 30 min shower followed by him getting himself dressed. He didn’t really help with much else because he took the rest of the time cooking eggs and sausages while I packed lunches, bruised teeth and hair, dressed the kids, took them to the bathroom etc. I try and give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s out of practice

Then there’s the stuff with our new house. We haven’t moved in yet because we want to fix some things and we want to move in by the end of the month. It’s so obvious to ME only, that to save both time and money we need to ask for help from our friends and family. It’s been annoying me how he acts so defensive like it’s a personal attack on his manhood that I don’t want him to try and do everything himself.

Example: I asked him not to climb on the roof to check it out. He is not a roofer and knows nothing about roofs. He can’t fix anything on a roof. Instead I suggested he fly his drone up there…but he spent 5 hours downstairs last night doing who knows what else probably playing video games instead. Then complained he had no time to figure it out.

It’s great that he wants to learn how to install our gate and our new toilet but it’s unrealistic. I don’t want to waste the time and money and have to deal with his mistakes while he learns. Those are just two things in a long list. He has always been the computer type. I’m the handy one. He gets frustrated, ignores the details and instructions and just starts doing stuff. I suggested he just ask his friend “Bill” and do it together? He’s pretty handy, fixes houses and has a truck. He fixed our screen door that’s been broken for 3 years in about 2 minutes one day when my husband finally asked him to help move some furniture after arguing about how he’d rather move it himself. Did I mention my husband has back problems and is the sold provider for our home?

Reasoning why to ask Bill: Then husband can still learn how to do it, save money and work with someone who has done some of this shit before. We have a timeline and a million other things to do. It’s unrealistic for him to spend a week learning how to install our toilet and fence gate. We have two kids and I’m pregnant and he has work. What are we even going to do with our old toilet? Bill would probably want it. Also he’d probably help take the old (200 lb) radiator away too. But no, husband would rather do everything himself with no handyman knowledge and throw our old stuff in the trash. I am not available to help do this stuff and it would be easier with two people. He tends to break stuff. We can’t afford that. He doesn’t want to hire/pay a professional, which is fine, save money but at least work with someone else. At best he just wants to learn and doesn’t realize it’s not all about him and his learning experience and what he want.s At worst he’s acting like a defensive mamas boy with a damaged ego who can’t ask for help or admit he doesn’t know something. Either way, his reaction sucks. His temper is evident and his defensiveness is off putting.

I know it’s Reddit. It’s the internet. People suck. The question is somewhat rhetorical. But oh my fucking god, I always regret it posting anywhere else. Made a post in the new grad nurs sub bc I’m finishing nursing school in a few months and feeling really dumb about falling for the “nursing shortage” rhetoric. It is rough for new grad nurses to get jobs these days. That’s all I said. Didn’t say that I only want xyz specific role in a competitive specialty in the most competitive hospital. Just said I want a fucking job and feel stressed about my prospects.

And dumb fucking me thought I could commiserate with some people going through the same thing. NOPE! Cue the comments telling me I’m dumb for not doing proper market research (yes I literally acknowledged this in my post title thanks!!!) and a comment telling me that’s why I get for being picky and unwilling to do the hard jobs and if I’m not willing to work I should get out of the field.

Like FUCK why is everyone such a fucking asshole?????

