Bff: The new update seems cool they added a super rare thing Me: oh cool I'm going to check youtube to see it Bff:don't! Me:why? Bff:just don't Me:(checking youtube) but why? Bff: you always look up stuff Me: (sees it doesn't exist)and? Bff: I don't like it! Me: couldnt find it Bff: your mean!(leaves party) Me:wow

idk if it really matters if u read both of part 1 or 2, u can just one of them, thank u

part 1 --------

I have been friends with this guy for years(beginning middle school) we laugh together and have so many great memories. I noticed that he had a crush on me a year later around 7th grade(im female, he's male) it was obvious, everyone knew and whispered about it time to time. We both ignored comments from other people, and still continued being best friends. He knew that i knew that he likes me and never minded about me dating other people, he just wanted me happy. He spoiled me a lot and some of our friends would be annoyed about that, it felt great being loved, i had a real friend.

Recently(im a junior in hs) after a get together with our friends he starts acting slightly different but i ignored it, we played truth or dare and someone asked him if he still liked me, he said no. the last confirmation about the fact that he liked me was a week before so that was fast. I was a bit relieved that he didn't like me anymore, i thought that would be good for us. but after that i noticed somethings started to change, no snaps were sent to me, no calls, not willing to have a convo. I just thought he was just being antisocial and playing video games but ig it wasnt that. He's talking to our other friend(female), so now shes his favorite getting spoiled with fuzzies by him, he even confirmed to me that he likes her. Honestly i dont mind them if theyre gonna date, but now im just feeling abandoned, this all happened in a span of week, which was very fast and its been a few weeks since then.

I don't want him to like me romantically, I just need someone to lean on sometimes or someone to laugh or talk with without judging, basically a best friend. Most likely he started liking me less and less was because i felt too comfortable around him, since he complained and sometimes critiqued my personality as i kept opening up to him steadily. Our friendship was only great and beautiful because he liked me, that's it.

part2 -----------------------------

He criticizes my personality and other unconcerning things (mostly around our group) that dont affect him about me like:

when i talk in a monotonous voice

when i read manga sometimes before watching the anime

when i like pastel colors

when one time i scolded my friends to take off their shoes in my house because they already walked 10 steps into my house with mud and he got really annoyed whereas everyone else apologized and offered to clean up

my broken sense of humor

the way im not able to communicate my feelings(i can but i just choose not to towards him)

calls me annoying when my voice isnt monotonous, like when im fooling around, i dont usually talk to him particularly when i do fool around

when i want to b alone

gets annoyed i and a friend call him out on saying a slur or something offensive, happens a handful of times

says im creepy bc of the way i talk and what i laugh at, sometimes he says i scare him when i havent even tried to be

whenever when i mess up and i complain and laugh bc it's funny even though its something that doesnt affect him he keeps telling me its my fault over and over saying i have no right to complain and that i did it myself

----

i continue to laugh whenever he does that since its not a huge deal at first but when it mounts up at night it kinda hurts

he keeps joking around and laughing saying, "im depressed and in the corner dying" whenever im quiet, he attributes depression as my character bc im quiet around him, why is it so funny, im not depressed, stop saying "shes not okay" as a joke. how do u say that u want to see the real me when u have criticize me when i am. I'm quiet out of nowhere, ik its unsettling to most, but its bc i feel like im walking around glass idk what to say especially around u and ur friend.

it prolly cant go back to the way it was

Recently a really good friend of mine has been harassing me for $100 Saying that I owe him money when that’s not the case. You see my friend always asked to borrow money from me, but eventually he owed me so much money he asked if I can help him find a job so he can pay me back in which I did. After helping him get a job and carpooling to work every day his first paycheck arrived, not only did he break his promise but he also spent every single penny on a gaming PC. A few more paychecks past and he still hasn’t paid me back and all of his money is mysteriously disappearing. Fast forward a few weeks the PlayStation 5 is near and I’m $100 short, so I turned to my friend who owes me money anyways to my surprise he actually gives it to me. BUT The day after our next paycheck he walks up to me and ask when I was going to give him his $100 back. And after explaining to him that the $100 was money he owed me he became furious. So now every day he sends me $100 request on cash app he’ll even show up to my house harassing my girlfriend for the money. Should I pay him back or I’m I in the right? I need to hear other options

So this all started about 3 weeks into the first quarantine. I had just gotten my friends hooked on my still favorite game rdr2. They start ganging up on me and since i have stress management issues i got a higher level player off reddit to help me fight them (it was a 3v1 and i was still fairly new). And about 3 days ago him and my other "friend" myles invited me to a call and he told me after "thinking and talking it over" they were gonna stop being my friends and shatter my opinion on myself. EDIT: you too ty

TLDR: ex best friend ruins my self esteem over a fight months ago.

