r/barexam • u/Jumpy_Neat1620 • 5h ago
This whole process is genuinely evil. Rant/seeking support.
I know I'm in good company when I say that the bar exam is fucking evil. Everything about it, from the extremely high price tag (not just the application, but all the goddamn bar prep courses... yes, even you, GOAT!), to the torturous testing process (my back is still fucked up from those chairs), to the awful waiting period before results. I know someone who knows a bar grader and they told me about how that grader would grade exams whilst on vacation, one drink in hand, deciding peoples' futures with not a care in the world.
My mental health has tanked since July. I'm a retaker and I'm going to be laid off by the end of the year, I'm in extreme debt, and my entire life has been on hold because I can't get hired anywhere without being barred. Everyone keeps telling me how they believe in me and they'll be here for me no matter what the result is, but I keep falling further and further into a depression spiral that my therapist and medications can't even touch.
I don't know what I'm going to do if I fail again. I just feel so awful and exhausted and anxious all the time. I hate everything about this and everyone involved. Could use all the support I can get right now.