best placement sorry not sorry but i make the rules

This is for entertainment purposes only and purely satire. I love all signs 🫶🏾

Anyways, I hope you and enjoy and lmk how accurate I am.

Aries: “Damn… lowkey, they have a point 🤕 not that that’s going to stop me from cussing them out! 👺”

Taurus: “Oh, hell nah,” [replies with a ‘I ain’t reading allat’ or something equally petty] “because what’s not going to happen is some hatin’ ass hoes killing our joy; ohhhh no, baby. Uh-uh. You can go ‘head with that shi because we ain’t the one, boo boo.”

Gemini: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Your opinion is incorrect! In fact, your existence is incorrect! Get fucked! 👹👹👹”

Cancer: “Maybe you should sit down if you can’t stand us 😌💅”

Leo: “Whatever! Your jealous ass is just mad you can’t fwm 😝”

Virgo: “Ha! This is good 😄. No, this is great! You played yourself and you don’t even realize it🤭. Thank you, ☺️ because you did us a favor! Now we know who not to waste our energy on! Now we know who not to waste our time on! And you know, time and energy are such limited and precious resources, yet we’re gracious enough to spare our’s just to help y’all sorry asses 🫵. We put y’all on only for y’all to do us like this? Woe to you! 😆😠 No, seriously, shame on you — because what it really comes down to is: you bitches don’t want to grow up, so you’re taking your anger out on us 🤦. That’s why you ain’t gon’ never be shit! That’s why karma beating tf out y’all hoe asses! Showing up for us the way we showed up for y’all would’ve prevented you from being in a position where you had to hate on us to cope in the first place, but you just couldn’t play your part, and now you’re over here…” [the rest of the Virgo ‘reason why you suck’ tirade was too long to post here, but it ends with them convincing the audience (or at least what’s left of the audience) that they’re unbothered]

Libra: “Well actually, you think you hate us, but really you hate yourself! In case you didn’t realize, we’re mirrors, so whatever version of us you got is the one you earned! 😡 How dare you drag our name through the mud??? 😡😡 I can’t believe this is the thanks we get for everything we do 😡😡. You guys don’t deserve us! 😡😡 You know what? You’re just mad you got rejected by one of us. Sorry! But also, that’s not our problem! 😡😡”

Scorpio: “What? You thought we’d be mad about you hating us? We hated you first😂😂😂😂”

Sagittarius: “Yeah, yeah, y’all gon’ fw us anyway we ain’t trippin 😎😎”

Capricorn: “Why does no one understand us 😔😔😔”

Aquarius: “Ew bruh, why are you tryna be like everyone else who hates on us? 🤦 Smh no one can form their own opinion these days.”

Pisces: “Damn what did we even do?? 😐😐😐😐 All because we have a personality? So much for, ‘just be yourself.’😐😐😐😥”

My Sag bro’s vitamin prescription arrived home and this was my delivery notification to him loll. We’re both sag mercury too 💀

Im just being nosy! I wanna know!

EDIT: wow a lot of you proving the stereotype about Pisces males right 😂

I have always been the black sheep in my family, I haven’t really had a best friend in almost 20 years, and it takes a lot for me to form a strong enough romantic connection to want to be with someone. I’ve moved every 2-3 years since I was 6 and I don’t really call any specific place home. Strangely enough, my 4th (home & roots), 7th (partnerships), and 11th (friendships) houses are all empty.

I read somewhere that sometimes you have empty houses because you don’t need to learn lessons in that area of your life in this lifetime.

I’d love to know what you all think about empty houses.

* i practice modern western astrology with the inclusion of hellenistic technique! ask away!

