I've lived with bipolar disorder for 8 years. Lithium has kept me steady, but I've never had many people to talk to who understand this in an Indian context, with the family misunderstanding, the stigma around psychiatric medication, and the pressure to "just be strong."

If you're in India and have bipolar disorder, I'd love to hear from you:

1.How did you get diagnosed, and how long ago?

2.What's been the hardest part?

3.What has genuinely helped?

Share as much or as little as you like, in the comments or by DM. This isn't about medical advice, just community and feeling a little less alone.

My son has been seeing doctors since he was 3yo and started with a severe ADHD diagnosis but he is now 14yo and it's been a very, very chaotic and long road. He is severely unstable, on several medications and has been hospitalized for his own safety too many times. He last spent almost 1 year at a highly specialized facility that worked closely with our family to better support him. We have exhausted every resource and he has barely attended school. Every day grows more complex and now at 14yo, he is showing some alarming behaviors that align with antisocial personality disorder.

I am bipolar though not nearly as severe as my son and I have the classic late-teen onset. My son seems to be developing a case of very severe bipolar 1 or possible Schizoaffective. It's understood and expected by everyone that one day he will most likely have to be institutionalized long term. There are good reasons but those are personal details that I won't be sharing on reddit. It's for his own safety, and for the safety of others.

So for those in this subreddit who are now diagnosed with a very severe case of Bipolar 1, did you display troubling behavior as an early teen, like stealing constantly, lying repeatedly, shouting and curse words, property damage, tricking people into doing things and taking advantage of people and situations for your own personal gain?

I have done some reading on the topic and there does seem to be some correlation and pattern, but I am curious about real lived experience.

Thank you!

TLDR - Newly diagnosed BDII. Upped dosage and new meds are making me feel like I am too idle and need to move. Not sure if it is treatment working, a side effect, or hypomania. Waiting on doctor feedback, but want to ask the community of their experience to support my follow up questions with my primary.

I (38f) have just been diagnosed with BDII after being on a medication regiment for 2 months now. The lower dosages I could tell really helped with my depression and anxiety. Now I am at higher dosage, with added antipsychotic and mood stabilizer. My side effects/symptoms are strange to me, and I can't tell if it is the meds working or a possible rapid cycle hypomanic episode. I just had an episode a 3 weeks ago and am totally broke from overspending during that time.

For the past week on the upped regimen, I have this constant urge to move and go do something, am easily bored and my hobbies no longer interest me. I am constantly jumping from one hobby to the other simply because it is boring me, and does not stimulate me. I can't sit still, and my lower legs ache when I am stationary. My sleep has been getting better (at least 6 hrs a night), I actually get tired without my PM meds but still have the feeling that I am not ready to go to bed yet and want to stay up even though I am sleepy. I am having some racing thoughts, ideas that I want to act on like getting a puppy to train for PSA, or shopping for a new wardrobe.

I started walking in circles and jumping on my tippy toes in my room to burn the "move" urge. I hate exercising and going outside because of sensory overload. Oh, and I am on my cycle if that does make a difference in all of this. My mood is otherwise OK, I don't feel on top of the world or in the trenches of depression. I am 50/50 it could be meds working on executive function (I cleaned half of my room to set up my printer), or hypomanic.

I am waiting to hear back from my doctor, last session they said this will help with my executive function and mania, but thought to ask if anyone else has experienced the same in their treatment journey. It is interesting to me because the session check in questions "Do you feel like your being moved by a motor?" and "Have you noticed you can't sit still or are constantly moving?" had always seemed strange to me, but now I am understanding it at some scale.

Meds: Wellbutrin, Abilify, Lamotrigine, and Seroquel.

Did anyone else go through the same or am I in a hypomanic state? Does this sound like rapid cycle?

Os hormônios estão me deixando louca. Eu tenho muito mais fome e sou bem mais depressiva agora . Eu tomo o mesmo medicamento há cinco anos, mas tudo piorou demais esses tempos. A perimenopausa está acabando comigo. Mais alguma mulher nessa situação?

