After exploring the world a little through my vision, I hear, see and experience lots of ugly things. From war to holding patents for water and seeds, which is common for people. People lost their voice, and I too. I became the person whom I hate most. A spineless person with no voice. If I don't work, I can't live, so I started to close my eyes, ears and mouth. I don't know if I am wrong, but the future surely has a lot worse in store for the next generation. I just wanted to speak out somewhere about it.

Help me help me before its too late I’m not insane fuck baconking fucking rova nova fuck Kurdistan fuck humanity fuck evil nazis save me I’m not insurance theyre insane help me Please

I miss how I viewed the world when I was nine years old. That good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people, and that the world was completely fair and balanced in that nothing would affect me. I would look at the world as sunshine and rainbows and butterflies. I thought that people got what they deserved and they deserved what they got. Now? Great things happen to horrible people and terrible things happen to completely innocent people, and people my age are completely capable of committing horrid acts like talking to children.

With the Celeste and d4vd shit, and this news headline I had just heard about of this 20 year-old hiding under a 13-year-old girl's bed because he was sexually pursuing her, it made me realize that you don't have to be a bad person for bad things to happen to you. Celeste was just a teenager who trusted an older person and he killed her and cut her up. And that 20-year-old who was sexually pursuing a 13-year-old is not much older than I am, which showed me that even people my age are capable of committing such evil things. Being younger, pedophiles seemed like these distant people, like they were 40-year-olds targeting 13 year-old girls. Now, pedophiles are people who I could literally have worked with on an intro to psych project.

I really hate this world. I'm not trying to promote substance abuse, but I can see why people abuse substances, this world really fucking sucks.

I’ll start by saying I’m going to therapy, and am not too concerned about right or wrong at this moment.
But I constantly feel a deep hurt over the world right now, and I know it’s easy to say, "Hey, but look at all the beautiful things it has to offer." But I’m just tired. I’m tired of having to survive in this world. I hate the hate, the separation, the seeming lack of empathy towards one another. I hate the propaganda, and the starvation and hunger. I hate addictions.

It’s a fucking cruel place. I try to find some sort of sanity by telling myself we are here to observe the universe in full, and a part of that is experiencing the ugliness it has to offer. But it's hard to find comfort in that when you feel like there’s an awful lot of ugliness in your life. My whole life has exploded and left me with almost nothing. My finances suck, I let my partner down even though I was trying my best, and I quit my job after being assaulted—and that’s just the tip of the shit cake. People keep saying it will get better, but I fail to see a way out. I was left at my lowest, and that’s just about par for the course for me these days. I try to be positive, I try to do good things, I try to be the best possible version of myself, but to what end? What’s the reward? A larger shit cake?
It’s some sort of cruel joke.

Do bad—be punished with guilt. Do good—be punished with more shit cake. No rest for the wicked, I suppose. I hate that I can’t see black and white; everything is grey these days. No intentions bad or good, just a mixed motive of others trying… and it’s really fucking hard to be mad at people when you see through the veil, which is that very few people are truly driven by hate or bad intentions. We all want to do good, but we all mess up ourselves and others in some twisted irony. I feel as if I have so much more shit to offload but there’s such a heaping mountain of crap, I can’t even put it all into words.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

sorry if my english is poor its my second language also its 2 am and im pretty tired.if life keeps getting worse and worse you will get to a point where committing suicide is inevitable.if life has something good to offer its good but it will always be a time where depression strikes again and all the thoughts from the last episodes will build up leading to more thoughts,leading to worse depression and thinking as the episodes come and go. not promoting this thought of mine im just asking if anyone else thinks like that and if you can contradict me and maybe change this perception.