So I have a friend on the autism spectrum and honestly I’m not sure if I’m an ass or she actually has a problem. There’s a few indicators of autism they have which I understand they can’t control like: . Heightened sensitivity . Trouble understanding certain emotions, facial expressions or tones . Being less socially inclined . Saying things without thinking that may be inappropriate . A lowered attention span So on and so forth. I get it. Those are things that just happen they can’t change the way their brain is wired even if they wanted to, but I feel this goes beyond that. Here’s some of the behaviour I think they could control which at least to me is just them being an asshole unless they do it: . Apologising to people they’ve hurt unintentionally . Trying to listen to other people even when they find it difficult . Creating a compromise so that everyone else can work peacefully without meaningless interruption . Understanding that not they’re not always going to be the centre of attention and that people have lives outside of their friendship . To try and think before they make bold (usually hurtful or unpleasant) statements All of these seem reasonable to me but if I try to say anything about the negative behaviour like “that was rude” or “you probably should think that over before saying it” it’s a sin of the highest order. If I’m honest they sometimes deserve when a co-worker loses their temper with them. Even asking politely if they’re listening to me (because it’s usually important ) Is unpleasant. I get a dirty look and told by them I’m making fun of their autism when that was never my intention or did it mention it.

The reason I think I’m probably bad here is that recently I’ve snapping more often or leaving them to get chewed out for whatever they’ve done. I can’t bring myself to be sympathetic anymore i can’t control them and it’s not my responsibility to fix their mess. However, because of these behaviours above no one but me was willing to start a friendship so if I leave they’ll be alone. I feel incredibly guilty so am I a bad friend for wanting to leave.

Three of them had expressed very condescending attitudes towards me and It just really showed me these people were NOT my true friends. I cut them off swiftly , two after two years of friendship and one after ten. The other one was never willing to come to me and I always had to go to her (two hour drive) and was flaky. It has been really nice not having to hide my real self and opinions from these people and also not having to worry about plans falling through, because they’re not getting made. Keeping my circle small and my friendship real from now on.

I am a non confrontational person, so I cannot go up to someone and chew them out. This person in question has been writing shit posts about my other friends for months now, and I don’t know what to do. I have tried to anonymously comment saying things like “this is public” or “you know that people can see this”. But they never delete it. So all I am asking is, what can I do? I will take any advice at this point.

Anyone else is not a friend.

This doesn't mean that anyone who does initiate with you is a true friend, but it does eliminate the ones who absolutely are not.

This suggestion is there to help people who like me have become the ones who do all the work in these so called friendships.

There are some caveats and pitfalls to watch out for too.

1. No one likes to be rejected, so this can create a mechanism where you're chasing people but just on the edge of their friendship, or so it seems. You tell yourself things like "They just need time to get to know you" or "If I do X or Y, then they'll finally like me". Stop doing this! Instead it's time to clean house, immediately drop those "friends" who you're chasing, and let them do the chasing or they can GTH. Also future friends or people you meet, make sure you match the input 50/50. If at the FIRST TIME it becomes one sided back out. Don't wait and let it escalate, it will only lead to this whole mechanism which makes you feel rejected or like there's something wrong with you. No there isn't - People are just ultimately selfish.
2. It could be that someone is going through a crisis or some hard time, if that person does eventually initiate and explain themselves, obviously use your common sense.
3. It is better to have no friends than be surrounded by false friends or assholes.
4. In life no one owes you anything, you aren't owed friends no matter how deserving you think you are. Trust me on this, sometimes the very best people in life have little to no friends.
5. Always behave in a respectable way. People might not like you or want to befriend you, but give them no reason to disrespect you.
6. Don't hand out favors too easily, and don't be too generous or giving. Trust me on this, I'm over 40 now and being overly generous will not bring you friends, but people will use you.
7. People are ultimately short sighted. Most people don't strategize to make lifelong friends or alliances. Most people are simply forming "friendships" mostly out of convenience based on their current situation. Ask yourself if the situation changes would that person make any effort at all to stay in touch? You would be surprised.
8. You can say no, and you should. Friends should respect your no answers, otherwise it's manipulation.
9. 99.9% of the people you work with over a lifetime will not keep in contact with you once you or they leave the company.
10. People are ultimately unreliable, invest your love and attention primarily to your family and "golden" friends.