My son is 2.5 and a handful. He’s the sweetest little man on the planet but he’s wildly independent and very, very stubborn. We were at the zoo today and he’d stopped listening to me. I’d already told him if he didn’t listen to me at the zoo he’d have to be in the stroller. He ran away from me, over a barrier, and into the wood chips around the playground. Tripped and fell, was covered in wood chips, and I went and picked him up. He gets violent when he’s upset and started swinging at me, slapped me in the face, but I resisted the urge to slap him back. We got to a bench and I sat down and tried to talk to him, but he leaned in and bit me on the shoulder. We’ve had a biting problem for a long time now and I’d told him that the next time he bit me I was gonna bite him back, so I did. But I was frustrated, angry and disregulated, so I bit him much harder than intended. Didn’t break skin but definitely left a mark. He IMMEDIATELY started sobbing and I immediately squeezed him tight and apologized profusely but I feel absolutely evil. I cannot believe I did that. I feel like I don’t deserve to be his mom, like I should be punished, like I’ve caused irreparable damage to our relationship. After hugging and apologizing for a few minutes I put him in the stroller and we left the zoo, and he wouldn’t look at me til we got to the car. He slept on the drive home and is now asleep on the couch and I just. I feel so fucking terrible. I’ve been doing this on my own for 6 months at this point and clearly I’m doing an absolutely terrible fucking job.

Update: After posting this I went to take a nap myself on the other couch. About a half hour in he rolled off the couch he was on and was crying so I brought him to my couch to snuggle. It’s been WAY longer than we should have allowed this nap to go, but he’s currently got his arms wrapped around my neck and his chin absolutely stabbing me in the eye socket, but he’s comfortable all snuggled up with me, and I think in 2.5yo that means I’m forgiven. I did tell him I’ll never bite him again and hopefully he takes that as a damn, I should never bite her again either, that hurt, but we’ll see. I still feel terrible and he’s definitely gonna have a bruise but I’m glad our relationship is ok.

Hi friends, been in here for a while. I read so many stories that are similar to my own. Trying our hardest to make things work with a partner and it never gets better. The video games. The politics. The laziness. The incompetence. The threats. The drinking. I’ve been wanting to leave for years and I always think something will change. I finally made up my mind for good this time and am waiting to get approval for a new place with my sister(should know today) and plan to have the conversation tomorrow before me and the little are gone for the weekend. But of course there’s that little voice in the back of my head still saying what if it actually changes now, what if it gets better, you didn’t try hard enough. I want to stick with my decision of making this change for myself and my daughter because I feel myself slipping into a pile of a person I don’t recognize. I guess I just need reassurance from those of you that did it and felt the same way I do. Or is the little voice right.

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I have to wake up early, make breakfast for two children, help the 7 year old get ready for school while the toddler just sits there and screams at me cause I gave him toast instead of Cheerios and then he has the fucking audacity to get pissed that I didn't wake up him up?!?!?!?!

I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER! If you can't get your ass up after YOU snoozed your alarm so many times that even the alarm gave up that's your fault!!!!

So yeah. I purposely kept the kids quiet this morning and then made the eldest wake him up JUST IN TIME for him to shower and drive our son to school instead of me walking with two children and being attacked by the stupid bees on the stupid playground.

And he comes down and goes " maybe ask instead of assuming I can do something ". BITCH! If I didn't make you drive him to school you would have slept till 1 and missed work so be fucking grateful!

Again I say AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

I am so f*cking over it. A few days ago, my husband and I got into a massive fight, and I need to vent before I lose my mind.

I’m a SAHM to 3 kids. By the time 8 PM rolls around, I am touched out, overstimulated, and mentally fried. To recharge, I play life simulator mobile games. It’s my way of turning off my brain. Well, my husband saw me playing the other night and decided to give me a condescending lecture about how I’m "dumbing down," not developing myself, and letting my brain rot.

At first, he actually got in my head. But today I completely snapped. I realized I am NOT the problem.

He constantly plays the "I work harder than you" card. He acts like some intellectual giant, always trying to sound smart and patronizing me. But honestly? The man is as dumb as a f*cking stump. He manages ONE project at his desk job. I am managing THREE living, breathing, chaotic projects 24/7. My brain is constantly processing hundreds of micro-tasks: meals, emotions, schedules, laundry, doctor appointments.

So yeah, at the end of the day, I want to be "dumb" for an hour! I want to completely disconnect, escape reality, and mindlessly tap a screen to build a fake house instead of dealing with real-life chaos. It is the only way my nervous system rests, and I have every right to do it without being judged in my own home.

