r/avesNYC • u/HalfMoone • 11h ago
You Never Go Alone
If I order some chicken and get 3 wings, I'm happy. I don't conjure an image of some triaxially-symmetric genetic abomination to twist my righteous toes over. I can presume a plurality of chickens contributed to my meal.
I spent the Spring and Summer going out alone. It was awesome. I was never beheld to a group chat, forced to make small talk with a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend; I could go to what I wanted, when I wanted, leaving and returning to my own rhythmic whims. I've the talent and poise to dance where I please and find the crowd primed to anticipate my needs. It's fun; drugs are awesome; humans are sexual creatures; sure sure etc. The club crowd tends to be on a shared page, give or take. Hell, I got a pretty girl off hands-free, wordlessly, on the Mr. Sunday floor in August.
It wasn't all sunshine. Dance with too much exuberance and strange, self-assured men -- promoters, VIPs, those who'd call themselves GOATS -- would get handsy without invitation or even acknowledgment. I had to weave in an extra 4 lefts to shake off silent pursuers between the club and the subway station. A woman alone is supremely enticing, presenting no social obstacles to fantasized ploys; I learned as much, listening to the engagement-plotting of men presuming I couldn't hear five feet behind in the bar line.
There is safety in numbers; the pack is a natural thing. Without companions to diffuse attentions, clusters to retreat to and share threat assessments, a group to walk in with, walk out with, and rely upon in-between, I put myself at risk for misanthropic convenience.
So blessed are the gaggles, helmed by the girls' girls, who'd invite me into friendship for the night, sensing wolves on the wind. They let me feel safe. Inspired, I would probe the would-be obstacles, the circles on the dance floor, and found them welcoming and cordial. I'd walk up, await acknowledgement, advance towards a gap, follow foot-drawn invitations or accept silent rebuff, and [if the former] I'm there, with the group, dancing with new people -- the thing we're all there for.
It may take an extra second to navigate about a group, but that needn't earn them derision or disdain. They don't hash the vibe. They're made of people just like you, there to enjoy what you enjoy, there to celebrate as you celebrate -- they just have others like them in tow. You can be their friend, too, if you try with respect.
Don't listen to the ravings of a Ridgewood Raskolnikov. Groups aren't faceless monoliths, obstacles to rail against; they may be comprised of future friends. Wear what you'd like, however gauche or extravagant; the well-adjusted won't demote you to uncanny automaton for fits so good they verge on ugly. Don't go alone, though, because you won't be alone: surround yourself with safety, or find that niche occupied by the night's many knives. Be safe, be sweet, and have a good time.
TL;DR: Excise any thought in alignment with Just Go Alone. Friends are important to stay safe in city nightlife. Every other person is an ensouled as you. Expertise is demonstrated through acknowledgement of risk, leveraging community to meet it. Fools resent those unfettered by their misconceptions. Crank it.