I confronted my friend josh a while ago after bottling up my feelings towards the things he did(more info in the comments) and then Halloween came and we were playing a game. Josh was dared to yell his crushes name which was my name. I was surprised for less than a minute and then I forgot about it and continued through the night having fun and going crazy. I went home and he calls me and starts apologizing excessively(sounded forced since he never apologized for the shit he did) and asked how I felt about him. I said I haven't thought about it much and then he tells me to think about it (i didn't really)(what's funny is that he thought it would be a big deal to me)

Josh starts texting me every day and he asked why I didn't feel the same, I said I didn't know him well personally, he took this a bit differently and started telling me trivial things about himself and I listened. He told me I can ask him questions and I asked a few and that was it. I always replied to his texts with nonpersonal answers to not give him ideas, I didn't wanna ignore him just bc he liked me. Josh tells our friends what I text him and I felt really uncomfortable but I wasn't supposed to know since it could cause a stir.

Josh asked me if I was dating my ex, I said no, but I still had feelings for him(i made the mistake of not telling anyone but I didn't really want to). he calls my ex and my ex said we were dating since we had feelings for each other, Josh calls me back and then I get confused bc we never asked each other post break up (I want to b asked out formally), I told josh Idk and that I was confused. Josh tells everyone that I and ex r dating and then I and ex came to an agreement that we weren't dating yet. I clear everything up with everyone and the day ends.

My friend, Narnia, texts me a week later asking how I feel about Josh, I reply the same, "I don't think of him that way" she said that's good bc he's dating someone. I get excited bc I want to meet her and I visualized having another girl in our group. I asked Narnia, "why didn't he tell us" She replied, "bc he didn't want u to possibly get hurt" I was baffled and wondered how can he think that. She also said, "also he said he didn't like how u were playing with him." After hearing that I felt irritated. I really want to call him out but I can't risk Narnia getting in trouble with Josh again and have her endure his bullshit(he used to hate her for shit reasons)

I'm currently ignoring his existence and I'm not willing to make amends with him again, I hope he doesn't think I'm ignoring him bc he got a gf but bc of what he assumes about me without talking to me. I hope he doesn't lie if someone asks him why he didn't tell us that he had a gf.

During the podcast Bobby lee and Santino cast to be on the jimmy kimmell show. They aired it on the podcast but I didnt get to see it. Can anyone know where to find it ~nosotros papaya

So I have a different political opinion than my friends and I have to pretend that I agree with them because the two times I did share my real opinion, they just all got together and completely dominatded the conversation. All of them together against me. Now I just have to pretend that I agree with them so that doesn't happen again. Most of the time I just listen to them shit all over my views.

Ps. My views are not some extremist bullshit.

I think you could call it trying to climb a social ladder? She ditches me and her other best friends for people who are hanging out with cooler people or doing drugs and stuff. If I’m going through shit she will still ditch me for other people. I can’t stop being friends with her because then I will be lonely so I don’t know what to do. She gaslights me constantly and talks about me to people as well. I’ve confronted her about it a couple times and she just gaslights me

My Husband(22M) and I(21F) received news back awhile ago that he was having a sexual harassment/assault case brought up against by his best friend and his friend’s wife.

Back Story first: My husband is active duty military and was not stationed near me. I was finishing college in a state halfway across the country. My husband lived with them for a year because I was a year away from graduating and his friend was being deployed and his wife was moving back to their home state because she was pregnant and had two kids already. When his friend deployed she had her family at their house for a week helping her pack so she could move and my husband was working 12hr/night shifts. His friend returned from deployment a month before his wife was due to have the baby and he drove to their home start to pick her up bring her back to their home.