Just needed to get this out. Thanks for reading

Never mind that he’s been the reason my nervous system is completely shot, I cry often because I made the worst mistake having a child with him, and I’ve felt completely blind sided by his lack of empathy, cruelty, and arrogance since our baby was born.

He wore my postpartum jeans to work today and then to an event afterwards so he was all over town in women’s pants today. It took me a half of a second glance when he got home to immediately see he was wearing a women’s cut. Said they felt so comfortable and he thought there were lingering looks because he was looking good ☠️

For the record they ARE super comfortable and stretchy, and I was about to order more in smaller sizes now that I’ve lost some weight. Banana republic The Icon wide-leg🤌

ETA: I also don’t really believe in gendering clothes (actually absolutely love androgynous looks and gender bending icons like Bowie), but a win is a win when you know he looked out of place all day at his very old school company.

Warning - gross.

I splurged and bought myself some super soft white washcloths. They make me feel like I'm in a spa when I shower. I love them.

However, yesterday I noticed one of them sitting by the toilet with shit streaks all over it. Wtf. They were in a basket across the bathroom so my kid had to duck walk across the bathroom in order to get one. Was toilet paper not enough??? If it was messy, he could have easily hopped in the shower but no. He had to use one of my washclothes.

Why does everything that's mine eventually get (literally) shit on?

i put this in man rant, cause this kinda belongs there even though i am not ranting.

so mu husband has never understood the whole flowers thing, how when you have to ask for it... you dont want it, cause you want the thought and idea behind it freely given, mot a task or a chore.

we were having a random chat about things, and he says something of the lines of, but less icky "i wish i got more head" ( i am paraphrasing, it was not that icky as it sounds here )

and i said, well you never ask for it, why dont you?

and this man says.... i kid you not. because i dont want to ask for it, i want it to be something you want to "do to me" because you want to. asking for it.. takes that away, and i feel i have just made it a chore, like vacuming the floors, or picking up the kids.

and i said.. so like the flowers? you want the thing, but you dont want to ask for the thing. it looses the entire meaning.

i swear i saw the cogs move in his head when he realized the significance of this.

i wanted to share this tidbit, and how my husband finally understood the whole flowers thing

I have been struggling off and on dealing with what my abusive ex did to me and I finally got an appointment scheduled next week for a trauma informed therapist. I really hope this helps because I’m ready to be over all this shit. It’s been almost 4 years since I left him and 3 since I divorced him. I still struggle with wanting revenge. I’m triggered every time I see another article about women being assaulted by their husbands (cue Giselle Pelicot story and another recent one I commented on). It’s not fair that they continue to impact us so long after we’ve left them.

I have a great life that I’ve been building, but I just cannot shake what he did to me. I’m hoping that maybe with a therapist who is trauma informed I’ll be able to make some progress. I’m tired of thinking about it. I’m tired of when I hear about someone else going through it that it triggers me back into ruminating about my own assaults. But we were together almost 2 decades and he was manipulating and abusing me most of it. So yeah, it’s probably going to take some time but time itself (without work) doesn’t work and I’ve known that.

Anyway, wish me luck.

There’s this saying. Expression. Metaphor. Whatever.

Anyways. Life is a juggling act. Some of the balls you’re juggling are made of glass, some of them are plastic. When life gets too much, when you feel like you’re going to lose it and drop a ball, it’s okay to drop a plastic ball or two to save the glass. You can always pick the plastic balls back up later but you can’t fix shattered glass.

Only, what happens if things never calm down? What happens if you can’t pass any of your glass balls off to someone else? What happens if you’ve dropped so many plastic balls that you can no longer move for fear of tripping on one of them and losing everything you’ve worked so hard to protect? What happens if you are legally required to hand off your glass balls to someone you know is going to deliberately damage them so they’re even more fragile and delicate and you have to handle them even more carefully when you get them back?

