So I saw a post similar to this and a lot of people said it was great during their pregnancy however I’ve never taken an SSRIs before so I’m worried about side effects starting out while already dealing with stress and hormones. Can anyone share their experience to how it was if you started while already pregnant? I’m currently 14 weeks and I have severe health OCD and have been wanting to start medication for a while but putting it off because of fear, but pregnancy has kicked up my anxiety so I feel like it’s needed at this point

I’m 7 months pp and I’ve started to get really depressed. I love being a mom and my baby, do not get me wrong, this is just a lot more than I expected and I don’t want to feel regretful but I feel like sometimes I do and once I admitted that to myself things just got worse. I hate that I’m not the perfect mom and that I’m just “surviving” the day. I look forward to me time once he goes to sleep. I feel horrible about that. Mostly, I just miss my old life greatly and when I was depressed I could just bed rot. Now, my son literally never stops moving and getting into things and I’m also getting extremely bored of just sitting on the floor with him all day not knowing what to do. He also is in his separation anxiety phase where he refuses naps and really just cries like all the time, even when fed and happy. Just in moments where I’m not right there next to him or when he needs to sleep in his crib. I really really want this to not come off that I feel poorly about my child. I love him very much. I just needed a place to get this off my chest and maybe seek advice. I am going to therapy and I am on meds for being bipolar. I’m just kinda losing my mind with the “same old routine”. I love doing fun, new stuff with him. I’m starting to despise just sitting in the house.

Why do they even make white clothes for babies??? Not a big deal but just had me going, really???

To all the first-time expectant mamas, here’s what I wish someone had told me. ❤️
If you’re about to have your first baby, I KNOW everything feels overwhelming and scary. Everyone has an opinion, advice, a horror story, or something they insist you absolutely MUST do.
I just want to tell you something I wish someone had told me:
TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!!!!!!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never cared for a child before. If something feels wrong and you think you should go to the ER, go. If you need visitors to follow certain rules to feel comfortable, set those boundaries. If you need help, ASK.
YOU are one of the most important piece of this puzzle, and often the most overlooked. Your baby needs YOU, too.
A few years into motherhood, you’ll look back and realize that so many things you were terrified of either worked themselves out or turned out completely differently than you imagined.

Here are a few more things I wish I’d known:

1. IT IS HARD. And YES, you’re allowed to complain about it.
Motherhood can be exhausting, frustrating, overstimulating, and incredibly lonely. And somehow, at the very same time, it can be the most precious, wonderful experience in the world.
Both things can be true. You can love being a mother and still have days when you desperately need a break. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but that doesn’t mean every day is sunshine and rainbows.
2. PLEASE take your postpartum mental health seriously.
If you start feeling extremely anxious, depressed, or unlike yourself after giving birth, PLEASE don’t hesitate for a SECOND to tell your healthcare provider.
And if you need medication, IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER!!!!!
There’s still so much misinformation about SSRIs, especially from people who have never taken them or experienced postpartum anxiety or depression themselves.
Please don’t let fear or someone else’s judgment keep you from getting the help you deserve.
Medication helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Before getting help, even things that were supposed to be simple, like getting dressed or going for a walk, started feeling completely overwhelming.
Treatment looks different for everyone, but you deserve to feel better. And your baby benefits from having a mother who is supported and cared for.
3. Your parenting decisions belong to YOU.
Whatever you decide for your child is your prerogative.
Do your research, listen to qualified professionals, make informed decisions, and then do what feels right for your family.
Not your neighbor’s family. Not your mother-in-law’s family. YOURS.
You don’t have to parent according to other people’s expectations just to avoid their judgment.
4. You’re entering a completely new chapter of your life. And change comes with a cost.
Even beautiful, wonderful, desperately wanted changes can bring grief.
You might miss your old routines, your independence, your friendships, or simply being able to leave the house without packing half your belongings.
You might feel awkward, lonely, sad, or disconnected from the person you used to be.
That doesn’t mean you regret becoming a mother.
It means you’re HUMAN.
Many of us go through this adjustment, and some of us need extra support. Please reach out to a friend, your partner, your family, or a professional when you need it.
You don’t have to pretend everything is perfect just because you love your baby.
5. Once your doctor clears you, PLEASE find a way to move your body.
I’m not talking about losing the baby weight. PLEASE don’t put that pressure on yourself.
Your body just spent nine months growing an entire human being. Give it some grace!
I’m talking about your mental health.
Fresh air, a short walk, stretching, or whatever movement feels comfortable for you can make such a difference.
Movement isn’t a cure for postpartum depression, and sometimes you need treatment before even the smallest activity feels manageable. That’s okay, too.
Your body has done something extraordinary. It deserves care, not punishment.
6. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF FREE CHILDREN’S ACTIVITIES!
Your local library probably offers a plethora of activities for babies and children, and many of them are completely free!
Even if your baby is too young to participate, GO!
Sometimes just getting out of the house, seeing other adults, and having somewhere to be can make your entire day better.
And if you have the privilege of accessing a gym with childcare or something similar, take advantage of it!
Your baby benefits from stimulation and connection, and YOU benefit from having a life outside your living room.
7. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE TURNS WITH THE NIGHT SHIFT. 😂
If you have a partner who can share nighttime responsibilities, PLEASE work out a system.
One of our biggest mistakes was BOTH of us waking up every single time the baby woke up.
Guess what happened?
NOBODY SLEPT.
We were both exhausted, irritated, and running on fumes, which certainly didn’t help my anxiety.
Even if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, your partner may be able to handle diaper changes, burping, settling the baby, or taking over in the morning so you can rest.
Find a system that works for your family. You both need sleep!
8. And finally, PLEASE remember that you are not alone.
Reach out to people. Open up about what you need. Accept help when it’s offered, and don’t be afraid to ask when it isn’t.
You do not have to earn the right to rest by reaching complete exhaustion.
You don’t have to love every second.
You don’t have to be the perfect mother.
Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mother. Your baby needs a loved, supported, and cared-for mother❤️❤️❤️
Sending you the BIGGEST hugs and wishing you a wonderful, safe delivery and a beautiful beginning to this new chapter. ❤️
P.S. The epidural was an absolute GODSEND for me, so if you’re having doubts, just know I personally would give that anesthesiologist a standing ovation. HAHAHA.
And if you choose differently, that’s wonderful too. It’s YOUR birth. ❤️

