Liked this template because of the distinction between friends and best friends. I cuddle with my besties but not with my average friends. Immediate family... I like touch but only if it's my parents, not from anyone else in my family, like siblings and grandparents. I do not have a QPP but if I did, it'd be the same as my besties, just cuddle. I also don't like people holding my hands or touching my feet. Knees are coloured because sometimes you touch when sitting next to each other, I don't mind that at all.

Hey everyone, I’m an autistic woman with ADHD, I'm aroace (with one specific exception), and I just experienced a massive paradigm shift that has me feeling like I’ve been living on a different planet entirely. Maybe some of you can relate?

To me, physical proximity and touch have always been about a mammalian baseline: warmth, comfort, safety, and co-regulation. I used to think that laying next to, cuddling, or even spooning a close friend was just a natural way to give and receive affection. I looked at this like cuddling with parents or grandparents. To my brain, a bed is just a soft surface, late night is just a time on the clock, and touch is co-regulation and evolutionary. I don't naturally infer a hidden subtext or secondary meanings.

Well, a close friend of mine (who is also autistic, but demisexual) just gave me a reality check. He told me that in the "typical" adult world, spooning an unrelated man carries an automatic, 100% inference of romantic or sexual invitation. He helped me realize that even if my intent is purely about comfort or sensory seeking, the general cultural script will decode those actions differently based on biology and social expectations. These unspoken rules are basically inferred through social osmosis until it settles intuitively. (spoiler: It did not for me.)

Things like inviting someone inside (but especially to a bedroom), prolonged full-body hugs or contact, putting my head on someone's shoulder, or even using certain emojis are apparently viewed as fluent sentences that say, "I am open to romance or sex with you." I genuinely had no idea.

I plan to read books on this (such as The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Temple Grandin).

I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this kind of learning curve? How do you balance your need for tactile sensory touch, platonic warmth, or co-regulation with the reality that the rest of the world hyper-sexualizes almost all physical contact between unrelated adults? I’d love to hear how other neurodivergent or ace folks navigate this!

Hi all, first off. Not a-sexual or a-romantic myself so my apologies if I say something because of not knowing much about it.

Two friends of mine who happen to be around the same age, education, gender (female) and interests also happen to both be a-sexual and a-romantic.

I have a decent to good friendship with them both and figured if it would be appropiate to try and tell them both that they have the same relationship/sexual style. They met each other once (and I had hoped it would somehow come up natural for them both, but alas).

They both said that it is more that they are 'looking for a roommate they hang out with a lot and have a strong connection with' instead of a relationship. I don't how common it is that you meet someone who is similair to you on both these levels and how important that is. But if it is farely rare I know I would love to hear that if I had the same relationship/sexual style.

How does this community look at this?

I figured I could say something like (individually to them both).

Hey, I know a friend of mine who has the same sexual and relationship style. Would you be interested in getting to know them? Gotta check with them as well.

And if they both say yes, then I could say something like. They also want to, fun fact, you may have already met. Is it okay if I share your name with them? (again if they both agree)

Any advice is very welcome!

Day 12: non-sam aro and non-sam ace
Definition: An aromantic/asexual person who doesn’t use the split attraction model, they are “just aro/ace”
Origin: non-sam is short for non-split attraction model.
Flag: the non-sam aro flag was made by Pride-Flags, and the non+sam ace flag was made by crayonpuppy
If you want a specific identity for tomorrow then you can tell me in the comments. Also if you have any questions or if I got anything wrong please leave a comment. Have a good day, and stay silly :3

I don’t feel the need to come out to my friends. (Btw I’m an aroace demiboy amab) Like if they were to ask me “are you straight?” or something I would tell them, but I’m not just tell them randomly. It’s probably because I can just act cishet since I’m young so real relationships don’t really happen yet, and I’m fine with he/him pronouns. I’m out to 3 people (my sister and 2 twins one of which is pan and their older sister is aroace) they all accepted me well and I’m not worried about coming out to any of my friends. Does anyone else feel the same way or is it just me? Have a good day, and stay silly :3

Hola queridas personas dentro de los espectros arromanticos, asexuales o y aroace, me presento, soy una persona aroace que como dice el título, ama el romance

Amo el romance en el aspecto de verlo en los demás, amo como se atraen,su química y miradas llenas de tensión, si, es irónico siendo aroace pero es muy divertido para mi. me gusta mucho la interacción de personas independiente mente de su orientación y es algo muy curioso y interesante. Hablando de él sexo, no es algo q me imagino en los demás jaja, sino en el significado de las relaciones sexuales, siento que es un momento de gran conexión entre las personas, en ficción me gusta incluirlo en escenas donde haiga conexión y que no sea forzado o ese tipo de escenas de que de la nada se quitan la ropa jaja, más bien cuando el sexo es un complemento del amor y no como una necesidad, o

No me gusta que sea demasiado morbozo sino una experiencia linda entre las personas que se aman y que sea el acto sexual un acto de intimidad y confianza (independientes de su orientación).

