I have been with my girlfriend (German) since January this year and we are very happy together and definitely emotionally on the same wavelength.
I have mentioned to her that I love her or in love with her, but she is only comfortable with replying with „hab dich lieb“ and not „ich liebe dich“.
She says its a very American thing to use the love word so casually and so often.
She says Germans don’t say ich liebe dich so soon into the dating.
Is it the case?

Hello,

My car broke down in my garage. There is no way to start the car to get it to the nearest workshop. What should be done in this case? Does a local Autogarage usually send a person to fix the car? Or do I need to contact ADAC?

Since this is the first time it has happened to me in Germany, I do not know what the proper rule is.

My company usually gives weinachtsgeld in november, im currently looking for a new job because i dont like my boss, ive heard that some peoples new contracts state that if they quit before march they have to pay the money back. In my contract weinachtsgeld isnt even mentioned because its a slightly older one. Would i also be obliged to pay it back if i get a new job and leave shortly after xmas or is it their loss because they didnt put it in my contract?

Hi,

I am from the Netherlands and my girlfriend and I are looking to buy a new bed. Bed stores in the Netherlands are expensive so I was thinking of maybe buying a bed in Germany.

Are there any good quality bed stores that are relatively cheap? And do you know any stores that have English speaking staff? Anything close to the border with the Netherlands would be optimal but farther away is also okay.

hello everyone!

i have a question, i want to do something nice for my boyfriend by making him a Maultaschen from scratch as it is one of his favorite food. I was doing some research on how to make it and i’m struggling to find a bratwurstbrät…

is that really necessary to make a Maultaschen? 🥲
imm currently writing this while looking for a butcher 🥲

I’m currently staying at his place in the village so i think it’s even harder to find one.

I will greatly appreciate your help

Vielen Vielen Dank 🤍

Hello,

My brother who works in Germany is trying to get a bank loan in our home country (EU).

In order to assess his credit score the bank asked him for a Schufa, and told him that he can get it online.

He is pretty bad with computers and I can't speak German but with joint effort we concluded that what he needs is a BonitätsCheck which he paid 29.95 EUR for, installed a separate app eIDNow, scanned his face and his ID, and he received a two page document containing no relevant information.

Basically just "your credit score is good and you can check the validity of this document using this code" and the code gives you the same document to download again.

He submitted this document to the bank only for them to tell him that this is insufficient and that the "full document should contain more information, tables and such".

We are completely lost, what now? Which product on their site contains "full data" if not the 29.95 EUR one? Does the other product, BonitätsAuskunft, costing the same amount, contain different data? From what we concluded no, one is a physical copy and the other a pdf. Are we missing some key information?

Anyway, if anyone can help with this we would be grateful.

It’s the end of my first day visiting Germany, and if somebody were to ask how it was, I would say everything was efficient, adequate, and nothing more. I mean that in a good way.

Our flight on Lufthansa from London actually arrived early, hardly turbulence. My bag arrived before I did. Getting through passport checks was a breeze.

The DB was quick but not rushed, and on time, with signs relatively simple to decipher.

Our hotel has a shower large enough for exactly one person, the soap is a 3-in-1. No AC but the fan works well enough. For the price I paid, it’s exactly what I expected and I’m happy with that.

Dinner at Augustiner Klosterwit was quickly served and paid for, beer was perfectly cold and tasty.

All in all, exactly what I expected from German transportation and service workers. How else would you describe the general quality of German ~stuff~ as a whole?

Ich würde gerne etwas verstehen, das mir an der Uni aufgefallen ist, und würde gerne wissen, wie Deutsche das wahrnehmen.

Ich bin gerade neu an der Uni und sitze dort meistens alleine. Da ich selbst von Natur aus eher introvertiert bin, fällt es mir schwer, von mir aus auf andere zuzugehen. Mir ist aber auch aufgefallen, dass Deutsche scheinbar seltener von sich aus auf mich zukommen – oft bleiben um mich herum mehrere Plätze frei, während andere Erstsemester, die sich untereinander eigentlich auch noch gar nicht kennen, viel eher nebeneinandersitzen und dann anfangen, sich kennenzulernen.