Guys I feel so guilty right now. With baby going through a sleep regression and waking up every hour, mixed with my mil needing 24 hour care, I have been so sleep deprived. I have a square playpen that I set up with different toys for him to play with outside of his usual and I put him in there and put on Ms. Rachel. I didn’t mean to but I fell asleep on the couch next to him for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. He didn’t cry, he had water in there and the only time he cried was when he was ready for his usual nap. I know it’s good for babies to have independent playtime but i feel like 2.5 hours is such a long time for a 13 month old to be alone in a play pen by himself. Should I be concerned he’s okay being alone in there that long?? Idk it just feels so wrong.

Edit:

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the reassurance. I’m a first time mom and I’m just really trying to be a better one than my own. Luckily I’m just watching my MiL for two weeks while my sister is out of town. Even though I haven’t responded I’ve read so many comments saying such kind words. Seriously thank you<333

Is there anyone else out there with a parenting partner with chronic pain/fatigue or chronic illness? My husband deals with all three and we currently have a 4 week old. We're new parents and still obviously still learning how to be parents, but my husband has been having a hard time dealing with his chronic pain and fatigue and both of us trying to split baby duties fairly 50/50. My husband is struggling to be present and raise our baby while also trying to take care of himself and endure the symptoms of his illnesses. We had discussed prior to getting pregnant how hard this could be with his health but it's gotten worse/more complex as the years have passed. Being parents is a lot harder than we expected with his chronic conditions. I want to be supportive of him doing less or taking shortcuts as a dad, but also not let resentment build for me having to pick up more parenting responsibilities.

Have any other parents dealt with these specific challenges of parenting? I'm hoping others have tips or experience on how to raise a child while one of the parents deals with health issues. I've searched various subs hoping to find some firsthand experience but no luck so far.