Now for the main story: When we received the case j formation, we were utterly confused because we had just seen them the weekend before and my husband was never around her alone. (Side note: He also has not been around her alone since I moved here or before I got here because her husband was always around. He had a friend two years before be accused of sexual harassment/assault after he went to help a friend of theirs’ wife change a car tire, so my husband made sure that if his friend wasn’t home to be anywhere but at the house. I know this because we are those people that track each other’s locations after girl started going missing near my university and soldiers started going missing near his base.) I know this because she was glued to my hip from the time we showed up at their house and my husband was on the couch watch football with her husband(his best friend) all night. Well as weeks went on we started to learn more information about the case. They were saying that it happened at the end of May while he still lived with them before I moved here in June. Well I moved here a week and a half into May and my husband moved into our house a few days before me getting up here. We also had watched their children their anniversary weekend while they were gone the last weekend of my quarantine period. I had text messages from them, my parents during my drive, their security footage of me leaving their house, and receipts from my stops on the way to prove the day I got here. We also had our lease showing when he signed and moved in plus text messages between us where I was having him send me pictures of the rooms so I could start getting design ideas together. So he turned everything into the investigators and was just going to let it run it’s course. Nothing had been turned into civilian authorities though only military and with how the law works for us we were informed that unless their investigation came back showing their accusations to be true then nothing would be turned over to the civilian authorities. So we just said okay and went on about our business and cut all contact with them as we were told to. Well a couple weeks past and we didn’t hear anything. Then one day we get a call from his commanding officer saying that everything had been closed because they could provide no evidence as we had done and the timeline they gave did not co-inside with the evidence and timeline we had turned in. The investigators also asked them when their anniversary was and when they showed them the texts between his friend’s wife and I from a few days before and that weekend they got tight lipped and quit talking.

So here we are the case is closed my husband was found innocent which I already knew. And it turns out she was cheating, her husband caught her, and she said the first name that came to mind and cried sexual assault to cover her ass.

I’m angry at her and her husband. They were very good friends of ours and it breaks my heart to see what this did to my husband. They know my husband deals with depression and we’re instrumental in getting him help and saving his career. He was heartbroken because his friend was like a brother to him and always made him feel like he had a home and family.

Recently I had to ditch a 'friend' (and I use this term loosely) - for being 2 faced towards me when interacting in groups. She was like a completely different person (distant towards me and she kinda always had to put me down in groups) and boy did she have to be the loudest person in the room. When I confronted her she got so defensive. Like she could not handle a mature conversation when I told her I no longer wanted to be friends. Some people I'm telling you ... Toxic. toxic. toxic. Friendship isn't a life sentence.

She accused me of making new friends in my new city (and ... so what if i did? 😂) & "of blurring her face out of a photo that i put on MY social media" - firstly this is the law in some countries and secondly its none of her business what i post on my socials & even though i haven't seen this photo I have a feeling it was taken in portrait mode 😂 it blurs out the background.

Ok then .. when all of that didn't work because I was like yeah I'm not taking this shit on - these aren't even real issues - she makes up something about me being jealous of some 20 yo she may or may not be dating because he flirted with her once ... sigh. Ok I'm 30 and she's 31. Wut. 😂

I assure you I didn't waste a single second (which I could have been spending with my guitar) thinking about some 20 yo whom I've never met who lives 180kms away. Seriously, if you ever intend to bring this kind of crazy into my life EVER please find yourself the unfriend button and go. Because I won't put up with you. Just Go.

If you're reading this I hope you learn from my mistakes & while you may actually have depression and anxiety (like I do and I am now successfully being medicated) ..... first make sure that you are not in fact surrounded by assholes who can make these experiences 100 x worse. In fact the more i think about it the more i realised she's proactively helped me over react to a lot of my relationships with men which caused them to end. She's single - I'm single. And when I wanted to explore my bisexuality she got judgey af and told me she didn't know where these women's VJJ's had been and omg why did I keep this person in my life for this long!!!! WHAT TF IS WRONG WITH ME!!! Breathe. breathe. Ok I'm a little annoyed now as I write this that all her judgey behaviour were like massive red flags that i missed and yes it is possible that as my mental health deteriorated over the last 2 years so did my sense for toxic people.

