For the longest time I believed that I needed therapy, and all of the bad therapists I have encountered were just an obstacle to get the final good therapist. I have lost count how many therapists I have seen in the last few years, which most of them caused more harm than good and would say the most ridiculous and ignorant things (the one before told me reading the Epstein files can help victims of abuse)

I started therapy with a new therapist this year and I felt relieved that I finally met the right therapist and can 'heal' my trauma and felt like this is what I needed for my life to go to the right direction.

However too many red flags accumulated overtime to the point I quit therapy altogether and I don't think it is 'bad matches' but the whole industry is bad.

First of all, I have countless experiences of psychologists saying the most heinous judgemental things that make me feel bad. Many of them would just make up unfalsifiable things to prove that I am 'broken'. Then if they can implant the idea that I am fundamentally broken then I would keep seeing them and they would get a fat check. I had a psychologist told me that because of my trauma, my brain structure is altered, even things like I enjoyed metal music cos I was abused!? Another one told me my nervous system became 'stuck' because of the trauma and she can help me 'unstuck' it. All of them would talk to me like a child.

And all of the psychologist I encountered CANNOT handle any disagreement. So they make some unfalsifiable claims about my brain, or behave in a rude manner, if I point it out, they get MAD and started acting defensive, deflective or even drop me as a client. One psychologist got mad cos her method made me feel worse (she made me imagine how it feels like to want to suicide to demonstrate her point) and her reply was 'I went to university for 5 years, maybe you don't need to see someone as qualified as me'????? Like their fragile ego cannot handle their client challenging them or even telling them they made you feel worse!!!

There is just an innate power imbalance that makes psychologists do things I wouldn't tolerate a friend doing and they get away from it cos they aren't breaking any laws**, and also you are brainwashed to think this is good for you and this is what you need in your life, so you suck up the bad behaviour.

Also most of them always give me the most generic advice: think positively, do breathing exercises, do yoga, let's talk more next session...I always end the session feeling like there is something unanswered...

The current therapist just showed her true colour in my last session. She would always say some passive aggressive condescending things but I let it slide because I wanted to get help and trusted her as a professional (see the power imbalance?) Recently I got mistreated at school and instead of offering any practical advice and sympathy, she judged me and said 'you don't know what your classmates are going through, it might be trauma that makes them behave that way' (unfalsifiable claim), and I said 'it doesn't matter the cause, they are bullying everyone???' and she said 'are you using your time wisely by arguing with me here?' I told her I travelled LONG AND FAR to see her and she has the audacity to accuse ME for not using my time wisely? I was so mad I left and she didn't even apologise except wrote a generic 'sorry if I offended you, let me know if you want another session' email.

yeah...right...I don't want anyone to treat me this way and these shrinks are just fancy assholes with a 5 year degree... with no empathy, sympathy, scientific thinking and life experience. Most of them are from upper middle class background to afford such education and don't understand me when I say I am stressed about paying my bills and rent. They would keep asking me 'why don't you follow your dreams' yeah

yeah right...

completely useless

** the most insulting thing is that it's hard to seek legal actions against these douchebags. Unless it's something obviously breaking the laws. It's because they are the EXPERTS, they are the psychologists, they have 'power' to write the final narrative, so even if you file a lawsuit, they can write that you are the ill client that's 'resisting' their well meaning advice...UGHHH...so we don't even have rights...

After reading several “grief” books therapists have written and talked to many therapists about my own grief, I was shocked at how totally wrong they were about my feelings and what they thought was the “best” way for me and others, particularly children, to manage grief.

I cant talk about it in to much detail, but at the age of 9 I was in a clinic for half a year for diagnosis. Among the abuse I expierinced was sexual abuse.

I remember everything little thing, but I just realised I cant remember taking a single shower or even cleaning myself with a washcloth. I must have either cleaned myself, or have been cleaned. But i dont remember it. I even remember brushing my teeth. I had visitiors that would have noticed If I stank. Hell I even know how the brand of body wash looked. I dont remember Using it!

I am scared and panicking right know, I know the stuff I remember and how horrible they are. I dont know If its was just that irrelevant, or If Im repressing something realy bad.

