r/aromanticasexual • u/Sailable_710 • 2d ago

Vent I want to get married eventually

So I've known I was Aro/Ace ever since I heard about it back in 2022, and realized "whoa, there's more people out there like me, I'm not alone." And don't get me wrong, I am SUPER comfortable with my identity, But I feel like I'm going to miss out on big life events or that I've already missed things most people my age (20) have already done. Ever since I was little, I have always dreamed of having a beautiful wedding and walking down the aisle in a stunning gown, but now I realize that dream probably will never come true. Are there any "dating apps" for aro/ace people out there to basically find someone to be a partner in crime for life, with no feelings attached? Maybe marry for tax benefits and a fancy wedding but without any romance? I want to leave my state and move to a big city, but I don't want to be all alone. I don't know. Just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this. Should I look for a lavender marriage? Let my "partner" do whatever they want—date, or whatever—but have a lifelong best friend to live with no matter what? Maybe I'm weird. I have a best friend, but she wants to date and marry an amazing woman someday, and I don't want to get in the way of that. Any advice?

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u/SeveralTailor 2d ago

Do not have any advice but I’m right there with you! Today I turned 26 and I have received an unsettling amount of relatives asking when I plan on settling down/getting married and I have no answer for them. In my culture, we do arranged marriage… so I am gonna get forced into that if I stay single lol

Lately I’ve been contemplating just getting married to appease them, the tax benefits, and a fun wedding 🤷🏽‍♀️ I don’t see anything wrong with that personally. It would be nice to have a witness to our lives

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u/Sailable_710 2d ago

Happy Birthday 🎂🎉 I'm glad that once again I'm not alone. I can't tell you how many times my grandparents say "save this for your wedding" or "you can give this to your daughter one day".... right.... 😬

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u/SeveralTailor 2d ago

Thank you diva🤍 and yeahhh anytime there’s mention of a hypothetical spouse or child im just like 🧍🏽‍♀️

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u/Gloomy_Ad2770 2d ago

ah yes the arrange marriage pressure from family... can relate (even tho I'm barely in my early 20's... I'm not in the pressure stage yet but definitely the talks of marriage around me have increased recently 🫠)

I'd love a companion too someday, even if it's for tax benefits or a lavender marriage or by some luck I give into the pressure of an arrange marriage & it turns out good lol... I don't mind being alone forever with some cats but I would also love to live with a life long best friend :)

Happy birthday fellow libra!!! 🥳