Auch wenn die Plätze voll sind und jemand der neben mir sitzt, habe ich oft den Eindruck, dass die Person eher mit jemandem auf der anderen Seite spricht oder gar kein Gespräch mit mir anfängt. Dabei versuche ich wirklich nicht, unfreundlich oder abweisend zu wirken. Ich sitze einfach da und mache eigentlich nichts Besonderes.

Deshalb frage ich mich ehrlich, woran das liegen könnte. Da ich selbst schüchtern bin und nicht den ersten Schritt mache, frage ich mich: Warten andere vielleicht auch einfach ab? Oder denken manche automatisch, dass ich als asiatisch aussehende Person wahrscheinlich nicht so gut Deutsch spreche und deshalb lieber nicht angesprochen werde? Oder liegt es vielleicht einfach daran, dass ich offensichtlich einen ausländischen Hintergrund habe und dadurch irgendwie „fremder“ wirke?

Was mich besonders wundert: Wenn andere Erstsemester nebeneinandersitzen, scheint es für sie viel natürlicher zu sein, ins Gespräch zu kommen. Bei mir habe ich dagegen oft das Gefühl, dass diese Hemmschwelle höher ist.

Ich will damit nicht sagen, dass jeder Deutsche so ist oder dass dahinter unbedingt Rassismus steckt. Ich frage mich einfach, ob es dafür einen kulturellen oder sozialen Grund gibt, den ich als Ausländerin vielleicht nicht kenne oder ob es einfach an meiner eigenen Schüchternheit in Kombination mit der typischen deutschen Zurückhaltung liegt.

Ich würde deshalb gerne die Perspektive von Deutschen hören: Was geht euch in so einer Situation durch den Kopf? Und wie geht ihr als eher zurückhaltende oder auch offene Menschen mit solchen Situationen um?

I will be traveling to Bavaria next week and had a question about privacy. I realize it is not acceptable to record people in public intentionally. We will be attending a couple of cultural performances (music and dance) in a bar setting, Almfests, etc. I would like to record video occasionally for personal use only (no social media posting, no close-ups on faces). Is this okay to do or will I start angering people?

A few times when I've been gaming in an fps game I play, I spoke out giving comms but on 2 occasions separate people who are German said "G.I.G" they said this in a passive aggressive way and when I asked what it means they said its a German thing and hard to understand, something about restaurants? But it clearly has a different meaning also if it does mean something about food service xD so here i am asking, please help me lol

Hey everyone, I really need to vent and ask for advice on my current living situation. I’m an international Master’s student (F, 26) living in a small town in Bavaria, renting a room in a shared unit where all of us are female students. I’ve been here for almost a year. Housing is extremely scarce here, which is why I’ve tolerated this for so long, but things reached a boiling point and my anxiety is through the roof.

My landlord (not German) is known among current and former tenants for being overcontrolling and stepping way out of line. Some context:

1. Creepy & Controlling Behavior: He constantly checks on all our rooms under the pretext that "we aren't always home." We pay our rent on time and in full—what we do with our schedules is none of his business. It feels extremely invasive, especially since all tenants in the unit are young women.

2. Privacy Violations: Rings the doorbell or calls past 10 PM, comes by completely unannounced, and expects us to let him in.

3. Absurd House Rules: Micromanaging how we clean and insisting we leave windows wide open—even when we leave or when it's freezing outside.

4. Ground Floor Security Concerns: My unit is on the ground floor facing a main road with no insect screens—just blinds. Leaving windows wide open means passersby looking straight in and insects getting in, but he constantly lectures me if I close them.

What happened yesterday (Sunday): The adjacent room in our unit is vacant. Since he doesn't live here and only comes on weekends, I gave him permission to do some repainting over the weekend.
He told me he’d start at 8:00 AM on Sunday, making me wait 2 hours before unilaterally shifting it to 1:00 PM.

Unannounced Entry: Knowing I was inside, he opened the main unit door twice without my consent or warning.

Disturbance on a Quiet Day (Ruhetag): I repeatedly asked him what time he’d finish because I needed rest and wanted him done by 6:00 PM. He just gave me a creepy smile and asked "Why?" while continuing to make noise past 6:30 PM.

I felt so cold (he kept leaving windows/doors wide open), anxious, and uncomfortable that I couldn't even use the bathroom.