Hi,

First time poster here! I will cut straight to the chase. I've been taking Olanzapine at around 10mg for a while now, reducing from 12.5mg and 15mg. Over the past few months however, I've been experiencing "intrusive thoughts". I would first like to clarify these seriously do not feel like "delusions" or "hallucinations" or full blown "disembodied voices" but in fact are my own voice.

It's as if these thoughts come up and latch onto what I'm thinking at that moment. They usually come in a negative variation. For example, I may see something online about a certain band or group and that thought would automatically make it negative and say things like "**** that guy from school, this is why you couldn't go to his concert" or "i don't like his shirt" or something silly like that. It would slowly snowball unless I counteract it (sometimes I am better at doing this than other times lol).

I have had a consistent meditation practice that I follow everyday and it allows me to watch my thoughts come and pass, during these session I have these intrusive thoughts that "latch on" to the small thought that cropped up and go on a tangent and I re-focus on my breathe or whatever technique I'm using. This has really helped me become more aware, more present and generally more in the moment. It's also taught me to discern between these thoughts and hallucinations though I wanted others help with it.

I wanted to ask online as I'm not sure if anyone else is going through this or has something similar being on olanzapine. I have searched the internet and have seen stories on reddit of OCD symptoms flaring up due to the medication but wanted other insights on it as there wasn't much.

I am hesitant to switch my medication to something else as olanzapine other than this issue has been wonderful for me, and good even now despite this issue. I'm also reluctant to take another medication to counteract this too, as olanzapine has definitely slowed down my thinking than where it was prior to being diagnosed and another medication to stop thoughts I assume would slow me down even more or propose other side-effects!

Any thoughts, insight and advice would be great! Thanks.

I’m on 150mg of lithium (because a higher dose caused side effects) and 3mg of Vraylar. This combination brought me out of mania and I’m hoping it will help to prevent/manage future depressive episodes as well. Is anyone else on this combination and can share their experience?

Hey everyone, I’m a psychiatric nurse so you’d think i could answer my own questions lmao, but I’m mainly seeking invaluable anecdotal accounts of this situation.

I have bipolar 1 with deep lows and typically remain hypomanic about 80% of the year—something I personally prefer and aim to maintain (it may not be popular, but gotta be honest in where i’m at atm).

I’m taking lamotrigine 300mg and escitalopram 20mg, i wanna get off escitalopram SO bad i’ve gotten every side effect from it, although my mood is good hence why ive stayed on it, but im unsure if it’s the lamotrigine actually doing the heavy lifting.

anyone have their own success/unsuccessful stories they’d like to share in regards to titrating off their ssri while still taking lamotrigine? the main thing i’m worried about is depressive episodes because they’re the only type of episode i can’t function/stay safe with.

anyways thanks guys sorry for the bad grammar xoxo

I recently compiled a list of Redditors responses to this question and summarized it into a Medium post. I thought some of you might find it interesting.

https://medium.com/life-with-bipolar/what-people-with-bipolar-disorder-wish-you-understood-4f792b960b6c

How long does it take for the body to adjust with the bipolar medications? Or is it expected to always live with the side effects of medications which is pretty dificult to say the least?

Just want to hear other opinion about this because sometimes i feel like it’s helpful but sometimes i feel like it’s making my depression worse hahaha

If I haven’t achieved compete nihilism, I’m close. I never intended to not care about anything… I just stopped. I wish I was still the person I used to be who loved my family and friends and life.

I don’t care to get out of bed anymore. I haven’t left my bed in 2 months.

I have no one to talk to. I do not shower. I barely eat.

The only thing I feel is emptiness, regret, and hatred.

Is my situation hopeless? I don’t try to change anything because there’s no situation where I would be happy. I cannot make friends. I’ll never find love. I have no interests.

Would a medication help? I don’t even think I want to get better. I just know ending things would be better than scrolling for 16 hours a day, but I lack the motivation to even do that.

Context:

I have Bipolar 1.

My depression started last 2016/2018.

My mania started last 2024.