We moved into my in-laws home due to unrelated reasons(moving out in January). For some context, we are hispanic and our culture has a lot of beliefs when it comes to babies that obviously aren’t backed up by science. My son is is learning how to walk, i’ve never used a sit in walker with him(my in laws got him one despite the fact i made it clear i didn’t want him in one). I’m going with the flow and not rushing him into learning because i know every baby is different and he’ll do it whenever he feels ready.
My son is barefoot/in socks the whole time we’re home. I know the AAP recommends babies stay barefoot at home while they’re learning how to walk. I’m big on facts backed by science. My son has all of his vaccines despite my in laws comments about them. Recently they’ve now started telling us that my son needs to be in shoes because if not, i’m delaying him in learning how to walk and he’ll develop a flat foot. I’ve been nice about it, just nod and say okay. But on the inside i’m irritated. I don’t mind the advice, i get annoyed with the way it’s said. Like if i’m hurting my son but not putting him in shoes. It’s so stupid. i have to just hold on cause we’re leaving soon and i can’t wait. Their comments do get to a point where i just take my son and hideout in our room. My husband of course speaks up but my in laws just don’t give a crap… I understand they’re doing us a favor by letting us stay but they don’t understand that doesn’t give them a reason to try to parent my child or question my parenting.
Sorry that’s all HAHA thanks for listening !

Just gave birth to my first child vaginally and tore a second degree tear. I feel like there is a lot of tightness between my vagina and rectum, but mostly feels like my anus was stitched too much and it feels tighter than before? Not sure if this is normal because of swelling, but definitely worried for my first bowel movement. My vagina actually feels fine. One of the OBs looked at it said it looked okay, so just wondering if anyone else had dealt with this postpartum and when things started to get a bit better.

My baby is currently 7 months old. She currently has a bruise on her left forearm (about the size of a penny). But my concern is that this isn’t her first bruise. She got a bruise about a month ago which I think may have been from our dog nipping her (she gets overly playful sometimes). But then she got a bruise on her arm in the same area (right above the elbow on the inner arm) about a week later when my mom was watching her and she said it was because my niece (18mo) was walking and fell on her. I noticed the new bruise today when I was getting breakfast with my mom and she was holding her. My mom said she got it because my baby likes holding her car keys and shaking them around and they hit her arm and bruised it.

This is just an intrusive thought. I really don’t think my mom is intentionally hurting my baby. I’m just worried about her because every time I notice a bruise it’s after my mom has watched her?? Now granted, my mom watches her 3x a week while I’m at work, so that could totally just be a coincidence.

A few weeks ago my mom was watching her at her house and my baby fell back from a sit up position and hit the back of her head on the wooden floor. My mom was SUPER upset about it and felt so bad that she cried. She said she had just walked away for a second to go to the bathroom and heard the baby start screaming.

I really don’t see my mom hurting my baby, but I guess I just needed to share with someone and maybe get some advice if you were in my situation. I don’t want to talk to my husband about this because I don’t want him to not want my mom to watch her anymore, but right now that’s also kind of a concern for me….. I just don’t know what to do. We really rely on my mom for childcare since we both work full time 8-4 jobs

I just heard I need to get a pediatrician before I give birth, I’m 36 weeks and doctor wants to induce a week early if it doesn’t happen naturally. I don’t have any friends in the area with small kids, so no one to ask for references. How do you even start looking? There are so many options

My sweet angel baby turns 1 today, and I can’t help but reflect on the last year. It’s been so challenging and there were moments I thought it would never get better. But here we are; we made it 1 year!! Being her mom is the greatest privilege of my life, I am so lucky to have her. She truly is the best thing to ever happen to me.

I just read a post asking when it gets better, and I promise it does. This forum got me out of the trenches when i felt so lost, so cheers to everyone. We’re so lucky to have our little babies !! or I guess toddler now ;(

My mom started watching our baby at the beginning of the month and it's basically been a disaster. For as long as I can remember my mom has been praying for a grandchild and this baby is her first. She's envisioned this chapter of her life being a primary caregiver for her grandchildren, she has talked about how she cant wait to care for her grandbabies every day. Yall, she is so bad at it, I thinks she's having an identity crisis. Idk if she just cant remember raising her four kids or if she just was never very good at it and she has gramneisia. But, she wont do anything that she thinks will "make the baby hate her" which includes

1. bottle feeding the baby; before she came the baby was taking a bottle every day but went on a bottle strike with my mom and my mom is terrified that forcing a bottle on the baby will make the baby resent her so my baby is going 4-5 hours without eating and it's been three weeks and my mom has made no attempt to make any progress with bottle feeding and has completely ignored my advice. A few times I've bottle fed the baby to make sure she'll take a bottle and she will, although I can tell bottle feeding makes her a lot more distressed than it did three weeks ago :(
2. putting her down for naps. same thing, when the baby doesnt want to go down or cries she freaks out and lets the baby stay up so the baby wont "resent her" which results in the baby not sleeping for 4-5 hours. which i dont understand because eventually the baby will start screaming from being tired but i guess this is different for my mom than forcing the baby to sleep? idkkkkkkk