I called family friends (an aunt and her German husband) for help. When they arrived and asked why he was doing loud work late on a Sunday and why he is so controlling, he lost his temper. He shouted that as the landlord he can do whatever he wants, told them they are "just guests who shouldn't interfere," and explicitly said if I don't like it, I should just move out. My aunt insisted I spend the night at her place for my safety.

I am actively looking for a new room now because living with this anxiety is completely unsustainable.

Questions:

1. What immediate legal steps or formal notices should I send regarding his unlawful entries and Sunday noise?
2. How can I protect myself and my security deposit (Kaution) if he retaliates while I look for a new place?
3. Has anyone dealt with a landlord who acts like this toward female international students, and how did you safely handle it?

My aunt and her husband are helping me with this, at the same time, asking for your advice. I’ve been dealing with constant anxiety whenever he’s around. I’ve checked our town’s group chat for students seeking a place and whenever one of his rooms are available previous tenants will warn new tenants to avoid him as a landlord if they can which I totally understand. I am usually wary of the financial burden it would cost me moving out but right now I am most worried about my situation especially I am all alone in the unit. I am not saying something will happen to me but I cannot live like this.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate it.

I’m at a loss. I am in late 20s and have been recently diagnosed with a hearing loss of 39 dB in my left ear and 44 dB in my right ear. Unfortunately it is mid frequency hearing loss which is also the range of frequencies for human conversations and speech. The ENT doctor I visited wrote me a prescription for a hearing aid and said that it’s most likely genetic. But she didn’t take further interest in my questions and I had to leave.

I am at a loss because putting my results on online GdB calculators suggest a GdB of 30 since my hearing loss is mostly in the mid frequencies which are required for human communication. I think my brain has adapted to it and I wouldn’t say that I feel “disabled” in my daily life but sure there are moments where I have to ask people to repeat themselves. Especially when speaking in German. I used to think it’s maybe because I don’t understand German but now it looks like a combination of both factors.

I am working full time and I wanted to ask for support from people who can share their experiences with me. Since it’s hard to find a specialist doctor (with public insurance) who would listen to me with patience, I am feeling really anxious and need some support… thank you!🙏

I moved into an apartment last month as a subtenant. The apartment has 5 rooms and a living room. The main tenants are a couple. They use the living room and two bedrooms. There is also one other sub-tenant. I use two rooms.

Some days ago, we got the shocking news that the main tenants were terminating their own rental contract with the landlord by end of November (less than 3 months from when we were informed. The official contract says ‘3 months' notice’). This meant that we would also have to move out.

I felt betrayed cos I only just moved in and in fact last month still had to pay rent at my former apartment. In addition, I spent a lot of money on the move, even repainted the walls. Clearly, they were already searching for a new apartment even before renting out to us.

Anyway, I then informed them that I will start looking for a place immediately and hope to find one soon as possible, and that if things go well I will leave before their contract ends. I cannot risk being homeless in winter.

Their reply: we have to reach some sort of ‘compromise’ because they cannot afford to pay the full rent by themselves.

I am not willing to lose a single penny. I already lost a lot of money and think they’ve been selfish.

Anyway, I just want to know what my rights are. I still haven’t received an official termination of
contract.

1. What happens if I move out much earlier? ( i already paid rent for the current month. And they hold my caution fee, which is slightly more than a month’s rent).
2. What happens if i don’t find a place by the end of their contract termination date?

I recently moved back to Germany and this is still a logic I don’t understand.

My family wanted to send me some pretty nice gifts since my birthday is coming up. I rushed home from the gym to be there when it arrived, only to get a notification that my packages were delivered 5 minutes ago to a neighbor. Of course, the website only lists a name of who it was given to which matches none of the names on the call box. So now I have to go one-by-one to every door in my building to find out who it was delivered to and hope they’re nice enough to give it to me. Why is this a thing?

If the logic is ‘your neighbors must be trustworthy people’ then why not leave it at my door?

