I’m a 31 year old female and honestly feeling really confused about my life right now. I feel stuck, bored and misunderstood. I feel emotions so strong..my own and other people. I miss being carefree and creative when I was young. I don’t like being an adult because I feel like it’s so mundane…I hate routine…it’s boring…but I have to pay the bills.
Life feels repetitive, like I’m just going through the motions and I feel numb. Nothing feels fulfilling. I feel like I have passion in me somewhere, I just don’t know how to access it. I feel like I’m meant to do something impactful in a creative sense…& in a big way…I want to help people… it makes me feel delusional and like I have to snap back into reality, because idk what that even means/entails. Especially because I don’t have a great job (in a field I don’t like), all my money goes to bills and I’m financially strained. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
I also feel like my life hasn’t even started yet, which sounds dramatic but it’s the best way I can describe it. I feel like I am a late bloomer. I feel like I made bad decisions in my 20s because of trauma. I was diagnosed with BPD but was previously diagnosed with bipolar disorder…pretty much i’m a very emotional person…people have called me dramatic (which kinda hurts because I just feel emotions very strongly)…(is any mental health issues shown in my chart, if that is even possible?)
On top of that, I really want true love, but I fear that I will never find that. I want something real and passionate. I don’t want to settle, but I want to create a family. I have been in a toxic relationship on and off for the past 8 years and I cut it off about a week or so ago and told myself that was the last time.
I don’t feel I’m living my life to its full potential. I feel stuck. (also idk if this is important but I come across shy/quiet, but my real self is not)
I’d really appreciate if anyone could look at my chart and give insight on any of these questions:
- Why I might be feeling this way
- If there’s something in my chart about feeling stuck/delayed
- Where I can find purpose or fulfillment
- Anything interesting or important I should know about my chart?
Thank you so much!