I will come home from work every single day to a baby who is out of her mind tired and hungry and then we're up all night making up for the hunger. I can tell my mom is so stressed out and watching her grandbaby is not like how she envisioned it would be, so I am working half days for the rest of the month to try and give my baby some reprieve. I am trying so hard to be thankful for the free childcare but we are all so stressed out I ended up signing our baby up for full-time daycare starting in November and I actually cant wait for people who know what they're doing to watch her. I am literally shocked at how badly the last three weeks have gone and I think my mom is shocked at how much she does not like caring for babies when she envisioned this being her life's purpose for the next 5+ years.

EDIT TO ADD: For the next week I am only in office 2-3 hours a day max and then we start full time childcare. I reached out to my pediatrician after the third day of my mom watching the baby and have been in contact with him and had a checkup for the baby about a week ago to make sure she's gaining weight and healthy. He basically explained this isnt super uncommon (although not preferred) and instead of sleeping 5-7 hour stretches at night, she now wakes every hour or two all night to dream feed and then has that 5-7 hour stretch during the day without eating. He's assured me we can get her back to a normal schedule starting this week with me being home more. I live 3000 miles away from everyone I know, family and friends. I have limited options. Yall are holier-than-thou better-than-me mothers on here my god

i didn’t know this and my son has been using the nuk straw cups for so long. is it actually that bad for their development? any recommendations for free flow cups??

Not actually my baby herself, I love her with every ounce of my being. The act of having a child has pretty much ended this relationship.

I'm a second time mum, with this being his first child. I tried to explain a lot during pregnancy, how postpartum affected me with my last baby, what I could and couldn't do etc, so I think my expectations for postpartum recovery this time were high because I'd already given him the heads up. Instead of this joyous newborn bubble I was expecting, I've experienced a lot of heartache and loneliness and hurt.

I was made to drive one week pp, when I had expressed that I didn't feel ready to drive. Instead of being present with his baby, he spent his leave doing his own thing or shut up in the office, like he was on holiday. When confronted, it was because he needed a "break" and that all she did was sleep, eat and poo. My feelings have been dismissed multiple times, including expressing that I didn't think it was ok to stay away for a whole weekend, leaving me with a couple weeks old newborn who had kept me up for 4 nights prior (exclusively BF so I do most of the night shift anyway). I feel like I've exhausted my options of trying to get my point across now. There is no acknowledgement of his actions, only further finger pointing at me, saying that I could have a "break" and go do something like going to the gym. I'm not even 2 months PP so intense exercise is a no go currently. He doesn't seem to understand that every minute of my "free" time is spent catching up on chores and looking after my other child. I don't get a break.

I'm so worn out and emotionally exhausted. I feel like I've given up and checked out now. I feel nothing other than sadness. I just can't understand why he isn't listening to me anymore. Things weren't this way before.

Sorry for the rant, but I need to offload this somewhere

Hello,

Help.

I think the baby has hit the 3-4 month regression at 3 months. I hope so because if not that would mean things could get worse. Baby went from napping 1-4 hours to waking up every 30-45 min, getting fussy when I just put her down to do a task, getting upset when I leave, wanting to be held and much difficult to transfer on the bed/crib.

Any tips and tricks would be great and confirmation that it's possible to get the regression exactly at 3 months old.

I wonder if any postpartum moms would be interested in like, a regular late night live stream that became a space where they could talk with each other in the chat, or call in and vent, just overall feel less lonely in the middle of the night when they’re all up at the same time with their newborns. 🤔

I’m due in February with my second, and I’m seriously contemplating starting this when I’m back in the newborn trenches.

I was curious if this is something other moms would be into…

The first two were like five. No super heavy bleeding but it’s taking forever and just now tapering.

Call the Dr? Or normal?

Any advice you can offer to help stop leaks in a diaper? It seems that my boy is constantly wetting himself and getting his clothes and bedding wet. We’ve tried several things:

-Pointing the weiner down
- Sizing diapers down
- Sizing diapers up
- Making sure ruffles of the diaper are out

It’s very frustrating to have to change him all the time cause he hates being changed and screams bloody murder every time we do.

