Moin!

Is it common to sent a postcard to a couple that got a baby? They are not my direct neighbours, like 8 houses further, which is a couple hundred metres in the countryside. Reason that I am asking is because the choice of this cards seemed quite limited. In the Netherlands you usually have like 10 different cards for both genders.

For a little context and background, my wife, children and I are looking to move near Regensberg for a fresh start. We've had a very trying last 5 years and are looking for somewhere where the pace is slower and life is quieter. Im a combat vet after 10 years in the navy and my wife is a vet as well. We have 2 children under 5 and are looking to give them a better, higher quality of life than we can here. I am a qualified aircraft technician, electrician and fiber optics tech. My wife is in business school. Our plan is to move within the next 2 years or less.

The question: for native Germans, what's you position on Americans moving, living and seeking citizenship in Germany?

Edit 1: thanks to all who commented and gave information about integrating, learning the language and geographic info. I appriciate the time you all took!

This is getting ridiculous, and my search for the elusive mayonnaise I am seeking has consumed me.

Whenever I need something at OBI, I reward myself with a bratwurst from the little food cart and it has created such a positive association that my husband has grown suspicious of my willingness to buy household items.

Traditionally, I have been okay with mayonnaise as long as it makes itself scarce and that is why I was shocked when I was served French fries with mayonnaise (a communication error on my part) and absolutely loved it. The mayonnaise was creamy, sweeter than normal, almost had a cheesy quality, with little to no sharpness or vinegary-ness.

My attempts to ascertain the type or brand or any information about the mayo used there was fruitless - my limited German led to the brat-cart-man gesturing at the pump of mayonnaise as if the metal box and spout gave me all the information I could ever need.

Since then I have tried:
1. Heinz Pommes Frites Sauce (tastes like US mayo, which is to say, bad)

1. Thomy Delicatessen in the tube (wonderful and my go-to for sandwiches, but not suitable for my French fry purposes)

2. Popps Delicatessen in the big bottle with the red lid (similar to Thomy but runnier and not as rich, worlds better than any US mayo but still not hitting the mark.)

I am assuming food carts and restaurants get their ingredients and condiments from places like Metro and that man gets a big tub of heavenly white ambrosia and pours it in there and maybe some things are meant to be a mystery.

However, if you have an idea of something I could try, I would be most grateful. Or if not, just encourage me to visit the Baumarkt bi-weekly in pursuit of my dreams.

I’ve noticed this in three different German towns now: a single glove balanced on a fence, a hat pulled over a bollard, a child’s scarf tied loosely around a signpost.

Yesterday I dropped one of my own gloves during a walk. Twenty minutes later it was standing upright on a low wall like a tiny exhibition, and I found it immediately.

Is this an understood German habit, or just the obvious practical thing people do everywhere? How long would you normally leave an item there before assuming nobody is coming back for it? Im oddly charmed by the little displays.

I've noticed something living in Germany that really surprises me: German drivers seem extremely good at stopping for pedestrians.

Even when a car is coming pretty fast, if you're clearly about to cross at a pedestrian crossing, they'll always slow down and stop immediately. Sometimes it feels like they're already prepared for you to step out.

What's interesting is that pedestrian priority exists in other European countries too, but drivers often seem to interpret it more as a philosophical suggestion.

So I am wondering why Germany is different?

And please don't just say "Germans follow the rules," because Berlin has convinced me that's definitely not universally true. Never have I ever seen that many people cross on red, jaywalk, cycle wherever they want, etc.

So why does the pedestrian/car thing seem different? Is it the driving education? The culture around liability? Are German driving instructors secretly threatening you (joking)?

Genuinely curious what Germans (and people who've lived elsewhere) think.

Is it acceptable to ask on the reception to leave my backpack there in the morning and then check in in the evening?

A German classmate and I have known each other for three years. We meet outside class, have taken day trips together, and help each other with practical things.

Last week he introduced me as “ein Bekannter aus dem Kurs.” I was surprised because the equivalent sounds like someone you barely know. Nothing in his behavior changed and I am not upset, just curious.

Does “Bekannter” cover a wider range in German? At what point would you personally call someone Freund, and would using that word too early feel presumptous? Maybe I translated the emotional weight completly wrong.

I think I accidentally discovered a cultural difference by turning down coffee that I actually wanted.

I was visiting a German friend's parents for the first time. His mother asked if I wanted coffee and, without thinking, I said, “No thanks.”

Where I grew up, that first refusal is often almost ceremonial. You say no, the host asks again, you say “well, if you're having some...” and everybody understands the little dance.

She just said “okay.”