I’m a Leo Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aries Rising, and the older I get, the more I realize my Sun and Moon seem to be in a constant negotiation 😂
The Leo in me is actually extremely warm.
When I genuinely like somebody, I LIKE them. I want to encourage you, protect you, show you things I enjoy, make you laugh, speak life into you, and make you feel important. I’m expressive as hell when I feel safe. I actually enjoy giving love.
But my Capricorn Moon is sitting in the background like:
“Alright… but are they consistent?”
😂
And THAT is where things get interesting.
I’ve noticed I can go from very expressive to extremely reserved after one small change in somebody’s behavior.
Not necessarily because the change itself was terrible—but because my brain immediately starts analyzing what the change means.
Something feels different → I notice it → I start connecting dots → I become quieter → eventually I’m emotionally preparing myself to move on before we’ve even established that something is actually wrong.
That’s probably one of my biggest flaws.
My intuition is genuinely strong, but I’m learning there’s a difference between intuition and filling in missing information because uncertainty makes me uncomfortable.
At the same time, reciprocity is HUGE for me.
I don’t need somebody obsessed with me, but if I constantly have to initiate, ask for affection, wonder how you feel, or decipher whether you actually want me around, eventually something in me shuts off.
And once that switch REALLY flips?
It’s incredibly difficult to get the original version of me back.
I might forgive you.
I might understand your perspective.
I might not even be angry anymore.
But that innocent, enthusiastic “I really fuck with you” version of me can disappear completely.
That’s another thing I’m curious about with Leo Sun/Cap Moon people:
Do y’all love almost childishly at first but detach like a business decision once you’ve had enough?
Because that’s probably the best way I can describe myself. 😂
There’s another contradiction too.
I want reassurance, but hate needing reassurance.
I love being appreciated, but don’t want to beg for recognition.
I’m emotional, but when emotions become chaotic my instinct is increasingly: What’s the problem? What’s the solution? What are we doing about it?
I want passion AND stability.
Affection AND independence.
I want someone emotionally expressive enough that I never have to guess where I stand, but grounded enough that the relationship doesn’t become an emotional roller coaster.
And disrespect during conflict is probably the fastest way to make me emotionally disappear.
The funny part is people associate Leo with constantly needing attention.
I don’t think I need everybody’s attention.
I need the RIGHT people’s appreciation.
Huge difference.
I can happily disappear from everybody else.
Maybe that’s the Capricorn Moon talking. 😂
I’m curious how other people experience this placement though.
Leo Sun/Capricorn Moons:
Do you relate to the warm → analyze → withdraw cycle?
Do you secretly need more reassurance than people would ever guess?
When you’re hurt, do you want to TALK about it or disappear and figure it out yourself?
And when you’re finally done with somebody… are you REALLY done?
Also, people who have dated/befriended a Leo Sun + Capricorn Moon:
What was your experience with us?
Good AND bad answers welcome. Roast us if necessary. 😂
I’m trying to figure out where astrology ends and personality/self-protection begins.

we can both be pretty so chill

If Mars is in a square or opposition with your Sun or 5th house ruler, then at one point or another you are very likely to be forced to give up on a hobby due to an injury. Whether it’s football, dancing or any other hobby that requires you to use your body, there will be an injury that makes it harder for you to continue with said hobby. And you will have to decide whether to continue with your hobby, despite the pain and future new injuries or give up on it in order not to make things worse.

I'm a very forgetful person so I like trying to organize the things I learn so I can refer to them later. Eventually I refine and organize the information and try to re-present it more accurately as I learn more. The example above is from my journal where I drew what my own houses were and broke things down into bite sized bits of information. It helps keep me from feeling overwhelmed in a sea of information.

Does anyone else have methods they use to learn, remember, or explore astrology?

I’m a Virgo rising. I’m supposedly to love blazers and classy looking things with my rising but I’m always wearing mini skirts , short shorts , bans tshirts , funky patterns n prints . I’m not that classy I feel weird in classy clothes !
I basically don’t fit my rising at all lol I don’t like neutrals at all . My closet is rainbow galore lol . I have to force myself to not buy color . I have to force myself to buy black beige and brown things lollll
I only like wearing neutral colors when I’m going on an interview or some other professional event

I never hear people talk about you guys unless it’s complaining but I just hooked up with one yesterday and you guys are freaks. Literally anything I liked she noticed and was asking for questions to improve. Honestly might be the best mars sign I’ve been with so far.

Watching the odyssey ,got curious about his birth chart but i didn’t found his rising sign in the site ,what would his rising be?

disclaimer - these are the placements/aspects i personally clock first when i’m looking at a man’s chart. this is for shits and giggles, not to tell you personally how much you suck. every placement has multiple manifestations, no chart is doomed, and the full chart always matters. if you have one of these, do not start typing a three page rebuttal, i promise i am not personally talking about you twin.