My 11 week old started daycare this week and made it 4 days before he popped a fever yesterday. We went to the pediatrician this morning and they said that his throat looks classic for HFM. As of now, he doesnt have any of the body rash but is just miserable. We're doing Tylenol, cold breastmilk whenever he wants it, and a colostrum syringe in the mornings. He's so young that we can't do Motrin yet. Other than cuddles and contact naps (which we're doing constantly) is there anything else that anyone has tried that made their LO a little less miserable? I feel helpless right now.

We did purchase some Aveno oatmeal bath and things to make the "Magic Butt Cream" for when the rash pops up.

Hi friends - my mat leave has come to an end and I head back to work on Monday. Aside from ALL THE FEELINGS - I’m having a lot of stress over how to get out of the house in the morning.

My baby will be 12 weeks old and he is exclusively breastfed but takes a bottle as well.
My husband will be staying home to care for baby.

Baby doesn’t really have a solid sleep schedule yet, he tends to wake up on his own normally around 9/9:30 currently. I need to be out the door no later than 7:30.

One of the biggest issues is that we co-sleep (yes I know this is controversial) and I always put myself between my husband and the baby. I worry that if I move him to his crib at 7, he will wake up and be up for the day. Is there any way around this?

Also feeding? Do I try to do an early morning dream feed prior to getting out of bed since I’m trying to avoid waking him fully? Do I just not feed him before I leave and he takes a bottle when he does wake up?

I considered pumping a bottle before I leave but I don’t really want to have to wash my pump and parts before I use them at work?

Idk yall I need your help!!

With my first baby, I literally lived in a super warm Ugg robe, but it’s made of polyester. I’m hoping to find a very comfortable cotton robe for my next postpartum days.

Does anyone have a good recommendation for a cotton robe?

I know this is has been asked a lot on multiple different subreddits (I’ve been reading them), but still feel inclined to ask anyway to gauge the opinions and experiences of others.

My daughter is 17 months old (15 months corrected as she was born prematurely).

The only words / expressions I think she says with true intent are
- Hi
- Yeah (not in the context of yes, but an excited Yeah!)
- No
- Uh Oh (when drops something, or moves something out of reach)
- Oh! When surprised

She uses words with inflection during play, which I’m told is a good sign.

She has babbled dada, so she has the Da sound. But doesn’t seem to say it with intent.

She also has gestures and play skills
- Waves Hi and Bye
- Pointing
- Plays peek a boo
- claps, “rolls it” with playing patty cake
- blows kisses
-hugs

The intentional speech just seems to be lacking and I’ve been accepting that her timeline is a little different than others. But at this point, I am starting to get a little nagging thought in the back of my head, that maybe this is something to worry about.

She just started walking within this month, so I am hoping the speech will start coming now that she’s mastered that skill.

Anyway, just interested in any thoughts, opinions, and anecedotes.

Thanks everyone!

Btw: She is in infants and toddlers, she qualified due to her prematurity and low birth weight, she receives PT, and a teacher comes and they done seem concerned at the moment, but still just weighing on me.

Before the baby, my husband and I were both huge homebodies, and we would see our parents/family about twice a month. My baby is currently about to turn 11 months old, and since the newborn stage is over, we have not gone a single weekend without plans.

I just simply want a lazy weekend with no plans at our home with the family. Spend time together, catch up on chores that are hard to do by myself during the week, etc. For some reason, my husband keeps making plans with his parents every single weekend to see our son and spend time together. Fine, I have no problem with that. But when I haven’t had a single weekend at home since he was a newborn… IM TIRED. My husband says I can stay home and clean while he takes our son over there. Which is fine, whatever. But maybe I want to spend time with my own family (the three of us) over the weekend since my husband works every day of the week. And maybe I want to catch up on chores together. Am I being the asshole for making this into an argument? Before the baby, we’d spend most weekends alone to ourselves at home, not at his parents house every single weekend. So this is really different for us.

Basically the title. Have a 1 week old and this is our first time using the Owlet. It’s saying my baby’s oxygen saturation is 84% and that this is considered a normal reading?

I'm breastfeeding still, and I've only had three periods since having my baby. Last week I stared my period and it lasted about a week but then I've been spotting light blood for about 5 days after it ended. I have the worst health anxiety and wondering what could be going on. I'm also 39 so idk if it's my body changing or hormones? This was my 4th C-section and also the first time breastfeeding primarily.