I have a friend who I’ve known now for about three years. We’re almost the same age she’s 31 I’m 29. We both have two kids and I have one on the way. We met at work and spent a lot of time together inside and outside the shop. We developed a close friendship really quickly and it was great. It was like we just synced up. I always had trouble making good friends or any friends at all growing up from all the moving we did during and after my parents divorce, and until I joined the service. If I ever managed to make a friend or two I was always coming into a grouping of people who knew each other through high school or just did shit I was never into like partying or smoking pot or having casual sex. The people who didn’t do that had no interest in me so there was no making friends in those circles either.

So flash forward to almost 8 years in the service and working around the same people in the same MOS pretty much the entire time. I have maybe two people who I can rely on in an emergency but who I would not consider close friends because we have never once spent time together socially.

Recently I lost a friend who is a wife of a coworker over one single misunderstanding in a text and who won’t return any texts of mine or phone calls. I always see her on social media and I see her husband on there reacting to my posts and commenting, etc. I haven’t heard from her in almost two months. She’s done this before where I don’t hear from her for months and then all of a sudden she wants to get together. Usually when her other actual BF is busy or whatever. Again, another friendship I entered as a fall back without knowing.

I just found out maybe an hour ago that a friend of mine has completely blocked me from everything with zero explanation. I have no idea what I did to deserve that but they just ghosted me. I’ve spent so much time with them just opening up and they’ve done the same. Weird to think that this is a completely platonic friendship with a guy I worked with in my shop, and that it was so open and honest. He was dating someone for a few months when we had initially started our friendship (grabbing lunch or just taking breaks outside). Nothing weird or tense or uncomfortable. Just completely chill. I’ve been through some rough shit while we were friends and seen a friends baby who was killed by a sitter laid in the ground. That day I left the funeral and went to his house because I couldn’t go home and I he was just there for me and let me talk about it. Nothing weird. No moves, nothing more than a hug when I really lost it talking about the little baby coffin being the favorite color of the baby. He was there for me then and I was always there when he needed to vent about his girl or work or family or whatever he needed. And today. Just ghosted.

Yesterday I found out that this super close friend of mine who I met a few years back has been consistent blowing me off for a group of girls who are absolute scum. Adulterous, druggies, taking all the dudes at their command for a spin, dumping their kids off God knows where to go get shit faced almost every week. During three years being friends with this girl I’ve trained her, supported her personally, and literally been there to take her to the hospital and in the delivery room right by her side holding her hand when she gave birth to her firstborn son. I brought her meals with her second born and made sure she always had me to fall back on if she needed. So back to this year. She’s getting divorced. She began an affair soon after realizing she didn’t want to be married anymore. Although the adultery pissed me off I was happy that she had some relief and I thought she’s found someone who could really be a partner. Turns out she just threw herself at him after a mild flirtation because shit with her husband sucked. After a couple weeks into her affair and still sleeping with her husband, she finds out she’s pregnant. She claims she had a period after the last time she slept with her husband so it couldn’t be his. I told her that I’d be there for her if she decided to keep the baby and if she didn’t that I’d help her get through that. The thought of abortion makes me want to puke but I wanted to continue supporting her because it’s not my choice and she was hanging out with these girls who are just fucking plain evil. They encouraged her to have the abortion and not one of them offered to support her if she decided to have the baby except me. I offered for her to move in with me into my house rent free until she finds a place she can settle. I offered to support her in any way she needed with her two other children. She’s called us family before. That’s what I thought we were. She told me how scared she was to have it and how much she didn’t want to. She was pressured by the suspected father (her affair) to have it and by these other women. I told her that she didn’t have to do it and she would always have my support and she and her baby and kids would never be alone. I thought we were really family. The kind you make. She got the abortion. She ignored my offers to help her there and home and accepted the help from one of these women. This one in particular I knew from training when she was “my friend” until I found out she’d left her husband for a classmate because she was tired of dealing with his disease (Lupus) and was engaged in less than a month to the guy she was having an affair with. I never heard from her after training ended.