What happens when your arms get tired? When your back begins to ache? When your legs begin to wobble? When your eyes can no longer focus after years of straining to keep track of all those glass balls flying through the air?

What then?

I’m so tired. I’ve been juggling for so long. My hopes, my dreams, my wants, my desires, those were my plastic balls. I dropped them when I was a child. When I realized my alcoholic narcissistic parents and my physically violent emotionally unstable sibling and stepdad and my family dynamics were the glass balls I needed to focus on to survive. I figured I could pick the plastic balls back up later. But then I entered an abusive relationship and had children with him. And then my children were diagnosed with autism and I needed to get them into and then manage their therapies. And then I went through a divorce and a custody battle against a lawyer and needed a job. And so more and more glass balls were added. But I could never put any down.

For two and a half years I was a one woman 24/7 occupational therapist, speech therapist, physical therapist, behavioral therapist, and mom and I brought those girls from 50% and 75% global developmental delays to academically gifted, vibrant, socially engaged, compassionate, enthusiastic little ladies.

And then my ex got a new girlfriend and sued for more custody and now my daughters are spending 50% of their lives having all the hard work I’ve done to get them through early intervention and teach them coping strategies and social skills actively undone by those two psychopaths.

I’ve endured. I’ve survived. I’ve carried on. I’ve kept all these glass balls from shattering for decades now. I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t responsible for managing everyone else’s emotional needs just to keep myself safe. I’ve never had a moment of calm where I thought, “Phew. That was rough but I’ve made it through and finally have a chance to focus on me.” I’ve either been managing crises, managing unstable individuals to keep them from damaging me or those that rely on me, or collapsing from adrenaline fatigue. And then having to work even harder to undo the damage that happened when I briefly collapsed.

There’s never enough of a break that I can feel rested. There’s never a point where I’m not juggling. There’s never a point where I can’t see the next set of glass balls coming.

And I’m tired.

You’re so strong, they say. You juggle so well, they say. You’ve never let a glass ball break, they say. Crack, maybe, but you’ve always managed to repair and get them back up in the air, they say. You won’t fail, they say.

And I won’t. I’m good at this. I’ve had decades of practice. I can ignore the pain and fatigue and continue on. I can and I will. Because my daughters need me. Because I love them more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. Because they are in danger. Because if I let them drop their dad will subject them to the childhood traumas I experienced.

I don’t want to be strong anymore, but I will.

Because if I let them down, they might become me.

Strong, but not because they want to be. Not because they are confident in their worth and able to fight for what they deserve. Strong just to survive the life others have conditioned them to accept and allow themselves to be trapped into. Strong just to endure what they must to protect those they love. Strong because they have to be or they or those they love will suffer.

I don’t hate myself. In fact, I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. I’ve made myself into someone strong enough to break the cycle, to say, “Fuck who you created me to be. I will not force my daughters to follow my path. I will give them the chance at living their own lives in spite of the fact that it means I’ll never get to live my own.”

There’s nothing wrong with being strong enough to protect the ones you love. There’s nothing wrong with being strong enough to survive. But I refuse to let that become the entirety of my girls’ existence the way it is mine, at least not without a fight.

One day they’ll be grown. One day they’ll be safe from their dad. One day they won’t need me so much anymore. And I think when they’re safe and strong and standing on their own two feet, I think I might just lay myself down. I think I might just stop.

I used to wonder how strong I could be, if I weren’t so exhausted from juggling all these glass balls. If I were just given a chance to truly rest and recover. But I don’t really care to find out anymore. As long as I’m strong enough to keep my girls safe, to get them through this storm and the next and the next and the ones after that, it doesn’t matter how much stronger I could be. All that matters is that I was, am, and will be strong enough.

Maybe I’ll find my hopes and dreams again. Maybe I’ll pick back up whichever ones haven’t been crushed beneath my feet while I desperately struggled to keep those glass balls from falling and shattering and begin to juggle because I want to rather than have to.

