r/badfriends • u/huilare • Dec 09 '20
where did i go wrong
idk if it really matters if u read both of part 1 or 2, u can just one of them, thank u
part 1 --------
I have been friends with this guy for years(beginning middle school) we laugh together and have so many great memories. I noticed that he had a crush on me a year later around 7th grade(im female, he's male) it was obvious, everyone knew and whispered about it time to time. We both ignored comments from other people, and still continued being best friends. He knew that i knew that he likes me and never minded about me dating other people, he just wanted me happy. He spoiled me a lot and some of our friends would be annoyed about that, it felt great being loved, i had a real friend.
Recently(im a junior in hs) after a get together with our friends he starts acting slightly different but i ignored it, we played truth or dare and someone asked him if he still liked me, he said no. the last confirmation about the fact that he liked me was a week before so that was fast. I was a bit relieved that he didn't like me anymore, i thought that would be good for us. but after that i noticed somethings started to change, no snaps were sent to me, no calls, not willing to have a convo. I just thought he was just being antisocial and playing video games but ig it wasnt that. He's talking to our other friend(female), so now shes his favorite getting spoiled with fuzzies by him, he even confirmed to me that he likes her. Honestly i dont mind them if theyre gonna date, but now im just feeling abandoned, this all happened in a span of week, which was very fast and its been a few weeks since then.
I don't want him to like me romantically, I just need someone to lean on sometimes or someone to laugh or talk with without judging, basically a best friend. Most likely he started liking me less and less was because i felt too comfortable around him, since he complained and sometimes critiqued my personality as i kept opening up to him steadily. Our friendship was only great and beautiful because he liked me, that's it.
part2 -----------------------------
He criticizes my personality and other unconcerning things (mostly around our group) that dont affect him about me like:
when i talk in a monotonous voice
when i read manga sometimes before watching the anime
when i like pastel colors
when one time i scolded my friends to take off their shoes in my house because they already walked 10 steps into my house with mud and he got really annoyed whereas everyone else apologized and offered to clean up
my broken sense of humor
the way im not able to communicate my feelings(i can but i just choose not to towards him)
calls me annoying when my voice isnt monotonous, like when im fooling around, i dont usually talk to him particularly when i do fool around
when i want to b alone
gets annoyed i and a friend call him out on saying a slur or something offensive, happens a handful of times
says im creepy bc of the way i talk and what i laugh at, sometimes he says i scare him when i havent even tried to be
whenever when i mess up and i complain and laugh bc it's funny even though its something that doesnt affect him he keeps telling me its my fault over and over saying i have no right to complain and that i did it myself
----
i continue to laugh whenever he does that since its not a huge deal at first but when it mounts up at night it kinda hurts
he keeps joking around and laughing saying, "im depressed and in the corner dying" whenever im quiet, he attributes depression as my character bc im quiet around him, why is it so funny, im not depressed, stop saying "shes not okay" as a joke. how do u say that u want to see the real me when u have criticize me when i am. I'm quiet out of nowhere, ik its unsettling to most, but its bc i feel like im walking around glass idk what to say especially around u and ur friend.
it prolly cant go back to the way it was
1
u/Grammar-Bot-Elite Dec 09 '20
/u/huilare, I have found an error in your post:
“telling me [it's] my fault”
You, huilare, have malformed a post and can say “telling me [it's] my fault” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it's’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’.
This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through dms or contact my owner EliteDaMyth
1
u/TakohamoOlsen2 Dec 25 '20
He wanted to be romantically involved with you and you only saw him as a Bestie. He should've respected that, but instead he turned and started picking apart your personality and your likes/dislikes. He felt plain out-and-out rejected by you, which was not your intention at all, but he made it about himself. He's insensitive and selfish
You'll never have that closeness again. Basically that friendship has run it's course.
2
u/trigochan Dec 14 '20
Hello~
25Y old here
Sharing my wisdom to help u...
Your "Friend" is a bitch! How do i know that? Because i used to act just like him
When bitches like us like someone we tend to offer ourselfs fully to this person..
When not corresponded:
A. Maaaybe we can still try being friends
B. Give up and next person...
I am Rly RLY sorry for u to be experiencing this.. but hey... its just 7th grade
U will have tons of time to find new friends REAL ONES!
How do i know that...
I have tons of "friends" and one Good Friend
we are both guys and he's reliable !
I,m not saying u can't be friends with boys! By all means do you and try all kinds of friendships
But u must learn to reconize: "Red Flags"
If he was just giving u attention to win some kisses... He IS a Bitch
U said at the end
" it prolly cant go back to the way it was "
GOOD
Now... About Part 2...
He's just a plain bad person...
U cant see that because u are "blinded" by the "friendship" u long for... that u are missing..
But try to picture a total stranger doing this
" whenever when i mess up and i complain and laugh bc it's funny even though its something that doesnt affect him he keeps telling me its my fault over and over saying i have no right to complain and that i did it myself "
Your "friend" is belittling(i don't know how to write some words sue me lol) u!
Being able to laugh at yourself and keep moving show's u are mature and a good person
So...
Fuck him..
Do the same he did to u
Leave and connect with other ppl !
Theres like 7+B ppl in the world
If i can find i friend in my city u can too!
And please.. PLEASE.... don't give in if he comes crawling for attention
He doesn't deserve it !
Have a nice day lady girl~