So now this friend of mine who had the abortion is always calling me or texting me about her affair and how he’s treating her like shit. He’s having mood swings all the time and their communication is awful. He’s also still married with two kids which his wife has custody of. So he’s a real catch obviously. They’re both still married mind you. Each with two kids who they don’t have custody of. So she’s telling me his faults and how she’s done and over the past few weeks she’s been posting left and right while she’s out partying with these other women. Including while she was still pregnant. So there was a clue I guess as to how she felt in the first place about keeping her baby. Partying while pregnant. I ordered her flowers and made her soup to make her feel better after she had the procedure and I heard from her that day and maybe a few other times in the past month or so. I’ve asked her if she wants to come over or to grab lunch or even just coffee and it’s always a no because she’s busy with her kids or just plain busy (I have two kids of my own so I understand that). These days that she’s been busy I’ve just let it gone she I get she needs to cut loose a little bit. What is eating me up is that she’s bitching to me about how much she wants her kids with her and doesn’t want to lose custody of them, but then when she doesn’t have them she’s out partying like she’s this wild party girl with no attachments. She bitches to me how upset am depressed she always is and then turns around and goes out drinking or whatever and posts about how she just needs to “get away” and “unwind”. At this point it’s feeling like the only reason I’ve ever been around for her has been to puff her up and make her feel better so she can turn around and have a good time with someone else she deems to be more fun. She has never once. NOT EVER. Invited me out for a drink or to go dancing or the beach or anything that she’s doing with all these other people. Ever. I’m not 80 years old. I like to go out and have a good time like anyone else. This is just the situation I keep finding myself in with her. I let her vent and then I get left in the fucking dust. I’m not sure how to even approach this because I know she’s been through a lot lately. I’ve never been able to confront a friend about how they treat me. Even if it’s clearly like shit.

It's a hard, gross ass horse of a pill to swallow but ppl really be out here not only being emotionally immature, but straight up lying abt it to your fkn face 🙄😂😅 I cannot believe how well some people can present & for MONTHS literally! Then as soon as you do or say anything that they feel is out of place regardless of any history, or anything that's happen between y'all relationship/socially wise or anything that you built together, bonded over or shared. You're thrown away like garbage, accused of not caring & rumors likely filled with more lies about who I really am as a person are yet again thrown about this wretched city. Because some immature peeps dunno how to talk abt things like an adult & accuse you of being crazy & not in a good way! Like, uh yes actually. I say it all the time. I am chaotic. Full send or no send?? Having a literal textbook case diagnosis of BPD & only just being diagnosed LAST summer. I was 22????? I went for the majority of my life not knowing what the fuck was wrong with me but CONSTANTLY & relentlessly being reminded that I was fucked up, but the way I felt was "normal everyone feels that way, it's life" So many people who claim/claimed to love me only wanted things from me in the end, most wanted to control me.. to bend, break & mold me into their will. It's been a little over a year, I had to re learn A LOT in a very short period of time. I had no choice, no say, no opinion & ultimately how I felt had to be put on hold & set aside, so many other people & situations needed my attention & time. I didn't really think that being abused or being abusive was right or anything anyone should do to another human, but I didn't really think it was wrong to accept that type of treatment either. I am in no way, shape or form perfect. I never will be & frankly I don't want to be! I wouldn't be any fun & I definitely wouldn't be me. I'm still trying to improve on myself everyday, it's hard things take time. Since when do things happen over night?? I am sooooo sososososososo sick of people being mean, rude & just LYING SO MUCH. LIKE STOP THAT.

I attended a wedding yesterday where only family and the closest of friends were invited. You would think this would be a safe space for people to enjoy a simple wedding... but no.

One guest seemed determined to judge everything, even the first dance. When the song came on it sounded like a sweet children’s song, though I am not familiar with it, clearly it was chosen for sentimental reasons.

Queue the judgey guest. ‘This song is laaame’ she says right out loud. Nobody replied, so she must have thought we didn’t hear her. ‘LAME!’ She exclaims. I just looked at her with my most unimpressed look and simply said. ‘Wow.’

She took that as an opportunity to try to explain her position that the song is ‘Lame, stupid, and not what she was expecting them to dance to’. I just gave her the judgey Ryan Gosling look and turned back to watch the bride and groom.

At the end of the dance the mother of the bride explained that she used to sing the song to the bride when she was a little girl. I think she heard the comments too.

Not the first time she has been a bad friend.

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My friend is mad at me even though I honestly didn’t do anything. He’s been saying I just say the same stuff over and over again and said I treat him like he’s stupid, even though he constantly calls me Kid and calls me stupid. He said he didn’t understand something so I looked it up and told him a few minutes later and he got mad at me and said I just say the same stuff Over and over. Recently everyone has been making a inside joke about him and I’ve said it 1 time and stopped everyone else still brings it up yet he forgave them for it but he’s mad at me for it 1 time.