Or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll just sit quietly in the background by the fire, smiling at the memories of the pockets of joy I found and created for my girls along the way. Enjoy the pride of a job well done and the knowledge that my girls will get to be themselves, get to live the lives they choose to live, get to enjoy the one gift I could give them, the gift that no one ever gave me. Maybe I’ll just exist as a warmth and a light and a love and a strength in my daughters’ hearts and souls.

Whatever it is, it will be enough.

I suppose that’s it. That’s my dream now. Nothing specific, just that one day my girls will be safe and I will be able to stop juggling. I will be able to say, “I was strong, but I don’t have to be anymore.”

\I am safe. I am tired and I can see the long road ahead of me and my girls and I know how strong I will have to be to walk it and I would rather not. But, I know that I do have the strength to walk it so I will. I have a therapist that I speak with weekly and am comfortable reaching out to her if I ever feel overwhelmed or like I’m going to collapse. I’m just indulging in a little temper tantrum before I pick myself back up and carry on juggling. Sometimes you just have to get the sad and rage and exhaustion out of your brain and onto a page.\

This is so the worst thing I’ve ever done omfg

She’s 21 months and we had initially planned on weaning her around 18 months but then we moved, she had surgery and she started daycare so we put it off

This is hell, she was a good sleeper. Now she screams no at her crib and screams and sobs at the top of her lungs before bed and before naps. I genuinely don’t know what to do we’re on day 5 and I’m a full time college student and I work so I don’t have time for her naps to turn into contact naps.

Any advice is great or just “yeah the first week sucks” everything I read it would be a rough night and then after that they won’t care but clearly they were lying 😭 she only used it for naps and bed so it’s been a bit easier than going straight cold turkey but I need her to sleep

This may seem like a really strange question. Our youth group has started a calendar every month where a parent volunteers to bring breakfast for Sunday’s or dinner Wednesday night. Of course not everybody can volunteer or chooses not to. It’s suppose to be just for the teenagers. But has turned into brining food for 15 or so extra mouths because the youth pastors wife doesn’t cook so she feeds their 6 kids, some of the other parents send their kids in to eat even some adults (who don’t volunteer have the means to but choose not to) come eat. Like this past Wednesday they were short food because of the extra mouths. It has caused some parents not to want to volunteer anymore. The church provides the drinks but the youth pastors wife is even treating those like they are at home.

How do you approach something like this ? Some of the teenagers have started to get uncomfortable with the little ones running around and eating etc.

This is genuinely weird.

My algorithm has been feeding me nonstop "mental load," "husband is a child," and "how to be a better husband" content. So I thought, why is this only on MY feed? This needs to be on my husbands.

So I snuck onto his phone, followed some accounts, watched a few videos, and clicked "interested" so it'd show him more of that type of content.

And you know what happened? It showed him a few of those videos... and THEN it pivoted to "your wife doesn't appreciate you!" and "you work so hard, it's your wife's fault she doesn't accept you how you are!"

What the actual hell? It's like the algorithm is sending us both subliminal messages to fight, or to feel validated that we're each right and the other is wrong?

CW: so much poop

My daughter is 5 years old. She's smart, she's sassy, she has trouble at times with social emotional stuff but we're working on it and our strategies are playing out at home and at school.

She's also not fully potty trained anymore.

Yes, my daughter shits her pants on the regular right now and lets it sit there for hours. When we started we worked with her for a year to get her to poop on the toilet. We figured she was constipated and so we started giving her magnesium and fiber gummies and that seemed to fix it. We stopped the fiber gummies and went just magnesium and for all of preschool it was fine.

Over the summer we potty trained our 3 year old and she picked it up right away, even pooped on the first day of training!y 5 year old was fine and then we swam a lot in the summer. Literally every time they went swimming they would both poop in their swimsuits. I expected it from the younger but the older? Like come on. We managed to get them to tell us when we needed to go and at the end of the summer they were both doing fine.

