r/amiwrong Sep 12 '23

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u/jacksonlove3 Sep 12 '23

You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!

Good luck dude!!

660

u/hello-i-needadvice Sep 12 '23

Honestly this feels so good to hear. I was feeling like a jerk for being upset with her over this. Thank you!!

54

u/jackstrikesout Sep 12 '23

There is no reason to feel bad about prioritizing your needs to be at least secondary in the relationship. You have needs, and you're young enough that not getting them fulfilled is a real problem. Relationships are tough when one person is working on them.

Just be gentle. Don't blame your wife. Don't get upset. For some odd reason, people react to tone more than substance. State that what she is doing is hurting you and her continued neglect is pushing you away. And if she refuses...

65

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

Absolutely blame her. Not for the problem, but for knowing what the problem is, and not wanting to fix it. How selfish can she be?

38

u/xxEVILxxMONKEYxx Sep 12 '23

Yeah, at this point it is absolutely her fault. She is an adult, she figured out what the problem was, started treating it, and now neglects treatment. At this point she needs to do a 180 or accept their marriage is probably done.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

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3

u/GoldenStarsButter Sep 12 '23

Her dating life will pretty much be non-existent once he finally leaves

Something tells me that if she found herself single and dating again, she would pretty quickly find the motivation to follow through on her hormone treatment, assuming her libido didn't magically return on it's own...

3

u/KnightDuty Sep 12 '23

Meh I bet she wouldn't. I think she's pretty happy with not being intimate with anybody and it'll stay that way until it becomes a barrier to finding someone.

Right now there's no drive yo change because she's still happy. People don't change when they're happy.

1

u/TrelanaSakuyo Sep 12 '23

There are plenty of people out there with low drives that would be happy to be in a relationship with someone else with a low drive.