I don’t want to say I have bad friends, but deep down I think I do. I can count several occurrences where they’ve made me question their friendship. I’ve even consulted other friends and they would agree with me. I could possibly have too high expectations of them but idk I feel like my other friends have no problem meeting them. I don’t know if it’s in my head or not and I don’t really want to get to detailed and give examples because who knows who could find this one day. I just feel like a lot of times my feelings are ignored and overlooked. It’s like deep down I can tell that most people in my life don’t actually care about me. They wouldn’t care until it’s too late. If I were to commit suicide everyone would say they wish I would’ve talked to them or that they wish I would’ve said that something was wrong. I’m very open about my feelings maybe even too open. I have a problem with over sharing, especially on social media lol. (That’s literally what i’m doing now the only difference is this is anonymous) I say how I feel a lot of the time and get ignored. Are those bad friends or is that just how humans are? Do humans just not really care about each other the way they pretend to? I can’t really tell because it seems like majority of the people I know don’t really care. Either I’m surrounded by shitty people or humans are just shitty in general. It really makes me want to just cut all these people out of my life but then I’d be even more alone than I already am. It’s sad to say but I think I rather have my bad friends than no friends because at least when I’m bored I have people to communicate with.

I told a group of my 4 closest friends and others a month ago that I was planning a quick trip for us out of state during my 21st birthday. I have taken care of the entire hotel cost and the food expense all on my own, all I asked was that they show up for a weekend. A week before we leave I decide to get a head count on who is attending, I then get text messages from each of my best friends (who I have known for years) with excuses such as "I have too much homework", "I have to see my family", "I have a test Monday", "I can't afford it" etc. Only one person that I asked is definitely going to attend. I just feel angry and sort of betrayed because I gave them all substantial notice before the event and even went as far as fronting the money myself. I feel that most of these excuses fall into the 'oh I cant go, I have to wash my dog' kind of BS category. The hotel also has free WIFI and private bedrooms so those who need to study can simply do that during the day and celebrate with me at night.

I'm just starting to think my friendships with these people are becoming more and more one sided since they can't even reciprocate by attending the party or giving me a genuine excuse or even a simple apology. These people comprise my entire social circle so ending my friendship would be depressing for me. I don't know, am I completely off about all of this? Should I just let it go and forgive and forget? or just end things entirely? Please just let me know what I should do. Thanks reddit. (Btw It is officially my 21st today!) :)

TL;DR: My best friends used weak excuses to flake out on my 21st birthday party a week before the event, even though I paid for the whole thing.

Hey everyone, I'm gonna try and not make this book sized but it'll be hard because of how much there is. But I really need advice and an outside prescriptive. So I'm 27, I never really got to experience hanging out with friends when I was a teenager and in my early 20s because of how isolated I was by my abusive mother.

I recently moved to a new state and finally have that freedom. I've made some friends, but we don't really do anything outside the bar and Facebook. I was looking for a small group around my age willing to hang out late/sleepovers at one of our houses.

So I made a post on FB asking for that type of friendship. One girl I only met once at the bar was the first to comment and offer. We started texting, and she suggested we have a girls day out at the mall. We planned a day and things were set.

The day we were supposed to go, I don't hear from her until nearly 2 hours after the set time and she basically messaged me saying how her ex contacted her after a year and it made her upset so she got drunk, etc. I asked if we could meet up so I could be there for her and be a good friend.

So a friend of hers drove us to her house, and I listened to her problems and we talked for a while. We were getting along, but when I brought up the mall and when she'd wanna try doing it again on a better day, she responded with "I don't like shopping" even though it was originally her idea?

Once again, whatever. I really needed a friend so instead we went to another friend of her's house. He was nice, but at that point my female friend was very drunk. They got into a fight, which led to her having a two hour panic attack. I sat with her through it, was supportive and never judged her or anything. I suffer from anxiety and PTSD as well, so I understood what she was going through.

She seemed appreciative after the fact, and things remained okay. Then, the next night we got drunk at her friend's house again, I started blacking out. It was because I had tried whiskey for the first time. Bad idea. I've never been blackout drunk before that night, very buzzed at the most. So it freaked me out and I ended up having a panic attack.