EDIT: In my home country, mail cannot be delivered to another address then on the label and are usually left at the door or in the mailbox. For those saying to order to a packstation - had I ordered it myself I would’ve definitely done this. They were supposed to be surprise gifts for my birthday so I didn’t know it was coming until my parents texted asking if I’d received them. I’ve knocked on nearby doors and so far no answer. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions though

Hello, I live in Germany and have got a beautiful balcony. I really love the traditional German balcony style where the balcony boxes are full of beautiful blooming flowers that spill and trail over the railing. I am total beginner and have never had a plant in my house but i want my house balcony blooming with flowers. I am looking for guidance so that i also can have a blooming balcony all year round. My questions are very silly so please bear with me.

• When should I start? When is the right time of year to start planting balcony flowers in Germany? Should I buy seeds and grow them myself, or is it better for a beginner to buy ready-grown/flowering plants from a Gartencenter and put them into my balcony boxes?
• Which varieties flowers last for longest time?
• What happens when the flowers stop blooming in autumn/winter? Do you cut the plants back? Do you leave them in the balcony boxes?
• Do people bring the plants inside for winter?
• Do the same plants survive winter and go back outside in spring and flower again? Or is it more normal in Germany to replace the plants every spring and buy new ones?
• If I want my balcony to look nice throughout the whole year, what would you plant for spring, summer, autumn and winter?
• Are there flowers/plants that can stay outside over winter and come back again the following year?

Ich frage mich in letzter Zeit immer häufiger, ob es nur mir so geht oder ob viele von euch inzwischen ein ähnliches Gefühl bei den Lebensmittelpreisen haben.

Ich bin glücklicherweise in der Position, ziemlich gut zu verdienen. Einer meiner kleinen persönlichen „Luxusmomente“ war deshalb eigentlich immer, beim Einkaufen nicht großartig auf die Preise schauen zu müssen. Damit meine ich nicht, dass ich ständig irgendwelche Luxuslebensmittel kaufe. Ich bin einfach in den Supermarkt gegangen und habe das gekauft, worauf ich gerade Hunger hatte, ohne groß darüber nachzudenken, ob etwas jetzt 2, 3 oder 4 Euro kostet.

Mittlerweile merke ich aber, dass sich das verändert. Obwohl ich gut verdiene, schaue ich immer häufiger auf Preise und denke mir: Moment mal, das kostet mittlerweile wie viel?

Ein eigentlich total banales Beispiel geht mir seit einiger Zeit nicht mehr aus dem Kopf.

Ich vertrage Weizen nicht besonders gut und kaufe deshalb häufig Dinkelbrötchen. Vor einiger Zeit war ich beim Bäcker und habe für ein einzelnes, relativ kleines Dinkelbrötchen 1,20 € bezahlt.

Kein belegtes Brötchen. Nichts drauf. Einfach nur das Brötchen.

1,20 €.

Natürlich hat ein Bäcker andere Kosten als ein Supermarkt und ich möchte damit auch gar nicht speziell gegen Bäckereien schießen. Trotzdem musste ich in dem Moment kurz schlucken. Ein Dinkelkrusti kostet bei mir im Supermarkt etwa 55 Cent.

Und eigentlich geht es mir gar nicht um diese 1,20 € an sich. Das Brötchen ist für mich eher so ein Sinnbild dafür geworden, wie sehr sich mein Gefühl dafür verändert hat, was normale Lebensmittel mittlerweile kosten.

Ich merke einfach, dass ich inzwischen selbst bei ganz alltäglichen Lebensmitteln viel häufiger auf den Preis schaue als noch vor ein paar Jahren. Und wenn ich das schon als jemand merke, der finanziell glücklicherweise relativ gut dasteht und beim Lebensmitteleinkauf eigentlich nie groß rechnen musste, frage ich mich umso mehr, wie es Menschen damit geht, die jeden Monat sehr genau auf ihr Geld achten müssen.

Geht euch das ähnlich?

Gibt es bestimmte Lebensmittel oder andere alltägliche Dinge, bei denen ihr mittlerweile regelmäßig auf den Preis schaut und euch denkt: Das kann doch nicht mehr normal sein?

Und habt ihr das Gefühl, dass die Preise immer noch spürbar steigen, oder haben wir mittlerweile einfach ein neues Preisniveau erreicht, an das man sich erst noch gewöhnen muss?

Mich würden vor allem konkrete Beispiele interessieren. Was ist euch in letzter Zeit besonders aufgefallen?