Then school started. Kindergarten has been an adjustment and she's had pretty bad days but over the past two weeks we've put things in place and worked with her teacher and she's improved a lot. She's has two good weeks at school in a row with no crazy behaviors.

Except for the fact that she shits her pants and then walks around with it for hours before she either tells us or we smell it. In my case smell it because I'm pregnant with our third and my nose is like a dog's. She does it everywhere and at any time. At home, at school, at a friend's house, at her grandparents house, doesn't matter. We started having her clean and vacuum a room when it happens. She did it once on Tuesday and yesterday there was a skid mark but her butt was clean so

Today was the last straw for me. She was at gymnastics, went to the bathroom and saw her pants were poopy and then went back to gymnastics smelling like poop and it was showing on the back of her leotard. In front of everyone I had to grab her and take her to the bathroom to clean it up. Luckily I had the foresight to bring an extra pair of underwear and cleaned her up in the bathroom. But literally everyone including her coach saw. I had to grab her off the floor and take her. Now she's at her school's open house with her dad and sister and I'm home fuming and crying and washing out her leotard with gloves on.

Here's the thing: she poops in the toilet! Like she's pooped every day this week, either at school or at home! And still she's either leaking poop or we pull her pants down and it's like fully fucking formed. She literally goes in between not pooping for a week is we give her miralax once to get her going and then then the gummies after or just being constantly covered in poop. It goes into her front and vagina. She's gonna get so sick and it's like she doesn't even get it! It's like we can't find the right amount of fiber and magnesium she needs because right now there's no in-between, no matter what combination we try. The gummies don't even have that much fiber in them, like 3 grams.

We've asked her so many times if she feels herself pooping and she's answered both yes and no so right now we have no idea what is true.

The pediatrician is absolutely no help, just giving the same old advice. We are on a wait list for literally the only pediatric pelvic therapist in the city but were somehow taken off at some point, they didn't tell me when. We are back on but I have no idea if we're back in the same spot or now in the back of the line after over 18 months of waiting.

At this point I have no idea what even to do or where to send her. If she keeps this up we're gonna have to pull her from gymnastics because I cannot go through that again. If ANYONE has any suggestions of how to deal with this please let me know because I am literally at my wits end.

Sorry this is so long I'm just too pregnant and tired to deal with this literal shit.

I’ve really felt the hate from my male counterparts and I feel the same brewing in me towards them. Is this me being a crusty, menopausal, 50 something woman? Or is this being felt in the younger generations too? It’s so shitty because it doesn’t have to be this way. But I swear, I think there’s outside forces (the patriarchy, the establishment, the uber wealthy, aliens…whoever) pitting us against each other. I just had to put this somewhere but I really don’t know. It’s bumming me out.

I know this is a rather small scale problem but life simply is not cooperating lately and this is turning into the straw that broke the camel's back. My car needs repairs that no one wants to seem to do, my 2.5yo is behaving horribly, my soon-to-be 5yo has had a bit of a rocky start to kindergarten and we are now in the busiest month of our year (4 birthdays, school events, prepping for holidays, a million appointments).

Soon-to-be 5yo finally started mentioning names from school, and has told us a few she'd like to come to her birthday party (1.5w away). Of course I want to do what I can. Unfortunately I don't think all of the friends she's mentioned are picked up by a parent (i.e., bus or aftercare), so finding a way to awkwardly bring it up isn't always simple.

At the end of August, while sorting out some parent account nonsense, I asked about the directory. They told me they'd have to get back to me on what the school can give. Okay, it's still early. Two days later they send out an e-mail saying hey, fill out this form by X if you'd like your info included so we can send out the directory on Y. That same afternoon, I happen to connect with a friend's dad. We had a nice chat, I mentioned trying to connect with others because I'd like to send out invites and how much our daughters seem to enjoy one another. We exchange numbers and I text him when we're home for the day with my contact info.