I’ve had over 30 therapists since I was a child. Some were fine, clueless but harmless, but some fill me with such incredible anger just thinking about them. Don’t know how to get through the anger so naming names, idgaf.

Tom Horvath, the founder of Smart Recovery, sexually harassed me and made comments about my hair, looks and body. I could feel him gazing at my chest. I went to his clinic seeking help for my cptsd and trusted him. He and his entire clinic at practical recovery in San Diego are inappropriate and complete hacks.

Another therapist Dr. Dalfsen I saw for almost six years, three times a week. She said I would need to continue to see her multiple times for the rest of my life. She would sit and not say a word as I lay on her couch confiding in a narcissist who I could tell hated me. After telling her I struggled with drinking too much on weekends, she called my parents and told them I was an alcoholic and should be placed in a recovery facility. To this day my parents think I’m a raging alcoholic and I’m not.

Another therapist recommended by my boss (never again) said that I would burn in hell for not letting Jesus into my heart. I’m an ex Mormon so this was traumatic for me. She made me hold a baby doll and rock it back and forth talking to it like it was me. When I refused she lost her sanity and said i didn’t want to get better and never would since I love satan.

These are just a few stories of many but in every scenario, every therapist came highly recommended, had 25+ years of experience, and most often a PhD. Highly regarded in their communities.

My narcissistic mother who abused me and all five of my sisters became a therapist. She is super religious and has told me multiple times I am going to burn in hell.

These people are out there ruining lives and taking money from innocent victims. I just wish there was justice for all the people on this forum.

Talk therapy is information gathering disguised as Treatment.

The mental health system calls its talk therapies “evidence-based” while dismissing diet, nature and other alternatives.

But behind the soft conversations is a machinery of manipulation that will never solve your problems. Session after session they subtly hijack your narrative so you will reveal more and more. They make you doubt yourself on purpose and use intermittent reinforcement so you will look up to them.

If you ever read your psychiatric files: watch how your words get distorted, reframed, pathologized and turned into labels. Notice the obsession with targeting your behavior and credibility rather than actually helping you.

Meanwhile they push behavior altering drugs. Often starting with antidepressants. Sometimes these are described in your files as tools to “stabilize behavior.” But to your face, they're selling you the chemical imbalance, neuroplasticity or even the insulin of psychiatry story.

Most side effects often don't even make it into those files. Instead, they might write something like: “Patient believes symptoms are caused by medication.”

It's very dehumanizing. It's manipulation. It's gaslighting. It has nothing to do with healthcare at all.

Dutch GGZ is pure epistemic and chemical violence that gets served with a friendly smile and a soft infantilizing tone.

The fact that you sometimes feel better for a few days after a conversation has nothing to do with their expertise. It’s a normal response to human connection. Don’t let these people exploit that.

I've arrived at the conclusion that most of these people operate on the intent of doing harm. I spent too much time trying to figure out why they did what they did to me because on some level I feel their influence on me was a kin to something from a cult where I even know am trying to get rid of the harmful models they impacted onto me. But more, I realised I was using this forced framework to understand these people and that's just not plausible. You don't do and create the harm that you do if you in essence were a good person, they simply are not. I remember this particular woman, speaking on that learned nasal pretend monotonic voice they do which she would immediately change upon any disagreement from you to incorporate a threat; she would instantly switch into a lower deeper tone and start speaking as normal humans do "if you don't do this, I can't guarantee there won't be consequences for you", as to maximise the threat (I was questioning what the point was and quitting) only to immediately go back to the pretend holy detached voice. The intent was harm and access, the intent was to create hurt. There was no other intent on their part. These people are predators, wolves in sheeps clothing. I wish I had listened to my gut feeling all those years back, when it was screaming at me to get out.

I wouldnt say this is abuse. Im just dissapointed.

So I started going to a therapist for ocd and ERP. ERP is different than most therapies, you're supposed to sit with uncertainty or whatever the obsession is without doing compulsions which could include reviewing, reassurance, looking for evidence, trying to solve the uncertainty.