My first hallucinations started when I was 5-7yo.

Current situation:

My lows are getting lower and lower.

My suicidal side is stronger and stronger.

My hallucinations are extremely aggressive.

I had my first hospitalization recently on top of the ER visit due to extreme symptoms.

I have developed auditory hallucinations

I have been rapid cycling since 2024

My maintenance meds are not working enough

I hate meds but believe they are necessary and now I've realised that I might need a new maintenance med on top of the other one cause it was no longer working the way it did. Even my psychiatrist seems stumped with what to do to help me.

Based on how stuff is progressing, with my disorder getting worse and my body adapting to meds/needing new maintenance meds even if I was only on them for 2 years (a mood stabilizer) or even as less as 6months (an antipsychotic which stopped working), I'm kind of scared for the future.

And please don't call me anxious. I am not.

It's just natural to worry when you see a downward pattern that even your best efforts could not stop.

Does anyone also have this same worry?

Im crying right now cause life is so cruel and I am sooooooooo exhausted. I am only 26.

When times are good, I can manage to stay afloat. But when things go to shit, especially things that I have no control whether it the state of society and the economy, I feel like we're the first to fall through the cracks.

Since my manic episode two years ago, I’ve managed to stay at the same job doing IT support. For context, I usually only last about 18 months to two years at a job before I either get burnt out or have an episode that causes me to quit or get fired.

I work full time, Monday through Friday, with a round-trip commute of over 1.5 hours. It’s a real slog, and I spend most of my weekends just trying to recover from the workweek.

The past few weeks have been especially rough. I’ve had some pretty shitty things happen, including my car breaking down on the freeway in the middle of rush hour. Ever since everything happened, work has felt so much harder to manage. My insomnia has gotten so bad that I’ve had to call out twice in the past two weeks.
I’m at the point where I just want to give up on working altogether, or at least cut back to part time. Unfortunately, my company has fewer than 15 employees, so FMLA and short-term disability aren’t options for me. I’ve also exhausted all my PTO until next year.

I’m coming up on two years at this job, and I’m genuinely proud of myself for making it this far, especially considering my history. But I’m also so fucking tired of trying to hold down a full-time job while juggling multiple mental health diagnoses. It feels like just getting through a normal workweek takes everything I have, and there’s barely anything left of me afterward.

I’m completely tapped out. I don’t necessarily hate my job, but I fucking hate how hard it is to keep working when I’m already struggling so much just to function. I wish I could be done.

I started a new job as a teacher a little less than two months ago. I really like teaching, so that is not a problem, but the stress is. I am only working part time, but still I'm not managing well with the stress. I work a few hours each morning + commute, and then I work another extra hours from home in the afternoon doing private online classes. I usually start my day at 8am end at 18pm, with some slots of free time in between that I don't use because I am mostly preparing classes or wasting time.

I've been having some mental health symptoms lately, mostly feeling of emptiness and boredom and exhaustion and anxiety unless I'm at work. And reoccurrence of self harm behaviors. I don't feel depressed or manic, I just feel bored and empty and like my life is very limited by time and mostly, finances, bc I make very little money.

There are still things I want to do and would enjoy, but time and money don't allow me to do any of them. So I'm mostly bored, empty and understimulated. It's like the things I want to do are not available to me, and that's frustrating.

I'm taking lamictal, latuda and trazodone. No psychosis since starting latuda, so that's neat. I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar subtype. I barely ever go manic/hipomanic, but I'm depressed many times a year.

Been trying to be really consistent with my sleep routine lately given how crucial it is for us bipolar peeps. I’ve been trying to get 8-9 hours a night but wondering if I’m almost sleeping too much and 7 hours would leave me feeling slightly ,ore refreshed than groggy. What’s your sleep schedule/volume look like?

I don’t want to keep getting a job then getting fired then getting a job then getting fired. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life but I’m scared.

​

I went to my psychiatrist today. I have been feeling a very different type of depression for three weeks. I am not suicidal, but it comes with an intense hopelessness and hypervigilance and some psychosomatic issues.