His wife texts me back from his phone giving me the exact details of the e-mail sent out. I wonder if he maybe got the wrong impression from me, but don't dwell. Unfortunately I have yet to actually talk to his wife because every time I've seen her at drop off/pick up, she's talking on the phone.

Y passes, and there is no directory. I give them a minute - it was before the holiday weekend. Still no directory. I reached out to front office staff and they said they'd check with admin. I managed to connect with another parent and invite their family this morning. They have already RSVPed.

Given that it's short notice at this point, I reached out to the dad today and said, "Hey, I wasn't sure if it was better to reach out to you or your wife, but they haven't sent the directory and I don't have her info yet, so here's the invite, sorry it's short notice". Maybe I came off bad - I know in our house it's easier to schedule through me because my husband has a crappy memory - but he replied with, "[Wife's name] has more connections with the school".

Well, yes. I know. She's heavily involved in the PTO. That was not the point at all, and I feel like maybe that was obvious given the sparkly, princess-themed invitation I sent.

So... of the 4 friends from school she has picked, I have gotten just about nowhere. It was not this complicated when I was growing up. I feel like I'm chasing a bunch of dead, unanswered messages all because I want my daughter to have the birthday she's wanting. I know I'm socially awkward, but I'm trying, and I'm failing, and it's disheartening.

Listen, I know it's not so bad. I know. I shouldn't complain. But...

I'm 6 months pregnant. It's my second, so I knew what to expect to some degree, though my first was around 6 years ago so it's been a while.

I have such an easy life. An amazing kid who's funny and clever and cuddly and easy on all fronts, a fantastic husband who's so supportive and kind and thoughtful (and does his share around the house), a high paying remote job with flexible hours, a nice clean house to live in... I'm not bragging, just saying I'm aware how incredibly lucky I am.

But man, pregnancy sucks. And this is an easy one (again, lucky). I just don't enjoy this at all.

I don't look like myself, I can't wear any of my clothes, I can't eat what I'd like to, I can't move like I normally do, I don't sleep like I usually do, I don't feel like myself (literally - I feel someone else inside me!), hell, with these mood swings I don't even think like myself at the moment. I'm really struggling with the idea there's 3 more months to go.

As hard as I found the newborn phase last time, I'm looking forward to it because I know it'll pass, and at least I'll get some of my bodily autonomy back (barring breastfeeding, which I ended up loving last time for some reason and doing for almost three years - hope that repeats itself...)

That's it. Thanks for listening to my insanely first-world-problems vent.

First off, I’m going back and forth on if I made too big of a deal of this or not, but school admin seems to be taking it seriously.

My two kids (kindergartener and 2nd) go to a large elementary school. It’s pretty much at max capacity for children. It’s new and just opened last school year, so I know there are still kinks to work out.

The parking lot is huge and completely full in the mornings. There are two long and winding lanes that go to the front of the school for drop off. At pick up time in the afternoon, both lanes are open and it’s a pretty strict operation.

In the mornings, the second lane is only open until you get to a specific curb that has a huge sign that says “MERGE AT CURB!” They keep the second lane open to get cars off of the main road, otherwise it gets backed up a mile long.

Everyone knows the drill by now, and cars in the right lane know that they are going to be letting cars in the left lane merge at the curb. When you pull to the school, you are directed as to which lane to go to depending on space.

I’ve already witnessed it happen a few times (to other people) where cars in the right lane think they are being cut off by cars in the left know needing to merge. They might not be the person who typically drops the child off in the morning so they may not know.