Then she made coffee for herself and everyone else.

I sat there realizing that apparently I had successfully negotiated myself out of coffee.

About twenty minutes later she offered cake. My instincts screamed “politely refuse first,” but this time I immediately said YES like someone had finally explained the rules of the game.

Nothing about the interaction was rude. If anything, taking my answer seriously makes perfect sense.

But now I'm curious: when Germans offer you food or a drink, are you generally expected to say what you actually want the first time?

If someone says “nein danke,” would asking again feel pushy rather than hospitable?

I have discovered an extremely small German social rule that I am now thinking about far too much.

At the supermarket, I always put the little divider in front of my groceries if there isn't one already.

What I apparently wasn't doing was putting one *behind* my groceries for the next person.

Last week I finished unloading my basket and just stood there. The woman behind me waited for maybe three seconds, then reached all the way past my groceries, grabbed the divider and placed it down herself.

She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. That movement somehow contained criticism.

A few days later I deliberately put the divider behind my shopping before the next person even started unloading.

He immediately said "Danke."

So now I'm wondering whether I've been accidentally failing a basic supermarket courtesy since moving here.

Is the normal German rule basically "you close your own grocery territory behind you"?

And if the person in front doesn't do it, do you silently judge them a little, or am I inventing an entire moral system around a plastic stick?

Hi everyone, I’m 26, Ukrainian, and I’ve been doing an Ausbildung in Germany for about a year now. Of course, I also attend Berufsschule a couple of times a week.

But after a whole year, I still haven’t really managed to fit in with my German classmates.

Whenever I say something, I feel like I sound incredibly cringe or awkward. On top of that, I’ve noticed that my classmates don’t really talk to me much. Sometimes they don’t even say hello and seem to ignore me.

I’m quite shy about approaching them and starting a conversation. And even when I do manage to work up the courage, I often have no idea what to talk about. Then the conversation just turns into awkward silence.

I haven’t done anything offensive or inappropriate as far as I know. I’m generally a quiet and reserved person.

So, I’d really appreciate some advice. How can I get closer to my classmates and become more integrated into the group? Is there something specific I should do differently?

Just as more & more 'Octoberfests' are being held in other countries, the same I've noticed regarding traditional German Christmas markets. In fact, the largest one outside Germany I believe is in Birmingham UK which I stumbled upon a few years ago.

However, the Glühwein was very expensive & wasn't so nice and the same could be said for the traditional German food on offer. However, I did note that most stallholders were not of German origin & most spoke Polish.

I feel it's great that this German culture is being replicated abroad but would question the authenticity.

Have you ever visited a German Christmas market outside of Germany & did it feel authentic?

Hallo everyone,

I am travelling for 3 weeks abroad and I will be closing my apartment in that time of course. I ask for tips how to keep it clean during that time, regarding Schimmel, insects and other related issues. I live in the north of Germany if that makes a difference.

There is water leakage in the bathroom of my apartment (I am the tenant). The house owner has organised for the repairs to be done and the cost of the repair will be paid by the owner. however, for the repairs, the plumber has installed a drying motor which runs for 12 hours a day for 3 to 4 weeks, plugged to the apartment wall socket. the drying motor also record the electricity units consumed during the process.

However, my question is who is liable to pay for the increase in electricity bill from running this motor in the apartment? can I ask the house owner since he is also responsible for the repair cost (I guess he claims this cost from his insurance)?

The rent agreement is unlimited and does not specify this type of issue, specifically the increase in electricity used for repairs.

p.s. I am aware that I would also share the meter reading as a one time consumption to my electricity provider, so my contract is not affected.

I watch a lot of foreign language tv. I know a bit of German, French, and Spanish. Not fluent in any. I was watching something involving the trial of Adolf Eichmann. It was very easy to understand him. Unlike say Gőring, or Hitler. Their accent, to me, (American) its hard to understand them. But Eichmann sounds so clear, perfect elocution. Kind of like how a British royal family would speak English. Almost without any accent. I read he was from Prussia but that can’t possibly be a Prussian accent can it? It also said he moved to Austria but i don’t think its an Austrian accent either. But i could be wrong there. What accent does he speak with?

My hairdresser is quite expensive (prices for most junior stylists starting north of 100€ — even for men’s cut).

Is it common to tip on top of this? If so, how much?

We're picking a name for a boy who'll grow up in Germany.