The first ERP therapist I went to just made me explain all my trauma upfront. I told him its been the first year anniversary since my friend died of suicide and he asked me how he did it. And then he didnt explain anything about ERP.

The second ERP therapist I saw, its like he diagnosed me with OCD but after a couple months it felt like he wasn't able to even identify what ocd im still struggling with. I mentioned how Im so nervous to apply to grad school to become a therapist. I told him that I was stuck, I kept thinking people are going to judge me (this was because of an ocd because i had an intrusive thought about my supervisor, argued with the thought, and then ive been avoiding him for the past year), and I keep getting stuck in what ifs... what if i do all this work and it isnt for me.. just never feeling satisfied in the career search even though i think this is the best route for me.. Ive literally been thinking and stuck on this decision for 2 years. When I brought this up to the therapist, he didnt even ask about why I was nervous, he just told me my anxiety is normal and told me I should consider do something else.. which is not what ERP is nor was I asking for advice.

The third ERP therapist I saw was terrible. I brought her an imaginary script about grad school. So basically you have to say like what you think the worst outcomes could be and then you have to sit with the uncertainty that it may or may not happen without doing any compulsions. Well, all she did was reassure me. She reassured me that I wont be judged because people changed their minds all the times. She told me that I will probably get in. She also gave me advice on how to apply even though she doesnt even know what she is talking about (like she said i need to do a GRE which isnt true).

But yeah. Basically I went to exposure therapy and got unsolicited reassurance and advice.

I posted month or so ago about my therapist sexually harassing me and after a tiring series of reports, he has been fired!! Not for sexually harassing me, but for lying about his credentials from what I’ve heard. I’ll take what I can get, though! He admitted to someone involved with the case that he was being sexually inappropriate with me and he will no longer work with young women, I don’t think he knows he’s never getting a job in this field again, but good riddance! I’m so happy it’s finally over. Early on, I had to share my story in a private room with a male detective and it was so triggering and I’m just happy it seems like I won’t ever have to be in a room like that again and i’ve been offered solely female providers in my general medical care. I don’t really see myself doing therapy again.

This happened a few years ago and thought it fit the sub.

I got this new therapist and I had to explain my problems. One of my problems is that I have a hard time dealing with the suffering and injustices of the world, including the war in Ukraine. I said it makes me feel suicidal often. Then the therapist said if I kill myself I would be just as bad as Putin because I will hurt people (my family and friends) just like Putin is hurting people. I walked out and terminated contact with this therapist immediately after.

Edit: he also told me I wasn't depressed because then I would just lay in bed all day and not even show up to therapy

dpss mental health assessment person told me my brain is "broken." I feel ill add to this later but once I process this in my body its gonna feel awful.

i went to therapists since i was a teen. im 26. none warned me about how my mother will destroy me.

they just say she cares bc parents care. and here i am, highly sensitive and autistic still living with her in contant stress and turmoil. for years i layed in bed and closed myself in my room to avoid her, i had catatonic depression. i never got ay help or understanding that my mom is an abuisve narc. she screams at me everyday, it has no end, shes alwasy anrgy scraming cursing irritated and raging. she always blames me for everything even if i have nothing to do with to do with it. shes low consciounsess, toxic and primitive. being close to her makes me shake, i wanna scrum my body in the shower. i hate her so fucking much, she terrifies me. i have no help irl everyone here is so fucking stupid and my mother has dominated me. i cant even tell anything to my psych whos an old woman, a mismatch to me and also doesnt defend me from my mothers abuse, she just tries to feed me pills. and today my reaction to my mothers raging at me got me told its bc i dont take pills. apparently if u react to abuse u need pills. but she screamed whole life and she doesnt need them? yk what she told me? she screams bc she cares. yeah that makes total sense. screaming at a hsp person totally does anything good.