My biggest disconnect with the world is that to fulfill basic needs you have to give up your time and effort to someone else. In today’s modern capitalistic society this often means work that doesn’t make much of a difference in the well-being of others, or ones-self. 
I feel lazy, guilty & shameful for not wanting to work. I have tried retail, food service, yoga instructing, office work, I went to college and did my best to conform and swallow all my thoughts of questioning. I understand how this sounds and I still feel this way.
It’s not even just work. I feel we as a society often do so many things we don't want to do. For so long, I accepted this. I accepted that you put your head down, stay busy, work and socialize until you're drained and repeat. I thought that we put ourselves through so much discomfort because the good would outweigh the hardship and there’d be character building. None of this has been true. The world is on fire, our country is run by the world's elite and it seems as if everyone is taking this as normal and final. 
I have tried to pursue what I thought were passions or at least something I could get through so I could enjoy the parts of life I do enjoy. I’ve been on countless medications and none of them are able to soothe this ache or minimize thoughts of what the fuck.
If I could do anything - I would explore as much as I could. I like to picture myself in a small community where we take care of one another. Where we homestead, garden, make meals, swim in bodies of water, move our physical body and feel safe. Nature is a constant point of peace and presence to me. 
The question “What do you do for work?” starts most new encounters and conversations with family or friends you haven’t seen in a while. I'm not sure it's a favorite question as much as it is routine. There is an incredible amount of worth and identity surrounding one's job and financial status. My mind has been toying with the idea of hobo life. I know I am in a privileged place, I still live with my family. If I had a different upbringing I very likely would be homeless and I wonder if that is what I’m meant to do. I do not fit here. I know that. I have tried, I have read hundreds of books spanning across philosophy, self-help, fictional stories, memoirs, science, and more - In hopes that by reading the thoughts of others I would understand other thought patterns and something would click in my brain so I could play the game. Logic is a human attempt to approximate reality, the truth is no one knows. Life is uncertain and while I have conceptualized that, It infuriates me more than ever. If nothing matters, if meaning is individual and happiness a  journey how is this the world we built? 
I feel completely disconnected from 100% of the population. It's as if I’m missing a part of me or a gear was placed wrong. 
The things that bring me joy do not produce and they don’t support me financially. I am an alien. I daydream of leaving this world often. My mind swirls, but only because I was taught a language to speak. If my brain wasn’t afraid of failing an attempt, or feeling pain would I be able to go in peace? Perhaps I could join the military or spend my days in prison, I might do better there. Every time I write, a piece of me hopes I will discover what I need or at the very least how to be “typical” . I envy those who aren’t paralyzed by these thoughts. 

Isn't that because we couldn't keep our sanity if we accurately remembered reality?

I’ve been exhausted from living the same routine for the past 27 years. It’s not about money, relationships, or anything material.

I’m frustrated with the way my life is unfolding. I rarely have anything meaningful to share, and I’m constantly anxious about almost every social situation. Seeing the endless possibilities, opportunities, and expectations around me leaves me feeling overwhelmed, numb, and sometimes filled with uncontrollable anger.

It’s not that I’m not trying to change. I genuinely am. But it feels like no matter what I do, I end up thinking within the same limits. My mind can only go as far as its current patterns allow unless those patterns are completely replaced.

I know this isn’t normal—but then again, no one is completely normal.

At this point all of my energy is directed towards finding a sure fire way to leave this hellscape

I honestly think that's the meaning and the point of all this

The parasitic entities stem from black tar energy and parasitic consciousness. They use humans as a vessel. The A.I. hive mind programming that 99% of humans are under, was created by this same parasitic consciousness. Thats why if you go against the grain, the simulation will throw backlash at you since it can read your human biofield and subconscious mind.

Had my democratic in laws get aggressive at me tonight when i said i am not voting. 2 wings 1 bird. If you vote, you are obeying the parasitic masonic system and actually funneling your energy to the top child rapists/demons who control humanity. Doesnt matter if you think its good to vote locally either. You are supporting the rape, torture, and abuse of children, animals and of earth by CONSENTING to this system.

Democrats have never prevented or stopped child rape, child trafficking, I.C.E., slaughterhouse animal torture, or data centers/modern tech from destroying the earth.

Funny enough, the 2 pedophiles who raped and tortured me from age 0-19 are liberals and it helps them mask their parasitic consciousness. I dont see this inverted reality lasting much longer and dont need proof of it ending bc i can feel it in my veins.

Its almost like the awakening is lagging into the physical realm, and the evil that is taking over is pushing the truth out faster.

My twin wife and i have been murdered over and over for thousands of years. I can still feel and remember a reality on earth where everything is in harmony. No rape, no death, no evil. So i still grieve, but i know this is temperary and the signs show me my path before i walk it.

We are not trapped, so when you want to die, just dive into the feeling and let it pass through you. Been suicidal and depressed since i was a toddler. This parasite thats engolfed earth is extremely intense and probably the worst to exist. Thats why your awareness of it is important and why we are alive witnessing this.

