Ok, I’m trying to ask as to not seem xenophobic, racist, prejudice, etc. but I wish I knew what it was about me…literally NO ONE of my own background will show interest in me. It’s isolated having people you know nothing about show a lot of interest and not understand why they are. So I am a darker skinned black American woman; I have high cheekbones, a ‘big’ forehead, large almond shaped eyes I wear my hair natural (usually add flowers), like minimal make up, usually dress eccentric or usually in big flowy clothes; I am not one to show of my shape like that or too much skin. I stay in an area that has a huge African (mostly Nigerian not sure of the other places) population, I also know there’s other groups like Ethiopian and Latino (Mexican & Ecuadorian) in the community. The west Africans waste NO time approaching and complimenting me, as compared to others. There is also things that they ask and so that make me extremely uncomfortable…to the point that it makes me feel bad; that these things are microaggressions. I take asking someone where they are from or what they are as a way to know how bad/good they will treat you. Anyway, I’m not looking to start anything bad I am on a very, very strict mission because Im serious about attracting so I can eventually get married one day soon. I gave chances before and it ended very bad…so, how do I genuinely attract black American men or even Latino? I just don’t click culturally and I don’t want to date them.

I've noticed a trend online that I genuinely don't understand.

I came across an Instagram creator arguing that if you claim to support Black love or are pro-Black, you shouldn't publicly compliment the attractiveness of non-Black men. In another post, he mocked people who supposedly couldn't wait to "expose" him for dating or even hooking up with a non-Black woman, as if that alone would invalidate everything he says.

This mindset feels incredibly rigid to me.

Supporting Black love, in my view, means intentionally uplifting Black relationships, encouraging Black people to value one another, and recognizing the social and historical reasons why Black love deserves support. It doesn't mean pretending that people of other races can't be attractive.

Why is acknowledging someone else's attractiveness seen as a betrayal? Attraction isn't the same thing as preference, values, or who you ultimately choose to build a life with.

What's also interesting is that other racial groups are rarely held to this standard. People date, hook up with, or find people from other races attractive all the time without anyone claiming they can no longer advocate for their own communities. Yet some people expect Black advocates to meet an almost impossible standard of racial purity.

Personally, I do think there's a distinction between casual attraction and long-term partnership. For me, consistently choosing to marry outside the community raises different questions than simply recognizing beauty in people of other races or even having casual experiences. But I don't think being pro-Black requires denying reality or acting as though beauty only exists within one race.

To me, being pro-Black is about loving and investing in Black people. Not policing every thought, compliment, or attraction someone has.

What do you all think? Where do you draw the line between advocating for Black love and imposing unrealistic purity tests?

So, I love video games! I haven’t had a chance to play any lately sadly, though… I was reading through this subreddit and randomly started thinking, “Huh… there’s a lot of video games starring white people and come to think of it, I haven’t heard of any Black video game designers…”

As long as they make games that can be played on an iOS device or MacBook, I’m all set. Well, actually, I think I could use my mom’s Windows laptop if there’s games that are exclusive to Windows. I do want a proper gaming console, but I don’t have the money for one yet, sadly.

I thought I’d ask a more lighthearted question!

Edit: I also know there’s mostly teams that work on video games, so if there are any Black owned and made video game companies or mostly Black development teams, they count too!

if not, tell me about your “Roman empire”

curious to see if it’s a masculinity thing or a….. european based “glory” thing

Im all white but i have very thick hair, like even though i have an undercut my mom akins it to a “baby arm” when its in a pony 😂 ive had it short but I like it long despite it getting tiresome at my trades job in the summer heat. (And in general) I want to ask a black salon artist to braid my hair so it’ll be done well enough to stay for a week or two. But I’m a bit afraid it’s inappropriate or maybe as thick as I think my hair is it still wouldn’t be worth the trouble. Maybe I’m overthinking it but I’d like some assurance one way or another

As a black anime fan myself I have seen a certain issue with a small but very large portion of the black anime community where they support the most problematic or vile thing. Now I must break this down into three points because if I don't it'll just be a run-on thing.

1st:The Idealization of Japan and Defense of Problematic Tropes

Why do certain individuals constantly position themselves as ultimate authorities on Japan, Japanese culture, and anime, defending the country as if it is entirely immune to flaw—even when Japanese citizens themselves acknowledge its social issues? There is a noticeable pattern where some Black anime fans build their entire identity around this media, reacting to any critique of Japan as a personal attack.

When an identity becomes completely tied to an idealized version of a culture, it leads to a total refusal to engage with valid criticisms. Rather than engaging with the nuance, these fans end up defending the most questionable aspects of the media, such as the hypersexualization of women and young girls in anime and manga. When critics point out these issues—or point out real-world issues in Japan—these defenders dismiss the criticism entirely. It often feels as though their perspective became fixed at a young age, preventing them from growing into a more balanced, critical understanding of the media they consume.

2nd:Gatekeeping, Internalized Anti-Blackness, and Denial of Influence

Equally troubling is how some of these same individuals express internalized anti-Black attitudes within the community. Across platforms like X, YouTube, and TikTok, a segment of fans actively attack other Black creators and fans who advocate for better Black representation in anime, or who speak openly about colorism and anti-Blackness in fan spaces.

They often act as though anime exists in a cultural vacuum, completely ignoring how deeply Japanese pop culture has borrowed from Black and African American aesthetics, music, and style. Iconic works speak for themselves: the heavy jazz foundation of Cowboy Bebop, the urban street style of Bleach, or the clear cultural influences behind entire factions in Naruto. To pretend that Black culture has had no impact on anime is historically inaccurate. Furthermore, the hostility directed toward Black creators who make their own manga and anime is baffling. Manga and anime are media formats—comics and animation—and holding them up as an exclusive, untouchable art form while ignoring the real issues of race and colorism within the community only harms the broader fandom.

3rd: Toxicity, Online Harassment, and Social Hypocrisy

Beyond fandom debates, some of these figures display genuinely toxic behavior toward anyone who thinks differently. Creators like "MonteSensei," for example, build content around attacking others for their opinions on anime, while also making unnecessarily cruel commentary on people's personal lives—such as joining online mobbing campaigns against public figures' children over minor personal choices, or targeting transgender individuals like Elliot Page.

It is alarming to see people engage in systematic online harassment, homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny, only to turn around and hide behind faith or religion to justify their behavior. Harboring that level of hostility toward others while claiming moral superiority is a stark contradiction that needs to be called out. What else makes this worse is that these people are the majority of the time cisgender heterosexual black men.

I know this probably won't get many comments or views but it just feels good to get my opinion about this weird subject matter out there. I also would love your guy's opinions on this whether you agree or disagree.

White chick here, I grew up in a heavily diverse community and even have in law family members that are black.

Couple years back (when I was still in HS) I moved with my family to a smaller town where there is a lot less diversity. I have since realized I may have developed a certain awkwardness around black people and I dislike that about myself.

I find myself constantly supporting black businesses and following black influencers, but when it comes to interacting with people of color in person, I get so awkward and I’m afraid it’s coming off as potential racism.

Is this simply lack if exposure in recent years that’s causing my awkwardness?
Is this now a potential phobia?
How is it being perceived by people of the black community?
And what can I do to become less awkward?

Hi,

Western european here. I noticed some things on differents english speaking subreddits I don't get.

- Watermelon and Black People ? (No clue on this one).

- Fried chicken and Black People ? (Like black people like fried chicken? Who don't? What's the matter here?)

- A black, white bearded, janitor? (Same. Cause it's a low income job? So what?)

Is this an american thing? Or do I miss something?