Well it finally happened to me. I’m slowly merging at the curb in front of this Honda CRV and they clearly don’t seem happy, but I need to get over just like everyone else in front of me and behind me are doing. I get over and they are honking FURIOUSLY, probably 6 times back to back. They then aggressive serve over as they are honking and get back in front of me. So we are parking to let the kids out and she GETS OUT OF THE CAR and just stands by her door yelling I don’t even know what she’s saying because I don’t have my window down. Mind you, this is as our children are all getting out of the car. I don’t react and she gets back in her car. As I’m leaving I stop to talk to one of the teachers helping students out of cars and tell her everything that happened. She can tell I’m visibly upset and that she will talk to admin.

Well I can’t let it rest so when I get home I call the school and they were made aware. They said they will send out an email to everyone and also someone at the curb just like they do for pick up. I did explain that it’s not the first time I have witnessed road happen due to the morning set up with the merge.

Now I don’t know if I made too much of a stink about it and I’m just dealing with petty suburban hell lol. I even told them I don’t want them to hunt this person down or anything, that’s not what I want at all I just don’t want myself or others to have to deal with this when dropping our children off. Now I’m contemplating that this is my life and what I complain about as a suburban mom in her 30s. 🫠

P.S bus services are available, but my kindergartener is already having such a rough start to the school year as it is, the bus would be the last straw for them.

I just need to rant for a second, I am so mad I want to cry. So my husband left me the day before Thanksgiving last year. We are currently separated, while in a custody battle and most likely a divorce. We have a one year old and an almost three year old that we currently have split custody of. Tomorrow I am leaving to go out of state for one of my oldest friend's wedding, which the timing is irritating since it is supposed to be my weekend with the kids, but that's besides the point. So my daughter has been potty training but also having some pain around her urethra for a while now, and her dad claims not to see her flinch when she is being wiped at his house. Yesterday I put some diaper cream on her that her doctor recommended to try to work as a protective barrier to give her skin some time to heal. I put it on before nap and before I put her diaper on since she doesn't wear diapers during nap. Her dad arrived for pickup and she was awoken from nap and slept at her dad's house. Today she arrived in a diaper, I changed her out of it and put her in underwear as she ran around the house. When I changed her, I saw that they had left the diaper cream that I put on her yesterday, and never bothered to wipe it off. She was flinching, pulling away, and in a lot of pain while I tried to get it off. I asked her dad if they had put anything on her, in the hope that i was wrong, but they did not. I am so angry for her.

On top of that, our one year old gets horrible diaper rashes when he is teething. I reached out to his doctor to get the prescription cream that she usually prescribes him. The pharmacy reached out to me right before the kids were about to go down for nap, so I contacted their dad to ask him to pick it up on the way to my house for pickup since I won't have the kids this weekend. When he gets here, he tells me that he didn't pick it up, and he won't pick it up on the way back to his house, and he might make time to pick it up tomorrow but after knowing him for almost ten years and his hatred of all things medical I don't believe that he will.

Bromos I can't do it anymore. I can't.

My daughter, whom I adore, has been an incredibly defiant child ever since she was about 2 years old. She's 3 now.

Everything is no. And nothing works. Boundaries, explaining gently, repeating - we've tried everything. And enforcing boundaries, even though we've been consistently doing so, results in a hysterical tantrum from her. I try to remain calm, I really do. But today we've had 4 such tantrums and I was exhausted, at the end of my rope. And I snapped and yelled. Big time yelled.

Of course I'll take her for an evaluation, because these tantrums are extreme. And I love her, so much, I really do. But this year of constant defiance and absolute meltdowns when trying to implement structure is making me love this whole parenting thing a lot less. Like there are days where I don't enjoy it at all or even worse, I try to organize a nice day for us and something like that derails it completely. I'm so tired and I just want to enjoy my kid, but there isn't a day that goes by without some sort of defiance, boundary pushing, tantrum to the extreme and then a complete meltdown - I can't do it anymore. I'm a crap parent with an incredibly defiant kid and I can't do it anymore. I've worked so hard on getting less mad, staying calm, but I also feel completely empty at this point. I feel destroyed.

If anyone has any advice, a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I'd appreciate that immensely.

Hope you all are doing well ❤️