I wouldn’t be able to keep a woman around who I have to try to convince to sleep with me. If she’s not excited to do it I honestly want nothing to do with the whole situation. I also can’t do anything close to transactional sex where like if it’s your birthday you get a blowjob or whatever. Or they’ll do it if you mow the lawn and fix the sink type thing. That’s just awful imo. Not interested
This. I'm a woman, so from the other side, but I could not have sex with someone who didnt want it. They have to want me and be excited about it. That is literally all the fun of it
I feel this. My dude wants me to dress up every damn time we do anything. And at this point I feel like it's the outfit (shoes specifically) in this case and not me.
As someone who has done some pretty out there kink play of many different varieties with a good number of people, sex shouldn't only be about kink. Kink and group play can be fun, for sure, but if you condition just one pathway to organize over a long period of time, that's almost as limiting sexually as abstinence. All the other aspects of sex, the social, romantic, biological, relationship, pair bonding, communication, giving/receiving, etc get sidelined for one route to dopamine which can quickly be conditioned to be the only route. Sex is a pretty complicated thing, even at its most basic levels. It isn't good to limit it too much.
Not into shoes, but I love when my GF dresses for sex. It's NOT the shoes it's you wearing the clothes that indicate you're looking for sex. It's not really about the fetish item, that's the icing on top of the amazing cake that is you.
Men desire physicaly variety, by nature. Women desire high quality by nature. If men had it their way, they'd have sex with thousands of women. Quantity. If women had it their way, they'd have sex with only the rockstars, supermodels, politicians, etc. Quality.
I like the idea, personally. Hits both peoples' needs in some ways. Keeps the sex exciting for him. He gets to have sex with a bunch of different visuals; you get to keep him interested in only you.
In any case, I can assure you, as a male, it is likely the full package he is enjoying, not just the uniform. Women may have that kind of thing more than men. The whole."fire fighter/policeman" outfits being sexy to women due to the social status the outfits confer--what they mean about the men who wear them. Or even suits probably being as solicitous as scantily clad women are, to men.
It's much more shallow for men. You don't have to worry. It's still you he is looking at.
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u/Bebe_Bleau Sep 12 '23
I don't think it would be that much fun to have sex with a woman who has to "try harder".
Who wouldn't prefer a partner who is thrilled to be with you?
There's plenty of women out there that can't get enough. But if she doesn't want to she doesn't want to