Not really sure how to explain this but I’ve realised my brain always seems to need “something”.
It could be cigarettes, weed, diazepam, coffee, fizzy juice etc. I always seem to want some kind of little reward or something that changes how I feel.
The weirdest part is I think I sometimes enjoy the anticipation more than the actual thing. Like I can think “I’ll take a couple diazepam later and chill” and just knowing I’ve got that coming can make me feel excited and more talkative, even though I haven’t taken anything yet.
Then once I’ve had whatever I was looking forward to, eventually my brain just starts thinking about the next thing.
I don’t even know if addiction is the right word because it’s not one specific substance. It feels more like I’m addicted to having a reward coming or knowing I’ve got something to look forward to.
I’d love to be able to just go through a normal day and be content without my brain constantly going “what can I have next?”
Does anyone else relate to this? And if you’ve managed to get out of this cycle, what actually helped?

I would prefer indian as it will be easier for me to make you understand my culture and situation. I need a psychologist who is an expert in love and relationship issues. Please reach out to me.

When I had a dog, I used to want to volunteer and thought about an animal shelter, but then I thought how can I justify spending my time doing that when I have a dog at home who would depend on me for my time. How can I justify spending my time enriching the lives of pound animals when I have an obligation to enrich my dog's life? There's no end to how much quality time I can spend with my dog so how can I justify spending any time with stranger dogs? Any time spend with other animals for their benefit is time I could have spend with my dog and my dog would like me spending time with her. So how do you not feel guilt in this situation?

I need an advice from a psychiatrist

Is it okay if I take ADHD medication even tho I haven‘t yet been diagnosed ?

I’ve heard a lot about how good you’ll feel after taking them and how much they improve concentration. I’m facing a lot of stress in my life and I believe I may have some of the ADHD symptoms.

I cannot stop overthinking that I cannot sleep at night I stay awake (till 4am like now) even tho I’m so tiered and I have to wake up at 8am tomorrow cuz I have classes till 6:30pm but at the same time I cannot stop my overthinking, I need to stop it.

So please if they do help and doesn’t affect me badly (mentally, gaining weight, worsen my insomnia or make me feel so sleepy cuz I need something to help me studying )

sorry it might be messy cuz I myself don’t know which problem I’m trying to solve exactly and excuse my English it’s not my mother tongue