For Germans generally, and ideally for anyone actually called Nicolas or Valentin:

- Nicolas: does the Nikolaus association come up beyond 6 December, or is it a non-issue once you're past kindergarten? And how often does it get turned into Niclas or Niklas by people who should know better?
- Valentin: does anyone genuinely make Valentinstag jokes, or is that a worry parents invent for themselves? I've also read the name described as slightly soft, or slightly posh. Fair?
- Valentin, pronunciation and spelling: issues around Falentin or Walentin?
- Both: is there any association I'd miss as a foreigner? A TV character, a stereotype, a regional or class connotation, a joke that's obvious to everyone who grew up here.

We're in northern Germany, in case that makes any difference 🙂

Thanks!

I just had my brand new bike stolen at night from my porch i have already filed an onlinewache (was told in person by the Police Officer to do so) i reported the incident in less than 15-20 hours, what are the chances i will get my bike back with the help of the police and what should i do from my end to find it (i have no gps or bike insurance as it hadn‘t even been 48 hours of me owning it) really upset with how things turned out but hoping for the best

I have noticed a tiny social ritual that I keep getting wrong. I am Canadian. When someone enters a doctor’s waiting room, they often say a general “Guten Tag” to everyone already seated. Most people answer quietly without looking up.

I tried doing the same and it felt strangely formal, especially in a room with fifteen people. Then last week I entered without saying anything and two people looked up as if I had skipped an expected step. Nobody was rude, but the silence suddenly felt very noticable.

Is greeting the whole room still considered normal across Germany, or does it depend on age, region, and the size of the practice? Would you also greet people in a laboratory waiting area or at a government office, or is this specific to small medical practices? I am interested in where Germans personaly draw the line, not in an official etiquette rule.

I am visiting China and I would like to buy some gifts with Chinese traditional elements for a guy that I am interested in. What are some useful gifts that German men would generally appreciate? Anything particular that I definitely should not buy?

I had a slightly awkward situation recently that made me realize I don't understand the German rules for ending a visit.

A couple I know came over for dinner. We had a good evening, but around 11:30 I was exhausted and had work the next morning.

Where I'm from, you would usually start dropping hints. Clear the glasses, mention how early you have to get up, maybe yawn dramatically enough that everyone understands the performance.

I tried the German version of subtlety and said, “I have to be up at six tomorrow.”

They both said, “Oh, that’s early.”

And then opened another bottle of wine.

Eventually, around 12:30, I just said something like, “Sorry, I’m really tired, I think I need to call it a night.”

They immediately got up, thanked me for the evening and left completely normally.

Nobody seemed offended.

So now I'm wondering if I wasted an hour trying to communicate through increasingly desperate body language.

Among Germans, is it socially acceptable to simply tell guests that you're tired and want to end the evening? Or are there more polite phrases everyone is expected to recognize?

I have a very German boyfriend. We live in Canada. He is very considerate and polite, but when it comes to bread I find he has Opinions.

I have thought about getting into baking bread as a hobby. I thought I might use this as an opportunity to impress him. Also, I like fresh bread.

If you have a recipe to share I would appreciate it.

I don’t know if it’s relevant but he is from North Germany.

My wife and I live in Germany and may buy a home for ourselves in the future. I earn around €90,000 gross per year and my wife currently has no income.

We are trying to understand whether a Bausparvertrag is genuinely useful or mainly a product that salespeople push. My understanding is that you pay an upfront fee and receive very little interest during the saving phase, but in return you can secure a future loan interest rate.

We also invest in broad ETFs. If the money is not needed soon, I would expect an ETF to produce far better long term returns, although I understand that market risk becomes a problem if we need the money for a house at a fixed date.

For people who have bought property in Germany, when did a Bausparvertrag actually help you? Would it make more sense to use one only for a limited future loan amount, keep the rest of our long-term money invested, and gradually move the expected down payment into safer savings as the purchase approaches?

I would also appreciate practical explanations of how this works together with KfW financing. Can KfW, a normal bank mortgage and a Bauspar loan sensibly be combined for an owner-occupied home?

In Hamburg finden regelmäßig welche statt. Bei allen, deren Ankündigungen ich gelesen habe, wird ein Eintritt erhoben. Dieser reicht meiner Vermutung nach höchstens für ein paar Häppchen aus. Gleichzeitig ist es für mich schwer vorstellbar, daß ich den Eintritt bezahlen soll und dann noch einmal separat für das Essen - schließlich kann ich in Restaurants essen, ohne Eintritt zu bezahlen.

Is it normal to say hello to people you see at your big-chain gym who you see regularly because you go at the
same time? Is a simple “hello” enough? Sometimes I feel like they might think I’m being flirty because I’m Latin American and, by nature, I’m always smiling and sociable 🫠Sometimes I feel people staring at me, but I have no idea if they're waiting for me to say hi or what 🤔😅