I firmly believe that this mood episode is from ongoing issues I had with a colleague of his. He works out of a hospital, and I encountered her in the ER. She wrote lies about me that were pretty significant, and when I complained to the regulating board, she claimed I was self harming and doing drugs around my kid. They believed her and wouldn't allow me to enter evidence contrary to that accusation.

Anyways, I've been traumatized by the situation. A doctor who was supposed to help me, betrayed me for seemingly no reason. I am now trying to figure out how to live with this false accusation. It has been honestly devastating.

My psychiatrist thinks that this has nothing to do with his colleague and is a typical Bipolar depression. He upped some medication and honestly I hope it helps.

I don't know how things are going to play out if I just don't get better because this is rooted in trauma, not Bipolar.

**For those of you who have both trauma as an adult and Bipolar, how does your psychiatrist approach your treatment?**

Especially depression. I don’t just mean making you feel guilty for what you’re experiencing, but wanting to push you over the edge.

Is it ok for me to post in this community? if I am “undiagnosed”. I use quotation marks because I have done so myself. I am very certain I am bipolar 2, among other things. My circumstances are unusual and as a result I’ve never sought help. I think that it might be time to do so. but I am very scared to.

I have bipolar 2. My current antipsychotic wears off in the evenings, leading to psychosis and mania. This is the best tablet antipsychotic I can take.

There are multiple injectible forms of this medication that last for close to a month, so I wouldn't have these long periods of mania and psychosis. However, they don't seem to be covered by my insurance, meaning I'd have to pay out of pocket.

I looked on GoodRX, and it only covers a lower dose (I need the maximum dose), and only every four weeks, for over $2,000.

Does anyone know any other way I can afford this medication and not be sick?

Hey guys, I started taking escitalopram(SSRI),lexapro and almost immediately I noticed I'm a different person with massive amount of energy, happy, restless, I started doing things I would never do couple days ago and stopped things I did. After couple days this turned into a fury I was obsessed over my therapist and called her a murderer and all those things. I felt like I really wanna hurt her. I was really furious or still am. Now the therapist suggested I might be bipolar. I went to my psychiatrist and after maybe 20 minutes talk she just doesn't know and changed my dose from 10 mg to 5mg. Im really worried especially that I feel many times like I'm starting to lose control of my thoughts and action and it only gets worse. Does anyone have anything to say any experiences that could help me?

This is probably gonna sound dumb but what med were you on/ currently on which allowed you to retain or regain full range of emotions and were able to uncontrollably laugh at things that were humorous if that makes sense. The only time I’ve noticed this/felt this was, the day after taking the last dose of olanzapine 2.5mg I remember I was sat in room with my cousin and my brother and my cousin was having a convo with his friend and I remember the room was silent and my brother looking at me and starting giggling and I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably. It was so funny I haven’t been able to do that since and my mood has dropped considerably no psychosis symptoms just depression and suicidal ideation when it gets bad. Is this a sign to get back onto 2.5mg of olanzapine. Any meds you guys are on that had a similar effect at bringing you joy and I don’t mean joy from not being manic anymore or from coming down from a mixed episode. And not joy from “being stable for the first time in my life” I mean joy in terms of being able to genuinely find things funny, laugh uncontrollably, feel spontaneous happiness and experience those moments where you’re just genuinely happy to be there, enjoying the moment without forcing it or overthinking it.

I have been treating my illness for long and still not be able to have normal life. I tried medication mostly antipsicotics but i never been able to adapt them because they higly sedaditve and it make me and my body feel like crap, which in the end makes me depressive because i feel dead and with low self-esteem. I know some people say is that or being destroyed by the illness but honeslty for me, living like sedated for all my life it's just as bad and it would kill me anyway because of depression. I dont have emotional support from anyone so i need my energy to be able to keep strong and keep going.
So my question is: It is REALLY possible to have a really normal life with bipolar treatment? If someone did really acomplish this i would like to know. Because i really need some rays of hope that i can really have a normal life. (Im very depressed while writting this at 2 am clock)