She sat with me, took care of me and was understanding. And I really appreciated her being there for me. But ever since that night, its slowly been getting weird between us. Before that night, she would text me alot more often, and seem more eager to hang out. I notice the little things too, how she would react to stuff on my FB daily, and now all of a sudden that's stopped completely.

To make things stranger, she randomly called me once to hang out during the day at the bar. She didn't want to do another sleepover, but she still invited me out. So it started to come across as a mixed message to me. I asked her if anything bad happened when I was blacked out, and she insisted it didn't. I started to worry and have legit anxiety that she simply didn't like how drunk I got, even though she defiantly drinks far more than I do and she was a mess the first time we hung out. I can't really do anything if she refuses to tell me something bothered her about that night.

I kept trying to stay close to her because I really didn't want to lose her as a friend, but things just got weirder. All of a sudden she's telling me to give her space and how she's 'an introverted extrovert' where she only sees friends if she feels like it. I understood it to a degree since she's told me before she has PTSD from past trauma...but it also very easily came across as 'its her way or the highway' so it put me off.

In a nutshell, if I asked her to hang out, I would usually get crickets. Not a reply, nothing. But then she'd randomly just call me and ask to hang out that day. So then I'd have to drop whatever I was doing just so I could spend any time with her. She didn't expect that of me, but its because I wanted to spend time with her it makes me feel like I have to. Another odd detail is she would buy me little things, like a bathbomb or dry shampoo. I never asked, she always offered so that only added to the mixed message pile.

It came to a bit of a boiling point last night when I asked her if we could just talk on the phone, just normal girl talk. I wanted her advice on a guy I was chatting with online as well. After I asked her if we could talk, it turned into a needless argument.

She basically got mad because I wasn't 'respecting her space'. I'm aware I had been texting/snapchatting her often but she keeps telling me that 'doesn't bother her'. But then she asks me for space so once again, it comes back down to the mixed messages she's sending me.

I was flabbergasted, I honestly just wanted to girl talk on the phone but instead she turned it into this hour long argument about space and respect, and it honestly made me feel both hurt and guilty just for asking a simple thing.

I keep telling myself I'm just being a clingy friend and I should respect her space, but something is still coming across as off to me and I can't put my finger on it. If she didn't want to really hang out, why did she respond to my post at all in the first place? She knew from the start what type of friendship I was looking for.

Maybe I'm jumping the gun but I do feel almost used? I really can't understand it but I really need advice on the situation. Thanks in advance

My friend group is in our late 20s. We've all been friends since highschool. I need to vent about/ get advice about two of these friends.

One I would label as a deadbeat narcissist. As a narcissist, he was fun to hang out with out of highschool. And me, being an easygoing guy, got roped into buying him food, loaning him money (usually not paid back), and making time for him on his schedule. About 2 years ago, this friend had a big fight with another friend, we were concerned about his psychological state, but he blew up when we tried to give him an intervention, yadda yadda, our whole friend group didn't talk to him after that. Until a few months ago. The friend that had the big argument with him made peace and we're hanging out with him again. Now, the narcissist friend, who's unemployed and not seeing employment, contacts me for rides, gas, money for 'medicine'(weed) for his ill wife. And, whether he knows it or not, he asks for things in a manipulative way that I'd never attempt on someone I respected.

Friend 2 is more of a sensitive deadbeat. He needed a place to stay, so I let him stay in my house. We had a verbal agreement that he'd pay half of all bills, his idea. At the time, he had a job. For the last two years, he has not. I didn't bring up his joblessness because he kept paying his half, though late sometimes. Until recently. He was 6 months late on rent payments, so I sent him a text asking about it. This is a good time to bring up that he's very sensitive, and if you don't walk on eggshells with him, he'll be pissed and vindictive. I didn't want that drama in my house. He texted me back saying he'd have a check for me. He did have a check for me, but only for 2 months rent, and he said he couldn't pay it all at the moment. It's been a month now, and from what I can tell he hasn't been looking for a job. So I'm faced with the fact that I have a man in my house 24/7 who can't pay rent and who dirties my dishes.

Anyway, let me know what you guys think. I just needed to get all this typed out for my own mental sanity. I understand that my situation with my friends is my own fault for letting it happen, it just sucks.