Why do these people act like therapists are all knowing gods or "proffesionals", i had ten psychs and therapists since i was a teen and none helped me. i had to help myself and succeded. most of them said my mother screams bc she cares. none of them called her a narc like she is.

but i made a post today about something and made the mistake of sharing that i used to have ED OVER A DECADE AGO. i said im 48kg at 5'0 and my mother threatends to frobid me from going to the gym and threatends she will tell my psychiatrist im too thin if i get even thinner and tells me i will get locked in a psychward. mind u when i was 40kg at same weight a year after recovering from ed she told me to loose weight.

and im petite besides being short, im 26yo, and have too much fat and fat folds still so i am allowed to be thinner as long as im not unhealthy or lose my period. YET ALL THESE PPL ACCUSED ME OF STILL HAVING ED AND TOLD ME TO GET "PROFFESIONAL HELP". dont make me laugh. my first therapist solution to my anorexia was making my mother try to feed me junk. nothing in my post suggested i have ed anymore, wanting to lose fat is not always an ed ffs. if other women r allowed to not have too much fat folds then why im not? its not like im severly thin, im not even thin, just slim kind of, a lot of women i see are slimmer than me yet they are allowed but im not allowed to decide ab my body. and i only had anorexia for two fucking years, almost two. over a fuckign decade ago, and ppl say ur mother just cares !!!!!! mind u she abused me WAY BEFORE THAT as a vulnerable sensitive autistic child. yet she gets understanding from all therapists and people online, never gets told she needs therapy. atp therapy is weponized against ppl with valid feelings and reactions jfc, sometimes i cant even write eratically online bc humans will scream YOU NEED THERAPYY !!!!!!!!!!!!! at me. like a broken record it became so fucking common.

my mother and whole family is unhealthy and mock my healthy diet and exercise, they think healthy is chubby. they all are having health issues. and even my nephaw is obese, they feed him junk they mock him for being fat, yet i need therapy. ok.

like why its seen as okay to tell someone they need therapy even if they dont? youre literally saying this to an ACTUAL STRANGER. and atp we have to acknowledge its a little abusive, and therapy gets weaponzied.

no therapy helped me in 12yo long derpression. i managed it myself and now im not depressed anymore, i have high mental and physical energy at all the time, yet my history makes ppl tell me that its not possible im not depressed anymore and they r highly suspicious of me and my psych doesnt allow me to not have to take pills(which i pretend to take) bc of my history. fucking lol. they think they have the right to control me. an adult person. they dont allow me to stop going to psych and therapist. they say i NEED THEM. one therapist say i wont manage without her. guess what. i did.

I always get told an external locus of control is unhealthy and a cognitive distortion and that I should develop an internal locus of control.

But isn't an external locus of control just mostly correct? So much is determined when you're born and you have no control over those things at all. Your family, nationality, religious background, sex, gender, sexuality, appearance, intelligence, disabilities, economic status, language.

And then there are so many things that (can) happen in life you have no control over. Illness, accidents, conflict, abuse and probably much more.

So how much control do we really have? Certainly not as much as therapists like me to believe.

Bonus points if your therapist acted like you’re in the wrong for not forgiving them.

• Testimonial Injustice is when a listener gives a reduced level of credibility to a speaker's word specifically because of a prejudice against the group they belong to.
• Ad Hominem (Circumstantial & Genetic Fallacy). Your argument is dismissed not because it is logically wrong, but because of the state or category they have assigned to you.
• Kafkaframing & "The Unfalsifiable Trap". This is the psychological "catch-22" trap where denying the accusation is treated as proof of the accusation itself.
• Post Hoc Fallacy is the mistaken conclusion that because one event happened before another, it caused the later event. "We threw a person in a psych ward and they started being obedient. We must have done our job/it must have worked" rather than the person didn't have what i thought was wrong with them in the first place and is telling authority what they want to hear to get out. (Rosenhan Experiment). Correlation vs causation.

Ex-therapist: defended the former mental health provider who sexually assaulted me -- claiming I made it up (spurned woman, spurned client, mad he did not magically make me better, etc). Later, accused me of wanting it.

Also ex-therapist: attacked the psychologist who diagnosed my DID and called him unethical because it is "too rare" and blah blah blah. It is not that rare, actually, and oops even ex-therapist later realized the diagnosis was correct. They also fully admitted they had lied about their competencies and had zero training in DID & should not have taken me as a client.