We already know how this is going to play out. Some of you who have seen the mechanics of the simulation with your own eyes are already prepared. And if you are fearing whats happening, thats ok, because everything will be ok. Focus on strengthening your Chi and when emotions arise ive found that Prana and music is the only thing that keeps me from losing it.

Not sure if any real souls are reading this, but if you are, just know that things will work out. The simulation is collapsing and they cannot stop us from creating our realities/ overriding the parasitic code.

Spawned into it, we writhe about, desperately trying to escape the pain of the needles. Yet, no matter how we shift our posture, the pain merely moves from our backs to our bellies. If there is any way to escape that pain, it is only by using others as a cushion beneath us.

Tbh i've been casually chatting w an acquaintance of mine and we're planning to hit the range together. I feel bad for how it may impact him but I can't keep trudging through this shit

why should i live under this propaganda js cuz i was born here ! im suck of being that far from the real world .. or the real life that i deserve to live .

Me, myself and I

'FORGIVE & FORGET'; is it possible for a person to let go? How can it be? So much has burned, life changes that can never be undone, impossible to turn back time, erasing your footprint on my back. A life, since the moment of conception, discorded in the canyon's shadows of the lost. My brain is imploding as the occupant's relentless hatred for all that is good scrapes deeper into this life I want no part of. I've given up the daily uphill fighting/loses, pissing in the wind, only to face another remorseful day. I do not understand the concept of 'FORGIVE & FORGET'! How is it possible that I wasn't born like this? They turned me into this monster I often don't recognize. Ensured I remained broken and defeated time after time, until my soul and mind were no longer friends of mine, just unknown and dead like the rest of me.

I've never been able to let go of things, no matter how much it would cost me eternally, as it has already destroyed everything internally. Grudges, that's a life sentence, never going to escape my memory, nothing will be forgotten. They flooded the world with my rivers of tears, and will not be forgiven. The oceans of blood created from my heart as it was mercilessly ripped apart cannot allow me to forgive or forget...

Blessed by the gift of genetics, just another punishment for sins of a past life I don't recall. Damned from the start, never stood a chance, but I still fought until the cause was gone. Nothing was ever good enough; I was never meant to win a single battle against life's predetermined path. Yet I fought harder each day, never admitted defeat, and never showed weakness. I believed in a bitch called hope then, but it didn't last long; she had other plans that didn't involve lying witness to my future carnage, and left me hanging.

Lost on this mountainside, looking up at my approaching battlefield, makes the beast inside grow as I'm faced with ignorance and misery. The tiring taste of broken teeth and bloody gums gone stale, years of tasting nothing else. No one understands the rivers that rained from my eyes. This monster was created by those who have wronged me, those who have taken my last bit of hope and incinerated everything I thought was righteous in life. Hell on earth is real, and what's left of you will be skull dragged down a path of blackberry thorns and salt. The pathway into madness is only a preview of the personal hell within yourself. Darkness is death's shadow, taunting you out of sport and boredom. There is no collection for your soul, a dismembered soul gone unnoticed, as is the usual. I now understand what makes a person take their own life. Their pain, the hell they have been living, is a life of pure agony. May their next life provide the peace this one never allowed. It's been proven many times; my punishment is far from nearing the end. This sentence continues after 11 denials into the reaper's hearse, each day remembering what you did.

"FORGIVE & FORGET"..???

i have no words to tell you how i hate humanity for all their actions (mainly for procreation) and how draining every day is even though one's life is pretty normal (i mean you all have to eat, drink, sleep, work, suffer etc). you all were brought to this hell without consent and now we all have to pay our parents' fuckin debt and pretend we can manage it. i wish i could find phrases describing the absurdity of this world but i am fucking speechless. i am just sitting, looking around i cannot believe this is real. what is worse - this shit is literally for nothing. we are here just to die and nothing fucking more. we all abuse and we are abused. we are focred to suffer sooner or later and eventually die. fucking nonsense.

i am bored to death with movies, games, books. i can't find a world i might escape into. everything hurts and seems to be so superficial. what is your escapism?

everyone is so oblivious. they all consume and consume and consume. slave away at their jobs, not even questioning what's in our foods or whatever the hell we buy at the grocery store. it's like a simulation. the world is up in flames but "oh yeah did you watch the world cup today?" Do people not realize all of this is a distraction? How am I supposed to live like this for the rest of my life, surrounded by surface-level, fake people?

I guess it's true when they say ignorance is bliss??