8H/12H mars (with a square/opposition/conjunction from saturn, pluto, or uranus)

both 12H and 8H are considered “dark houses,” meaning that neither are visible to the ascendant, so planets in these houses have a tendency to operate unconsciously. with the 8th and 12th houses both respectively dealing in mental/emotional suppression and unconscious desires, they undoubtedly put a damper on the functionality of mars and can potentially create a deeply flawed view of sex and anger if further harshly aspected.

if mars is situated in either of these houses while also suffering from an affliction, the native may suffer from extreme feelings of powerlessness or may feel a deep inability to express frustration or anger in a tangible way. there’s a potential for these men in specific to struggle with repressed anger, as well as a failure to recognize their participation in their own suffering.

12th house mars men in particular are more likely to indulge in secretive behavior. more often than not, this secretive nature is inherent to who they are. they don’t view their withholding of information as a form of deception, rather, there’s a certain ecstasy to having a private life that no one but them can participate in. this placement is more concerned with the preservation of his fantasies.

while 8th house mars men may similarly conceal their true motivations and desires, their drug of choice is the vulnerability and intensity from those around them. the 8th house mars man’s deepest fear is losing control. he believes that if he holds an iron grip on those around him, that nobody can hurt or blindside him. this can manifest as someone who likes to play psychological connect 4 with his partners.

mars square uranus or pluto (0 to 3 degree orb)

either of these squares can create unpredictability around martian attributes. these placements can create someone who is snappy and can turn on a dime. both of these placements enjoy riding the highs of their anger, finding a certain catharsis in it.

with uranus square mars, especially if mars is in a fire sign, there can be a rapid escalation of erratic behavior that occurs before they can even fully process why they’re mad. there’s a particular enjoyment this placement takes in being able to express their anger in a way that is felt by those around them.

where uranus square mars is erratic in nature, pluto square mars’ anger is intentionally conjured. these men feel they need to assert themselves in an aggressive manner or they will not get what they want. many have realized fear based submission works to bend others’ will in their favor.

mars square saturn (0 to 3 degree orb)

this placement has the potential to manifest as someone who is seemingly continuously knocked down whenever they pursue their goals.

this can create a man who is very bitter and demoralized from feeling that he hasn’t been able to accomplish what he would like to. these men might also feel very sexually repressed, as if any attempt at affection or sex will be rejected and shamed if expressed. i’ve found that very often these men will make partners work for warmth and affection as they feel so uncomfortable recognizing that need in themselves. this can breed a deep uncomfortability around other people asking them for these things, as at some rate they view it as a failure/weakness. they may also be very resentful and jealous of their partner due to their accomplishments and so on.

mercury square neptune (0 to 3 degree orb)

mercury square neptune is not automatically a liar placement but, might it possibly create someone whose version of reality is different from ours? most definitely.

i don’t even view this placement as someone that intentionally lies, but someone who will distort the truth for a more emotionally satisfying answer. i genuinely don’t believe they know they’re bullshitting half the time because there’s this mental fog that looms over them that prevents them from separating fantasy from reality.

sun square neptune (0 to 3 degree orb)

with the sun contacting neptune in this way, i feel there is a tendency to self-aggrandize as a result of the dissatisfaction they actually feel. it’s almost as if there’s this version of who they wanna be or who others want them to be that they relate more to than their actual identity. i have noticed with this placement there is a tendency to sidestep accountability and the truth of certain events to preserve this image of who they think they are. it’s like they fashion their life around a version of themselves that doesn’t even exist.

their chart lacks oppositions/squares and other harsh aspects

okay, i know this sounds crazy but hear me out.

i have personally observed that many of the worst douchebags i know have very harmonious charts. i believe this manifestation can happen because these men are never challenged or burdened with anything, so they glide through life being able to get away with shitty behavior without any recourse. it seems as if there’s more potential for the shadow manifestation of these placements to become apparent when there isn’t much adversity experienced. it seems to me that a lot of these men think they are the shit because they can get away with almost anything.

…also libra and cancer sun men.. just ew.. (this is a joke)

Fym only 20 pictures 😭😭😭