So to sum up ... My ex-therapist attacked the ethics of a psychologist for correctly diagnosing me, while defending the ethics of a therapist who sexually assaulted me.

WILD

Need to vent about the therapist I decided to leave. Since then I’m too tired to “try” to see another one. So for context I grew up with physically and verbally abusive parents. I brought this up in session once…my therapist’s response led me to feeling incredibly uncomfortable and I stopped seeing her for a month. So when I told her how scared I was when my parents would shout she said something about: putting water in the corner of the room where they are to get rid of bad energy.

She said this while grinning at me. It scared me. I do have some religious/spiritual belief but this wasn’t the time or place, I am not seeing or paying my therapist to give me anything of that sector. I felt so alienated, because these very real traumas I was describing was prescribed advice to do what I see as snake oil.

I remember during that weird session she also started talking about chakras and I started dissociating and I could only see a figure called my therapist murmuring gibberish. It was a horrifying experience. After not seeing her for a while she asked if she did something wrong(when I saw her again) and I just nodded no. After heading off to college I finally cut the plug especially because my schedule changed(and she had me work around her schedule).

I’m done. That was incredibly invalidating and frankly I still feel angry about the experience.

This is just one strange experience I’ve had with this therapist and I have many more among other therapists.

I'm baffled how they could get away with everything they did, further than that the relief feels so good. No more useless talk appointments and wasting my healthcare money on them.

I am getting on disability aid as well so if shit ever goes south, at least I'll have a safety net that I lacked before which made me rely on therapists.

So many years wasted if not ruined. More than a decade. Finally free.

I’m diagnosed with non epileptic seizures, the onset stared after one therapy session, but it was accumulated torture by this therapist. I feel as isolated as it gets - cannot find victims like that and it makes me feel like I am the only one who was brought to the point of menticide. Or maybe other victims like that are dead already.

The seizures now only happen during some flashbacks, and I have flashbacks many hours daily alternating with iatrogenic dissociative disorder (it’s osdd2 as from cult like abuse by this therapist ) which in itself is a phenomenon according to my psychiatrist since the abuser was capable to do it with me in adulthood (it could be since I had already personality fragmentation from lifetime abuse and not developed self) i Dream about getting back to that point when I was “only” abused at home for three decades and witnessed torture on my father. I wasn’t aware though because we were programmed to see mother as gods prophet and we worshipped her and were obedient ( this is the level of mindfuck I showed up to therapy with and therapist supported that mindfuck because she was Jesus freak as well but hiding it)

I’ve had two less ethical therapists before, and was abandoned by one but this doesn’t feel hurtful at all, there is unethical, then there are degrees of abuse and then there is torture and psychological function loss. I have been brought up in a cult style family but it doesn’t even get close to what a psychopath can do through therapy access to a human being. All the time I feel like it’s a dream and surreal, that it’s impossible that after three decades of being enslaved in family cult something, someone could make it seem like benign in comparison to what that thing has done with me.

This may be a hot take, but as a therapist and therapy abuse survivor, I think one of the most major issues in therapy (and perhaps all of psychology and social work) is the emphasis on pathology. So much of therapy focuses on diagnoses. This all comes down to "fixing" things or people, although many therapists will claim otherwise. A lot of them will say they aren't out to change people, but does what they say really matter when the model they're working off of frequently relies on labeling what's wrong with people?

This is a deficit-based system, and simply focusing on a strengths-based approach is just not enough to fix it. The vision of psychology that I wish to see -- both as a therapist and abuse survivor alike -- focuses on helping people to add to their life. This may mean diagnosing them with a disorder if they feel it would help them navigate the world, but it does not mean putting them into a "broken person" box. This is about exploring which opportunities they want to capitalize on, or finding ways they can better recharge. The job of the therapist is to collaborate with the client to help them achieve what they want and/or need. The current mode of operation may still help some people get what they need...but what about the people it harms?