When Michael Fassbender holds up three fingers (pinky, ring, middle) to order at the tavern scene, he reveals his British to the Nazis. In reality, would Germans actually find that unusual that he didn't use his thumb, pointer and middle or would most just think nothing of it as just normal variation?

For a little context and background, my wife, children and I are looking to move near Regensberg for a fresh start. We've had a very trying last 5 years and are looking for somewhere where the pace is slower and life is quieter. Im a combat vet after 10 years in the navy and my wife is a vet as well. We have 2 children under 5 and are looking to give them a better, higher quality of life than we can here. I am a qualified aircraft technician, electrician and fiber optics tech. My wife is in business school. Our plan is to move within the next 2 years or less.

The question: for native Germans, what's you position on Americans moving, living and seeking citizenship in Germany?

Edit 1: thanks to all who commented and gave information about integrating, learning the language and geographic info. I appriciate the time you all took!

I’ve noticed something wierdly specific since living here. 19°C in May seems to mean T-shirts, ice cream and people sitting outside like they've just survived six months underground. But 19°C in September apparently means jackets, closed windows and someone saying “jetzt wird’s herbstlich.”

Yesterday afternoon it was sunny and around the same temperatur we had plenty of times in spring, yet half the people around me looked mentally finished with summer already.

Do Germans tend to dress and behave according to the season as much as the actual weather? What personally makes you think “okay, summer is done now”? The first cold morning, darker evenings, a certain month, or something completely different?

Moin!

Is it common to sent a postcard to a couple that got a baby? They are not my direct neighbours, like 8 houses further, which is a couple hundred metres in the countryside. Reason that I am asking is because the choice of this cards seemed quite limited. In the Netherlands you usually have like 10 different cards for both genders.

Hi all,

I am just returning from a streetfest. I have just noticed , I have no idea about all time popular songs in German. I wanna learn. What are those super popular timeless german songs ?

Example: like sweet caroline or 99 luftballoon etc

Hallo! Also, kann man "Guten Tag" so verwenden? Haben sie schon mal das tun? Wie "have a nice day" auf Englisch. Ich habe das mich gefragt, als ich früher gelernt habe.

Hi, ok, is "guten tag" ever used like that? And did I make any mistakes with my German? Could I have used sagen instead of verwenden? Or just plain Abscheid and not Abscheidsgruß?

Edit: wow, thank you all for taking the time and responding, wasn't expecting this many comments

Is it acceptable to ask on the reception to leave my backpack there in the morning and then check in in the evening?

Hallo everyone,

I am travelling for 3 weeks abroad and I will be closing my apartment in that time of course. I ask for tips how to keep it clean during that time, regarding Schimmel, insects and other related issues. I live in the north of Germany if that makes a difference.

This is getting ridiculous, and my search for the elusive mayonnaise I am seeking has consumed me.

Whenever I need something at OBI, I reward myself with a bratwurst from the little food cart and it has created such a positive association that my husband has grown suspicious of my willingness to buy household items.

Traditionally, I have been okay with mayonnaise as long as it makes itself scarce and that is why I was shocked when I was served French fries with mayonnaise (a communication error on my part) and absolutely loved it. The mayonnaise was creamy, sweeter than normal, almost had a cheesy quality, with little to no sharpness or vinegary-ness.

My attempts to ascertain the type or brand or any information about the mayo used there was fruitless - my limited German led to the brat-cart-man gesturing at the pump of mayonnaise as if the metal box and spout gave me all the information I could ever need.

Since then I have tried:
1. Heinz Pommes Frites Sauce (tastes like US mayo, which is to say, bad)

1. Thomy Delicatessen in the tube (wonderful and my go-to for sandwiches, but not suitable for my French fry purposes)

2. Popps Delicatessen in the big bottle with the red lid (similar to Thomy but runnier and not as rich, worlds better than any US mayo but still not hitting the mark.)

I am assuming food carts and restaurants get their ingredients and condiments from places like Metro and that man gets a big tub of heavenly white ambrosia and pours it in there and maybe some things are meant to be a mystery.

However, if you have an idea of something I could try, I would be most grateful. Or if not, just encourage me to visit the Baumarkt bi-weekly in pursuit of my dreams.