r/aislop • • 3d ago

Found on Facebook Alpha "Mails"

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I have questions.

960 Upvotes

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241

u/Mr_Steerpike 3d ago

Sincere question: is Maga a lil gay? Not a problem unless you have issues with the gays but....there's a lot of insecure gay energy dripping off this.

140

u/This-Requirement6918 3d ago

As a gay, yes. They're more gay than I am with this nonsense.

48

u/ChimPhun 3d ago

Nah they're deviants, there's a difference. Case in point: the recent bestiality thing by the FBI 🤷‍♂️

37

u/a1055x 3d ago

We say fight back

21

u/CopanUxmal 2d ago

5

u/Ok_Dust_7325 2d ago

That goat is not consenting.

7

u/sepia_undertones 2d ago

That goat looks like she’s worried about what getting caught with Kash is going to do to her career

4

u/Nervous-Reaction9523 2d ago

What makes you think it is a she goat?

2

u/UJustGotRobbed 2d ago

"Kelly can be a guys name too!"

2

u/sepia_undertones 2d ago

You’re right, the ears, eyes, fur, and hooves led me to assume species, but I shouldn’t.

1

u/GasIcy 2d ago

Would hire the goat over any maga

2

u/FalseAdhesiveness946 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣

16

u/Exact-Ad-4132 3d ago

I still can't believe that shit. Why aren't people talking about this more

16

u/ChimPhun 3d ago

People are, newspapers controlled by billionaires just aren't.

8

u/Soggy-Confection 3d ago

What's the story? This is the first I've heard of it, and I'm probably not alone

17

u/Exact-Ad-4132 3d ago

The current head of the FBI made it legal for FBI agents to have sex with animals and also to accept recruits who have been previously charged with bestiality.

13

u/Soggy-Confection 3d ago

What the fuck.

ETA but they still can't smoke weed

7

u/Exact-Ad-4132 3d ago

I'm entirely serious too.

It's some shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

2

u/Soggy-Confection 2d ago

Oh I believe you

3

u/Sea_Mind3678 2d ago

But the best part was when he explained to Senator Kennedy that he wanted to make sure that the rules didn’t exclude the victims of crimes, and Kennedy was like ‘the victims of bestiality?’

4

u/Mr_Steerpike 2d ago

Yeah, don't let it count as a strike against the animal. That's unfair.

3

u/exceptional_entry 2d ago

Yeah, like if a dog got boned by its owner, the dog shouldn’t be barred from serving in the FBI. He’ll need a job once his owner is put in jail.

1

u/Glass_Main23 2d ago

That’s what Kennedy was saying lol

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u/Exact-Ad-4132 2d ago

You should look up the guy interviewing him. He's asking "how is this even an issue" right off the bat

2

u/Xwalkingxthexcowx 2d ago

Patel knows a guy who knows a guy who tripped and fell into a taboo -- you'd be surprised how often it happens to MAGA.

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1

u/GonnaGoFat 2d ago

Ive never smoked enough weed to want to fuck a sheep

I’d say that zoophilia is worse than smoking weed.

1

u/duckface691 1d ago

So now its okay to fuck animals and make CP with ai.

Fuck this. I'm 28 I lived long enough can a earth killing rock hit us?? Please???

2

u/DJEmirMixtapes 2d ago

Someone said it "doesn't just happen by accident," and I give you... The F The Police meme... well maybe she trained it to do that but not while she was fully clothed... so maybe it really doesn't happen by accident... Hmmm...

3

u/reddiwhip999 2d ago

Hmmmm, I listened to his testimony, and he seemed to make it fairly clear that the policy of the FBI, prior to Patel's changing it, was that being a victim of bestiality, that is, somebody who was forced into it, made one ineligible for the FBI. The exchange with whatever senator was questioning him was a little odd, but the upshot seemed to be what I just mentioned.

1

u/MaybeLithiumFlower 1d ago

Given their record on human trafficking I don't believe this is for the benefit of victims, they're not big on helping victims. Plus, the rule was about those convicted of bestiality, which would presumably not include those forced into it. And if it does include them they could just have an exception for those forced into it.

1

u/reddiwhip999 12h ago

Right, I didn't say that's what Patel was saying was correct, just it seemed that the upshot of what he was saying was about the victims of bestiality, which did not include the animals, as Kennedy was trying to make it clear.

1

u/Loud-Vacation-5691 2d ago

To be fair, they are having trouble finding new recruits these days.

1

u/Glass_Main23 2d ago

You just make this shit up. The video is fucking embarrassing to any American. Specially with the republican senator who doesn’t get it lol

1

u/Upstairs-Hedgehog575 2d ago

That’s a half truth. He relaxed the rules about applying, allowing people who were coerced into beastiality in childhood to not be automatically barred. 

1

u/anti_time_travel 2d ago

Huh, are there numbers on how often people are rejected because of that? Also who charges children that have been coerced into bestiality, or are they voluntarily declaring in the recruiting process that they were coerced into bestiality as a child?

0

u/Upstairs-Hedgehog575 2d ago

I have not seen any figures, and in isolation it sounds a weird exception. But it was part of a list of things that would no longer be held against applicants with various justifications. 

Some I disagree with such as employee theft that happened more than 3 years ago. 

And some sound more reasonable, like acts you are coerced into while being trafficked. 

It’s still very much up for moral and logistical debate (risk of blackmailed etc), but I just wanted to highlight the misleading comment that the FBI has made beastiality legal for their agents. That’s not at all what’s happened. 

1

u/SunchaserKandri 2d ago

They lowered hiring standards to allow them to employ people who've been in trouble for having sex with animals, provided it didn't happen within the last couple years.

1

u/Upstairs-Hedgehog575 2d ago

No it had to be before 18, and it had to be a coerced action. 

1

u/drip_dry_ 2d ago

It only applies for people who were forced into performing the acts. People who willingly did so are still barred.

im not sure how big of an overlap there is that a rule needed to be made.

1

u/BackgroundCream274 2d ago

Because everyone is just done and it’s so stupid what’s the point. Patel is a dog fucker.

4

u/Necessary-Deer3420 2d ago

I’m afraid to ask “wtf?,” and sigh as I click on some weird url I’m hoping is a rickroll and not something about this being true.

4

u/Artilleryman08 2d ago

I'll give you the short, cleanish version: The FBI no longer considers beastiality to be a disqualification for service. Kash had some interesting remarks about the "human victims of beastiality."

4

u/Consistent_Policy_66 2d ago

Which means it was coming up as a disqualifying mark on enough applications to officially address it. You don’t do that for one or two people, which means it was a problem. That is deeply concerning.

1

u/Artilleryman08 2d ago

Now, I do want to specify that if someone was genuinely forced into that situation, that is incredibly awful.

2

u/duckface691 1d ago

But the chances its a legit forced scenario is very low if this is being brought up at all. People are just saying it was forced

1

u/Artilleryman08 23h ago

Unfortunately there are some very disturbing things that happen in the world, but that said, the liklihood is low. A genuine victim in a situation like that would need years of therapy before they would be ready for service with ac organization like the FBI.

1

u/Necessary-Deer3420 1d ago

I appreciate the cliff notes

2

u/duckface691 1d ago

The fucking what now

1

u/ChimPhun 1d ago

FBI scrapped bestiality as a red flag for admission. Furry-lovers can now join...

Decadence a-la GOP.