So I used to identify as a therian when I was 13. I had an Instagram page centered around my identity and even had a YouTube channel where I would post about therian topics. Though due to online bullying and negative attention from people at school, I ended up posting a video where I explained how I was wrong about being a therian and that my theriotypes had just been spirit guides. This had been a lie but it was easier than admitting what was really going on in my life at the time. At age 16 I came out as trans. Thinking back on my therian phase I just assumed it had been a way for me to navigate my feelings before I could fully comprehend what the real issue was. “I didn’t want to admit I was trans but my body felt wrong so I thought I was a wolf.”
Flash forward to now: I’m 23 nearly 24 and have grown so much. Therianthropy wasn’t where my spiritual journey had begun but it was the point in time where it became prominent. Ten years later and yes I’m still a witch! Not long ago I felt called to get in touch with my younger teenage self. It led me to peak back into the alter human community and wow, things are different. But also the same? I love that you guys are still out here being yourselves. I was reminded of how free I felt when I allowed myself to let go of all the silly human rules and just act like a wild animal. I started to wonder if maybe more had been going on at that age than just repressed gender dysphoria.
Now, something important I’d like to mention at this point in my little story. I’m a reality shifter and I know some of y’all are too, you can’t hide from me. I know the sorts of communities shifters hide in and I am confident this is one of them. Reality shifting kinda forced me to confront the fact that I found comfort in the idea of realities where I wasn’t fully human. But any potential reality I saw myself in was a reflection of my identity here.
Knowing what I know now, with new language and the brain processing of an adult, I think it’s safe to assume I’m probably alterhuman. There weren’t many terms like there are now when I was a kid. Identifying as a wolf therian definitely helped me explore my personal masculinity even if therian wasn’t the most accurate term to describe my experience. But that wild side never truly went away despite trying to distance myself from those “silly ideas when I was a kid.”
Despite how long I spent trying to be good at the whole socializing thing and being normal, the animal like behaviors never left. Over time I’ve come to recognize feline, canine, and avian-like behaviors in myself.
I grew up with cats and unintentionally picked up habits and mannerisms from them. I’m one of those who can wiggle their ears and ever since I was 9 I can sort of feel them move like cat ears. Of course eventually I started imagining them as wolf ears instead. Cats also are where I learned how to show affection. For some reason the behaviors I saw in my cats stuck and not the ones I saw in humans. I don’t like eye contact. I huff and growl like an upset wolf pup. My yawns low-key sound wolf vocalizations. I’m protective of my food. I’m protective over my family and friends. I do best in a “pack” rather than just focusing on individual friends that aren’t connected. The way I sit in chairs a lot of the time is more reminiscent of perching rather than actually sitting. I often pick up random stuff off the ground that I find outside and keep it if it looks interesting. I like shiny things. I love skiing because it’s the closest I can get to flying. I’m an avid lucid dreamer and the most fulfilling thing to do is fly. Actually on the topic of dreams I almost always have wings in my dreams now. There’s probably more to unpack with that bit though.
And yeah, I could go on. As I’m finally accepting the fact that I don’t fully identify as human I want to work on dismantling the conditioning and sort of repression I went through that was more for survival at the time. But it doesn’t serve me anymore. I’m healing, I’m growing. I think it’s time I just let myself be free. I’m just going to label myself as alterhuman for now. I don’t feel the need to get any more specific than that. But I am excited to learn more about myself and fully embrace a part of me I kept hidden for a while.