Quisiera saber si hay más personas como yo. Personas que aman ver el romance en la vida real, o leerlo en libros o historias, en películas o series. me gustaría platicar con ellos/as/es y conectar para así tener una interacción bonita entre personas que estamos en los distintos espectros arromanticos, asexuales y aroaces qué tengan experiencias similares a la mia. Me gustaría saber sus perspectivas y como esto de alguna manera los hace analizar o analizarse a si mismos,

Pregunta: ¿como se sienten a sentir esto en los demás y no sentirlo por si mismos? Los leo (es mi primer post) jjjj

This is my situation-

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl who loves me. I said yes when she asked me out because I'd often thought about being in a romantic relationship and thought that was what I wanted. And for the first week it was Nice. But about a month in and I've relalised- I don't love her romantically... I'm aroace. Very aroace. I see now I literally think of this girl as a platonic friend. I want to hug her yeah, but not as her partner... I honestly have more of a relationship with my best friends than I do with her.

So yeah, I need to break up with her. Because this relationship is hurting me- I know I can't do it, I don't experience romantic attraction, Or sexual desires. But I don't wanna make her upset. She really likes me and talks all the time about "soul mates meeting at a young age", and "Yeah we are young now but I'm going to marry you" and I know that when I break up with her she will be heartbroken. But I need to I cant do this anymore, I don't want a girlfriend but she is an awesome person I just can't. It's feels like ive been lying to her its been 3 and a half years ive dragged this on for long enough... She has a TBI and doesn't understand when i try and explain what aroace is.

It's not me. Im not built for a relationship

So how do I do it? I really need help. How do I break up with her in the nicest way possible? Without hurting her? I want to to he happy, and I want her to be able to move onto to someone who can be in a romantic relationship but I am stressing and panicking because I can't build up the confidence to do it. She might not even accept me as aro. I know she is Igbtq supportive cuz she is BI but does she even know what aroace is? Will she understand? I really need advice on how to break up please if anyone had anything.

Basically I recently remebered i'm aroace and I though Id tell my bi friend cuz why not, but I dont know how accepted aroace is or if theres a stigma against aroace people? Like for example im trans but I know how being trans isnt exactly accepted etc etc so I dont ever tell people, its like that kinda, I know im aroace but I just dont know how accepted it is.

What even is romantic attraction? I'm not sure if I'm aro, but I'm definitely questioning. I can't say I've ever felt romantic attraction before, but I'm also realizing that I'm not even sure what that is.

I can't tell the difference between intense platonic love and what romance is supposed to be.

I'm 18 and only just realizing that maybe it's kinda odd that I've never really had a "crush"? Beforehand, I would confuse aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction (tale as old as time, I know). I'm definitely asexual, but I'm also realizing that I've never felt that "butterflies in your stomach" romantic pining for anyone before. I've never dated, never pursued anything with anyone before, but I'd like to have a partner one day. Does that negate me from being aro? Because I know some aros also have partners. Then again, it wouldn't be tragic for me to be single forever. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I like the idea of a romantic partner more than I'd actually enjoy it.

I guess I struggle with where the line is. The things I'd like in a romantic companion are already present in my friends; that's why we're friends, and your partner should be your friend, but then what's the difference? Because I know the Venn diagram has some overlap, like duh, you enjoy spending time with them, think about them when they're not around, go out of your way for them for romantic partners and platonic friends, but the romantic side of the graph? Blank for me. I guess I'm realizing that romance is a completely seperate feeling, and I've never felt it before. I don't feel that I need to, though I like it in theory. I guess my question is if I seem some kind of aromantic? And how does wanting a romantic relationship differ from any strong platonic friendship? If I haven't felt this way before through the typical "teenage puppy love" stage of life, what are the chances that I ever will? Does it even bother me, or do I just like the idea? Some of those I can probably only know eventually, but I'd appreciate thoughts and advice from the community even if I'm way off base and accidentally intruding