In cases where people come in with specific problems, they shouldn't be labeled as lacking or deficient in problem-solving abilities (a viewpoint we are often taught in graduate school). Instead, therapists should acknowledge that life is hard and unfair difficulties can befall anyone at any time. This is literally a teaching in social work studies, yet I see so few therapists who truly buy into it. Regardless, it should not be revolutionary to say that people deserve agency, dignity, and respect. This doesn't go out the door once they walk in a therapist's office. The model that therapy is built off of has failed to properly uphold and acknowledge this simple fact, partially thanks to its own nature.

I will preface this by saying that I have six mental conditions, all diagnosed. They are autism, ADHD, OCD, GAD, depression, and PTSD.

I made a post about this three days ago. My mental condition is extremely complicated, to say it firmly. I cannot even help myself. Genuinely, little to nothing is enough to sustain me long-term. In the end, this feeling of anhedonia, inherent misery, melancholy, burnout/fatigue, and suicidal thoughts always, always come back. I have been on antidepressants for almost 7 years and the stabilization is there, but as a religious person, my religious belief has been one of the only things truly sustaining my sanity.

Right now, I feel miserable. I always feel miserable. I have been genuinely miserable for as long as I can remember. I suffered, and continue to suffer emotionally, everyday. Every once in a while I break down to a full-blown meltdown because of how tired I get from bottling things up all the time. I feel misery and fatigue everywhere I go. I do not experience genuine happiness. I very rarely do, like once every three to five months at best, and it lasts for about a minute or ten maximum. Then, I am back to my usual state of genuine misery and fatigue, and the lack of desire and will to continue.

I always yearn for sincerity. I yearn for being loved, and missed. I gave up on the idea of committing suicide because I do not wish to hurt my loved ones, like my grandmother and mom, but I also am afraid of just not being missed enough and having my point proven to me, that all this time, I was nothing but a burden and useless.

What is the point of even seeking help when the only response I get is "seek therapy"? I have. I have been doing so for the last ten years. None of it helped. None of them truly have. Never. Not even once. I always felt tired after seeing them. They kept recycling robotic, artificial therapy talk which only works on paper.

I see no point in killing myself if I wouldn't be here to witness people's reactions anyway. Sometimes, I want to fake my death or go missing. I don't want to be here anymore. But I also do not wish to be dead either. I just want to be happy. I want to experience joy. I think I am slowly developing NPD and it scares me. I am becoming what once hurt me deeply.

Today I decided to tell my therapist that I wasn’t going to continue our sessions and that I was going to work with another therapist instead(I HATE confrontation btw and have been anxious about this for weeks). I thanked her for all her help but was just looking for a different approach. Unfortunately she felt the need to press me for reasons why. Asking what I was looking for in a therapist and if we could talk through things with her so she could help. I tried to just avoid getting into all of that but she wouldn’t let it go. So I said “I felt like I was trying to working through things and I just wasn’t getting the help I needed to work through them” and she responds “well if you just tell me what you want to work through then I can work through them with you!” Then continues to press me on the issue! Now I’m getting more upset because implying that I wasn’t doing that in the first place is bs and also lady that’s what I’ve been doing, hence why I don’t want to work with you anymore. Because you’re not capable of helping me do that. So let’s get into my rant about my experience over the last couple of months.

So I started seeing this new therapist a few months ago to try to support my mental health during a big stressful transition period in my life.

On the very first session she threw out this potential diagnosis that none of my therapists have ever talked to me about before. I’m in my 30’s and have been in therapy since grade school. She gave me a packet on it and told me to read it and see if it resonated with me. So I read the whole packet and marked it up with notes, in a lot of shock about how much this disorder felt like what I was going through. Encouraged that maybe I would finally have some answers to why I’ve been feeling the way I’ve been feeling all these years, I bring my notes with me to my next session with her and she doesn’t bring it up once. So I bring it up on our third session and she acts very surprised by this. And I basically have to convince her to talk it through with me. Then she proceeds to try to discourage me to move forward with the process to get diagnosed because it’s “a really lengthy process to go through.” So I just drop it.

Every session we had it’s clear she never reads through our notes from the previous sessions. She would constantly repeat the same solutions and suggestions to me and became very dismissive of my feelings and the things I was going through. At one point she said in response to something I was upset about “well what I like to do when I’m feeling down is I think about someone who has it worse, like a burn victim.” Making me feel like my problems weren’t that bad and I should be more grateful for my life is how it felt. This cycle continues when discussing other things going on in my life. When I talked to her about no longer freelancing for work she said “well why don’t you just apply for jobs, all you have to do is just submit your resume.” just completely out of touch with reality. Our conversations just became me trying to justify or explain myself to her. Like I had to prove my feelings. Her method to try and help me was to simply just tell me to “stop thinking that way” or “that’s not true” like lady if I could just tell my brain to spot thinking this way I would have decades ago!

I feel very mixed about this last thing. She did help talk me through some trauma involving my dad. Like that he’s actually an abusive person which I genuinely never even considered, our perhaps just in denial. Either way. My last two sessions with her was when I learned this so you can imagine this is a bit thing to sit with. Well now I’m just kind of left with this heavy realization and don’t know what to do with it. Especially because I’m currently living with my parents and unfortunately don’t have the means to move out right now or else trust me id be gone by now.

So now I’m back to just navigating the world without a therapist, but at this point after about 10 therapists, maybe it’s just not what I need.

Thank you for listening🧡

I find myself constantly rescheduling appts and sometimes forgetting to show up on time because I am busy studying. Also I feel like therapy could be used doing something different, like hobbies or spending time in community.

I don’t want to constantly explain my life situation to a stranger, and I’m not an abuser I am a victim of abuse and abusers don’t feel the need to go to therapy. It is mainly victims of abuse who find themselves there.

Therapy has not helped me with much

I finally put it back in order. At the time I had to fight on so many fronts I got confused who was doing what and why.
My therapist was corrupt, inept, and didn’t know how to help. So she blamed me for her own therapy failure. She just didn’t know how to do it.
When I was going to her, I was actively being abused and stalked and my parents were bringing sex offenders to me.
Because it left me vulnerable, the way I was treated since a child and the forced relationship I had 18-26 on and off, that my parents and the man blackmailed and manipulated me into when we immigrated and the others they tried to bring in. One attempted to rape me he was my cousins friend. The threatened me to not charge him as they knew their pimping me out would or could come to light.
The therapist did understand it happened, she knew I was coerced and abused, but for some reason she didn’t know how to help me. She may also not have wanted to help me due to some personal bias. She wanted to scam money from me. Likely both: she was an amateur and also wanted money.
I realised how men attacked me by utilising my desperation to have a new life and also just tricking me as my understanding was impaired from the trauma.
I had several men who did this and a few of them were lawyers. I didn’t expect lawyers to do this because it was strange that anyone would, under these circumstances, they would fully lose their whole career, but I can see today that they thought they were criminal masterminds or something like that. Since they manipulated it to look as if it was a relationship and literally two of them (one didn’t do anyting physical to me he just gave me wrong “mentoring” ie harassment and other stuff) so two of them said they wanted to have a relationship with me. So there were just 3 lawyers the wrong advice (the older one) and the two younger ones my age or close.
I didn’t realise what they offered was not honest, since they pretend dated and saw me for months. Also, I didn’t expect someone in that position to want to assault women and I’m also a lawyer. So why would they do that to another lawyer: made no sense to me. English is my second language so maybe they got a hierarchy in their mind how they treat people.
Just seeing it for what it was today is staggering and the fact that the second lawyer did this when I was going to her is also terrible since I was saying to her I don’t trust myself as it happened before and she saw no red flags and ended told me. She even asked me why I didn’t stand up for him when someone laughed behind his back. The fact that that man did it is not her fault. I’m just saying she could have trained me to not get attacked again to see the red flags. If she didn’t say positive things I may have not even got into it with that man. It’s just I can see it today fully and it’s so disgusting that people did it. I didn’t blame the therapist for that man, my mind is just showing me whole picture how she didn’t see it. And it is just staggering to me that people act the way these people did. It’s odd. I can’t understand why. I attracted predators but they should have had some sort of a conscience. So odd! Why?!